Chivalry is dead? In Canada?

For our snorkeling trip out to Molokini and Turtle Town BFL and I had to get up at the obscenely early (for vacation anyway) hour of 5:30 am to toss on swim suits and cover ups and drive down to the marina for the boarding time of 6:30. The boat was a “catamaran”. I put catamaran in quotes because this thing wasn’t even equipped with sails so they were making no pretense of even remotely being able to sail. We motored out and we motored in, regardless of the heavy trade winds. But it LOOKED like a catamaran.

Because BFL and I are both somewhat anal retentive and I am a morning person we, of course, made it there plenty early and were among the first 3 or 4 groups of people to arrive. This was actually really cool because after we got ourselves all checked in, lost our shoes to the bucket (all the cruises are “barefoot” – I suspect because too many people have lost shoes overboard) and were actually ON THE BOAT, we managed to snag some pretty sweet seats at the front on a bench next to the trampolines.

Across from us was a large family of seven, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and three sons. On our bench was a newlywed couple and three of the cutest Canadian boys ever. As it was barely 7:00 in the morning there wasn’t much conversation amongst us at first as you can imagine. A few polite comments here and there, a few shared laughs at the Captain and crew’s lame jokes, that’s about it. We did learn that the boys next to us were not 21 by the grumbling complaints about not being able to drink, but over 18 because they were legal to drink in Canada (or Mexico, Europe… most of the free world really). Also that they were Canadian, figured that one out all on my own! It was early y’all – cut me some slack.

After snorkeling for a bit at Molokini we all headed back to the boat for the trip over to Turtle Town and more snorkeling. This is when the talking actually began. We learned that the boys were on their graduation trip after just finishing High School – making them JUST 18. They entertained us with stories of each other’s drunken mishaps and some of people back home. They were staying with one of the boy’s moms and they couldn’t believe she’d brought 8 PAIRS OF SHOES for a 2 week trip! I wisely kept quiet with this news as I had brought 4 pairs of shoes and purchased 1 pair there for a 6 day trip and that’s only because I didn’t bring my running shoes and I believe Liz brought 5 pairs and bought 1 pair there for a 10 day trip so… Yeah I guess men are never too young to be baffled by women’s shoe addictions!

After snorkeling at Turtle Town lunch was served and the booze service began for those of us, *ahem*, WELL OVER the legal drinking age state side thankyouverymuch. And there was more chatting with the people on our boat. One of the crew had locked himself out of his house and his roommate had moved out the day before so he was pretty worried that he wasn’t going to be able to get back in. I’m not sure why he told me that. People are just friendlier in the islands? He was cute so I didn’t mind terribly – plus he was the one handing out the booze! The newlyweds were an odd pair, husband was pretty darn cute but the wife… eh. BFL thought maybe she was an animal in the sack! You never know! She did have a pretty cute Southern accent and you KNOW what they say about us Southern girls!! ;)

After lunch we started heading back into the marina and at this point we notice that those trade winds everyone is always talking about? They are so not kidding around about those! It was crazy out there! The wind was gusting so hard and so fast hair and towels and swimsuit cover-ups were whipping around and stinging the skin and eyes. Every time we hit a wake a giant wall of water would come washing over onto the boat and drench every thing and everyone in its path. It was a rocking good time y’all! At one point they even stopped the boat to ask if any of us still sitting in the front wanted to move back… No way! Even someone’s grandma stayed up front!

I think it was around this point that one of our cute little Canadian boys left his seat on the tramp and came over to cower behind me on the bench. He actually said something like, “I’m just going to hide here behind you, can you block the wind?” Apparently chivalry in Canada is totally dead! I just laughed. His friends laughed. I told him that he was giving Canadian men a horribly bad reputation. He asked me not to hold it against them all. And then when a particularly nasty wave launched me practically into his lap it dawned on me that perhaps his anti-chivalry thing wasn’t such a bad move on his part after all!

Poor guy. I gave him a lot of crap, it was a LONG trip back to port, and well you know… I can be a bit sarcastic sometimes. And as soon as we made it into the marina his buddies started in with the giving him crap for flirting and some random kid I don’t think anyone knew joined in on the fun! At that point he finally introduced himself as Shawn (or Sean). I never did catch the other two kids’ names. Anyway, if he was flirting, I totally give him credit for trying it with a woman nearly 10 years his senior!

But really… Guys… Try the chivalry thing! Am I wrong ladies? I LOVE IT! But I am Southern so maybe it’s just a me thing?

Attack of the Turtle

One of the things BFL and I did in Maui was a snorkeling trip out to Molokini and Turtle Town.

Molokini is a big sunken volcanic crater just off Maui’s coast in between Maui and the island of Molokai. It is a bird sanctuary on the island and a marine preserve in the water so the snorkeling is phenomenal there. I’ve been once before in the winter and while we did see many, many wonderful and colorful fish on this trip I do have to say the last time in February was outstanding.

Turtle Town is really just a snorkel and dive spot just off the golf course in the Makena / Wailea, South Maui area. You can probably guess that it’s home to a lot of the giant Hawaiian Sea Turtles. When we got there almost immediately we saw two come up to the surface to breathe. In the water we only saw one. It’s a bit tricky because they do look like rocks so you’re basically swimming along thinking Rock? Turtle? Rock? Wait did that thing just move?

I’m happy to report that the Hawaiian Sea Turtles are no longer endangered. They used to be but they are making a come back and are now only protected. This is very good news. However, as our tour guide said, you still can’t touch them, ride on them, carve things into their shells or give them turtle nuggies. Nor should you want to. The last tour guide we had 4 years ago when we were there told us that they have a bacteria on their shells that can make humans very ill if we ingest it. Also, they carry all sorts of diseases. It was enough to keep this AR germaphobe away! Don’t touch the turtles – got it.

But. Four years ago? One of those, still endangered at that point (and highly diseased), turtles tried to touch me! I swear y’all. True story! I was swimming along minding my own business when I heard TheBoy make that “eh eh” noise so common to people trying to speak with a snorkel in their mouth and turned my head to see a turtle coming up for air. They are truly beautiful to look at when they are swimming. Also, I realized he was maybe coming right at me. And those suckers are faster than you think they would be. Or at least they are faster than my unwieldy ass is in too big rental flippers!

So here I am, doing the swimming equivalent of backpedaling in the water, and that peaceful turtle is just swimming on, intent on his goal. I suppose since the only reason that the turtles even bother coming to the surface is to breathe I can be a little forgiving here. I mean it’s not like he was just popping up for a look-see. But still. All I could think was “holy hell this diseased creature is going to touch me and I am going to be in TROUBLE!” Seriously. The whole way over to Turtle Town all we had heard was Don’t. Touch. The. Turtles.

Finally I just took of my mask because I was actually sucking salt water IN through the snorkel at that point and thought I was going to drown and managed to push myself far enough away so that the turtle came up for air maybe a foot and a half from my shoulder. TheBoy was busy taking pictures from underwater with our handy-dandy water proof camera* and was absolutely NO HELP to me and my dilemma. It felt like hours but I’m sure it has taken me longer to write out the story of this adventure that the whole thing lasted. Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief that I hadn’t been touched and was starting to wonder how far the bacteria, diseases and general germy-ness could travel in sea water I heard a shout from the boat behind me. “DON’T TOUCH THE TURTLE!”

I turned around and treading water with my mask in hand and in the most indignant voice I could muster I shouted back, “HE tried to touch ME!”





*Which, by the way, we STILL have not developed the film off of. Or, I do not know where the photos are. That’s the kind of tourist I am y’all.

Here today... Gone to Maui!

Pardon my blog silence for the past six days but I have been on the wonderful tropical island of Maui with BestFriend Liz. And let me tell you, this back to reality crap isn't all it's cracked up to be! When my alarm went off this morning at 7 am - which was really 4 am Maui time - I just about died.

But never fear... Coffee conquers all! And I have loads of stories and sadly few pictures to post (hopefully tonight - no promises), mountains of laundry and a TAN! Well okay fine. I have more freckles. But from a distance they LOOK almost like a TAN. So there. It's as close as I get y'all. Seriously.

Anyway, just a brief post to let you know I'm alive and well. BFL is off to Oahu (so sad really - let's feel sorry for her maybe?) and I'm home for three measly days before TheBoy and I fly to Oregon for my family reunion this weekend. Exciting. It's almost like I'm a jet-setter. Or something.

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th. I did get to see some fireworks from the window of the plane as I landed in San Francisco last night. Which means that SF does their fireworks show REALLY late because my flight got in EARLY at 11:05 pm. I'm just saying...

Texas

Our house in Texas was off of something called a Rural Route. I can’t remember the numbers now but it was always fun to say “turn right off the freeway on to Rural Route such and such.” Cibolo is a small town. I was recently asked to point it out on a map only to discover that it didn’t even warrant a dot until you got to the blown up insert map of San Antonio and surrounding areas. Even then it was just the tiniest of dots. I think when I lived there it had between 600 and 700 people. I believe now they are up 1000+. Progress y’all! It’s funny because if you look at the demographics for my hometown there is almost no one there in my age group. Mass exodus.

