Open letter to the people in my Yoga class

Dear fellow Yogins and Yoginis*,

I realize that I am a recent addition to your class. I’m a little late in jumping on the whole Yoga bandwagon but I truly have come to appreciate the strength and flexibility Yoga provides. Also, the calmative effects of a class aren’t too shabby either. It is because of my newness to this activity that I have hesitated in mentioning what I’m about to, however, I can not possibly go on in silence any longer.

People. Let’s talk about grooming. Since Yoga is a sport one participates in barefoot let’s discuss a few ground rules. Feet should be clean. I’m not talking full pedicure with polished toes clean (men, please do not polish your toes), I just should not be able to see the dirt between your toes and under your toenails from my mat roughly 4 feet away. While upside down.

Also, please clip your toenails to a reasonable length. Just a general rule of thumb, if they puncture your mat while you are standing in tree? That’s too long. I realize that people get calluses on the bottoms of their feet. I do. I wear ridiculously uncomfortable (but CUTE!) shoes almost everyday and therefore have had my share of calluses. PLEASE refrain from picking at your calluses during class. The sound you make while trying to pry the roughened skin off your heel with your fingernails is seriously distracting.

Now let’s talk about proper attire. During the course of a class it’s entirely possible that we will be hanging upside down, lying with our legs and or butts in the air and twisted into pretzel-like shapes. If we’re lucky it’ll be a good combination of the three. Given that, please be sure that whatever clothing you shoes to wear to class allows for you to remain decent in any position. Ladies: loose fitting tank tops with no bra? NO! Men: running shorts with a sheer built-in underwear thing (or better yet – NO underwear thing)? Double NO! Please y’all, it is not good for my serenity to look over to see your saggy boobs or hairy nut sack.

And last, but not least, I know that some of us work out before we come to Yoga. Hell class doesn’t start until 7:30 – I might as well get a run in right? However, if you have worked out so hard that you have sweat through not one but three layers of gym clothes and you have trouble standing in poses because you are too slippery with sweat you might want to consider wiping down before class. Maybe another set of clothes? Sitting around in wet clothes can’t be warm. Or comfortable. Also, I hear they have these things in the locker room called showers. I’m just saying.

Sincerely,

A novice Yogini
(who maybe has a few OCD issues)


*Yes I totally looked up the term for students studying Yoga. Shut up!

Viva Las Vegas

Forgive the blog silence but I think I might be just now getting over my hang over from this weekend. So yeah. Of course I don’t have the cord thingy to my camera today so I can’t post any pictures but here is my brief (ha!) weekend update.

71/2 hours driven Friday night to Vegas
1 trip to the grocery store to stock the fridge with booze and food
3 rounds of King’s Cup played in hotel room until 4:30 am
22 hours I was awake in a row y’all!
1 trip to Fremont Street on Saturday
1 yard sized hurricane drank by yours truly
1 lazer light show finally seen by TheBoy on his 3rd trip to Vegas
1 totally awesome dueling pianos show – but y’all know that IS my favorite!
1 trip to the Sahara to see the Nascar exhibit
1 time TheBoy did the virtual race thing
1 time we rode the roller coaster
50 hot wings ordered at Hooters (1/2 911 and ½ 3 mile island – the two hottest sauces)
2 pitchers of beer drank (one each) by TheBoy and German – with a straw
1 totally awesome discovery of Kahunaville at Treasure Island
1 time I forgot my ID at the room and had to pay $50 for a round trip cab ride to go get it
63 roughly the number of songs I shook my ass to on the dance floor
1 walk over to a club called The Beach which sucked
1 cab ride back to Kahunaville where we partied all night long
2 new “friends” made at Kahunaville
1 time Catherine had to go topless in the ladies while I sewed her top
1 after party bar went to with new “friends”
17 number of blisters I have from dancing!
3 days my neck has been sore from the roller coaster and rock star dance moves
11 hours driven home on Monday (took longer due to hang over)

Okay that’s about all I can remember for now – I’ll post pics soon.

Of course the most EXCITING news of the weekend was the, not one but, TWO engagements announced by friends of Tiffy! A huge heartfelt congratulation goes out to Michele and John who got engaged on Saturday and to Angie and Erik who got engaged on Monday!

Love you guys!

The One.

I was having a conversation today in the lunch room with a newly married co-worker. I was trying to make small talk as we both went around the early morning tasks of facing another day at work. Putting our lunches in the fridge, coffee for her (tons of those mini-moos creamers), green tea for me. I asked her how the married life was going – half tongue in cheek because while they’ve only been MARRIED for a month or so, they’ve been a couple for 4 years. “It’s easy because he’s THE ONE”, she said.

This of course got me thinking about my own relationship and this “ONE” status that everyone always speaks of. Because let’s face it, these days I find myself contemplating my relationship and it’s future WAY more than is healthy. Or necessary. I blame time.

Now I’m not sure I believe in a "THE ONE", as in one person out there for each of us. I’ve known too many widows finding happiness in a second marriage, seen too many couples who seemed “perfect for each other” and “meant to be” torn apart by circumstance and change. However, when I think of TheBoy I do occasionally think of him as "THE ONE". As in the one that I chose right now.

The one that if I were to tie myself down tomorrow, and buy a hideous white dress, and change my last name, and open joint banking accounts with, I would chose. The one that if I did, by some miracle of God, develop a maternal instinct over night I would chose to hold my hair through morning sickness and wait with me in cold hospital rooms while a doctor searches for a tiny heartbeat. I’d want them (these hypothetical offspring) to have his eyes, his smile, and his knack for all things mechanical or engineering related. I think those things would mesh nicely with my freckles and adventurous spirit.

The one I would have by my side if my world turned upside down. The one who understands how awkward and alone I feel in certain situations and instinctively doesn’t leave my side. The one I would follow my dream with and leave everything I know behind and move thousands of miles away to satisfy a desire I’ve had since childhood. The one I would visit new places with, try new foods, new wines, jump off bridges into freezing rivers and stand out in the rain with just to remember how it feels.

But there’s a flip side to this isn’t there? He’s also the one who makes me want to curl up into the fetal position and hide when the topic of our future comes up. Literally makes me have to will myself not to vomit when he so casually dismisses the notions of happiness and forever that I’ve cherished since I was a little girl. The one who can bring the tears, the feelings of inadequacy, of desperation, just as quickly as the smiles and the overwhelming feelings of passion, of tenderness, of love.

Because through all the happiness and fun vacations and easy Saturday mornings and laughter there is still jobs and families and housing and bills to pay and every day mundane taking each other for granted and DAMN IT no one told me this was so complicated.

**********

I wrote the above entry months ago. Before the holidays. I never posted it because… Well, I’m just not that girl. You know the girl who talks about her relationships and analyzes them with her friends. I always marveled at women who bitch non stop about their significant other and then get angry with their girlfriends when they don’t like the guy. That and I am a big proponent of working things out myself. I figure this relationship is about us, as in me and him, and too much outside influence clouds judgment.

But this whole “the one” thing came up recently with yet another friend and I got to thinking and I pulled up this old entry. I’m amazed by two things. One is that I ever even let myself think (much less write) the things I did above. Totally out of character for me! The second thing that surprises me is that I wrote this post in a fit of negativity and yet, re-reading it now after the initial crisis has faded it’s fury a bit and I’ve had many more days of sunshine and laughter than sadness and bitter introspection, I realize that it’s actually a positive reflection of the relationship I have with TheBoy.

Because I think the counter balance, his yin to my yang, the ups, the downs and the ways that we can push each others buttons, is a testament to our feelings for each other. It shows the level of devotion we have to each other. The strength of our bond. And yes, we have some things to work out. There are differences. But they aren’t insurmountable differences. I guess the fact that we’re both still here, committed and working diligently towards a common future (regardless of what that future may hold), means that we may actually be each other’s “ONE” after all.

Walking on Sunshine*

I am having a good day. No, I’m having a GREAT day! I have no idea why. I don’t know who or what caused it… It’s just one of those days you know? Hell I even got a parking ticket this morning and it hasn’t dampened my mood!

Maybe it’s a combination of things. Like the awesome 70+ degree weather outside? Or the fact that I am wearing a dress today that I haven’t been able to zip up, much less breathe in, for over 2 years? Maybe it’s the excitement of my trip to Vegas in 3 days? Who knows.

But I certainly hope this lasts… I’m loving it!

*****

I used to think maybe you loved me
now baby, I'm sure.
And I just can't wait till the day when you knock on my door.
Now every time I go for the mailbox
got to hold myself down.
'Cause I just can't wait
till you write me you're coming around.

Now I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine
and don't it feel good?

I used to think maybe you loved me
now I know that it's true.
And I don't want to spend my whole life just a waiting for you.
Now I don't want you back for the weekend
not back for a day.
I said baby
I just want you back and I want you to stay.

I'm walking on sunshine
I'm walking on sunshine
And don't it feel good?

Walking on sunshine - walking on sunshine.
I feel alive
I feel in love
I feel a love that's really real.

*****

*Because there is nothing like a little Katrina and the Waves to liven up your workday.

