Thursday, May 25, 2006


Is it just me or have the common laws of what are acceptable conversational topics begun to be ignored by the vast majority of people? Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive? I find myself being more and more offended in the course of conversation these days either by what people have said to be, or by what I’ve heard of people saying to others.

For example:

I received an e-mail from a friend I used to work with whom I haven’t seen in several months. It followed the general how are you format… until the end when, after having told me about what’s new in her world, she wrote:

“How about you? Married yet???”*

WHY? Doesn’t she think that perhaps if I WERE newly engaged or married that I might have mentioned it among the things that are new in my life? I mean honestly people!

Also, TheBoy got told that he was “annoying” a couple weekends ago. And then “well you know you’re annoying right?” Ummm… Lack of filter anyone? Why would you say that to someone?

It brings to mind the time that two women I am friendly with (I hesitate to call them friends because we aren’t close) decided it was perfectly acceptable dinner conversation to tell me all the horrible first impressions they had of me. But its okay y’all, because they don’t feel that way now. You know.

I’m just curious; do you think that people just say these things with out thinking? Or have they been dying to get them off their chests and are hoping to feel better after having said it? Because I’ll tell you, wrong or not, it changes my perception of the speaker.

Also listed unacceptable behavior – congratulating, asking about or generally hinting to a woman about pregnancy unless you are 110% certain she’s actually in the family way. In fact if she’s not waddling, in a maternity dress, with her hand on her belly, wearing a shirt that says bun in the oven… I’d just skip it. Better safe than sorry.

~end rant~

*excessive use of question marks included.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


Stolen from Trouble.

I AM a contradiction. I am independent yet needy, strong yet fragile, courageous yet shy.

I WANT someone to understand me, a little piece of the world to call my own, a fulfilling life, to be proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished, for others to be proud to know me.

I HATE apathy, loud mouthed ignorance and being taken for granted.

I MISS having the entire summer off, not worrying about money, or my weight (though I honestly can’t remember a time I didn’t – I’m sure there was one), slower moving Southern lifestyles, and going to church on Sundays.

I FEAR being forgotten, being irrelevant, making a mistake, wasting time.

I HEAR cars, fingers on keyboards, inane conversations, my boss.

I WONDER if I’m in the right place in my life, if I’m making the right choices, if I should go back to school, if my parents are safe on the road, if my friends are happy, if we’re right for each other, if he’ll ever love me as much as I love him.

I REGRET the things I didn’t do much more than the things I did do, not listening more, making it more about me and less about them, not appreciating the time I had because I didn’t realize it was limited.

I AM NOT quiet or graceful.

I DANCE not nearly as often as I should… but quite a bit more than I’ll admit!

I SING in the shower, while I’m cleaning the house, while doing dishes, in the car with the radio blaring, silently to myself while I work. I have my own internal soundtrack.

I CRY at movies, at TV shows, at songs on the radio in my car… but I try to NEVER cry when I’m sad or upset or frustrated – then I generally laugh (giggle) and excuse myself to the restroom.

I AM NOT ALWAYS kind, but I’m working on it.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS a mean turkey sausage and spinach lasagna, chicken and white bean chili, or some grilled steaks with sautéed mushrooms and blue cheese mashed potatoes – I’m good with the food stuff. If I do say so myself!

I WRITE for myself, for amusement, and because it’s cheaper than therapy.

I CONFUSE the fine line between wanting to give people everything they want and also wanting them to like me for me.

I NEED sunshine, blue skies, fresh air to breathe, and space but also stress, schedules, something or someone to take care of, to be needed, wanted, desired, loved.

I SHOULD eat better, exercise more, show my friends, and loved ones how much they mean to me, go to the dentist.

I START a new day feeling optimistic and with a complete plan and to-do list for what I want to get accomplished.

I FINISH approximately 10% of what is on that list usually.

I tag Liz, Michele, Mary (Good Lord woman it's been awhile!), Shawn (you ARE on a roll after all), Kate (so you don't have to steal it) and anyone else who's in the mood...


Monday, May 22, 2006

Freedom of Speech

Y'all remember the hoopla over the Dixie Chicks? How they went over to London and said onstage that they were the teensiest bit embarassed to be from the same state as old G.W.? And then there was back lash and people started burning their CDs and radio stations stopped palying their music and they got death threats and so on?

I have three words... Freedom. Of. Speech.