There really is a Volunteer Fire Department. One of the Lieutenants lived next door to us. He was divorced also and had two children that stayed with him every weekend and all summer long. Their mother lived in “the City”, which in our case meant San Antonio. His son had Down Syndrome and was in a wheel chair, one of those motorized kinds. The daughter was spoiled – I have a feeling that her brother got most of the attention and so she acted out because of it. It must have been noticeable enough for me to notice it, and remember it, as a child.

I went to J. Frank Dobie, except then it was called an Intermediate School and housed 5th and 6th grades together. When I moved to California for the 7th grade they actually wanted to put me forward a grade. That’s the difference in the Texas public school system and the California public school system. Our school had stairs but no elevator. This is significant because I got thrown from my horse once because a bird flew under his stomach and it startled him. Because I was young and foolish, and also because I fancied myself quite a good rider, I wasn’t paying attention at the time and I didn’t have my feet properly in the stirrups. As a result when Chief bolted I came out of the saddle but my one boot was stuck so I was holding on desperately to the rear of the saddle trying to get my foot out of my boot (I was riding English) before I got kicked to death. I really screwed up my ankle when it came free and I fell (but I didn’t get trampled – yay for small miracles!) and I had to have crutches for several weeks. Stairs and crutches are an awful combination.

As I’ve mentioned before, the area I grew up in was mostly military. There were / are 3 Air Force bases in the area, Lackland, Randolph and Brooks, in addition to the Army’s Fort Sam Houston. My mom was working as a civilian at Fort Sam, her best friend (who lived just down the street from us) worked at Randolph AFB. Almost ALL of my friends were military brats like me, a few were locals – small town born and raised. Some had been there for generations.

In my class we had the preacher’s daughters from two different churches, the town mechanic’s son, the grocer’s kids, the Sheriff’s daughter (she was one of my “best” friends), assorted policeman’s and fireman’s kids, the dentist’s daughter and the doctor’s son (who were “going together”) and the guy who owned the Dairy Queen’s daughter. It was truly the epitome of small town life.

Praying Mantis*

The heat makes me home sick. Granted a 100 degree afternoon here in California isn’t quite the same as a 100 degree afternoon in Texas or Mississippi once you throw in the humidity but something about it always makes me nostalgic. Maybe it’s because we don’t have truly HOT days around here too often? I think it’s the combination of a lot of things - Father’s Day, TheBoy’s and my anniversary coming up (5 years next week), the heat, all the weddings… I am so homesick right now I can hardly stand it. It’s almost a PHYSICAL feeling, an ache, something missing.

Last night TheBoy and I decided it was entirely too hot to stay in our second floor apartment another second so we wandered downtown and decided to have dinner at a relatively new Mediterranean restaurant we hadn’t yet had the chance to try. We sat outside, shared a couple of dishes, drank some wine (me) and Greek beer (him) and I told him stories of all the things I missed about living in the South…

~ The food. Comfort food. Making things from scratch… People were defined by things there. We had a neighbor who made the best peach pies in the county. It was a fact. There was a restaurant in town with homemade biscuits that were SO flaky. Chicken fried steak, crisp fried okra, collard greens, black eyed peas, cobblers made with berries and peaches picked just that morning. Jam was an art. Cornbread and sweet tea were served with just about everything. Food was about… nurturing. My memories of food from and the South somehow are separate from all issues with calorie counting and portion control and nutrition.

~ The pace. Life moved slower. I get too caught up here in rushing around and traffic and deadlines and the sheer masses of humanity that exist in the Bay Area… I need to learn to take more time. Breathe.

~ Sunday afternoons. Growing up I always went to church on Sunday. My father always went to some sort of Pentecostal Non-Denominational type church and my mom would alternate between the Southern Baptists and the Methodists (when those Baptists got too crazy for her!). I’m not going to get in to my relationship with God here because that would take a whole LOT of time but as a child I loved church. I loved getting dressed up in my Sunday dresses and going to Sunday School. I loved the stories of Jesus and the craft times and the singing. After church there would always be a big lunch, sometimes a restaurant but most often a BBQ in someone’s backyard or a picnic at a park. In Mississippi we’d head down to the river. There I would change out of my dress and run around and play and climb trees and get dirty and just generally be carefree. In the late afternoon we’d all take a nap, even the adults. Lazy Sundays in the South.

~ Feeling safe. I used to ride my bike in to town to get ice cream on Saturday mornings with my friends. At 10. We’d be gone ALL DAY. I used to walk every where, between friends houses, to the country club where the pool was, to the Circle K for a soda, out by the fire lane to explore, alone… It never occurred to me to be worried. My mother used to do the same thing. I don’t think it occurred to her either. And yet now I won’t even walk the 30 feet from my car to the door of my apartment without consciously scanning the area to see who is there and making sure I have my purse held tight and keys in hand. I even own pepper spray! I don’t know if I want kids but if I did I would want to raise them some place where they could have the same feeling of safety that I had growing up.

~ I think the rest of the things we talked about could just be lumped under “small town life”. I miss volunteer fire departments – I remember all the husbands and fathers on our street belonged to one and that I always thought one day *my* husband would be Captain. I was always one to aim for the top. I miss knowing the name of the people who owned the grocery store, the local diner, the gas station. Or I suppose, more importantly, I miss having those people know me. Know my mama. That’s one of my favorite Southern greetings, “How’s your Mama and them?” It just seems so personal. I miss County Fairs; or rather I miss it being cool to go to County Fairs. I miss dances at city hall and things of that nature, spaghetti feeds hosted by the 4H from the High School, High School football games on Friday nights. Community.

Yep – there is that ache again. I think I’ll go out and enjoy some of this heat on my lunch break. We’re due for 90 – 100 degree temps for the next several days. I’m loving it!



*In case you are wondering at the seemingly totally random title to this post… I did mention that the one thing I DON’T miss about the South is the bugs. Namely the fact that the bugs are HUGE there! But then as I was sitting there thinking about it I realized that I do miss Praying Mantis (Praying Manti?) They used to fascinate me as a child. In fact I vividly remember sitting on a parking wall outside of church in Mississippi as a child on Sunday TALKING to a Praying Mantis… I was an only child y’all. Cut me some slack.

Flood

I had no idea that trying to write something for Father’s Day would open the proverbial flood gates. But open them it has. And not just about Jim, but about home and the South and small town living and who I really am and who I want to be and… Are y’all ready for this? Because I’m not sure I am! Seriously. I’ve been writing. Some here… Some in a journal at home. I’m not sure yet which things I’ll post and which I’ll just save for me because it turns out I’m not as brave as I thought I was. I truly admire the writers out there (Laurie, Purl, Kristi – I’m looking at you – there are others) who put themselves, their whole selves, into their writing. It feels honest. I wish I had that! But sometimes I sit down and I write and pour out my thoughts and then I go back and read it and think… Crap! Am I THAT angry? Or… Maybe it just comes out a little more vulnerable than I’d like?

Last night I had TheBoy pull down my storage boxes from the garage in hopes that some of my old photo albums would be in there. I had a mind to scan and post my “Mary Lou” photo from yesterdays post. And also, I can’t bring to mind the exact details of my father’s face. I just have a fuzzy image of reddish hair, ruddy cheeks – looks not unlike my own. Growing up everyone would say to my mom, “she looks just like you!” She would always respond, “no – you should see her father.” As I get older I see more and more the similarities in my mother’s face and mine but I know I look a lot like Jim. Last night, for whatever reason, I just could not go on without seeing his face. Unfortunately, the boxes did not contain the albums I was hoping for. I’m wondering if my mother has them or if I really did throw all those photos out in a fit of anger several years ago.

But I did find a few photos. I thought I’d save them to post when I got to writing stories that fit the time frame but I keep finding myself looking at them. These were taken the weekend I graduated high school. The man in these photos is a stranger. His face is not the one I went searching for last night. By the time these pictures were taken I had not seen him in over 6 years. I have not seen him since, 9 years this month. I suppose if I squint I can see the man I called “Daddy” in these photos… His hair was redder, his face thinner, the glasses were similar, he almost always had a mustache, I don’t recall the beard. The picture at dinner is more familiar (he's the one on my left - the couple on my right in my mom and Al). You can see the emotional distance between us in the picture at Pier 39.





And just for fun… Here’s a picture of me and Al, my step-dad, from the same weekend. He’s awesome.

Daddy's Girl

I wasn’t always estranged from my father.

In fact, I used to consider myself quite the daddy’s girl. I was also a grandpa’s girl – but that’s a whole other story. I always just thought I got along better with the men in my life. Heh. My parents divorced when I was very small. I don’t remember them married, I know that when I was two I went to live with my grandparents for the summer while my mom got back on her feet after the divorce. All the details of selling the house, moving and switching jobs (she was still working for the military then) were a lot to handle with a toddler. Throw a divorce into the mix and… Well I suppose it was just easier. She said that was one of the loneliest times of her life.

