Monday, April 20, 2009

On My Mind

It will come as no surprise to you, my loving audience (all three of you), that I've been keeping a few things that are going on in the land of Tiffy a secret lately. I do this not because I am controlling and mean and like to do things by myself, which is the reigning popular opinion, but because my life doesn't happen in a bubble and things that are affecting me are naturally affecting other people as well. So I keep mum on some stuff since I never know WHO is reading this particular little page and I don't like to air other people's laundry for them. However, since the one of the "secret" worries has now been brought fully to the table and all parties are aware of of the issues I think its safe for me to share.

But first, the back story... You all know that I left an almost 10 year career in real estate late last year and decided to pursue a long-time passion of mine for catering. It has been great. Exhausting, but great. Oh, and the money is truly, truly appalling. But I love it and the bank is not foreclosing on the house (yet) so I figure I can enjoy it. So, right around the beginning of the year my boss, the owner of the company I work for (there are only 6 people total) came to me with some concerns on growing business and the economy and making the company profitable and so on. It was a eye-opening, slightly scary, but mainly productive meeting with the end decision that we were going to remain open for business and the necessary permits were renewed for another year. Fine.

Fast forward a month or two to me, looking for some paperwork and forms on the company computer and stumbling across a copy of my boss resume, her recently updated resume, along with some cover letters to companies dated AFTER our little meeting. Naturally I couldn't just confront her and ask why the heck she was sending out resumes and trying to find a job when I thought we had a plan but... it made me nervous. What would happen if she got another job? Where would my role be in the company and would there even still BE a company? So I did the only thing I could think of, I updated my own resume and started to quietly let the word out that I might be looking for some work.

Today my boss and I finally had the long overdue chat about the future of our business, the company and our own individual options. And even though none of the options are great (and some are just downright impossible and/or silly) at least I feel better that we are on the same page and there are no secret agendas. I hate feeling like I have to keep something from someone and I HATE feeling like I'm sneaking around behind my boss' back looking for work on the sly. So I feel better. Even though the news wasn't good news, I feel better knowing it than I did guessing at it. Does that make sense?

Anyway, looks like there might be yet another change coming on the work front for me. Keep your fingers crossed y'all and send good thoughts and positive vibes my way. I have a feeling I'll need all I can get.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Friday Randomness

~ So Mendocino was awesome. We stayed at this really great little B & B and the innkeepers were super accommodating and the breakfasts were fantastic! All the week before I had been watching the weather because a) I wasn't sure exactly I had gotten talked into going to the coast for my birthday when I specifically requested to go someplace warm and b) it always rains on my birthday. Always. True to form the forecast for last weekend was rain Friday and Sunday and general overcastness (totally a word) on Saturday. Y'all, that was the forecast the DAY WE LEFT. Just to prove that those weather people have no idea what they are talking about (an entire industry where you get to keep your job when you are dead wrong!) it was "unseasonably warm" and sunny the whole trip, including my birthday! Woot!

I have loads of stories about Mendocino (and pictures!) but those will have to wait until a day when I can keep a coherent thought in my head and form the words I want to use. You know, a day that isn't today. But stay tuned! Also, turning 30 was both worse and better than I expected. But I survived and no one was harmed so I won't complain too much.

~ In the interest of breaking out of my mascara and chapstick make-up routine (highlighted with blush and brown eyeshadow for special occasions of course), a couple weeks ago I went to the drugstore in search of a new look. Perhaps I should preface this next story with the caveat that I am notoriously bad at make-up. I tried y'all, I TRIED! But its just not for me (and in fact provided me with the name of this here blog!) with all the blending and shading and so on. But! I was on a mission! So I went in and picked out a couple of those eyeshadow kits that come like 3 or 4 colors to a tray and have a helpful diagram on them to show you which colors go where... you know the ones yes? I figured even I could handle that!

So fast forward to last weekend in Mendocino... We were at this pub (more on that later) and a woman complimented me on my make-up! That have NEVER happened in the history of me wearing make-up and I was SO proud. Look at me! Grown up! But then, being me, I was telling her the story about the mascara and the chapstick and the ready make eyeshadow kits with diagrams and so on and she looked me straight in the eye and with what appeared to be genuine excitement said, "its like paint by numbers!"

Paint by numbers make-up. Indeed.

~ So I have discovered that my cat HATES when I do not wear pants. I just now put it together and with that whole hindsight thing I can really see that the absence of pants is really offensive to my poor pet. Let me explain. Every now and then my normally sweet and even tempered kitty will turn into psycho stalker attack kitty and randomly try to bite my legs. He even uses that special meow normally reserved for trips to the vet and that one time I stepped on his tail (which I STILL feel guilty about). You cat owners out there know the one. And for YEARS TheBoy and I have wondered about this sort of bipolar tendency. The other day, as I was fending off yet another attack from psycho kitty with the closest object at hand (a water bottle) and backing slowly into a room with a door so I could lock out the demon feline, much to TheBoy's amusement (seriously? he was LAUGHING at me! I was in danger of being shredded any second and he was LAUGHING!) I blurted out "WHY does he only attack my legs when I am not wearing pants?!?!!?"

And then I started thinking... Why DOES he only attack me when I am not wearing pants? So yesterday morning I tested the theory. I had just woken up and was wandering into the kitchen to get some water before starting my morning routine when I heard that unmistakable yowling, satanic meow coming from behind me. I grabbed the closest thing I could find (magazine) and started backing slowly away from the cat, into the bedroom with the idea of locking the cat out until he could be nicer when I thought hm... I wonder. So I backed myself into the master bathroom but grabbed a pair of jeans on my way. When I emerged from the bathroom WITH PANTS the demon kitty was gone and my loving spoiled-as-hell pet had returned for his morning snuggle.