Not Ready to Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Piano Man

TheBoy and I went on a hot date last night y’all. That’s right. 5 years together and we had a DATE! It rocked. He took me to see Phil Vassar whom I’m pretty much in love with. I’m usually not much of a concert type but… I’ve loved Phil Vassar’s songs since before he was recording his own stuff so when I heard he was coming to a local club I mentioned to TheBoy I might like to go and… He bought tickets! Love that boy!


The evening started off with a small hiccup… We got all dressed up in our jeans (would you expect anything less?), had a few cheap beers at home (again, this is us we’re talking about here) and drove ourselves down to the bar where the show was taking place. We even found parking right outside the door! We got inside, had our hands stamped, found our respective restrooms and met up at the bar where we both promptly came to the conclusion that this bar only takes cash. I looked at him. He looked at me. I offered up my paltry $15 and an American Express. He had a Visa. Neither of us had brought an ATM card. Are we city folk or what?

Back in the car we went, after a bit of negotiating on my part with the bouncer regarding their “strict no in and out policy”, to drive back home to get an ATM card. Once there we thought, why pay the (roughly) $12 in fees to the ATM at the club? So we made a detour to the bank to get cash, and then a run to the border because TheBoy was hungry. Apparently my ½ a turkey burger lunch leftovers weren’t a sufficient dinner for him! Finally, about an hour and a half after initially leaving for the bar, we finally were there, a shot of Jack Daniels in our bellies and a beer in hand.

Let the people watching commence.

Now y’all. Even if you do not particularly appreciate country music (!) you should consider spending an evening at your local honky-tonk sometime. The beer is cold and generally cheap, line dancing is FUN and the people watching? PRIME! And oh the stuff you will overhear! For example, this group of girls walked in at one point just as AC/DC’s Back in Black (yes they play a lot of classic rock at country bars… I think there’s a lot of cross over there) and they said “I didn’t come here to listen to Pantera!” Sheesh.

There were Daisy Duke shorty shorts, denim mini skirts and tube tops a plenty. And trust me, some of these girls had no business wearing some of this stuff! One girl had this awesome LED belt that she had programmed to read “Give me a kiss Phil” which I thought was awesome! TheBoy even thought she had changed it at one point which meant it had change on the fly technology (even cooler!) but last I saw it was still pleading for a kiss so I’m not sure. I even witnessed a pair of clear heeled shoes sort of fashioned like jellies. Y’all remember jellies? Circa the 4th grade?

I am a little hoarse today from singing all the songs at the top of my lungs, err… well, is it called singing when you’re actually yelling them at top volume? I even looked up and caught TheBoy “singing” along a few times! Not that he’d admit it if you asked I’m sure. He kept saying, “I didn’t know this was a Phil Vassar song!” We had our arms around each other’s waists singing love songs all night. It was definitely an “aaaaaaaawww!” moment. There was maybe even some hip movement that could almost be classified as (gasp) DANCING on TheBoy’s part! Shhh… Don’t tell him I told y’all that!

Best part of the night… Phil Vassar closed the show with Piano Man which is like my all time favorite song. Ever. And he just rocked it y’all. The whole crowd was singing along, waiving their beers, good times. All of a sudden TheBoy looks over at me and goes, “Holy hell I feel old.” I gave him the cocked head confused look and so he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “that girl,” with a nod to the scantily clad, and also very drunk barely 18 year olds standing to our right, “just asked her friend how come everyone seemed to know all the words to this song.”

Generation Gap?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Wednesday Lists

List 10 things you want to say to people but never will for whatever reason. Don’t say who they are. Use each person only once.*

You inspire me. To be more patient, more kind. To be healthier, stronger. To love myself more. To get out of bed in the morning. I wish you knew.

Growing up you were always the beautiful one, the talented one, the nice one. Now that we’re grown up and I see the women we’ve each become I wonder why I wasted so much time being jealous of you.

Your children are not babies. Your son is a grown boy of 8 and your daughter is a beautiful pre-teenager. Treating them like infants does not mask the fact that you are miserable or that your marriage is failing.

I wish you would show the person you are when it’s just you and me to more people so they could love you as much as I do.

I wonder sometimes how I’m going to feel when I get the call that tells me that you’re gone. I think that then I’ll allow myself to grieve for you and what could have been between us. I wonder if I’ll have regrets then. I wonder if you have them now.

You think I don’t understand the sacrifices you made for me but I do. You are my hero. You are stronger than I could ever hope to be.