Anyway, I remember my father being a part of my life when I was young. He rode a motorcycle and I had a seat on the back and a tiny helmet. We drove to my daycare / pre-school on this road that had an underpass. Small things. His apartment complex had a pool. In fact, that is a recurring theme – he and I shared a love of the water. He wore a mustache and had those 70’s style brown tinted sunglasses. Ruddy cheeks like mine.

Sometime before I started school my father relocated to Mississippi, where he remains to this day. (I know he’s still there because I did a Google search for him and found the white pages listing for him and his current wife. I’m human.) I went out to live with him in the first grade but I had been out there to visit before. I’m fuzzy on the timing… He was remarried at this time. Wife number three (my mother was number two – that’s also a whole other story), her name was Connie, and short of my mother she was my favorite of his wives. We actually got back in touch several years ago but have lost touch again.

That year in Mississippi was probably the best and worst year of my childhood. I remember feeling conflicted – though I didn’t understand that’s what I was feeling. I would be so elated to be with my daddy and yet… Somehow it wasn’t right. I missed my mom terribly but I was desperate for her to think things were great because I didn’t want to leave. I remember feeling guilty for thinking maybe I loved my dad more than my mom? How could I have thought that at so young?

I did horribly in school that year. I had my own special desk outside of the classroom because I was constantly in trouble. There was a woman across the street that had three daughters and would watch me after school but she ignored me for the most part and I was terribly jealous so I bit her daughter HARD, the one closest to my age, one day in the van on the way home from school. I drew blood. The woman spanked me and then dropped me off at the house and refused to watch me anymore. I didn’t care. I just wanted to spend time with daddy. I remember not understanding why I had to go to school and why he had to go to work. I remember resenting Connie. Until she bought me a dog. Then I remember thinking she wasn’t so bad.

Was that the year Mary Lou Retton won the gold in the Olympics? I ask because there is a picture of me in my Team USA gymnastics leotard outside of our house there in Pearl posing. Just like Mary Lou. She was my hero. I don’t even know where those pictures are anymore… I hope I just boxed them up and stored them. I have a sneaking suspicion I may have thrown them away.

After that year was over I moved back with my mom. I think she was in CA at the time. Maybe even Bay Area. I moved a lot so I’m slightly fuzzy! It might have been Oregon and then California… I’m not too sure. But anyway I was back with mom. And I sobbed the whole flight home. Uncontrollable, ugly, body racking sobs. I remember people staring. I was so sad to be leaving my daddy. And yet once I was home and the sadness had passed I realized how nice it was to be home with a parent who had discipline and home cooked meals and knew how to do laundry. Where I had a proper bed instead of a folding pallet/chair/futon thingy in the corner. My own room. But I still felt guilty… Like maybe I did really love my dad more?

I went back to see my dad every summer. Generally he would take the time off while I was there. If not all of it at least as much as he could. He would plan things for us to do. Rapids on the Reservoir was a local water park that I loved. We went to Florida. We went to the park on the river. There were always big lunches after church. Late night runs to DQ for a dip. Roller skating, fire works, and lots and lots of swimming. I definitely inherited my love of the water from him.

Every time I would leave my mom I would be filled with anticipation and excitement to go see my dad and every time I would leave to come home to my mom I would be devastated. When we moved to Texas I thought it would be better because, well, you people own a map, Texas is closer to Mississippi than California! I’d get to see daddy even more!

Somehow this is not what ended up happening…

One of those days

I actually just got shushed for making too much noise taping up boxes y’all. No I’m not kidding. I actually laughed at first because… She could possibly be serious right? This woman who has never said a word to me? But no. She seriously wanted to know if I could “do that” (ie: tape up boxes to mail out client gifts) “some other time”. I politely told her no, that I’m not in the habit of staying after hours, but that I’d be done shortly.

Some people have such nerve!

But then I had to laugh because as I was walking through the reception area not 5 minutes ago I heard her in there asking the receptionist and another girl who works on another floor to please refrain from having personal conversations at the front desk as she can hear them from her cube.

Apparently she’s just having a bad day. So I went by her desk on my way back to my cube and smiled at her. I mean really y’all. It can’t possibly be THAT bad can it?!?!

*****

TheBoy and I went up to Lake Shasta with Christine and Michael this weekend. The weather was perfect and, even though I couldn’t wakeboard because of the never-ending knee saga, much fun was had by all.

You know it’s a good sign when the tequila is half gone, the sun is still shining hot and you’ve got hours of swimming and eating and hanging out to do with friends.

I remember thinking when I was in the midst of the break-up drama with my ex how much I was going to miss going to the lake. It was our favorite thing to do and I never thought I’d meet another boy who loved it as much as I do. But I was wrong. I met a boy who quite possibly loves it MORE. And as an added bonus he doesn’t make me feel bad about myself.

*****

I’m also happy to report that I have been knee-pain free for 4 days now! Yippee! Of course I’m on super drugs at the moment. I’ve also been sworn off any kind of heeled shoe for the next two weeks but whatever! NO PAIN! No vomiting! I’m a brand new girl.

Just cross your fingers and hope this crap lasts in 8 days when I’m on my own and drug free… K?

*****

Also, it has come to my own attention that I am entirely too anal retentive. I am working on it. The last few weeks have been a complete exercise in me NOT having 100% control over a situation that normally I would have been ALL OVER. I think it’s working well. I’m not totally comfortable with it, but I haven’t killed any one so it’s a start! ;^D

In that regard, everyone out there in IIF-land, please send your prayers (or well wishes – whatever) towards my friend Angie (the Bride-to-be) and her family. Y’all are the best!

Leftward leanings

I’m giving y’all fair warning that I’m about to talk about politics. So feel free to navigate away now. But with the passing of Memorial Day recently, and the elections today it just seems that I can’t hold it in any longer. I was having a conversation recently in which I found myself in the uncomfortable position of defending myself and political views. So I’m just going to spell this out, once and for all, for the people in the back…

Just because my political views lean towards the liberal DOES NOT MEAN that I do not support the troops. This is just the most plain assinine jump from A to Z that I have ever seen. I also do not hate God or the entire Government, which are two other things I’ve been told that I must do as a Liberal.

Both of my parents served in the military. I grew up on and around military bases. My first boy / girl moments EVER involved basic training boys running laps in early morning light… God BLESS the USA y’all. Seriously though. I grew up in a SMALL town with three Air Force bases and an Army base within driving distance. During Desert Shield / Desert Storm I knew exactly what it meant when my friends mommys and daddys were gone.

So maybe it grates on my nerves just A LITTLE BIT when people tell me that because I’m a liberal and that I don’t necessarily agree with this particular war in Iraq that it means I don’t support the troops.

“They have turned criticism of the policies of Bastards in Suits into criticism of The People in Uniform Getting Shot At. This, of course, is completely wrong, as one can easily tell the difference between the Bastards in Suits and The People in Uniform Getting Shot At. One group is in Suits, and Not Getting Shot At, while another is in Uniform, and Getting Shot At.” – from Kung Fu Monkey, a newly discovered and (shockingly) now favored blog.*

I was thrilled to see all the regognition Memorial Day got among the bloggers this year. But I would just add one thing (which I also heard but not nearly enough)… Memorial Day is great, but it’s easy. You remember people who have gone and are not coming back. The Heros. The POW. The MIA. But we should also take time out to remember the ones who could be back tomorrow if we (or those Bastards in Suits) chose it.


*Post entited “Lions Led by Donkeys” – a must read if you had liberal leanings. Or if you’re at all curious about how MY mind ticks… ;^D

Sounds of Silence

Have you ever known that someone was trying to manipulate you to get something they wanted? Even though they knew it’s not something you wanted to give to them? I’m not talking about something mean or hurtful here…

Have you ever made a difficult decision, spent countless hours and days agonizing over whether or not you were making a mistake only to feel an immense sense of relief once the decision was made? Has that decision ever not been accepted by the other party involved?

What does it mean when you finally realize that you are never going to get the one thing you thought you wanted more than anything, and you can’t even bring yourself to be properly sad over it? What does it mean if you just feel sort of… tired?

Contents

I’ve been tagged! So y’all can thank Liz because the post I WAS working on was political in nature. Because THAT’S the kind of day I’m having. But I think posts on cheating, pain and politics are too much for a 24 hour window don’t you? So I’ll save the political one for another day…

(insert sigh of relief here)

And now on to the main event!

5 Items in my Fridge:
Beer
Eggs
Cheese
Smart Balance
Iced Tea

5 Items in my Closet:
More shoes than I care to mention
Purses
Luggage
The Cat Box
Angie’s Wedding Dress!

5 Items in my Car:
Yoga Mat
Sunscreen
Scarves (for tying hair back with the top down)
Sunglasses
Inverter

5 Items in my Purse:
Wallet
Digital Camera & extra batteries!
Cell Phone
Chapstick – more than one tube!
Nail file

I feel like I just totally lived up to my “boring” name!