Habit Forming

By now y’all all know that I am anal retentive. And yet oddly enough, some of you are still reading this! So it’s probably no surprise that I have a palm pilot. And in my palm pilot I carefully plot out work out plans and meals and such. I also tally calories but that a whole separate post.

Yesterday’s calendar entry looked like this:

5:00 am – ½ Banana
5:30 am to 6:30 am – Boot Camp
6:30 am – ½ Banana
10:00 am – NF Yogurt
12:00 pm to 1:00 pm – Lunch with Mom
12:00 pm – Grilled Eggplant and Red Pepper Sandwich
2:00 pm – Orange
4:30 pm – Go to Sees
6:00 pm – Go to Gym
8:00 pm – Turkey and Black Bean Enchiladas

Okay I think I just scared myself.

But wait there was a point to this… Oh right. So given the extremely AR scheduling above you can imagine how not amused I am when something happens to throw off my schedule. It completely derails my train if you will.

Take yesterday. I should have left work at 4:30, picked up TheBoy at 4:45, picked up the items I needed at Sees and been home in plenty of time to change and be at the gym by 6:00.

Shockingly, it didn’t quite go that way. I got off work a little after 5:30 and when I went to go pick up TheBoy he was at the pub with a friend we haven’t seen in awhile (the one that introduced us in fact). Of course I had to stay for a pint. I might have had two. TheBoy had like 5. On our way home, because I had completely abandoned any idea of going to Sees, TheBoy did some drunk dialing. Yes he did. Next thing I know we’re having a mini party at our place. On Monday night. Score!

Needless to say, I didn’t get the candy I needed and have added that to the to-do list for today, I didn’t go to the gym and I didn’t have the nutritious Turkey and Black bean enchiladas for dinner.

What I DID do is drink beer (bad), take shots of Apple Jack (worse), eat pot stickers and Top Ramen for dinner (worst) and generally just have a fabulous time. All because I had to work an hour late. See? Do you see what happens when you mess with the schedule? I’m just saying…

Oh and there might have been Twister involved. Because that’s the way we roll over at ChezGhetto y’all.

Resolution Update

February 2nd. So it’s been 32 days since the New Year. Now normally I would have already forgotten what my New Year’s resolutions were by now. But this year? I have a blog! And I posted them here for all the world* to see, hoping that it would keep me accountable and stuff.

Not to say that I actually remembered all of my resolutions… But I did remember the general gist of them and I have been working on them. So I went back this morning to check to see what I actually wrote and I’m pleased to say I’m making progress! Yay me!

And now I’m going to share my progress with all of you whether you care or not because in March I’ll look back and be able to see the progress I made in February. Because after all I figure I’m the main reader of this blog anyway… It’s all about me baby!

~ Working out and losing 12 pounds.
Well first of all I actually bit the bullet and got my ass on the scale to see what kind of damage I’d done during the holidays and realized that it’s actually more like 18 pounds left to lose. Disappointing but… Still totally doable. I just keep reminding myself how far I’ve come already. Plus it’s better for me if I’m realistic with myself.

As for the working out bit, I have actually made huge amounts of progress. I signed back up for Boot Camp. Can you believe I actually missed it? Crazy. Also, I’ve been working out at the gym at least 3 times a week (usually more) AND I’ve started taking yoga classes. LOVE yoga y’all! Seriously, if I could be that relaxed all the time? Awesome. Also, it’s nice because I’m already starting to see the benefits of it in my flexibility and balance. Y’all know I needed the help in the balance area – total klutz over here!

~ Enter / compete in a couple 10K and/or ½ marathons.
It’s not the racing season yet so I have some time on this one.

~ Sensible eating plan.
Check. I would say I’ve been very good at following the plan from the nutritionist over the last month. Sure I’ve given myself a couple of treats here and there but… A girl has to live right? It’s been strange incorporating more carbs into my diet though. I totally bought into that “carbs are evil” trend a few years back and even now that I know better I still feel guilty!

~ Enroll in school.
This is a post unto itself. Let’s just say this one is not going so well.

~ Become debt free. Stick to budget. Limit frivolous purchases. Bring lunch from home.
I’m feeling pretty good about my start to this one. I cut up both of my credit cards (though I did get a new AmEx in the mail the next day, which I took as a sign that I should maybe have that one for a rainy day) and haven’t really bought anything frivolous. Well except plane tickets to Maui. But y’all know. That was for my sanity! And I’m very good about bringing my lunch from home.

~ Limit alcoholic consumption.
Bwaaaaaaaah Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whew! Yeah. I forgot I even put that on there. Whooooo! That was good for a laugh!

~ Be positive and enthusiastic.
Check. I’m definitely feeling the positive outlook on life these days.

~ Regular sleep schedule.
Odd how waking up at 5 am for boot camp sort of forces you in to a regular sleep pattern. Well by “regular” I mean regular for me. I try to be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00 on weeknights. Whether or not I am sleeping depends on the night. But at least I’m making an effort!

~ Resist urge to cut hair.
Check. So far so good. Though is it bad that I’ve worn some form of a pony tail to work every day this week?

~ Not take friends and family for granted – show them how much they mean to me.
Hmmm… Not sure I can really say how I’ve done on this one. I mean I’ve been trying to do it sure. But as to whether or not my friends and family are feeling loved and appreciated I can’t say.

~ Spend more time with my mother.
DOH! I’m calling that woman today and putting something in the calendar. I am a bad daughter!

~ Be in better contact with friends.
Right. (she types with one hand as she furiously adds names to her to–do list for today) Does it count for anything that I’ve been thinking about people I need to e-mail or call? No? Okay well check with my next month – I’m definitely going to work on this one.

~ Try two new things.
Hmmm… I suppose I should start thinking about which new things I want to try huh? Again, check with me in March.


*all 4 of you

All the cool kids are doing it!

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Timing

"The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for."

-- Dan Millman

La Di Da

I sat down yesterday to write my weekend recap and realized that I would probably put you all to sleep by recounting last weekend. And you know what? It was fantastic!

Friday night we did go see a friend’s band which is always good times. Other than that it was working out, hanging out, chores and yoga. Nice and relaxing. Sometimes a girl just needs that.

Work (hypothetically) is finally ramping up after the lull for the holidays and I’m just slammed so I apologize in advance for the sporadic blogging. I do have several posts in the queue though, it’s just finding the time to finalize them!

In the meantime, I actually got tagged legitimately. As opposed to me just stealing these things from other people because I want to. Y’all know.

(thanks Kate!)

Four things I love about spring:
1) The re-emergence of nature (flowers, green grass, etc…)
2) Crisp mornings and warm afternoons
3) Baby animals
4) The days getting longer

Four things I love about summer:
1) Warm, sunshine filled days
2) Wakeboarding / camping trips to the lake
3) The beach
4) Open toe sandals and sundresses

Four things I love about autumn:
1) Warm days with cool evenings
2) Barbeque / Dinner parties with friends
3) Football season
4) Thanksgiving

Four things I love about winter:
1) The extra coat of fur my cat gets (so snuggly!)
2) Holiday lights
3) Christmas
4) Okay this is hard for me, I really hate winter!

Four U.S. cities I’d visit in a heartbeat:
1) San Antonio, TX
2) San Diego, CA
3) New York, NY
4) Washington DC

Four jobs I've had:
1) Retail Sales / Wedding Invitation Specialist
2) Nanny
3) Licensed Real Estate Assistant / Buyer’s Agent
4) Assistant Mortgage Banker

Four favorite Singers/Groups:
1) Antigone Rising
2) Dave Matthews
3) Josh Groban
4) The Rat Pack

Four most romantic songs:
1) At Last – Etta James
2) Glory of Love – Peter Cetera
3) Because You Love Me – Celine Dion
4) You’re Still the One – Shania Twain

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1) Dirty Dancing
2) Top Gun
3) Finding Nemo
4) Center Stage (shut up!)

Four television shows I love to watch:
1) American Idol
2) The OC
3) anything on Food TV
4) umm… that’s about it.

Four places I've been on vacation:
1) Hawaii (big island, Maui, Kauai)
2) Aruba
3) Las Vegas
4) Sun River, OR

Four blogs I visit daily: (I actually read about 12 but here’s 4 I think you should read!)
1) Post Secret
2) Crazy Aunt Purl
3) She Just Walks Around With It
4) Greek Tragedy

Four favorite foods:
1) Mexican
2) Greek
3) Italian
4) Japanese

Four places I'd rather be:
1) Hawaii
2) Mexico
3) Greece
4) Italy

Four people I'm tagging:
I tag anyone else who hasn’t done this yet and wants to!

Yes it's true

Yes it’s true that I am a natural blonde. I highlight and lowlight depending on my mood but… I’m a blonde. The carpet matches the drapes if you will. Also, I have blonde eyelashes which is SO SO SO annoying. I’m just saying.

Yes it’s true that I have only felt truly loved, cherished and respected by a boyfriend once. It’s the only time in my life where I woke up in the morning and felt beautiful.

Yes it’s true that no matter how many boyfriends I have loved, I’ve only been “in love” with one. That truly selfless, put their happiness first and work every day towards improving our relationship kind of love.

