Friday, November 14, 2008

Under the wire

I totally was NOT going to blog today. Because when pairing down the list of a million and two things I had to do today before I left, blogging didn't really make the top 10 list of essentials. Ahem. But since I was sneaking on the computer anyway to check the weather in the Dominican (rain and thunderstorms all 11 days we're there - WTF?) I thought I would check my email real fast, and then check the blogger reader to see who had posted and... slippery slope y'all.

Anywho, on Wednesday when I was deluding myself that I was not still sick as a dog I ran some errands after work to sort of primp and pamper myself before the honeymoon. Bikini wax and pedicure are fairly standard for me if I'm going out of town. Because sandals are much cuter if I don't have scary winter/half polished toes and well the bikini wax... Well that's probably enough about that.

What I did want to tell you guys about is my new amazing spray-on airbrush tan!! Why did I not discover this before? I'll admit to a few trips to the tanning booth back when I didn't have proper respect for things like skin cells and cancer but for the last several years I have been the queen of SPF. I wear sunscreen every day, in the winter, all the time. The result of this is that a) I am skin cancer free and haven't had one of those oh-so-attractive sunburns where instead of simply peeling the skin seems to slough off in sheets like I'm molting and b) I am day-glo white.

Well not anymore baby! 30 minutes of being airbrush painted and roughly 12 hours of processing time I am now a wonderful shade of... slightly less white. What? You didn't think I'd actually tan myself into some sort of Bahama Mama did you? Come on people, no one would recognize me! I am still blonde and freckled after all. But I do feel better that now I am not so blindingly white. Though all through the process the nice woman spraying me was talking about how a lot of women get these spray tans before their honeymoons because they make your skin look firmer and you look like you magically (!) lost 1o pounds.

Well I will say the cellulite on my ass is slightly less noticeable now that I am spray tanned but as for looking 10 pounds lighter? Alas I think that is one more miracle (!) weight loss ploy that just doesn't work. But. I think the desired effect was still accomplished because instead of wearing long pants and mu mu's this entire trip I might actually strip down to my bikini, if only to show off my fancy airbrush tan. A girl has to get her money's worth after all!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

T-minus 24 hours and counting...

This time tomorrow I will be on my way home from work to meet TheBoy and my mom who is graciously driving us to the airport. I will be packed, ready and understandably both nervous (this trip is THREE long flights out there and THREE long flights home) and excited. Whee fun! This time tomorrow I will be looking forward to tropical weather, the possibility of thunderstorms, days of lounging and relaxing by the pool, awesome food and drinks and lots and lots of good quality time with my husband. Eleven whole days of relaxing and doing everything and nothing and having no timeline and... paradise.

Today, however, I am stressed out because I have two huge catering jobs at work to prep for tomorrow before I can go home. I am stressed out because I am STILL sick and in fact I swear I am getting sicker by the minute. I am stressed out because the house is not as clean as I would like it to be before I leave on vacation*, but mainly I am stressed because I know that it will not be cleaned because a) I am sick and don't feel like cleaning and b) TheBoy's niece who lives with us will be here and, well, as much as I love her she's just not the scary AR/OCD clean freak that I am. I'm stressed because we fly home on the day before Thanksgiving. THE. DAY. BEFORE. THANKSGIVING!!! What the hell was I thinking??

Of course I am not really helping the stress level by sitting here drinking tea, nursing this God-awful head cold and bitching to the internets at large. But looking at pictures of the resort we are staying at and reading reviews of fun things to do in the Dominican IS making me less stressed and more happy and excited so... I think its a wash. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone and I'll talk to you all when I get back!

*Yes I am one of THOSE people that cleans the house before going on a trip so I have a nice clean home to come back to - are you surprised?

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It figures

So with something like 72 hours to go until TheBoy and I leave for our long overdue and much anticipated honeymoon it just figures that I would wake up this morning at like 1:30 am with a fever and a burning sore throat. I have felt like crap all day and even put off my immense to-do list for today in favor of crawling back into bed and sleeping away most of the day. My body is extremely good at letting me know when I've been pushing it a little too hard and with the new job (in and of itself physically exhausting), the new work out routine and the general craziness surrounding this upcoming vacation I'm not exactly surprised I'm feeling ill. I'm more annoyed at the universe's sense of humor.

Hello Universe? Going on vacation of a lifetime in 3 days. Please knock off this flu/cold bug joke that you're running ASAP. Thanks, me.