Sheer frustration...

...is getting off the phone with 2 (presumably) highly trained medical professionals and the best they can come up with regarding the knee pain you've been experiencing for a MONTH and is keeping you up at night and limiting almost all of your physical activities is...

"Work through it"

I'm really begining to lose faith in the Medical Profession here y'all.

Drunken Introspection

It was the summer of 1996 and I was drunk. Again. In fact, it’s safe to say I spent the vast majority of that summer drunk. It was the summer of my lost innocence. The summer I learned that I was never going to be good enough for the people I’d worked so hard to please. The summer I learned that the friends I had, never really liked me in the first place. The summer of my “step-mother” not being comfortable with Jim’s frequent phone calls to the house. The summer I became too sick to hide it any longer.

We used to have these house parties. A rich friend, a large house with a pool, a pool table, parents who traveled often… Camp Horowitz – we called it. $5 would buy you a red cup and all the beer your little stomach could handle. Get there early and there were smoothies and swimming at the pool. Being the girlfriend of the host’s best friend I practically lived there all summer.

One night I remember being at a party there… Lots of people. And a guy I knew vaguely. Someone we only called by their last name. I can’t even remember it now – how sad. Anyway, I remember him coming up to me… Something about how there were so many people there and could I believe the line for the bathroom in the pool house?

I answered along the lines of yeah, huge party, I didn’t even know half the people there and didn’t he know where the bathrooms were in the main house? He appeared confused and I volunteered to show him and off we went. Keeping in mind that I was drunk and had probably been that way for hours – I realize now I had just fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

We got in to the house and I pointed him towards a bathroom. He asked me to wait. I do. I vaguely remember thinking I didn’t want to walk back to the party in the dark by myself because THAT would be unsafe. Ha. I sit down on the couch to wait. He comes out and sits down beside me. Puts his arm around me. Leans in to me and starts kissing my neck, whispering in my ear, rubbing my leg…

“Your boyfriend and I are good friends you know. We share lots of things. He wouldn’t mind”

And I don’t know how or why or in what instant but something in my drunken brain snapped and I managed to push him off me and get out of the house and back out to the party. I even accepted his half-hearted attempts to walk with me back. No hard feelings. Right. He didn’t realize. Sure.

The next morning I mentioned the incident to my boyfriend. I’m not sure what I was expecting… I was 18. I was madly in love. I was rebellious. I was naïve. He blamed me. It was my fault. I led him on. I tempted him. I wanted that to happen. Deep down I must have been attracted. It was my fault. I, I, I, I. Me. It was my fault.

And the next weekend when my boyfriend slipped away with the girl he’d admitted to having a crush on before we began dating? I looked the other way, forced a smile and took my turn for a keg stand. Because I deserved it. It was my fault.

I ran in to that girl tonight. I guess that’s where this story came from. I was craving sushi… (all your fault Laurie!) TheBoy and I went downtown to run some errands and decided to grab some dinner. And in walks a blast from the past. A girl I literally haven’t thought of in 10 years. Funny how things trigger memories.

And I realized… I’ve been blaming myself for that drunken evening for 10 years! I accepted my boyfriend’s cheating that time and every time after as penance of sorts because I thought I deserved it. But you know what? Tonight, as I sat across the table for the man I’ve spent nearly 5 years with I realized… I was wrong. I deserved better. I deserved this – a partnership, a friendship, respect. Love is so much more than just fiery feelings and lust. As TheBoy and I sat discussing our future and its merits and faults, for what seems like the umpteenth time, I realized THIS is what I deserve.

Seriousness. Blamelessness. Honesty. Love.

Unacceptable

Is it just me or have the common laws of what are acceptable conversational topics begun to be ignored by the vast majority of people? Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive? I find myself being more and more offended in the course of conversation these days either by what people have said to be, or by what I’ve heard of people saying to others.

For example:

I received an e-mail from a friend I used to work with whom I haven’t seen in several months. It followed the general how are you format… until the end when, after having told me about what’s new in her world, she wrote:

“How about you? Married yet???”*

WHY? Doesn’t she think that perhaps if I WERE newly engaged or married that I might have mentioned it among the things that are new in my life? I mean honestly people!

Also, TheBoy got told that he was “annoying” a couple weekends ago. And then “well you know you’re annoying right?” Ummm… Lack of filter anyone? Why would you say that to someone?

It brings to mind the time that two women I am friendly with (I hesitate to call them friends because we aren’t close) decided it was perfectly acceptable dinner conversation to tell me all the horrible first impressions they had of me. But its okay y’all, because they don’t feel that way now. You know.

I’m just curious; do you think that people just say these things with out thinking? Or have they been dying to get them off their chests and are hoping to feel better after having said it? Because I’ll tell you, wrong or not, it changes my perception of the speaker.

Also listed unacceptable behavior – congratulating, asking about or generally hinting to a woman about pregnancy unless you are 110% certain she’s actually in the family way. In fact if she’s not waddling, in a maternity dress, with her hand on her belly, wearing a shirt that says bun in the oven… I’d just skip it. Better safe than sorry.

~end rant~



*excessive use of question marks included.

Thoughtful

Stolen from Trouble.

I AM a contradiction. I am independent yet needy, strong yet fragile, courageous yet shy.

I WANT someone to understand me, a little piece of the world to call my own, a fulfilling life, to be proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished, for others to be proud to know me.

I HATE apathy, loud mouthed ignorance and being taken for granted.

I MISS having the entire summer off, not worrying about money, or my weight (though I honestly can’t remember a time I didn’t – I’m sure there was one), slower moving Southern lifestyles, and going to church on Sundays.

I FEAR being forgotten, being irrelevant, making a mistake, wasting time.

I HEAR cars, fingers on keyboards, inane conversations, my boss.

I WONDER if I’m in the right place in my life, if I’m making the right choices, if I should go back to school, if my parents are safe on the road, if my friends are happy, if we’re right for each other, if he’ll ever love me as much as I love him.

I REGRET the things I didn’t do much more than the things I did do, not listening more, making it more about me and less about them, not appreciating the time I had because I didn’t realize it was limited.

I AM NOT quiet or graceful.

I DANCE not nearly as often as I should… but quite a bit more than I’ll admit!

I SING in the shower, while I’m cleaning the house, while doing dishes, in the car with the radio blaring, silently to myself while I work. I have my own internal soundtrack.

I CRY at movies, at TV shows, at songs on the radio in my car… but I try to NEVER cry when I’m sad or upset or frustrated – then I generally laugh (giggle) and excuse myself to the restroom.

I AM NOT ALWAYS kind, but I’m working on it.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS a mean turkey sausage and spinach lasagna, chicken and white bean chili, or some grilled steaks with sautéed mushrooms and blue cheese mashed potatoes – I’m good with the food stuff. If I do say so myself!

I WRITE for myself, for amusement, and because it’s cheaper than therapy.

I CONFUSE the fine line between wanting to give people everything they want and also wanting them to like me for me.

I NEED sunshine, blue skies, fresh air to breathe, and space but also stress, schedules, something or someone to take care of, to be needed, wanted, desired, loved.

I SHOULD eat better, exercise more, show my friends, and loved ones how much they mean to me, go to the dentist.

I START a new day feeling optimistic and with a complete plan and to-do list for what I want to get accomplished.

I FINISH approximately 10% of what is on that list usually.

I tag Liz, Michele, Mary (Good Lord woman it's been awhile!), Shawn (you ARE on a roll after all), Kate (so you don't have to steal it) and anyone else who's in the mood...

Enjoy!

Freedom of Speech

Y'all remember the hoopla over the Dixie Chicks? How they went over to London and said onstage that they were the teensiest bit embarassed to be from the same state as old G.W.? And then there was back lash and people started burning their CDs and radio stations stopped palying their music and they got death threats and so on?

I have three words... Freedom. Of. Speech.

Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

The Piano Man

TheBoy and I went on a hot date last night y’all. That’s right. 5 years together and we had a DATE! It rocked. He took me to see Phil Vassar whom I’m pretty much in love with. I’m usually not much of a concert type but… I’ve loved Phil Vassar’s songs since before he was recording his own stuff so when I heard he was coming to a local club I mentioned to TheBoy I might like to go and… He bought tickets! Love that boy!

SO. MUCH. FUN!

The evening started off with a small hiccup… We got all dressed up in our jeans (would you expect anything less?), had a few cheap beers at home (again, this is us we’re talking about here) and drove ourselves down to the bar where the show was taking place. We even found parking right outside the door! We got inside, had our hands stamped, found our respective restrooms and met up at the bar where we both promptly came to the conclusion that this bar only takes cash. I looked at him. He looked at me. I offered up my paltry $15 and an American Express. He had a Visa. Neither of us had brought an ATM card. Are we city folk or what?