It’s also true that those are two different men.

Yes it’s true that I love to sing and dance. I don’t do either anymore because I was only marginally good at either. I think that’s why I’m so fascinated by things like American Idol!

Yes it’s true that I own 50+ pairs of shoes. And I’m weeding them down – it used to be a lot more than that!

Yes it’s true that I keep secrets. There isn’t anyone who knows everything there is to know about me. I keep it that way on purpose. I’m afraid that if one person knew all of me they would realize that they don’t like me after all.

It’s also true that I wish there was someone I could talk to about everything. But I know that it will probably never be.

Yes it’s true that I used to be quite the “church girl”. Youth group member, worship band singer, if there was a group to join at church or a trip to go on I was there. It was simultaneously the most at home and also the most inadequate I’d ever felt.

It’s true that I miss going to church. I miss the fellowship. I miss the teaching – though I didn’t necessarily always agree with it. I miss the ideals.

Yes it’s true that I went to bible college for a few weeks right out of high school.

It’s also true that I left there because I realized that I was by no stretch of the definition “conservative”. Also, I missed home, my friends and my boyfriend. I wonder sometimes what my life would be like if I’d stayed.

Yes it’s true that I am petrified of meeting new people. If I think about it for too long I will seriously give myself a panic attack. I hate going places where I won’t know anyone. Especially if it’s expected that I will talk to them.

It’s true that anyone I’ve ever told that to has laughed at me. I can be very outgoing with my friends and I think they have trouble picturing the me I am when they aren’t around.

Yes it’s true that I attribute periods of my life and feelings I felt with locations. Also with songs and smells. Sometimes this is a bad thing as it’s hard to overwrite bad memories with good if I avoid certain locations like the plague!

Yes it’s true that I color coordinate my closets and alphabetize my CDs.

Yes it’s true that I hate lending things to people because I know they won’t take immaculate care of whatever it is like I would. I lend things to people because I’m afraid they’ll think I’m a freak if I try to explain why I don’t want to.

Yes it’s true that I have only given two weeks notice at two jobs in my entire life. The others I’ve either been laid off, the job was temp or seasonal and it ended or I’ve sent my resignation in and walked out.

It’s also true that I’ve had more than my fair share of scary bosses. Remember this post? Yeah.

Yes it’s true that I am obsessive about food, dieting and exercise. I’ve known the calorie content of my toothpaste since Jr. High.

Yes it’s true that I’ve recently become reacquainted with a woman I knew from spending summers with Jim in Mississippi. You know what she remembered about me? That I taught her how to count calories and make sure you worked off more calories than you ate.

It’s sadly true that I haven’t spent a summer with Jim since I was 8.

Yes it’s true that my biological father’s name is Jim and lives in Mississippi with his wife Brenda. Brenda has two children (now adults I’m sure) whose names I can not remember. I feel like he chose them over me.

Yes it’s true I miss him sometimes.

Yes it’s true that I drink a lot. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I drink too much?

It’s true that typing the above statement made me laugh!

Yes it’s true that I despise winter. I thought I was crazy until I read about this thing called seasonal depression. I hate cold and dark. Also, I hate rain.

Yes it’s true I am an avid reader. I’d much rather spend time reading than almost anything else. I have a small fortune worth of books crammed into my apartment.

Derailed? Or back on track?

And this is how easy it is for me to get completely sidetracked y’all. Last night after work TheBoy wanted to go to giant, scary and also utterly boring computer/electronics store to buy a new stereo for the Bronco. Because the old stereo might have a small problem with leaking and during the last storm water apparently got into the dash and well… RIP stereo. My payment for going along quietly? Dinner. His treat.

So after our successful foray into the pit of hell, er… I mean electronics store, I decided that Fresh Mex was definitely in order. We ended up at a local place, in fact the same place as mentioned here. (OMG I just linked to myself, how tacky!) Once we remembered THAT little tidbit we HAD to have a margarita to celebrate the memory. Ahem.

And y’all? That was the best damn margarita I’ve had in ages! Mmm… Tequila! It tasted so good in fact that after we paid our bill for dinner we headed over to the bar for another. A Grande one this time. Because that’s clearly what the situation needed.



Note size of glass in comparison to size of head. Anyone else thinking that should have been a sign? Also, please disregard extremely pink cheeks. Ah the joys of being a fair skin drinker!

Moments of hilarity, fits of laughter and general “remember when” nostalgia ensued. At some point we decided that we should document the evening with photos. We must have been the evening’s entertainment for the rest of the bar! This is what happens when drunk people carry digital cameras. I’m just saying…


I might have been mocking his new haircut a little...

All on a Tuesday night y’all. Tuesday! Nevermind that I was supposed to be at a yoga class at 7:30. Nevermind the roughly 613 loads of laundry that were waiting at home (much less the fact that TheBoy is out of clean underwear!). Nevermind any number of grown up responsibilities and New Year resolutions. It was an evening for drinking tequila!

After the Grande margarita we decided maybe we should go home while one of us was still sober enough to drive. We listened to music, drank beer, laughed more and eventually watched a movie. Oh! We did manage to do one thing productive which was take pictures of some monitors and my treadmill so that we can list them for sale. Yay us! We did manage to do something from the never ending To-Do list!

Of course tonight I’ll be at the gym working my little tail off and trying desperately to undo the damage from last night. But you know what? It was totally worth it. It was like none of the weirdness from the past several months had happened and we were just "us" again. I wouldn't trade that for all the size 2 jeans in the world.

Weekend Recap

1 Pug puppy played with
1 happy hour went to Friday night with Pug’s mommy
2 times I went to the gym this weekend
1 girl’s lunch Saturday
3 wineries visited
4th birthday party for TheBoy attended on Saturday night
1 glass of wine I had at party
1 “red wine incident” at party that caused everyone to leave early/pass out
1 hour I spent cleaning up after everyone left/passed out at party
1 yoga class attended
2 margaritas drank Sunday
2 bars TheBoy and I went to on our “date night” last night
1 awesome sushi dinner at my favorite place
1 cool guy sitting next to us at the bar who just moved here from Oahu
217 tips for locals given once TheBoy and I admitted our plan to move there
1 fun new Sunday night event discovered

All in all it was a nice, quiet and low key weekend. I think I still needed to recover from last weekend! I’m really working on staying focused on the working out and eating right plan. I just keep chanting “Maui, Maui, Maui” over and over in my head. It’s very effective in combating excess calories!

School Woes...

A few tidbits for your Friday…

SJSU has still not managed to admit me. I guess they are a little overwhelmed by the amount of transcripts they have received and it’s taking some time to get them entered into the system. Once they are all in the system then someone can review my file. Until then – I wait. Hourly phone calls into my admissions counselor are useless because her outgoing message says that her mailbox is full and to please try again later. I’ve been “trying again” for 3 days now. Yesterday I left messages for both of her supervisors. You can imagine how many phone calls I’ve received back. Classes start Monday. I’m basically out of luck.

Must. Find. Positive. Side. I’ll have more money if I’m not in school this semester which means I can pay off some more debt and take a few more boot camp sessions. I’ll also have more time to spend with my friends and family.

This weekend should be fun. Saturday my friends Liz and Christine and I are going to meet for brunch and go wine tasting for the day. I can’t wait! I’m really looking forward to some nice relaxing girl time. That evening is yet another birthday celebration for TheBoy! Anyone else notice how we tend to draw out the birthdays around here? It’s like a birth-month instead of a birth-day.

And Vegas is only 3 weeks away! Now that’s something a girl can get excited about!

Sometimes it’s very hard to maintain a positive outlook. And yet, somehow I usually manage to pull it off. But am I cheating myself? Setting standards of my behavior that I am going to regret? Standards that I’ll resent?

The Song Remembers When*

And there was a God in Heaven
And the world made perfect sense
We were young and were in love
And we were easy to convince
We were headed straight for Eden
It was just around the bend
And though I have forgotten all about it
The song remembers when

For even if the whole world has forgotten
The song remembers when

I forget sometimes the way it felt to be newly dating now that TheBoy and I have been together so long. I get more caught up in the mundane details of the now and the future of our relationship and forget to spend time reliving the details that brought us together and made us fall in love in the first place. I hate that I do that. I am resolving from now on to spend more time focusing on the great things in our past and less time on the uncertainty in our future.

Like the first time we spent any time together just he and I. He had come to my place with a mutual friend and we had walked down the street for margarita happy hour. When our friend had to leave we all walked back to my place and as I was hugging my friend good bye he caught my eye over his head and winked. Next thing I know he’s telling our friend that he thinks he’s going to stay and I hear myself saying that I know of a good Mexican place for dinner. We thought we were being so sneaky! And how cocky was that, to just invite himself to stay knowing he had no car and would have to depend on me for a ride home! I loved that he was so confidant in himself and so sure I must be feeling the same thing he was feeling about us. He was right. That was an awesome night. It was the first night we kissed.

I love how he would invite me over for a couple of drinks and then insist was too drunk to drive and absolutely MUST stay the night. I love that nothing ever happened on those nights beyond a few kisses and hours upon hours of conversations. I love how I felt so comfortable with him right off the bat. I remember how I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could and yet I forced myself to go home some nights because I was afraid we were getting too close too fast. I loved how willing he was to meet my parents only 2 months in.