Anyway, here is hoping that I wake up tomorrow and all of this is just a vague memory and I feel back to my normal chipper self. After all there are pedicures to get, bikini waxes to have and something must be done about the pasty white status of my skin before I have to blind all the fellow resort stayers in my bathing suit. But before any of that I am now off to work, for the second time today, with zinc tablets and EmergenC packets and loads and loads of Tylenol Flu.

Cross your fingers for me, k?

Monday, November 10, 2008

From the archives...

I'm not sure if anyone else does this but I have probably 50 "posts-in-progress" from over the years that I never quite got around to finishing. In the interest of giving you something to read while I run around frantically like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready for the honeymoon I thought I would post a couple.

This one is from May of 2007. Before TheBoy and I had what turned into the last of the knock down drag out fights over the future of our relationship, before we bought our home, before we got engaged and then married this last summer. It's been a year of changes since I wrote these words and I apologize that its incomplete... While I distinctly remember the feelings behind this post it feels fake to go back now and finish it.


I don’t know how old I was when I first read these words. I know that I didn’t even know they were song lyrics until I tried to Google the author recently. I thought it was a poem… But the sentiment haunted me. It still haunts me but now it rings true. Perhaps it was a premonition?

I have a hard time expressing my emotions sometimes. I’m not that girl you know? The one who cries to her friends all the time and wants to talk about her feelings. I’m a strict ignore it til it goes away or explodes kind of girl. This is maybe not a good thing but it works for me. Tears make me uncomfortable. Especially mine.

So I dreamed we were somewhere
And everything you said was real
And everything I said was right
That we don’t have to fear the night

I always say the wrong thing these days. I feel like I have to censor everything I say. I just want to go back to feeling carefree and easy. Back when things were easy.

Then I’m in light and I still find
That when we look around we still feel
Like were running out of time
And there is nothing left for us to try

My friend Tammie said to me the other day, after maybe too many cocktails but I know she loves me so I let it slide, that she was afraid I’d wake up one day… 6 more years down the road and regret all the time I’ve spent waiting for something that may never happen. Only then I’d be 34 and maybe a little bitter and I’d have to start over, alone, after 12 years with someone who ended up not being the one after all.

We stay together now
When all the signals say we
Should move on from here

But I don’t think its coincidence
And I don’t believe in accidents
Its time to ask ourselves
Why are we still here

Is love enough?

Come back down and we still find
That all our waking fears are around us and
Shining in our eyes
They are blinding out the skies

Why is it that I can go days, weeks and months without a single reminder of the life I’m giving up and then sometimes… I just can’t escape it.

Something still you don’t give me
Something that just won’t break
You sit there silent in your place
And try to see your face

I need something from him – something unbreakable. A commitment that goes beyond his word, a promise made in front of our friends and families, a last name. He’s my best friend. I know the fear – I’m afraid too. But if he would take my hand I would jump. We could take that leap together.

Why do we still try
When all our time is spent in
Holding on to hope

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Bitter Sweet

I'm not sure exactly what I want to say here. And I only have about 5 minutes before work to say it... I'm thrilled to see Obama elected and I'm elated that a handful of measures I was supporting went the way I wanted them (No on 4 - for example). But. Y'all. On what should be a happy celebratory morning all I can do is constantly refresh and watch the tallies of Prop 8. 52% percent in favor with 95% of precincts reporting.

I can't believe that 52% of the people I live around, work with (no scratch that all the women at my company are fabulous), people who shop at the same stores as me, ride the same public transit and walk their dogs on the same streets I go on my morning run down... I can't believe that more than half of these people are so bigoted and close-minded as to have let us approve legislation on one of the most personal moments of a couple's life. Last time I checked no one voted for or against MY marriage just because I happen to have met and fallen in love with a man.

I know that I might be alienating some readers by what I just wrote but the truth is I'm not sure I even WANT those types of people as readers. So I can't bring myself to care. I'm off to get ready for work and am praying for a miracle in that last 5% of precincts. I feel like I might vomit.

Monday, November 03, 2008


So about 6 months ago I decided I would finally, this year, participate in NaBlaPoMo. I felt I needed the incentive, the motivation, to get back into regular postings. And then I scheduled my honeymoon for the last two weeks in November and blew all those plans to hell. But, I thought I could post at least every day for the first 14 days... I was wrong.

So while I have many thoughts for posts running around my head, posts about marriage and death, about inequality and hope, I will once again NOT be posting every day for a month. But I have resolved to post more frequently. As for what "more frequently" will mean... Its anyone's guess. But thanks to all of you who still come by and visit. I do appreciate it!