Back in the car we went, after a bit of negotiating on my part with the bouncer regarding their “strict no in and out policy”, to drive back home to get an ATM card. Once there we thought, why pay the (roughly) $12 in fees to the ATM at the club? So we made a detour to the bank to get cash, and then a run to the border because TheBoy was hungry. Apparently my ½ a turkey burger lunch leftovers weren’t a sufficient dinner for him! Finally, about an hour and a half after initially leaving for the bar, we finally were there, a shot of Jack Daniels in our bellies and a beer in hand.

Let the people watching commence.

Now y’all. Even if you do not particularly appreciate country music (!) you should consider spending an evening at your local honky-tonk sometime. The beer is cold and generally cheap, line dancing is FUN and the people watching? PRIME! And oh the stuff you will overhear! For example, this group of girls walked in at one point just as AC/DC’s Back in Black (yes they play a lot of classic rock at country bars… I think there’s a lot of cross over there) and they said “I didn’t come here to listen to Pantera!” Sheesh.

There were Daisy Duke shorty shorts, denim mini skirts and tube tops a plenty. And trust me, some of these girls had no business wearing some of this stuff! One girl had this awesome LED belt that she had programmed to read “Give me a kiss Phil” which I thought was awesome! TheBoy even thought she had changed it at one point which meant it had change on the fly technology (even cooler!) but last I saw it was still pleading for a kiss so I’m not sure. I even witnessed a pair of clear heeled shoes sort of fashioned like jellies. Y’all remember jellies? Circa the 4th grade?

I am a little hoarse today from singing all the songs at the top of my lungs, err… well, is it called singing when you’re actually yelling them at top volume? I even looked up and caught TheBoy “singing” along a few times! Not that he’d admit it if you asked I’m sure. He kept saying, “I didn’t know this was a Phil Vassar song!” We had our arms around each other’s waists singing love songs all night. It was definitely an “aaaaaaaawww!” moment. There was maybe even some hip movement that could almost be classified as (gasp) DANCING on TheBoy’s part! Shhh… Don’t tell him I told y’all that!

Best part of the night… Phil Vassar closed the show with Piano Man which is like my all time favorite song. Ever. And he just rocked it y’all. The whole crowd was singing along, waiving their beers, good times. All of a sudden TheBoy looks over at me and goes, “Holy hell I feel old.” I gave him the cocked head confused look and so he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “that girl,” with a nod to the scantily clad, and also very drunk barely 18 year olds standing to our right, “just asked her friend how come everyone seemed to know all the words to this song.”

Generation Gap?

Wednesday Lists

List 10 things you want to say to people but never will for whatever reason. Don’t say who they are. Use each person only once.*

You inspire me. To be more patient, more kind. To be healthier, stronger. To love myself more. To get out of bed in the morning. I wish you knew.

Growing up you were always the beautiful one, the talented one, the nice one. Now that we’re grown up and I see the women we’ve each become I wonder why I wasted so much time being jealous of you.

Your children are not babies. Your son is a grown boy of 8 and your daughter is a beautiful pre-teenager. Treating them like infants does not mask the fact that you are miserable or that your marriage is failing.

I wish you would show the person you are when it’s just you and me to more people so they could love you as much as I do.

I wonder sometimes how I’m going to feel when I get the call that tells me that you’re gone. I think that then I’ll allow myself to grieve for you and what could have been between us. I wonder if I’ll have regrets then. I wonder if you have them now.

You think I don’t understand the sacrifices you made for me but I do. You are my hero. You are stronger than I could ever hope to be.

I wouldn’t treat a dog the way you treated me. I’m ashamed that I let you.

Sometimes I feel like I could tell you anything and that I am the most important person on the planet. Other times I feel like you don’t care about my feelings at all. I love you anyway.

Why would you think that counting calories and excessive exercise is normal in a 9 year old? Did you think it was cute? Did you think calling me things like “sassy” would endear me to you? “Sassy” is not a compliment. I’m not 9 – I know that now.

I might have not turned out to be everything you hoped I would be. But I tried. And that was too much pressure for a teenaged girl to handle. You let me down too you know. I needed you. I needed you to stand by me and be proud of me. Not to judge me and tell me I was wrong. You were the one that wrong. Wrong about me.

*Stolen from Mystery Girl

Weekend Recap

Well apparently I wasn’t the only one feeling sentimental after saying goodbye on Friday morning because TheBoy called me on his way out of town Friday afternoon to tell me something trivial and “say goodbye again.” Aaww! So cute. He NEVER does that. Now I don’t feel quite so foolish. Not that I’d tell him that or anything! ;)

This weekend was a busy one! As I was telling Michele – I think I’m a changed girl! I was staying up late and getting up early and surviving cheerfully on relatively little sleep. I even found myself thinking on more than one occasion that there’s “plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead.” Me? Seriously y’all! I think it must be all this summer sunshine?

Anywho here’s the weekend recap…

1 pair of movie star sunglasses purchased
2 new denim skirt purchased (old ones size 10 – new ones size 4 – Yay me!)
6 new tank tops (I maybe got a tad bit carried away!)
1 new brown top to go with cute new skirt from birthday
1 sushi dinner with BestFriend Liz Friday night
4 times BFL said “we’re being very adventurous!”
1 night out with Carrie at F&A’s
1 argument I got into about the difference between marriage and long term relationships
1 time I was playing devil’s advocate and actually agreed with my opponent
4 randomly invented shots made up and drank
2 beers
1 mango flavored Rockstar tried (gross!)
2:45 am - time we FINALLY left the bar
1 trip to 7-11 for snacks
3:45 am - time I finally laid down to go to sleep
7:45 am - time my alarm went off in the morning for wine tasting with the girls
9:00 am - time I actually got up
1 awesome winery Michele is getting married at in October!
3 other wineries we visited with the girls on Saturday
12,538 times we laughed
12,537 times I looked around and realized we are SO. LOUD! but didn’t care
2 episodes (or was it 3?) watched of House at Cate’s
1 hour I Daisy-sat while Michele and Cate picked up Cate’s mom and Rocky from SFO
1 glass of wine drank with brie and strawberries with Cate’s mom
12 times (roughly) we were afraid Rocky was going to eat Daisy
1 Hot Pot dinner at 10:30 pm on Saturday with Michele, Cate and Cate’s mom
12:00 am – time I got to bed Saturday night/Sunday morning
6:00 am – time my alarm went off Sunday morning for breakfast with my mom
7:00 am – time I actually made it into the shower
8:30 am – time our breakfast reservations were
8:45 am – time I made it to the restaurant (which is 45 minutes from my house!)
1 mimosa drank at breakfast
1 hour spent grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s (hey it’s what my mom wanted to do!)
4 hours we spent just laughing and talking and catching up
1 BBQ we prepared for our family and some family friends (7 people total)
2 more glasses of wine drank
2 mimosas at dinner
1 drunk Mom and Step-Dad at BBQ (Too CUTE!)
3 times I had to order both my mom and the other mom out of the kitchen
1 super tired Tiffy driving home at 10:00 pm last night
11:30 pm – time I finally laid down in my sauna like apartment to sleep
12:00 am – time TheBoy made it home from the lake
12:15 am – time TheBoy drug out our fan from somewhere and I finally fell asleep!

Surprisingly I’m not that sleepy this morning! In fact, I feel great! I was thinking on my way in to work that Friday seemed like forever ago… Now THAT’S the sign of a great weekend don’t you think?

TGIF!

Life is funny. BestFriend Liz gets to dream about sex and I? I get to dream about food. It might be a product of the yummy and awesome cooking class that Liz and Michele took me to last night for my birthday. Don’t you love it when your birthday presents still keep coming a month later? Anyway, I totally had a dream where I was discussing with this chef why he and I would be the perfect business partners to open a restaurant.

He’s Italian. I’m southern. We have the two major food groups covered as far as I’m concerned! But what about the French you might ask? Too much butter! Sure they have good wine... But so do the Italians! We southerners have the whiskey covered so we’re all set. Mmm… pasta and deep fried goodness. Y’all that was the best damn dream I’ve had in ages! Better even than… Sex? And I wonder why I have food issues.

The girls and I are going wine tasting tomorrow. The reason we gave ourselves was to check out the site where Michele is getting married. Not that we NEED an excuse to get together and drink wine! I’m totally looking forward to it. I might even take pictures. Cause y’all know how good I am at posting pictures!*

TheBoy is off to the lake this weekend to take our boat on it’s maiden voyage of the season. I am SO JEALOUS! I can’t wait to go wake-boarding and be out on the lake! Sunshine and clear water… *sigh* And you know something silly? This morning after he packed all of his crap in the car and got ready for work he came in, said goodbye and kissed me on the cheek and left just like he does every morning. Except I was sad when he was gone. Y’all the man will be gone for 3 EFFING DAYS! This is how it’s going to be if we end up living separately… I’m just being lame. Right? Stupid boys.**



*Yes Liz I promise to post the pictures of you and the twins… This weekend! I swear! Also, I might get to the ones from Cinco de Mayo! But I don’t want to jinx myself.