I wouldn’t treat a dog the way you treated me. I’m ashamed that I let you.

Sometimes I feel like I could tell you anything and that I am the most important person on the planet. Other times I feel like you don’t care about my feelings at all. I love you anyway.

Why would you think that counting calories and excessive exercise is normal in a 9 year old? Did you think it was cute? Did you think calling me things like “sassy” would endear me to you? “Sassy” is not a compliment. I’m not 9 – I know that now.

I might have not turned out to be everything you hoped I would be. But I tried. And that was too much pressure for a teenaged girl to handle. You let me down too you know. I needed you. I needed you to stand by me and be proud of me. Not to judge me and tell me I was wrong. You were the one that wrong. Wrong about me.

*Stolen from Mystery Girl

Monday, May 15, 2006

Weekend Recap

Well apparently I wasn’t the only one feeling sentimental after saying goodbye on Friday morning because TheBoy called me on his way out of town Friday afternoon to tell me something trivial and “say goodbye again.” Aaww! So cute. He NEVER does that. Now I don’t feel quite so foolish. Not that I’d tell him that or anything! ;)

This weekend was a busy one! As I was telling Michele – I think I’m a changed girl! I was staying up late and getting up early and surviving cheerfully on relatively little sleep. I even found myself thinking on more than one occasion that there’s “plenty of time to sleep when you’re dead.” Me? Seriously y’all! I think it must be all this summer sunshine?

Anywho here’s the weekend recap…

1 pair of movie star sunglasses purchased
2 new denim skirt purchased (old ones size 10 – new ones size 4 – Yay me!)
6 new tank tops (I maybe got a tad bit carried away!)
1 new brown top to go with cute new skirt from birthday
1 sushi dinner with BestFriend Liz Friday night
4 times BFL said “we’re being very adventurous!”
1 night out with Carrie at F&A’s
1 argument I got into about the difference between marriage and long term relationships
1 time I was playing devil’s advocate and actually agreed with my opponent
4 randomly invented shots made up and drank
2 beers
1 mango flavored Rockstar tried (gross!)
2:45 am - time we FINALLY left the bar
1 trip to 7-11 for snacks
3:45 am - time I finally laid down to go to sleep
7:45 am - time my alarm went off in the morning for wine tasting with the girls
9:00 am - time I actually got up
1 awesome winery Michele is getting married at in October!
3 other wineries we visited with the girls on Saturday
12,538 times we laughed
12,537 times I looked around and realized we are SO. LOUD! but didn’t care
2 episodes (or was it 3?) watched of House at Cate’s
1 hour I Daisy-sat while Michele and Cate picked up Cate’s mom and Rocky from SFO
1 glass of wine drank with brie and strawberries with Cate’s mom
12 times (roughly) we were afraid Rocky was going to eat Daisy
1 Hot Pot dinner at 10:30 pm on Saturday with Michele, Cate and Cate’s mom
12:00 am – time I got to bed Saturday night/Sunday morning
6:00 am – time my alarm went off Sunday morning for breakfast with my mom
7:00 am – time I actually made it into the shower
8:30 am – time our breakfast reservations were
8:45 am – time I made it to the restaurant (which is 45 minutes from my house!)
1 mimosa drank at breakfast
1 hour spent grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s (hey it’s what my mom wanted to do!)
4 hours we spent just laughing and talking and catching up
1 BBQ we prepared for our family and some family friends (7 people total)
2 more glasses of wine drank
2 mimosas at dinner
1 drunk Mom and Step-Dad at BBQ (Too CUTE!)
3 times I had to order both my mom and the other mom out of the kitchen
1 super tired Tiffy driving home at 10:00 pm last night
11:30 pm – time I finally laid down in my sauna like apartment to sleep
12:00 am – time TheBoy made it home from the lake
12:15 am – time TheBoy drug out our fan from somewhere and I finally fell asleep!

Surprisingly I’m not that sleepy this morning! In fact, I feel great! I was thinking on my way in to work that Friday seemed like forever ago… Now THAT’S the sign of a great weekend don’t you think?

Friday, May 12, 2006


Life is funny. BestFriend Liz gets to dream about sex and I? I get to dream about food. It might be a product of the yummy and awesome cooking class that Liz and Michele took me to last night for my birthday. Don’t you love it when your birthday presents still keep coming a month later? Anyway, I totally had a dream where I was discussing with this chef why he and I would be the perfect business partners to open a restaurant.