I joke all the time about how he tricked me into this relationship. He was in school an hour away and only home for the summer. We started dating at the end of June and he was going back to school in August. I remember thinking that I was glad to have a summer fling because I wasn’t rally looking for anyone anyway. Also, I thought he was too young for me – I definitely didn’t want a college frat boy type and he struck me initially as just that. I also remember being sad one day when I realized that it was August and I was sure he was leaving any day. I was adamant that we were not going to have a long distance relationship. Just what I needed, right? To be worried about all the hot co-eds that he’d be with all the time in college? No way.

I remember how it was all of a sudden September and he hadn’t left. I was dying to know and yet afraid to ask in case he thought that I wanted him to go. I remember the nonchalant way he came over one night after I had gotten off of work and told me that he’s taken a job here in Palo Alto and that he supposed he was staying here. That night got added to the already long list of favorite nights we shared. We drove out to the coast, had dinner, and laughingly joked about the new dynamic to our relationship now that it wasn’t just a summer fling. I remember not knowing what I was thinking only it felt suspiciously like love.

I want to spend more time remembering these things.


*Trisha Yearwood

The 69 Post

I got this from Stephanie Klein and thought it was funny. She talks about how she never realized how much people like to talk about themselves until she spent sometime doing market research. How true! But I swear I learn something more about me everytime I do one of these...

And I liked it because it's got 69 in it... Tee hee!

*****

1. What time did you get up this morning?
6:30 am or so… I was being lazy!

2. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds ARE a girl’s best friend

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Ummm… National Treasure maybe?

4. What is your favorite TV show?
American Idol – I’m a total geek I know

5. What did you have for breakfast?
Low Fat Blackberry Yogurt with Protein Powder

6. What is your middle name?
Nicole

7. What is your favorite food?
Mexican!

8. What foods do you dislike?
Fishy fish, meat with lots of fat/gristle, fois gras, head cheese

9. Your favorite Potato chip?
Kettle Chips – so crunchy and yummy!

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Best of Heart 1985-1995

11. What kind of car do you drive?
Chevy Cavalier Z24 Convertible

14 Favorite drink?
Iced Tea

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be?
Greece, Italy, France

16.What color is your bathroom?
White mainly

17. Favorite brand of clothing?
Ann Taylor

18.Where would you retire?
Someplace warm!

19 Favorite time of day?
Depends – weekend days it’s first thing in the morning, during the work week it’s the after work/gym, cooking dinner time (7:30 – 8:00)

21. Favorite sport to watch?
Football!

22. Who do you least expect to send this back?
Mary

23. Person you expect to send it back first?
Liz – if she’s online

24. What laundry detergent do you use?
The Costco brand imitation Tide

25. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither – though I just discovered that Fresca is back!

26. Are you a morning person or night owl?
Morning person

27. What size shoe do you wear?
5

28. Do you have pets?
One very spoiled cat

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your friends?
I wish!

30. What (who) did you want to be when you were little?
A gymnast ala Mary Lou Retton

31. Favorite Candy Bar?
Almond Joys – though my favorite candy is SweetTarts!

33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
Retail sales girl, delivery driver, nanny, receptionist, administrative assistant, real estate agent, paralegal, marketing director, associate mortgage banker

34. Favorite season?
Summer

35. Nicknames you've had?
Tiff, Tiffy, Tiffy2, Blondie, Babycakes, Babe, Fat Cat

36. Piercings:
2 sets in ears and belly button

37. Eye color:
I swear it depends on the day and who’s looking! I’ll say greenish grey.

38. Ever been to Africa?
Nope.

39. Ever been toilet papering?
Nope.

40. Love someone so much it made you cry?
Cry because I was in love? No. Someone I loved made me cry? Yes.

41. Been in a car accident?
Yes.

42. What's a question no one has ever asked you?
“Are you completely satisfied/happy?” In any context. I think it’s because I have a - whatever makes YOU happy - approach to most relationships.

43. Favorite day of the week?
Thursday

44. Favorite restaurant?
Too many to list! Evvia, Cascal, Anton & Michel’s, Cassanova, Moss Beach Distillery…

45. Favorite flower?
Forget Me Nots

46. Favorite ice cream?
Baseball Nut from Baskin Robins (only available during baseball season) or Pecan Praline

47. Disney or Warner Brothers?
I have no idea…

48. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Taco Bell

49. What color is your bedroom carpet?
Shit brown

50. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
None.

51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?
Christian

52. Which store would you choose to Max out your Credit Card?
Ann Taylor

53. What do you do most often when you are bored?
Read

54. Bedtime:
Early! Most nights it’s between 9:30 and 10:30

56. Last person you went to dinner with?
Ryan

57. Ford or Chevy?
It’s a matter of hot debate over at ChezGhetto! But I like either so long as you’re buying American made!

58. What are you listening to right now?
Office noise

59. What is your favorite color?
Color for what?

60. Lake, Ocean or River?
Lake… But any body of water will do!

61. How many tattoos do you have?
1, hopefully soon to be 2

62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
The chicken

63. How many people are you sending this email to?
The entire blogosphere

64. Favorite Cocktail?
Beer? Does beer count? If not then it’s a Belvedere martini, dirty

65. Red or White wine?
Generally red.

66. Where would you go for a girls or boys weekend get-a-way?
Wine country

67. What do you want to be?
Happily married with a successful career. A good daughter. A good friend.

68. Republican or Democrat?
Democrat

69. Favorite Family Vacation?
Aruba was fun!

Weekend Recap - TheBoy's birthday!

Whew! What a weekend! It’s a good thing TheBoy’s birthday only comes once a year because I don’t think my kidney’s could handle it more often. All in all a good time was had by all. A couple of TheBoy’s friends from out of the area came to town (German from Reno and Brian from Monterey) for the party Saturday which was awesome for him. But let me back up a little because the birthday celebrations actually began on Thursday.

Thursday night after work we drove up to SF to have dinner at Blue Plate with TheBoy’s mom and her bf and his brother and his fiancé. The food was spectacular! The power in the restaurant went out about half way through the evening… Luckily we had already gotten our food! It was an adventure though. The restaurant is basically an old house and we were seated in the far back on what I’m sure used to be an enclosed patio or sun room. So, while the main part of the restaurant was smoky (exhaust fans in the kitchen are electric) and dark, we were happily enjoying our meal by moonlight (and candle light) and with the windows open.

After dinner we met up with a friend of TheBoy’s from college, Angie who lives in SF and we hardly get to see. She brought along a friend also and the four of us sat and drank (well I drank sprite anyway) and talked until 1:00 am! On a school night! Yeah. Once I realized what time it was we quickly high tailed it out of there. A 45 minute car ride later we fell into bed at around 2:00 am. Just for reference, my alarm goes off at 6:00 am.

Friday night after work TheBoy and I headed over to exchange a pair of jeans I bought him for a smaller size (bastard! He wasn’t even TRYING to lose weight!) and from there went to have a couple pints of beer before dinner. Dinner was fantastic at our favorite Greek restaurant as always. We each had a couple of glasses of wine and managed some not too awkward conversation and generally enjoyed each other’s company – it was nice. After dinner we headed over to a pub to meet up with the gang. Surprise for TheBoy, his friend German had driven down from Reno to surprise him! Very, very cool. The group broke up at the pub around midnight and TheBoy, German and I headed home. I made it until about 2:00 am again and then passed out. I’m pretty sure the boys were up until 4:00 am!

Saturday was spent in a frenzy of cleaning (I’m maybe a little OCD about having a clean house if people are coming over) and buying beer and booze and snacks for the birthday party later that evening. I would say the party was a success, even if we did run out of beer halfway through the evening! Luckily there was plenty of hard alcohol around and the shots were free flowing. All I can say is – I’m glad I survived the evening! It was fun to see everyone. Shockingly, none of our neighbors complained! Score! Again, I think I maybe managed to get to bed by 4:00 am, only to be wide awake again at 7:30. (I also maybe can’t sleep so well if I think the house is a mess) But out of respect for German who was sleeping in the living room – I stayed in bed and read until almost 10 before getting up to clean.

Needless to say last night I was spent! The weekend was a blast but I’m certainly glad it’s over… My body is in full detoxify mode right now. Oddly enough I have zero desire for a beer or glass of wine... I’m sure I’ll get over THAT soon enough though!

Today is back to real life. I’ve been doing pretty well on the whole working out and eating right thing (the past weekend excluded) so I’m very proud of myself. I’m actually looking forward to the gym tonight! I love it!

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Name one chore you don't really mind doing.

Vacuuming. Actually I like most chores. It’s much easier for me to pick the two that I LOATHE doing – taking out the trash and scrubbing the shower. Luckily for me TheBoy doesn’t mind those… He hates laundry and dishes.

Soup
How many times have you moved homes in your life?