**Good thing he never reads this! ;^D

Desire...

Now comes in a 4 pack!



Seriously y'all! I HAVE to find these! I get the SF Chronicle's weekly Food and Wine Newsletter via e-mail. Because I'm both too cheap and too lazy to read the entire newspaper. :)

This is what they had to say about the Three Thieves 4 packs...

WINE OF THE WEEK

2004 Three Thieves Bandit California Pinot Grigio
($10 for a 4-pack of 250-ml Tetra Paks)

Visit the winery at www.threethieves.com

Here's a truly innovative idea: wine in single-serving Tetra Pak boxes. It's a fermented juice for grownups' lunch boxes. And that's just how to use these Bandits: Slip one in your purse or jacket pocket and take it to a movie, concert, ballgame or anyplace else you'd like to have a surreptitious glass, er, box, of wine. The Pinot Grigio in the clever box is very simple but eminently drinkable, with light flavors and aromas of lemon-lime. The simplicity is probably an advantage in this format, because who wants to be searching for descriptors while slugging a Napa Valley Cabernet in a darkened movie theatre? Moreover, this white wine will go great with ballpark food, like hot dogs, sausages with peppers and onions, garlic fries and popcorn. Once again, the Three Thieves have liberated wine for the masses.

Quality of Life

I had dinner last night with a former co-worker and great friend. We worked together under the tyrant I believe I called J in this post. Mrs. Pat was my mentor, part mother figure, part girlfriend, all fun. I love her. I miss her. I’m glad we’ve managed to keep in touch in the years since I’ve left there.

Mrs. Pat has one of those families that you just are instantly jealous of. She was married to the love of her life for almost 50 years before losing him to cancer a few years ago. She has two wonderful sons who are devoted to her, best friends with each other, madly in love with their own wives and model fathers to their growing families. She has wonderful relationships with her daughters in law. She positively glows when she talks about her grandchildren.

She grew up in an era when she was able to stay home with her sons while they were young. For 12 years she was there to greet them every day after school with home made cakes and cookies. Dinner was on the table every night for her husband when he came home. It was a lifestyle she grew up with. I can respect it. I can even wistfully day dream about it before I slap my palm to my forehead and snap out of it. That’s her generation not mine.

But what it all boils down to is quality of life. Mrs. Pat’s oldest son, daughter in law and two of her beloved grandchildren recently moved to Nebraska. Not, as she jokingly mentioned, to purposely break her heart, but because they couldn’t have the lifestyle they wanted out here in Silicon Valley. Her son was looking at a 2+ hour commute every day. His daughters were barely awake when he left in the morning and already asleep when he got home at night. It was a sacrifice they made so that his wife could be home with the girls and so that they could own a home with a yard. Those things don’t seem unreasonable to me. A 2 hour commute does.

I find myself arguing with myself about those things more and more lately. How long of a commute will I tolerate to own my own home? Is a garage really necessary? For me? No. For TheBoy? Abbsolutely – or we’ll be renting a storage space of some sort… One bedroom or two? Laundry or no? Condo or house? Sadly… Most things in my price range are undesirable in one way or another. Now I’m wondering which things are less undesirable than others. Would I drive a little further for my own washing machine? For a yard? For a better neighborhood?

How do you pick and chose between the factors in your quality of life?

Tuesday Tidbits

Witnessed this morning: A woman, free-style rapping a la 8 Mile complete with head bopping and weaving and appropriate hand gestures, while walking the freeway overpass. However I did NOT see, in my intense 15 seconds of scrutiny while driving by, any evidence of a walkman or iPod leaving me to believe that this woman is perhaps truly undiscovered talent. Or just plain crazy.

One of these things is not like the others… I woke up Saturday morning feeling peaceful and happy and all was right with the world. The sun was shining in through the window, my cat and my man were sleeping peacefully beside me and the sound of children playing happily outside was floating in on the breeze…

*crickets*

Er… Come again? Did I just say that the sound of CHILDREN playing outside was making me HAPPY?!?!?! Clearly the allergy attack that followed was my body’s retribution for that momentary lapse of judgment. But really y’all it was nice to know that I am not a horrible human being deep down in there somewhere after all. The maternal instinct might exist?

Nah…

Learned this weekend: I am not as liberal as I thought. After lying about miserably with the worst allergies I can honestly remember for the better part of the weekend, I was unceremoniously ordered out of bed and into the shower by TheBoy who was intent on driving to the coast for dinner Sunday night. As we were leaving the restaurant carrying our leftovers someone approached TheBoy asking for our food. It happens – we’re used to it. And honestly, usually I give it to them. But this time I was mildly offended. And I mentioned as much to TheBoy when we got into the car. I’m fuzzy on the exact wording but it went something like “I work hard for my money and it annoys me that all that guy has to do is sit outside a restaurant and ask and essentially he gets my money for free.”

I don’t know where that bit of conservative thinking came from and I’m not sure how I feel about it but… there you have it.

A week without blogging...

Hi! Remember me?

So I’ve gone from being the one who heckles my friends to blog, to being heckled by my friends… What can I say? The only post I finished this week was so negative and whiney that I couldn’t bring myself to leave it up. It’s just been that kind of week y’all. But… I do succumb to peer pressure! And! I don’t want to give the impression that it’s OKAY to ignore your blog … Especially if you have two! *ahem* Or, you know, only post on people’s birthdays. I’m just saying…*

I did begin to write a post about the girls’ weekend at Donner Lake and the Great Flood of 2006 but then I just got… stalled? I don’t know. I’ve actually been writing quite a bit at home but… I can’t really post about that stuff here. Yet. Besides, Michele does a fantastic job of detailing the Great Flood here. With pictures no less! And y’all KNOW how bad I am with the pictures.

Also, and I promise this will be the only bitching I’ll do in this entire post (pinky swear), remember this post? Yeah well it turns out that not only were those stupid blisters infected but the whole mess of mosquito bites got infected too! Yay me! So I’ve been on the antibiotics from hell for the past 10 days. Literally. Antibiotics. From. HELL. I thought I had food poisoning on Tuesday from some bad Taco Bell? Nah… My Dr seems to think that it’s much more likely my system was just finally rejecting the antibiotics. From hell. Oh and I went BACK to the Dr… yesterday? I can’t remember for another test and they called to tell me that I STILL have the infection. Yep. But I can’t take any more of the antibiotics because… From. Hell. So yeah. Wait and see. My favorite.

And of course it FINALLY stopped raining and the sun came out and it’s warm which I’m very happy about so I don’t want to complain too loudly lest I jinx it and it forgets that it’s MAY and not JANUARY and goes back to 50 degrees and raining but… I look like a freaking leper! I can’t wear any cute skirts or summery open toed shoes… *sigh*

END BITCH SESSION

Today is my favorite “ethnic” holiday** EVER! I mean I know I’m part Irish and stuff so technically I should like St. Patty’s Day best but… I swear y’all… I don’t know if it was living so close to the border for so long or if I was maybe a mysterious dark-eyed Mexican beauty in a former life or what but I love Cinco de Mayo! Well I guess it’s a more accurate statement if I say that I love ANY holiday that allows me to eat Mexican food and drink Mexican beer and anything involving tequila! So we’re having the RF’s over for some Fajitas and the margaritas will be flowing in such a way as to make Jimmy Buffet proud. BestFriend Liz even found a piñata! Geeks – table for 2?

Okay Michele, does that get me off the hook for the weekend? ;^D



*I kid because I love you two!

**Is it PC to call it that? I apologize in advance if I’ve offended anyone!

Blogiversary

Today is my one year Blog-iversary! I’ve made commitments to JOBS that haven’t lasted this long! So to my 4 readers… thanks for coming back day after day. But who am I kidding? I’d probably be writing here even if no one was reading. Cheaper than therapy and I find myself very amusing! Heh.

Not much time for a real post today because the girls and I are heading up to Donner Lake for some much needed R&R this weekend… Am counting down the hours y’all! T-Minus 4 and counting…

I’m sure there will be stories when we return! Have a good weekend!

Happy Birthday Michele!

It's Michele's Birthday today so if there's still anyone out there reading this go on over and wish her a happy day!

And cause I did it to embarrass her brother I figure it's only fair...

Michele and Cate - I really like this picture of you guys!


And this is sadly the only picture I have of the two of us on this computer...


See you tonight darlin!

Peanut Gallery

A Thursday Funny courtesy of TheBoy…

Our lovely Prez Dubya was in Silicon Valley last week meeting with the Governator and apparently some intern or another needed some work done by TheBoy’s company. So picture two stressed out presidential aides running into TheBoy’s already very busy store and asking for their jobs to be done right now this very minute. TheBoy’s sales person comes over to where he’s working and tells him that there is a new rush job.