He’s Italian. I’m southern. We have the two major food groups covered as far as I’m concerned! But what about the French you might ask? Too much butter! Sure they have good wine... But so do the Italians! We southerners have the whiskey covered so we’re all set. Mmm… pasta and deep fried goodness. Y’all that was the best damn dream I’ve had in ages! Better even than… Sex? And I wonder why I have food issues.

The girls and I are going wine tasting tomorrow. The reason we gave ourselves was to check out the site where Michele is getting married. Not that we NEED an excuse to get together and drink wine! I’m totally looking forward to it. I might even take pictures. Cause y’all know how good I am at posting pictures!*

TheBoy is off to the lake this weekend to take our boat on it’s maiden voyage of the season. I am SO JEALOUS! I can’t wait to go wake-boarding and be out on the lake! Sunshine and clear water… *sigh* And you know something silly? This morning after he packed all of his crap in the car and got ready for work he came in, said goodbye and kissed me on the cheek and left just like he does every morning. Except I was sad when he was gone. Y’all the man will be gone for 3 EFFING DAYS! This is how it’s going to be if we end up living separately… I’m just being lame. Right? Stupid boys.**

*Yes Liz I promise to post the pictures of you and the twins… This weekend! I swear! Also, I might get to the ones from Cinco de Mayo! But I don’t want to jinx myself.

**Good thing he never reads this! ;^D

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Now comes in a 4 pack!

Seriously y'all! I HAVE to find these! I get the SF Chronicle's weekly Food and Wine Newsletter via e-mail. Because I'm both too cheap and too lazy to read the entire newspaper. :)

This is what they had to say about the Three Thieves 4 packs...


2004 Three Thieves Bandit California Pinot Grigio
($10 for a 4-pack of 250-ml Tetra Paks)

Visit the winery at

Here's a truly innovative idea: wine in single-serving Tetra Pak boxes. It's a fermented juice for grownups' lunch boxes. And that's just how to use these Bandits: Slip one in your purse or jacket pocket and take it to a movie, concert, ballgame or anyplace else you'd like to have a surreptitious glass, er, box, of wine. The Pinot Grigio in the clever box is very simple but eminently drinkable, with light flavors and aromas of lemon-lime. The simplicity is probably an advantage in this format, because who wants to be searching for descriptors while slugging a Napa Valley Cabernet in a darkened movie theatre? Moreover, this white wine will go great with ballpark food, like hot dogs, sausages with peppers and onions, garlic fries and popcorn. Once again, the Three Thieves have liberated wine for the masses.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Quality of Life

I had dinner last night with a former co-worker and great friend. We worked together under the tyrant I believe I called J in this post. Mrs. Pat was my mentor, part mother figure, part girlfriend, all fun. I love her. I miss her. I’m glad we’ve managed to keep in touch in the years since I’ve left there.

Mrs. Pat has one of those families that you just are instantly jealous of. She was married to the love of her life for almost 50 years before losing him to cancer a few years ago. She has two wonderful sons who are devoted to her, best friends with each other, madly in love with their own wives and model fathers to their growing families. She has wonderful relationships with her daughters in law. She positively glows when she talks about her grandchildren.

She grew up in an era when she was able to stay home with her sons while they were young. For 12 years she was there to greet them every day after school with home made cakes and cookies. Dinner was on the table every night for her husband when he came home. It was a lifestyle she grew up with. I can respect it. I can even wistfully day dream about it before I slap my palm to my forehead and snap out of it. That’s her generation not mine.

But what it all boils down to is quality of life. Mrs. Pat’s oldest son, daughter in law and two of her beloved grandchildren recently moved to Nebraska. Not, as she jokingly mentioned, to purposely break her heart, but because they couldn’t have the lifestyle they wanted out here in Silicon Valley. Her son was looking at a 2+ hour commute every day. His daughters were barely awake when he left in the morning and already asleep when he got home at night. It was a sacrifice they made so that his wife could be home with the girls and so that they could own a home with a yard. Those things don’t seem unreasonable to me. A 2 hour commute does.

I find myself arguing with myself about those things more and more lately. How long of a commute will I tolerate to own my own home? Is a garage really necessary? For me? No. For TheBoy? Abbsolutely – or we’ll be renting a storage space of some sort… One bedroom or two? Laundry or no? Condo or house? Sadly… Most things in my price range are undesirable in one way or another. Now I’m wondering which things are less undesirable than others. Would I drive a little further for my own washing machine? For a yard? For a better neighborhood?