Oh wow. Um… 19? I can only count 19 right now and that’s cause I’m a little fuzzy on the details of what happened when I was super young. Just because I got such a kick out of doing this I’ll list the ones I can remember in order:

~ Fontana, CA – house where I was born

~ Brookings, OR - grandma’s house while my mom and Jim got divorced

~ Loma Linda, CA w/ my mom – super young, Mom owned a green house there

~ Sunnyvale, CA – apartment where the woman below us had a daughter my age and we used to play dress up – I was always Maid Marion from Robin Hood

~ Mountain View, CA – I hated this apartment because it had floor to ceiling windows and we were on the first floor so I thought someone could steal me.

~ Cibolo, TX – house in teeny tiny little town – I have awesome memories of this place… It’s the first house that sticks out as “home”.

~ Menlo Park, CA – house on VA property when my mom first moved in with Al – they had been together about 10 years at this point. I was in Jr. High and High School.

~ Mountain View, CA – in-law unit and first time I ever lived alone. I was a nanny for the couple who owned the house but there incessant screaming was too much. That and I wanted to “rescue” Angie from Corning.

~ San Jose, CA – 1 bedroom, 2 girls. Lots of crap and an incessant smell of curry. I think there were 7 people living in that house. I’m to AR for that – it didn’t last long.

~ Mountain View, CA – apartment with Angie – still small but at least it was just us. There was also a knife wielding attacker on our street once. But the pizza place across the street was awesome!

~ Livermore, CA – the first of two times that I moved home to my parent’s house to save money in between moves.

~ Atherton, CA – ah… the dorms! One semester only though. Again – I don’t like communal living.

~ San Bruno, CA – surprisingly large in-law unit close to SFSU where I was in school at the time.

~ Livermore, CA – time #2 that I lived at my parent’s house. And I commuted 45 miles each way to be at work!

~ Mountain View, CA – condo that my bosses purchased for me to live in because I couldn’t afford to rent anything in a decent neighborhood at the time. I felt so appreciated and lucky.

~ Palo Alto, CA – apartment with AnnMarie, after I got laid off post 9/11. I loved this neighborhood. Grocery store and local coffee shop across the street! So fun! Also, TheBoy moved in with us at some point…

~ Mountain View, CA – TheBoy’s and my first apartment together. I was so happy there. But the management company had a problem with Ryan always working on his cars… And he has a lot of cars.

~ Sunnyvale, CA – townhouse with TheBoy, with a garage! Exciting! Actually this is by far the nicest place I’ve lived in since I left home. But I was more miserable in the year+ we lived there than I have ever been in my life. I don’t have great memories of that place.

~ Mountain View, CA – ChezGhetto – our current home. But hopefully for not too much longer!

Whew! I must have a wandering spirit or something!

Salad
How old were you when you had your very first kiss?

First boy/girl kiss was a peck on the cheek from my friend Justin Marlowe – I think it was the summer before 7th grade – I had just moved here from TX and his dad lived down the street. He and his sister Tracy were my only friends that summer.

My first “French” kiss was on New Year’s Day of my Freshman year in High School. I was so “in love” with that boy AND we had been dating* for like 6 months at the time and it was the second time he had been my boyfriend. We had dated* a couple of months the prior year also. Wow I was innocent then!

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel your best?

I’m definitely a morning person!

Dessert
Using three words or less, describe your current local weather.

Cold. Crappy. Winter.



*It’s not really “dating” when you’re that age but whatever. He was my “boyfriend”. My first serious “relationship”.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Today kicks off 4 days of birthday celebrations for TheBoy. I'd tell y'all all about them but I'm waiting until Monday on the off chance that he'll pick today to start reading this blog! But trust me it'll be fun!

I just have to make it through dinner tonight. Thankfully OlderBrother and Fiance will be there so I'm hoping to steer the conversation to the wedding all night to avoid any awkward moments. Wish me luck!

Also, while I'm at it... Because I am horrible at the timely posting of pictures... Here are some photos of the gang at Liz's and my holiday cocktail party. Which was maybe a month ago. Whoops!

This is my new favorite quote

"You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy."

--Lydia Marie Child

I had no idea who this Lydia Marie Child person was but after 20 seconds of furious Google research I found that she was a "famously radical abolitionist". I knew I liked her just from this quote!

Anywho - this popped up in my calendar today. Yes, I am one of those people that still carries a massive calendar. And yes, it has "inspirational quotes" in it. Shutup. I also have a Palm Pilot so I'm not totally in the dark ages. I just like to doodle! And cross things off a list! Deleting them is so not the same.

Back to the quote though... Isn't this the perfect quote given my new "Positive and Enthusiastic Tiffy" resolution??? It was a sign y'all. Kind of a slight, keep on keeping on vibe. And as my Mom was entirely too fond of saying when I was a child, "if you haven't got anything nice to say, keep your trap shut!" Mom is a bit a para-phraser (sp?), but her point always comes across!

Tidbits

I met up with my friend from high school last Thursday and we had a blast! It was so good to catch up and hear all that had been going on with her in the last 8 years. I was initially afraid it might be awkward but we were giggling hysterically and talking like old friends with in minutes. We went to this really fun wine bar that just opened and I met the owner and the three of us gossiped away 2 flights and a glass of wine each! I can’t wait to go back to this place and take some of the classes she offers. So fun! After that we decided that we hadn’t had near enough time to chat so we decided to go to dinner. Needless to say I stayed out WAY later than I anticipated! I blame the wine! And maybe the super gorgeous waiter we had at dinner that had the sexiest accent and spoke French the whole night. Who cares if I couldn’t understand a thing! Yum! We also ran into yet another person we had known in high school at dinner. Small world!

Friday night I met up with a couple of girlfriends for some happy hour and dinner since we hadn’t really seen each other since before the holidays. It was fun catching up – I always have a good time when I’m out with my ladies! Of course next time I go out with the girls I’m going to make sure no one is jet lagged or has had a particularly taxing week at work. Everyone was passing out at the dinner table by 8:00 pm! So sad! But it was fun none the less and we’re definitely going to have to do it again soon.

Saturday I spent the day with my mom doing what we do best when together – shopping! Not that I had any business shopping mind. But it was fun none the less. And I’m back to the strict budget now. I did get some cute things though, and all of them in a smaller size which is always fun! And I finally got around to buying some things I desperately needed but have been putting off because I haven’t wanted to go to the mall and tempt myself. We had lunch and gossiped and had an awesome time. I love my mom! Later that night we picked some friends up from the airport and had pizza and beer at our place with them before driving them to their car. Then we headed out to my friend Carrie’s bar to hang out and have a couple drinks with friends.

Sunday I got up and worked out – I’ve started doing the new plan from the boot camp trainer and all I can say is – WOW – she’s kicking my ass! Every time I think I’m in pretty good shape I try something new and realize that I am so NOT! Then I went to the mall (again – 2 times in one weekend – crazy!) with Liz so she could return some stuff and use her gift certificates. And because I am the supportive best friend that I am, I bought some stuff too! Right. What was I saying about that budget? And I submitted to getting my eyebrows waxed! I would end up with the eyebrow Nazi as a best friend. Sunday afternoon we went to TheBoy’s dad’s house to have Christmas and an impromptu engagement party for TheBoy’s brother and his fiancé. It is always fun to see the family – at least this part of the family that loves me – and Josh and Kristi are positively glowing. So exciting for them!

I’ve been so busy lately – or at least I feel like I’m so busy lately! Between sorting out what’s going on with my admission to school, launching myself back into the exercise regimen I put on hold for the holidays, planning meals to follow the nutritionist’s advice, and sorting out all the marketing and advertising for 2006 at work I feel like my “to-do” list is getting way out of control! Though yesterday I did spend an hour or so looking at airfare and generally just getting excited about the trip to Maui I’m taking with Liz at the end of June! 5 days on the beach with my best friend is exactly what the Dr. ordered!

Green Grass

TheBoss and I were having a conversation today with another co-worker about how things have changed for us as we moved from being children into adulthood. They both have children themselves and were talking about how their kids are getting older, playing sports is becoming more serious and rough housing now has more consequences. It’s amazing how it changes isn’t it? When we were kids and you were playing and someone got knocked down they just got back up and someone apologized and the incident was over.

Now as adults if you even unintentionally offend someone sorry isn’t going to cut it. I’ve seen entire friendships go up in smoke over a miscommunication. I’ve been a participant in that scenario. And yet somewhere I learned the meaning of the word pride… And it holds me back. Makes the “I’m sorry” harder to say. Also, I avoid conflict at all costs so chances are if I think I may have hurt someone I’ll stay away rather than run the risk of having a confrontation over it.

Where did I learn that? When did I lose the innocence of a child? And can I get it back?

Anyway, the conversation quickly turned into other thing that we missed about being a kid and I thought I’d share some of mine with you:


~ I miss thinking that my mom could fix ANYTHING – Broken heart, skinned knee, favorite toy… You name it, that woman was all powerful!

~ I miss my favorite food magically appearing in the cupboards… What’s the shopping and buying thing about anyway??

~ I miss having 3 months off every summer where all I had to worry about was how to fend off boredom.

~ I miss running and playing so hard during the days that I slept the sleep of utter exhaustion at night.