TheBoy: “No way. Turn around is 48 hours.”

SalesPerson: “umm… it’s for the President”

TB: (silence)

SP: “so we can have it by 5:00?”

TB: “fine”

TB: (under his breath) “What if I don’t like the President?”

Apparently TheBoy was not as quiet as he thought because the intern who was still standing at the counter piped in with:

“That’s not going to matter sir. We still need it by 5:00”

Heh.

Almost Famous

Yesterday I may have come as close as I ever will to my 5 minutes of TV related fame. Unless you count those local cable stations and their “High School Sports Focus” shows from 10 years ago. Which I don’t. TheBoy and I traveled down to Burbank with his mom and mom’s bf to be in the guest audience of the Ellen DeGeneres show.

Why you ask? Yeah. Because TheBoy’s mom is a fan, had free tickets and paid for our flight down. Also, apparently TheBoy hates his job so much he is willing to do anything to get out of going to work for a day! Now let me preface this little story by saying that I embarrass easily so I don’t know what possessed me to agree to going on this show where I might actually BE ON TV!

Seriously y’all the first birthday that TheBoy and I were dating we’d been together… Slightly less than a year. And he took me and my parents to Max’s Opera Café. All the servers at Max’s are singers. Good singers. There is a piano and they do numbers inbetween waiting on their customers. TheBoy thought it would be great to have them sing Happy Birthday to me, you know because it was my birthday and all. So when I got up to use the restroom he mentioned it to our waitress and… Let’s just say that was the most beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday I have ever heard… from UNDERNEATH the table. Where I was crying. And maybe a very attractive shade of magenta. I do NOT like to be the center of attention y’all.

“But Tiffany”, you might say, “didn’t you used to sing and dance and do musical theater?” To that question I offer only one explanation – when I am onstage and the stage lights are up and the house lights are down I. CAN. NOT. SEE. YOU. Therefore, you do not exist.

Anyway, back to yesterday’s story. I had been joking around with the girls about how going to the Ellen show was really all TheBoy’s idea when someone said that maybe it was all a ruse to get me on Jerry Springer! Needless to say on the flight down I was amusing myself with all sorts of possible titles for the Jerry Springer episode I could potentially be in store for…

“The reason I don’t want to get married is because… I’m already married!”

or

“Meet my gay lover” (TheBoy’s suggestion – not mine!)

It did help pass the time on our short flight to So Cal but I will admit I did breathe a HUGE sigh of relief when we got to the lot and all the signs did in fact say “Welcome to the Ellen DeGeneres Show”. Not that TheBoy” would EVER do that to me. And live. But you know.

Of course no sooner did I breathe THAT sigh of relief did this perky little assistant come over and pass out a questionnaire letting us know that there was a “psychic” on the show that day and asking us to write down a question. Heh. No way Jose. Of course TheBoy’s mom thought this was HYSTERICAL! I managed to throw my paper into the nearest trash bin but TheBoy got his paper turned in with his question reading “Will I marry my love?” or something close. Luckily for him (and me) it wasn’t chosen for air time!

Also, the psychic? Roseanne Barr. Freaking hysterical! She was offensive but she was offending everyone I think so it’s okay. Like equal opportunity offensiveness? Really she was SO funny. I guess she’s doing puppet musical things for kids now? That kind of strikes me as wrong… Kind of like the dad from Full House and his potty mouth stand up routine. I’m just saying…

Oh oh oh! And ladies! The other guest worth mentioning?? Angel from Buffy! That’s right – David Boreanaz. Unfortunately he is supremely boring. I mean I know he’s married to a Playboy bunny and stuff. But he went on and on (and on) about his 4 year-old’s birthday party and mud on the carpets and Power Rangers and yeah. It kind of ruined it for me. I just wanted to run up there and put my finger to his lips and be like “Ssshhhh sweetie it’s okay. Just sit there and look pretty for me. K?” But I think they frown on that.

And it might have helped if I had actually WATCHED the show once before I went to it because OH THE DANCING! Y’all have no idea! Even those of you who have seen it have no idea! Every commercial break they make the audience get up and dance. So while you at home are sitting there hearing about Pampers or feminine itch cream? The poor audience members are being subjected to dance contests! Yeah. Just thought you should know. It’s supposed to “keep the energy” or something.

All in all it was a fun day. We did get to have a fantastic dinner at Morton’s Steakhouse after the show which was truly the highlight of the day as far as I’m concerned. And I got my good deed in as I saved this woman from walking out of the bathroom with her skirt tucked in to her panties. Just call me St. Tiffy. Seriously isn’t that every woman’s worst nightmare?

Finally Friday!

Michele sent me this link for mini champagne in a can! to go with my mini boxed wines! Because she is an awesome friend and knows how happy these things make me! So cute!

“I carried a watermelon?!?!”* - Yeah yesterday was one of those days where I really wished I had a rewind button for my life just for the sole purpose of rewinding conversations so I could have them again. Not that I said anything too outlandish or crazy… Just I wish I could have the conversations over you know? I’d handle them differently. And while I’m sure the other people have long since forgotten the conversations in question I’m still obsessing. Welcome to my life. Crazy - party of 1.

I was going through my closet hunting for something to wear this morning because I haven’t done any ironing in like 3 months and the only things I have clean AND ironed are skirts (and if you’ll recall my last post you’ll know that I am leper girl and can not be seen in public in anything that shows my legs) and I came to the following conclusion. I’m a freaking soccer mom in training!!!

But I will say that I have branched out nicely from the all black I was wearing a few years ago so the situation is improving. “Pink is my signature color!”** But it’s been baby steps y’all. Perhaps my goal for my 27th year will be accessories? To wear something other than jeans every possible moment I am not at work? Or in pajamas? Maybe I’ll branch out on the skirt angle…

TheBoy and I are off to Lake Shasta this weekend in the fine, fine rainy weather to de-winterize our boat and dream of warmer sunny days when we can actually wake board! So Exciting! And actually the trip to the lake would be a lot of fun if we weren’t missing lots of fun stuff! So bummed… And really how often can you say that you were invited to not 1 but 3 birthday parties in one weekend?



*Name the movie quote? Anyone?

**I am full of the movie quotes today! 2 for 2?

Feet first?

My “hypothetical” boss at the job that I will neither confirm nor deny having is out of town. Granted he’s only been gone for 3 days and he’s back tomorrow but it’s been a particularly stressful 3 days and I find myself feeling extremely unmotivated for the rest of my life.

However, I stumbled upon this on one of my favorite blogs and it made my day. Now I just need to figure out where I can buy some!

It doesn’t help that after finally breaking the stupid weight loss plateau and losing an additional 7.5 pounds that I seem to find myself stranded firmly on another. Grrr… And I totally know why too! Remember the Big Sur backpacking trip? And the blood blisters someone got on her baby toes because she was lame and hiked in 10 year old hiking boots? Yeah. Well 4 weeks have gone by and I’ve still got them and they STILL hurt!

Last night I was discussing this with Best Friend Liz:

BFL: Um… Maybe you should pop them or something

Me: Ew… No!

BFL: No seriously. Go look it up on WebMD

Me: (yelling to TheBoy) Babe? Will you look up on WebMD and see whether I should pop the blood blisters?

TheBoy: Ew… No!

Me: (to BFL) See?

But we did look it up and they said definitely DO NOT pop a blood blister UNLESS it’s causing extreme pain (check) and appears inflamed and swollen (double check). Also, on a side note it said that they should heal themselves in a few days or sometimes up to a week. ONE WEEK! Grrr…

I won’t gross y’all out with the details but… Popping blood blisters is indeed disgusting. Especially if they are infected. Yep. Didn’t know things that are entirely internal could get infected but they can. Learn something new everyday. And no, I didn’t do it myself. First of all – ew! I had to chug down a beer, close my eyes and hug the cat to just work up the nerve to let TheBoy get near me! And second of all – what kind of girlfriend would I be if I robbed TheBoy of this fun! exciting! thing!

Good times last night at Chez Ghetto y’all!

Also? I might have mentioned before that I’m allergic to bug bites? I mean we’re ALL allergic right? I get it – that is why they itch. But I’m a little MORE allergic than the average bear. Seriously. I don’t get little red itchy bumps. I get massive red welts that burn and turn into blisters and then become black/purple scabby looking bruises. It’s very attractive. But usually not a problem. Because see… I’ve always been like this. So I carry bug spray when I know there is potential for mosquito bites. I take precautions.

But you know where I don’t expect to encounter a mosquito problem? My work place! (hypothetical of course) We have this standing water problem every year at this time. I had forgotten because, you know it’s been a year, and I swear this year is worse because we’ve had 12,741 days of rain! But yeah – I look like a freaking leaper! I counted 18 bites on my lower legs from Monday. Wonderful. Add that to the blood blisters and it’s no wonder I’m limping around the office!

*sigh*

Also, might be a leading contributor to my lack of motivation as far as the gym goes?