How do you pick and chose between the factors in your quality of life?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Tuesday Tidbits

Witnessed this morning: A woman, free-style rapping a la 8 Mile complete with head bopping and weaving and appropriate hand gestures, while walking the freeway overpass. However I did NOT see, in my intense 15 seconds of scrutiny while driving by, any evidence of a walkman or iPod leaving me to believe that this woman is perhaps truly undiscovered talent. Or just plain crazy.

One of these things is not like the others… I woke up Saturday morning feeling peaceful and happy and all was right with the world. The sun was shining in through the window, my cat and my man were sleeping peacefully beside me and the sound of children playing happily outside was floating in on the breeze…


Er… Come again? Did I just say that the sound of CHILDREN playing outside was making me HAPPY?!?!?! Clearly the allergy attack that followed was my body’s retribution for that momentary lapse of judgment. But really y’all it was nice to know that I am not a horrible human being deep down in there somewhere after all. The maternal instinct might exist?


Learned this weekend: I am not as liberal as I thought. After lying about miserably with the worst allergies I can honestly remember for the better part of the weekend, I was unceremoniously ordered out of bed and into the shower by TheBoy who was intent on driving to the coast for dinner Sunday night. As we were leaving the restaurant carrying our leftovers someone approached TheBoy asking for our food. It happens – we’re used to it. And honestly, usually I give it to them. But this time I was mildly offended. And I mentioned as much to TheBoy when we got into the car. I’m fuzzy on the exact wording but it went something like “I work hard for my money and it annoys me that all that guy has to do is sit outside a restaurant and ask and essentially he gets my money for free.”

I don’t know where that bit of conservative thinking came from and I’m not sure how I feel about it but… there you have it.

Friday, May 05, 2006

A week without blogging...

Hi! Remember me?

So I’ve gone from being the one who heckles my friends to blog, to being heckled by my friends… What can I say? The only post I finished this week was so negative and whiney that I couldn’t bring myself to leave it up. It’s just been that kind of week y’all. But… I do succumb to peer pressure! And! I don’t want to give the impression that it’s OKAY to ignore your blog … Especially if you have two! *ahem* Or, you know, only post on people’s birthdays. I’m just saying…*

I did begin to write a post about the girls’ weekend at Donner Lake and the Great Flood of 2006 but then I just got… stalled? I don’t know. I’ve actually been writing quite a bit at home but… I can’t really post about that stuff here. Yet. Besides, Michele does a fantastic job of detailing the Great Flood here. With pictures no less! And y’all KNOW how bad I am with the pictures.

Also, and I promise this will be the only bitching I’ll do in this entire post (pinky swear), remember this post? Yeah well it turns out that not only were those stupid blisters infected but the whole mess of mosquito bites got infected too! Yay me! So I’ve been on the antibiotics from hell for the past 10 days. Literally. Antibiotics. From. HELL. I thought I had food poisoning on Tuesday from some bad Taco Bell? Nah… My Dr seems to think that it’s much more likely my system was just finally rejecting the antibiotics. From hell. Oh and I went BACK to the Dr… yesterday? I can’t remember for another test and they called to tell me that I STILL have the infection. Yep. But I can’t take any more of the antibiotics because… From. Hell. So yeah. Wait and see. My favorite.

And of course it FINALLY stopped raining and the sun came out and it’s warm which I’m very happy about so I don’t want to complain too loudly lest I jinx it and it forgets that it’s MAY and not JANUARY and goes back to 50 degrees and raining but… I look like a freaking leper! I can’t wear any cute skirts or summery open toed shoes… *sigh*


Today is my favorite “ethnic” holiday** EVER! I mean I know I’m part Irish and stuff so technically I should like St. Patty’s Day best but… I swear y’all… I don’t know if it was living so close to the border for so long or if I was maybe a mysterious dark-eyed Mexican beauty in a former life or what but I love Cinco de Mayo! Well I guess it’s a more accurate statement if I say that I love ANY holiday that allows me to eat Mexican food and drink Mexican beer and anything involving tequila! So we’re having the RF’s over for some Fajitas and the margaritas will be flowing in such a way as to make Jimmy Buffet proud. BestFriend Liz even found a piñata! Geeks – table for 2?

Okay Michele, does that get me off the hook for the weekend? ;^D

*I kid because I love you two!

**Is it PC to call it that? I apologize in advance if I’ve offended anyone!