~ I miss the days when I didn’t worry about my weight and had no idea what the calorie content was of toothpaste.


In that vein, here are some things that are pretty awesome about being a grown woman:


~ I am responsible for making sure the rent is paid, the bills aren’t late and that there is food on the table. At the end of the day *I* did that.

~ I chose my own friends now, as opposed to being “friends” with all the kids in my grade because it’s just what you did. And what an awesome group I have.

~ I can have a “sleep-over” any time I want. And boys can come too!

~ Wine. Also, it’s cousins Beer and Vodka.

~ My palate is no longer limited to the foods my mother likes. I love you mom but sushi is excellent! So are spicy salsas! Thai food! Cream cheese!

~ I can chose my vacation destinations. Trips to grandma’s house = OUT. Hawaii/Cabo/Vegas = IN.

Re-Connecting

I ran into an old friend from high school the other day at the bookstore down the street from my office. Well I don’t actually know if we were ever “friends” – friendly, yes. She was the best friend of a good friend of mine but the two of us never made that additional step of becoming more than friends of friends. I had lost touch with her shortly after graduation but news travels through the grapevine… You know how it was that first year or two after graduation. Following who went to school where and which high school couples had stood the test of time and which ones hadn’t.

Anyway, I purposely cut ties with everyone from high school sometime between my 21st and 22nd birthday. I just wanted to be someone else you know? And I thought I couldn’t do that as long as there were all these people around who had known the old me. Anyway, I hadn’t heard anything about this girl in a long time and then through another old high school girlfriend I stumbled on an alumni page for our class and noticed that she had registered and that she was engaged. I sent off a little congratulations e-mail and forgot about it.

Until I ran smack dab into her a few weeks back. Apparently things with the fiancée didn’t work out and she’s back living in the area trying to put her life together and figure out what she wants to do now. And like me, she’s recently been trying to get back into touch with a few of the people we used to know. So the upshot is that I’m meeting her to hang out and catch up tomorrow after work. I’m excited. She was always a girl I liked, funny, smart, independent. And yet we never were THAT close so I wonder if it will be awkward after that initial “this is what I’ve been doing for the last 9 years” conversation.

Here’s to Tiffy stepping out of her comfort zone! If all else fails we’re going to this new wine bar thing which sounds like a blast. And you know me… Gotta have the wine!

Endless Possibilities!

I love New Years. I love the endless possibilities that stretch out before me at the beginning of any new year. It reminds me of the first day of school in some ways, newly sharpened #2 pencils, blank pages in brand new spiral notebooks, a new calendar with pages and pages of open dates.

I’m one of those people that constantly is changing things, new routines, new exercise regiments, new diets, I’m going to wake up earlier, stay up later, read more, write more. I’m in a constant state of change. Blame it on my need to be good enough for everyone at all times. Blame it on the over-achiever I always was. Blame it on the OCD. Who knows really what drives people.

All I know is that the days, weeks and months of 2006 are stretching before me with endless possibilities. I learned a lot in 2005, a lot about the person I was, and the person I want to be, and the things in my life that were working and those that were hindering me from becoming a better person. I learned that I am responsible for my own happiness, and I am the one who controls how I let people treat me. It’s up to me to guide my relationships into ones that are satisfying for me as well as the other person. I learned that it’s okay for me to stand up for what I want.

I can’t wait to see what 2006 has in store for me! Among other things, I’ll be going back to school which of course means new pencils and empty notebooks. I can’t wait! But that’s not all I have to look forward to… I’m looking forward to many more nights out with my incredible girls. I’m looking forward to lazy summer weekends at the lake. I’m looking forward to helping TheBoy find the perfect house for him. I embrace the changes that event will bring and look forward to growing because I know we are strong enough. I’m looking forward to my family reunion in July, a trip to Hawaii in June, and a trip to Cabo in October. I’m looking forward to a wedding (or 2).

And it’s only January 3rd! Who knows what other wonderful things may come along!

Happy New Years!

I’m not quite sure how it happened… But somehow, through the drug induced haze and hunger pains from not eating solid foods in 4 days (thanks to TheBoy for this lovely little flu bug! Love you honey!), I’ve managed to drum up some real honest to goodness excitement for the new year. I just know 2006 is going to be an awesome* year for me. I feel like I’m finally taking charge of my life, doing things that are best for me, maybe for the first time ever! And I’ve got several super fun vacations planned or in the works so I can’t complain…

As most of you already know, I am the Queen of resolution making. I make New Year’s resolutions, Birthday resolutions, Monday morning resolutions… You name it. I think it goes along with the list fetish. There’s just something satisfying about this sort of internal ticker I have going. I love removing things from the list as I complete them, and I love the excitement and enthusiasm that goes into adding a new item.

I’m weird though. Y’all knew that. So here are my Resolutions for 2006. Because by posting them out here into cyber space it sort of makes me more accountable to all of y’all. Right? I feel like I accomplished something already!

*****

~ Continue working out with a goal of losing remaining 12 pounds and general toning, especially in arm and tummy regions!

~ Enter (and complete) a couple of 10K and/or half marathon races.

~ Stick to sensible eating plan as discussed with nutritionist – repeat over and over to self, “I have paid a lot of money for this advice… I might as well listen!”

~ Enroll in college courses at SJSU and begin slow and agonizing trek towards completing Bachelor Degree in History (Useful! Yay! Shut up!)

~ Work diligently toward paying off massive, soul-sucking consumer debt. Stick to budget. Limit frivolous purchases. Bring lunch from home.

~ Limit consumption of alcohol beverages to special occasions. Also limit drinks on special occasions to one or two.

~ Be the most Positive and Enthusiastic person I know.

~ Work on establishing regular sleep schedule as per Dr’s advice on insomnia issue. Remember this is why the *Dr* went through umpteen years of college and medical school where as *I* am probably going to be one of the oldest college juniors in my classes. She maybe knows some stuff.

~ Resist urge to cut all of hair off while it’s now in gawky growing out stage. (I know this one is frivolous but y’all? The hair? It has a mind of it’s OWN these days!)

~ Work on showing the people in my life how much I appreciate them every day. Or as often as is humanly possible without becoming an annoying sap. Remember what it feels like to be taken for granted and vow to never do that to someone else.

~ Spend more time with my mother. The woman deserves it for crying out loud! I was maybe not the easiest teenager… And I could learn a lot from her.

~ Make concentrated effort to remain in (or re-establish) contact with friends. These people know a lot about me – it would be nice if I could keep tabs on them! Distance is not really an issue y’all. Love you internet!

~ Get out and try new things. Or maybe more realistically… Two new things. Two seems like a reasonable number right? Two totally new and exciting, and also maybe scary and terrifying, but EXCITING new things. These two things are as yet unidentified… Perhaps I’ll sign up for some sort of lessons – with strangers! Or maybe I’ll travel somewhere – alone! The possibilities are endless!

*****

Okay y’all, that’s all this cowgirl wrote for 2005. I’m off to go flea dip the cat and bomb the apartment. Ah… the joys of being sick on a Friday night! I hope you all have a fun and safe New Year’s. Maybe I’ll be feeling well enough to do a bit of celebrating myself… We shall see. In the mean time, all you kids have fun!


*“Awesome like a hundred billion hotdogs, sir.” (Brownie points for anyone who gets the reference)

We will now return to your regularly scheduled host

Okay, I am now a believer that negativity and stress WILL give you the flu. And also maybe migraines. That is the only explanation I can come up with to justify why, after 10 days of headaches and 4 migraines, I should now have the flu. I mean that’s not fair is it? I think this all can be traced back to me not being the positive and enthusiastic Tiffy that everyone knows and loves and the beginning of the Tiffy who was letting stuff get to her and was being anything but positive and enthusiastic.

So, we’re just kicking the new Tiffy out the door (and hope the door does hit her on the ass on her way out) and welcoming back with open arms the old Positive and Enthusiastic and Optimistically Cheerful Tiffy.

*please join me in a warm welcome for our long lost heroine*

I don’t know what happened y’all. I don’t. I think I was just letting all the indecisions get to me. (Are we buying a house or aren’t we? Will we get engaged or won’t we? Should I open a restaurant or shouldn’t I?) And the stress! And the explanations! Yikes! But I’m better now. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? And the truth is that those decisions have been made and I can’t change them even if I wanted to, which I don’t necessarily. So it’s time to stop letting them take over my life!

Because at the end of the day? My life is not so bad. I have a wonderful group of friends that I can count on, a fantastic mother who teaches me how to be a strong woman, a boyfriend who loves me even if I am crazy, a great job and boss that I love, a roof over my head, clothes to wear (that are 2 or 3 sizes smaller than last year!), food to eat and health. Well I’m working on the health thing. But y’all know.

Bored

Do you see what happens when all of my friends leave town and TheBoy is sick so we haven't even gone out with the few people who are in town that normally aren't??? I go crazy! And maybe do every single MeMe I had saved "for a rainy day" all at once in some ginormous blog post!

Also, I have recently (within the last few hours) developed a nasty cough for which I am planning on murdering TheBoy later. Grrrr... I was really looking forward to a good long work out tonight too!