I can see clearly now...

I have the best friends. Generally the days surrounding my birthday include such things as darkened rooms, lots of introspection, random bouts of crying and binge drinking. And while I’ll admit I did try to submit to these things in the early days of the month, all in all I’ll have to say that this was the best birthday I’ve had in years.

And it’s all thanks to my wonderful wonderful friends! You guys rock!

For some reason I can’t upload photos right now but Liz has a bunch up on her site so those of you who want to see that the 80’s were in fact alive and well this weekend can go check them out here. I’ll try to post some of mine later tonight. We had such an awesome time.

Michele and I ran wedding related errands all day Saturday which ended up being a lot of fun! Even if I did give her a hard time about doing a bouquet toss… (I have slightly strong feelings about it… And I maybe am loud) It was still fun to hang out and I’m certainly glad she didn’t have to go alone! Although if one more person asked me when *my* wedding was going to be I was going to have to hurt someone.

Easter Sunday we ended up having an impromptu brunch at our friend Cate’s complete with adult themed egg hunt. Anything involving food is always fun! And mimosas are yummy… Apparently we hadn’t gotten off of our 80’s kick because we ended up watching Flight of the Navigator after eating. I love that movie!

All in all it was a good weekend. The sun is out today and the weather person promises it’s supposed to stay out for awhile! I feel like everything is soggy so I’m ready for a little sun! Sorry for all the haphazard posts lately. I do have several in the works based on some other topics floating around the blogosphere so stay tuned.

Birthday Weekend Recap

Can I legitimately call this a “Weekend Recap” if I’m writing it on a Thursday? I don’t know y’all. This week just somehow got away from me! I mean there was the matter of taking Monday off because… Well… I just don’t believe in getting out of bed on my birthday much less coming in to work. And then I ended up with a migraine which I successfully fended off Monday but ended up sidelined with all of Tuesday and most of Wednesday.

So yeah. Thursday. And my Birthday Weekend Recap.

Shockingly this ended up being a pretty fun birthday weekend. Despite all efforts on my part to stay home and hibernate I ended up out – and out late – every single night! Crazy! So here’s a brief weekend recap and some photos. Photos of this weekend! As in a few days ago! Look at me being all timely and stuff… Well except for the above explanation about the Weekend Recap being posted on a Thursday. Shut up.

Good Lord this post is already really long and I haven’t told y’all anything yet!

Friday night TheBoy and I had three main objectives… 1) Feed Mouse - Christine’s cat who is just too cute for words, 2) buy a bottle of tequila for TheBoy’s sister because it was her birthday on the 6th and 3) drink. I’m happy to report that we accomplished all 3! Go us! After objectives 1 & 2 were accomplished we headed over to have a Hot Pot dinner with Michele, Mary and Trevor which included mass quantities of sake and beer. (also laughter! a new job! cat vomit! good times!)





Afterwards Michele and I simultaneously bribed each other… I didn’t want to watch Jarhead alone with Ryan (total boy movie) but I had wine! She had some complicated invitations to put together and luckily for her I’m just anal retentive enough to loooove that sort of thing… It was a match made in heaven. And half naked Jake Gyllenhaal! Wahoo!

Saturday morning I got up way too early and spent the day shopping with my mom. So fun! A bonus of all this dieting and exercising is that I get to buy new clothes in smaller sizes! Wee! Fun! AND I got a totally rocking 80’s outfit for the party this weekend! Y’all know you’re jealous. Also, some super cute stuff for vacation… And silver shoes for the wedding… VERY productive day! Of course if it would ever STOP EFFING RAINING I could maybe wear some of the cute clothes I bought.

I’m just saying.

Saturday night TheBoy’s family threw an impromptu birthday party for me and TheBoy’s sister whose birthday was the 6th. I love his family. There was wine drinking. Tequila shots (courtesy of the present we brought). Pool. Dancing. Dice games. Drama. The drama, coincidentally, was not brought by the two 18 year olds present but was instead courtesy of one 40-something year old woman… Good Lord we apparently never grow out of it! And in the morning? TheBoy’s dad made breakfast! Love them! Also? There was much commenting on how wonderful I looked so… y’all know… these people clearly are my new favorites!









Sunday, after driving home and showering, we decided to head over to Carmel and listen to the bagpipes at Spanish Bay. TheBoy took me to do this on one of our first dates (oh so many many years ago…) and I just loved it. We were a little concerned about the rain. Because it has been raining for 12,438 days straight. Roughly. But it was only slightly misty! So we wandered around a few shops in Carmel where we can’t really afford to even walk in the door and drooled over the cars (him) and dogs (me). Before heading over to 17 mile drive to listen the bagpipes and drink Bloody Mary’s.









Afterwards the plan was to find a cute place to have dinner and then go to have bananas foster for desert. Maybe it was the veggies from the Bloody Marys? Or the spiced nuts they had sitting out by the fire pits while we were watching the bagpiper? Who knows but neither TheBoy nor I were very hungry… So we found this cute little Italian place in town and ordered a bottle of wine and some appetizers and that was about it.

So damn it I STILL haven’t had bananas fosters!!! Does anyone else see the injustice in this?!?!? Bananas are only like my FAVORITE desert thing ever!!! Well I suppose TheBoy’s dad DID make them for me once… But I have a feeling it’s not quite the same as in a restaurant, you know? *sigh* Maybe next year.

I apparently forgot to mention to people that I was taking my birthday off of work – though I do it every year – however in my friend’s and family’s defense the last two years my birthday has been on a weekend so I’ll let it slide… So you can imagine that Monday morning my phone started ringing at 7:45 am. Normally I’d be up and showered and made-up with at least one cup of coffee in my system and quite possibly food. As it was I was lying in bed trying to pretend it was NOT April 10th.

TheBoy’s best friend and his wife were in Capitola with their kid and family… Yeah the kid who screamed when I held him? Yeah well that was several months ago now. He’s 9 months old y’all! Time flies… Anywho. We made a pit stop at Margaritaville and would y’all believe it? The SUN CAME OUT! I swear. For like one whole afternoon there was sun. It was awesome. And did worlds of good for my birthday blues. So we ran over to the liquor store and grabbed some beers and went and sat on the beach. It was – quite possibly – the perfect birthday.

How to silence an entire room of bankers...

And also ensure I never get invited to join the lunch group again.


Perfectly nice co-worker: "Tiffany, you have a cat. Would you chose your cat over true love?"

Me (laughing): "What? Why?"

Perfectly nice co-worker: "Other co-worker's new girlfriend is allergic to his dog and wants him to get rid of it. We think he should if he's truly in love with the girl."

Me: "No way in hell. If it were true love she'd love the dog."


**crickets**

Enough Said

Another year older*




*With an appreciative nod to Kris at Not Yet a Wino - whose sidebar photo I have always loved - for the drunken inspiration.

Heh.

Your 80s Heartthrob Is

Scott Baio

Who's Your 80's Heartthrob?

Happy Birthday to... Me. :(

Your Birthdate: April 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

That weakness? SO EFFING TRUE! Now how do I quit that?!?!

So I don’t have any exciting news to report. I generally don’t handle my birthdays well so I try to hibernate through them in the hopes that, you know, if I pretend it isn’t happening… But having said that, I seem to have quite a lot of plans!

Doesn’t help that I know a lot of April babies! Tomorrow night I’m going to a birthday party for TheBoy’s sister. Should be fun. Lots of tequila… You know me! Also, my mom is taking me shopping beforehand and we’re having dinner at one of my favorite Mexican food places. All in all, not a bad day!

Tonight I plan on going to visit Christine’s kitty Mouse who is so aptly named it’s not even funny. And then I believe I’ve managed to talk TheBoy in to Hot Pot for dinner! Mmmm… Hot Pot! Any friends of Tiffy interested in a Hot Pot dinner? Sake? Fried banana? I suppose I should call you instead of issuing vague e-mail invitations through my blog huh? I’ll do that this afternoon I promise!

Also, those of you who read Liz’s blog know that we’re having an 80’s themed party for my birthday next weekend. So on the way to work this morning I heard that Screech is performing at a local comedy club!



How funny is that?!?!? And I totally have free tickets to this comedy club for my birthday but I can’t go any of the times that are free! SO. LIKE. TOTALLY. BUMMED! To the max. Y’all.

Umm… And remember the backpacking? So this is what I get for deciding to go hiking in 10 year old hiking boots… Blood blisters! On BOTH baby toes! Seriously y’all. You wouldn’t think that baby toes could ruin your day. But I’m here to tell you they can. I’ve resorted to wearing flip flops to work. Thank goodness for my understanding boss!

It stopped raining yesterday. YAY!

It’s supposed to start raining again any minute now. And continue at least until Tuesday.

(I can’t think of how to type any appropriate negative sounds… But I am NOT AMUSED.)

Okay that’s it for me guys. Drinking will commence promptly at 5:00pm hopefully will not end until the birthday is well past. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Cheers!