What. The. Heck?!!?!?

~ I have lost 3 pounds. There is no story to that I just thought I'd share. So, you know, you guys could high five me or something.

~ Oh! In a strange twist of fate you will NEVER guess what TheBoy got me for my birthday... A bicycle! AND I even rode it a few miles the other day without killing myself or running into any cars (scaring the bejeezus out of the driver AND me). It was exhilarating and terrifying but I think I might get the hang of it! SO I am now moving numbers 4 and 5 from my "30 before 30"list (below) from the "no chance in hell" section to the "still could happen" section. The bike gift was a little surprising in that we had talked about getting me a bike for years because I hated the one we have on loan from a friend of TheBoy's mom (do I call him her boyfriend? Is boyfriend still the correct term when you are in your 60's?) but we had never actually decided to do it. Maybe TheBoy has become a secret follower of the blog? (if so, hi honey!) Either way I am thrilled!

And thanks for all the awesome comments on that post BTW. I will certainly let you all know when I undertake any of the items you expressed interest in because isn't it always more fun to do things with friends? :D

~ Facebook is a funny thing isn't it? I am actually "friends" with my yoga studio on FB. Not the owners or the teachers but with the actual studio. It has its own page! AND more friends than me! Actually come to think of it, I think it has more friends than there are students because if FB was any indication the classes would be WAY more crowded. But anyway, I digress. The fun part about being friends with my yoga studio is that they post these really awesome, inspirational updates daily. Being a beginner to the whole "enlightenment" thing and to Eastern religions in general I love to get these daily doses of wisdom.

A couple days ago though the post was "nothing can be true if it is also harmful." For some reason that stuck with me all day after reading it. Again, being a beginner, I had questions! So I talked to one of my favorite instructors at my last class and asked her if she had seen the post and I admitted to having questions as to this statement. Because it is true AND harmful that a little girl was raped and murdered by the granddaughter of a well respected pastor not 30 miles from here. It is true AND harmful that an old friend of mine lost his battle with cancer at far, far too young an age. So how can I buy into this saying?? The teacher, being patient and also kind, reminded me that those posts are meant to be considered more globally than locally. She gave the example of terrorism saying that terrorists who believe that violence is an acceptable means to their end, universally it can't be true because how can something be true individually which is also harmful to the world as a whole? I am not sure I get the finer points but it is something to think on.

Oh and today's little enlightenment tidbit courtesy of FB?

"Shifting and giving in are not the same thing. Shifting your viewpoint requires strength; giving in comes from fear."

I am loving shifting my viewpoint y'all. Have a good weekend! I know I will.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

In Seclusion

I love how in earlier times when people needed to get away they just went into seclusion. Why is this not still an acceptable thing to do? Is it because there are too many people now and true seclusion is sort of impossible? Because I could totally use a little "hiding from the world" time right about now.

Tiffany is in seclusion until the birthday has passed.

And I know that I am annoying every single one of my friends who already passed the 3-0 milestone but... all I can say is... I HAD NO IDEA! I'm just not ready to be 30, you know? And I'm not ready for lots of reasons other than the fact that I just don't FEEL 30 like, remember this?

Yeah. So let's first see which ones I actually accomplished.

1) Get another tattoo (much to my mother's chagrin and my delight, already planning #3)

6) Buy a house (done and done, for better or worse, I am now a home owner)

12) Volunteer for an organization I believe in (that would be this one)

23) Take more culinary classes

27) Go to the driving range (I can't recall why this was such a burning desire back then...)

30) Work on a political campaign
(yay for my guy winning!)

Hmmm... I guess 5 out of 30 isn't terrible. It certainly isn't GOOD mind you. But better than 0, right? Let's see the ones that are "in progress" so to speak.

7) Pay off soul-sucking debt (oh debt, how you haunt me)

8) Decide what I want to be when I grow up - something that inspires me
(am learning that there is a difference between WHO I want to be and WHAT I want to do, also learning that those things are not necessarily compatible)

13) Get a dog (we had a dog for like 3 days... am working on it still, some day)

21) Travel to Italy (woo hoo, Italy AND Spain!)

Okay and now for the ones that I can be honest with myself about and know I will probably never do. It must be part of that whole growing older thing... I no longer feel the need to delude myself into thinking I am something I am not.

4) Learn to ride a bike (it just isn't in the cards kiddos)

5) Train for and complete a triathlon (see #4, above, its sort of a main part of the "tri")

9) Move out of the Bay Area (so long as our parents are here I have this sinking feeling TheBoy and I will be staying put, though we are about as far out from the Bay Area as I could get us)

11) Finish college
(just no)

14) Learn to play tennis
(see #4, above)

15) Finally learn to line dance
(I think my skills are as good as they're going to get)

16) Take salsa dancing lessons
(see #4, above)

29) Swim with dolphins (OMG y'all! SO! FREAKING! EXPENSIVE!!)

So that leaves these things, which I still want to do and think I COULD do but haven't gotten around to doing yet. Maybe I'll put them on the 40 list. Maybe. Or maybe I won't make a 40 list. Who knows!

2) Hike Half Dome in Yosemite

3) Run another half marathon

10) See a Broadway show - on Broadway

17) Travel alone

18) Take my mom on a trip somewhere - just the two of us

19) See the Grand Canyon

20) Go white water rafting

22) Go to Oktoberfest in Germany

24) Drive up the West Coast

25) Plan a trip away with my girls

26) See Burney Falls

28) Go back to visit Texas