*sigh*

Well enjoy none the less. This will be added to the list of posts that are more than you ever needed to know.

*****

my name is: Tiffany

childhood ambition: to be a dancer or pop star

fondest memory: summers in Mississippi with Jim or trips to the Oregon coast with my mom

soundtrack: I have a perpetual internal soundtrack – lately it’s got a bit of Kelly Clarkson, some Antigone rising, and Faith Hill on it…

retreat: a beach, any beach – preferably warm weather

wildest dream: to open my own restaurant, to get married, to own my own home

proudest moment: finishing the SF Marathon in July – even if I had to limp across the finish line!

biggest challenge: trying to juggle everything I want to accomplish

alarm clock: annoying beep-y sound

perfect day: waking up early, coffee and stretching before a nice long run, making breakfast for TheBoy and I, something outdoors like hiking, hanging out at the beach or wheeling and then coming home to plan, prep, and cook a huge dinner for all of our friends with lots of wine and laughter

first job: Gymboree (y’all wonder why kids make me cringe?)

indulgence: shoes, food, wine

last purchase: pizza for dinner last night – it was sick boy’s request

favorite movie: Gone with the Wind

inspiration: my wonderful mom and my amazing girl friends

my life: is a little confused right now – but I’m happy

*****

5 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 21

What grade were you in? Junior year in college – is that 15? 16?

Where did you go to school? GGU – I transferred around A LOT

Where did you work?: Alain Pinel Realtors

where did you live?: A condo owned by my bosses in Mountain View

Where did you hang out?: Palo Alto mainly, some downtown San Jose

How was your hair style?: short and bob like

Did you wear braces?: nope

Did you wear glasses?: for reading

sport: dancing… also, this was the year I really got into running

Who was your best friend?: I was in mid-upheaval of my life at that point. Liz and I weren’t speaking, Angie lived in Maryland… I’d have to say it was probably Tammie – or maybe Richelle

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: I was newly single after breaking up with my highschool BF

Who was your celebrity crush?: Matt Damon

did you have more guy friends or girl?: I’d say it was pretty much 50 / 50

Who was your regular-person crush?: This realtor I vaguely knew in passing*

How many piercings did you have?: 5, 4 in ears and belly button

How many tattoos did you have?: none

what kind of music were you into?: country mainly but I loved a little bit of everything

What was your favorite band?: Hmmm… Maybe Dixie Chicks?

What was your biggest fear?: not being able to get away from my past

favorite color: green

Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: oh yes

Had you gotten drunk or high yet? yes - it was a pretty regular occurance back then

Had you driven yet?: yep

Did you have a car? Green Saturn SL1


AND NOW

How old are you?: 26

What school year are you in?: about to go back to my Junior year in college (stupid transfer rules)

Where do you go to school?: SJSU (in a few more weeks hopefully)

Where do you live?: in an apartment in Mountain View

Where do you hang out?: at home, friend’s houses and Ugly’s

How is your hair style?: long and wavy (unless I spend the hour beating it into submission)

Do you wear glasses?: for reading

Who is your best friend: Liz and Angie

Favorite Sport?: running – though l’m into the bootcamp right now also and hoping to start some triathlon training soon (if I can find the time)

Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?: TheBoy (aka: Ryan)

do you have more guy friends or girl? girl friends

Who is your celebrity crush?: Matt Damon (pregnant wife ha!)

Who is your regular-person crush?: TheBoy

How many tattoos do you have?: 1

How many piercings do you have?: still 5

what kind of music are you into: country as always, but also jazzy, bluesy stuff reminiscent of the Rat Pack and some old school hip hop

What is your favorite band?: Antigone Rising

What is your biggest fear?: not being good enough

Have you driven yet?: LOL – this must have originated with younger kids

Do you have a car now? Chevy Z24 cavalier convertable

favorite color: pink

Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: yes and quit

Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: yes though not quite as frequently now – unless there are extenuating circumstances like the holidays


*in a strange twist of fate, said crush called and asked me to drinks literally a week after I began dating TheBoy.

Holiday Weekend Recap

I am so glad the holidays are over y'all. I've tried to get into the holiday spirit - you know focusing on the good stuff I have in my life and all that - but today? Today I am mostly relieved. Whew - thank God that's over and that it doesn't come back for another 12 months!

I did enjoy reading about all of your holiday adventures though! And the holidays weren't all bad! Here's a brief recap - more to come. After all, everyone is out of town and work is slow, slow, slow this week!

1 awkward and painful (for me) dinner with TheBoy's mom and her BF on Thursday
2 friends I tried to call while crying and feeling sorry for myself with hurt feelings after dinner
0 friends that answered their phones
1 happy hour attended with co-workers on Friday (look at me being social!)
1 date with TheBoy
5 beers, 1 glass of wine, 1 Midori Sour (nostalgic purposes) and 1 Capt and Coke drank Friday night
3 hours I spent awake in the middle of the night vomiting
4 hours of sleep actually managed
2 hours late we were to my parents Saturday
2 glasses of wine drank Saturday (my parents don't drink)
3 games of SkipBo played
1 phone call to wish TheBoy's mom a Happy Birthday
1 engagement announced (more on that later)
20 minutes early we were to TheBoy's parents Sunday (we're trying!)
2 mimosas, 4 glasses of wine and 1 martini drank Sunday (TheBoy's parents do drink)
3 phone calls, 3 text messages and 30 minutes spent drunkenly posting to people on MySpace
5 games of pool
1 game of darts
2 hours a very sick and feverish TheBoy slept on the couch at his parents
12 hours spent in bed Monday morning (TheBoy was sick - I was reading)
1 trip to the Urgent Care
2+ hour wait at Urgent Care
5 minutes we actually waited before going home
1 trip to Jamba Juice
2 bottles of NyQuil purchased
2 movies watched

All in all it was a quiet weekend. I managed to drink myself into oblivion 3 out of 5 nights to dull the pain and so far we're on day 5 without a migraine! Unfortunately I think one of the medicines the Dr gave me is making me violently nauseous! I suppose it's a good weight loss plan right?

A light at the end of the tunnel

I am finally emerging from the dark and pain filled space in my brain which has provided me with 4 migraines in 10 days. After many conferences with my Dr, her nurse, the neurologist and her nurse, I have been told the following things:

- My blood pressure is too high

- I am under a lot of stress

- There may be something wrong with my eyes even though I have "better than perfect" vision*

Exciting huh? Merry Christmas to me. So I have been to the chiropractor, the aromatherapist (don't judge - I'd do anything to get rid of migraines) and the pharmacy for loads of new drugs. And I have strict orders to get my ass back to the gym and to R-E-L-A-X!

Also, I'm supposed to figure out what the source of my stress is so that I can mitigate it. Silly Drs... Of course I know what the source of my stress is! I just don't want to discuss it with them. Or anyone. I can't. And there is no mitigating it. If there were don't they think I'd be doing that? As opposed to lying in bed in a darkened room in excruciating pain for days on end?? Seriously, I'm not a masochist!

*sigh*

However, I do have a fun date night planned with TheBoy tonight which should help me over the migraine hump and on to holiday cheer and all that jazz. I'm really looking forward to it! I think dating is important whether you've been together 5 months or 5 years.

Also, I just had coffee with a friend that I don't get to see very often (at least not one on one) in which I remembered all of the wonderful things I liked about him in the first place. It was nice. We just chatted away an hour or so over coffee. Just what the Dr ordered I'd say!

So to all of you - my faithful blog friends - I say Happy Holiday of your choice. I wish you all days filled with friends and family. And wine. Because these are the things that are important. I'll be back in a few days with a recap and I can't wait to read about all of your crazy holiday antics!

Love, Tiff


*What's better than perfect? Isn't that the point of perfect? Nothing better? I'm just saying is all.

What does your name mean?

I thought this was fun. Go here and click on "general info" on the left hand side, then "name meanings" and enter your name. Let me know what you find out! I like mine... I bet my mom had no idea!!


Tiffany
Manifestation of God : Greek

You are responsible, determined and tenacious with sound judgement and the ability to inspire others making you ideal for positions of leadership. Having broad vision you are happy to accept the challenge of handling large projects which others may find too demanding. With your keen intuition and inventive mind you are always seeking answers. Fair and just you have a warm and compassionate nature which attracts many friends.

Stupid Blogger!*

Is anyone else experiencing "technical difficulties" with Blogger?? Specifically something about having no cookies or Java enabled when clearly you do?!?!

*sigh*

So I've been trying to NOT ignore the blog so much but it's taking me ages to actually get posts in!

AND my post from yesterday had a super cute photo to go with it but Blogger was having none of it! I could click to add it, it would say "done" and that it had been uploaded but... Nothing.

Apparently it's going to work today though so here you go, the lovely Miss Elly standing *next* to Santa:



I am now going to walk away from the Blogger before I drop kick my very expensive and company owned computer through the window. I'm just saying is all.


*PS - also shouldn't Blogger's spell checker recongize the word "Blogger"???

Scary Santa

I'm alive!

I'm just feeling a little under-whelmed by the holidays... But I'm working on it. TheBoy and I have holiday themed events for every night this week so Bah Humbug to me.

