Monday, September 10, 2007

For Anna (finally!)

So, awhile back I got tagged. Well actually I’ve been tagged a couple times for various things and never actually got around to doing them. Don’t ask me why this time is different. Maybe I’m trying to be better, turn over a new leaf… Or maybe I’m bored. :D

The tag seemed simple, answer the question “why do you blog?” But as I sat down to write my response I found it wasn’t as easy of an answer as I had thought it would be. Originally I started this blog as a way to get some of my thoughts out and since I can type WAY faster than I can write it seemed like a natural thing. I’ve always loved to write with pages and pages of journals filled over the years.

But why blogging? Well, I read this post on the “missed connections” section of Craigslist that made me laugh out loud at work. Seriously. The author had posted the link to her blog at the end of the post and I immediately clicked on over to see what more there was. This is what I found. And I was hooked.

A few days later I started my own blog. A little over two years ago. In the interest of gaining readers quickly I gave the address to all my friends. Who one by one started their own blogs. It was fun, those first few months, telling stories and sharing bits of myself. I researched other blogs out there, started to make friends with people whose writing touched me. I felt like there was this whole other world that I belonged to and well… people liked me!

However eventually I began to feel like I had to censor myself because too many of my real life friends were reading this blog. I am an intensely private person. Private to the point that I almost never discuss my feelings, even with my closest girlfriends, and if I ever do it’s usually in retrospect. Like “oh by the way, I went through this really traumatic thing this one time but its okay I’m better.” I know it frustrates my friends (love you guys!) but I can’t change. It’s like… physically impossible for me.

But in the last couple years I’ve gone through a lot of personal growth and changes. And frankly for awhile there I went back to writing in a paper journal. So that I could get some thoughts out, because writing is therapeutic for me, and still keep my private thoughts and struggles private. This blog became boring. I lost readers because really, who comes to read a blog when there haven’t been any new posts of substance in ages?

Anyhow, I’m trying now to re-discover what it was about blogging I loved in the first place. The camaraderie of this community, the friends I met, the stories we shared with each other, the thrill of getting notification that I had a new comment, the pride in being mentioned in someone else’s writing. In short, I’m falling in love with blogging again. And given my habit of sharing exciting news only AFTER everything is worked out, boy do I have some stories for you guys!


Michele said...

Hope to be reading more blogs from you! I am still waiting for that entry we talked about.

Oh and yeah, you are pretty much a freaking clam! That can't be good for you. We do love you lots just the same. :)

Liz said...

I know the way to get her to open up, it involves large quantities of alcohol and usually ends in tears and holding her hair.

So not the most gentle approach. We love you too. Keep in mind we don't judge and are always here for you.