In the mean time I thought I'd pass on an amusing story from one of my closest girlfriends. Keep in mind that I don't have children nor do I hang around children if I can help it so I had no idea the following was even possible.

Enjoy!

*****

Elly and I discovered Chico Mall within a week of moving here. Around the middle of November, at one far end, a veeery large chair was placed inside of an area decorated like the North Pole; it had dancing elves, giant candy canes, and boxes wrapped in decorated paper with bows, stacked into a huge pyramid. Naturally, Elly was rather intrigued, so Mama went on to tell that Santa would sit in that special chair, so that kiddies could come sit in his lap and tell him what they'd like to receive on Christmas morning..... In that first trip alone, we must've gone back to look at that impressively grand chair three times!

We ended up seeing that chair in it's arctic (but vacant) resplendence on three separate occasions. Mama didn't think Santa was planning to make an appearance before Thanksgiving, but lo and behold: the Tuesday before Thanksgiving Mark, Elly & I went to go make sure that nothing had changed about that chair..... Much to our surprise, we found it filled! As we rounded the corner, Elly saw much more quickly than Mama or Daddy that it's rightful occupant had taken up residency -- so she started screaming like a banshee!!!

Prolific tears, howling, and death-grips-of-parents ensued..... Even Santa looked a little perplexed -- and we weren't any closer than 15 yards away! However, before we knew it, a teensy weensy infant of maybe 4 weeks old went ahead of us, and handled her visit like a champ. Well, Elly wasn't going to be shown up by some teensy weensy baby!! So after much praise, wiping of tears, several faltering starts, and screwing up of courage, Elly managed to sit in the chair with Santa long enough to hold a pose -- mind you not IN his lap, but NEXT to him!

Holiday Fun

You know normally Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year... But this year I'm having a hard time getting into it. I'm not sure why that is. May require some pondering... I'll let you know if I come up with anything other than I'm crazy.

And I'm feeling MUCH better today so thanks to all of you for your thoughts and kind words. Though Ryan is out sick AGAIN today - 2 days in a row! I think that's happened maybe 1 other time in all the years we've been dating. This cold thing must be really kicking his butt!

Here's a little holiday foolishness to start your Hump Day.

(you know I love these things!)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate! Mmm… It’s the only time I really LOVE chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Wrapped – totally.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White. Though, like Liz, my mom always had colored lights when I was a kid… She’s switched to white now though.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
If I’m entertaining I will but this year I’m not.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Depends. I usually do it the weekend after Thanksgving or the first weekend in December. This year I haven’t been in the mood. I put up a few things but the rest went back into their boxes and back down to the garage.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Mmm… So many choices! I’d have to say biscuts and sausage gravy for Christmas breakfast. It’s pretty much the only time I eat it!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Getting together with all of my aunts and my uncle and all the cousins at my garndparents house when they were still married and living on the Oregon coast. We’d get all bundled up and run around playing with our new toys. Or sometimes my grandpa would pack us all in the Spruce Goose (his truck) and take us all down to the beach to play in the sand and freezing cold water. Grandma would always have some sort of warm treat for us when we got back. Gosh I haven’t thought about that in years!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I’m not sure… I don’t remember ever believing in Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
I always wanted to do that! All my friends did it and I used to beg and plead with my mom every year and it was always strictly forbidden… But the last couple years since I’ve been splitting hoildays between TheBoy’s family and mine it always works out that we’re opening presents with various people for days!

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him?
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done that… I’ll have to ask my mom.

11. Snow, Love it or Dread it?
Hate it. I’m a sunshine and warmth kind of girl.

12. Can you ice skate?
Yep – though not well. I’m a little rusty I suppose, it’s been years since I’ve gone!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I love all gifts! I’m not picky, if someone took the time to buy/make/wrap something I’ll love it.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Being with my friends and family. Realizing how blessed I truly am.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
I’m not a huge desert person… Does desert wine count?

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Definitely the Annual Holdiay Cocktail Party with BestFriend Liz!

17. What tops your tree?
A star.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving?
Giving. I am an awkward gift receiver… It makes me uncomfortable!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
Baby It’s Cold Outside = Fun. O Holy Night = Beautiful.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yuck. But I have been wanting to try a candy cane martini…

Splitting Headache...

I have been known to say in the midst of a migraine (or shortly in it's aftermath) that I would love to just get a regular old headache one day. Because as those of you who suffer with migraines know... It's a journey into the black abyss and ANYTHING would be preferable to one. Red hot pokers in the eyes? Sure. Head in vise grips? No problem. I absolutely believe that a regular headache is nothing compared to a migraine.

But could someone please turn off the jack hammer in my head soon?

TheBoy has been complaining of a sort throat for the past several days and today he's actually taking a sick day (which is odd for him) because he feels so badly! And of course this morning at about 3 am I woke up with a sore throat and my friend the jack hammer. I'm telling you, this thing is invincible! No amount of pain killer can stall it! Thanks to TheBoy for sharing with me... So sweet.

Anywho, the last few days have been hectic so I apologize to my faithful readers (all 2 of you) for my lack of blogging lately. I promise to resume regular blogging scheduling shortly. In the mean time let me give you my weekend recap, starting with Friday.

1 memorial service attended
1 glass of wine at reception
0 times I gave way to the panic I was feeling in relation to attending above service
1 much needed lunch with friends after service
1 time I tried to crawl into bed in my PJ's at 6pm on Friday
1 time I got dressed back up because TheBoy demanded it
3 bars we went to on Friday night
1 holiday party that I didn't plan on attending that I actually went to
5 awkward moments at above party
2 beers at first bar
2 greyhounds at second bar
1 greyhound & 1 lemon drop at third bar
2 times we had to send back the lemon drops (once the glass was broken and the second time the bartender put salt on the rim instead of sugar)
1 vodka cranberry made by Angie who is incredibly heavy handed drank at holiday party
2 Jaeger/coke shots I took at party even though everyone knows I can not STAND Jaeger
1 really really drunk Tiffy who said all sorts of inappropriate things and apologizes profusely to anyone who may have witnessed the above spectacle
1 very very sick Tiffy on Saturday morning
1 Jack in the Box breakfast and LARGE sprite TheBoy brought me Saturday morning
6 hours spent in bed reading Saturday
1 Taco Bell dinner finally kept down at 5 pm
1 beer managed to choke down in honor of out of town guests
1 movie watched while visiting out of town guests
1 movie slept through
1 very drunk TheBoy I drove home Saturday night
5 hours spent shopping with TheBoy on Sunday for holiday/birthday gifts
1 holiday party attended Sunday night
1 Billy Bass singing fish won by TheBoy during White Elephant exchange
1 Twister game that we brought and also took home from White Elephant exchange
3 glasses of wine drank at party
0 times I said out loud what I was really thinking during party (yea me!)
1 (hypothetical) boss who was back at (theoretical) work Monday am (this was a happy thing for me)
4 times I was told what a great job I had done in his absence the last couple weeks
1 birthday party for TheBoy's step-mom attended last night
4 glasses of wine drank at dinner
1 well received desert made by yours truly for dinner
1 awkward scene between TheBoy and myself which we are ignoring today
2 times I had to be woken up and moved from where I randomly fell asleep at party
4 hours total I think I managed to sleep last night (including the hour at the party)

So to recap, that was 3 parties in 4 days plus a funeral, roughly 12 gallons of beer and wine drank and twice I was sick, once brought on by myself and once brought on by a germ-y TheBoy.

Can I go home now???

Photos!

I love my digital camera! And I love taking pictures with it! But maybe I'm not so good at actually sharing those photos...

*ahem*

Here are some pics of Christine's birthday party, which was maybe last month. Better late than never? Unfortunately none of the group shots of us in the Karaoke room came out well. But there are some cute ones of the group at dinner.

Liz and Michele


Mischa, Christine (the b-day girl) and Michael


Angie, Erik, me and Ryan


And these ones are from Liz's birthday, which was just last weekend so I'm getting better! The first ones are at the restaurant - the last few are at Ugly's.

The group


The group with me


Just the girls




Fab 5 (at Ugly's)




And last but not least... Me and the Birthday Girl!

What am I reading?

Many thanks to Cupcake, or rather to BBrub who commented on her last post, for the new "What I Am Reading" link on my sidebar!*

I'm sure you all remember when I was going to post every month about the books I've read?? Yeah. Turns out that's a lot of work! So what I'm going to try to do now is show you what I am currently reading and then, if the book truly tickles my fancy, I'll post a review of it here.

For example - I just finished The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger which I thought was FANTASTIC! I couldn't put it down! It's a little similar to the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon (which I may have mentioned I'm a fan of? no?) in that it's got that whole time travel and love through out the ages thing going on. But so, so good!

And I relaize that I am probably the last person on the planet to read Kite Runner. I swear everytime I have flown somewhere in the last 2 or 3 years I've been sitting next to someone on the plane who was reading this book! Don't ask me why it took so long for me to actually buy it and read it, but... WOW. I haven't finished it yet... But I'm close! It's fantastic y'all. Really.


*Kate - you HAVE to get this!

Ha!

You're Bettie Page!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla