Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Running on empty, running blind*

~Today is a good day. I woke up this morning feeling more like "me" than I have in ages, maybe even years. I try not to ask to many questions when the good days come but just let myself go and enjoy them but this time I can't help but note the coincidence (or not) that I got to spend some quality time with some great friends and their two adorable kids last night. There is something about the way a two (and a half!) year old snuggles into your lap and then leans in for a kiss that melts your heart. And that new baby smell? Amazing! I may not want kids for myself but man if I don't love borrowing them for a bit. Instant peace of mind.

~Yesterday I got up, got dressed for work, had breakfast and drove all the way into my office (a good hour and a half drive), parked in the garage, walked in and sat down at my desk... only to realize that I had left my laptop at home! Y'all I almost pitched a full on hissy fit right there at my desk... You can imagine all the not-appropriate-for-work words that were running through my head. But! It all turned out okay in the end since I ended up working from home again yesterday I got to see Angie and family on their way into to town for the week. Silver lining? Making lemonade out of lemons? Maybe. I did make lemonade though... :D

~The funny thing about opening yourself up to learning things about life from your day to day experiences is that you tend to pay more attention to what is going on around you. On Sunday I was sitting in my favorite low-key sports bar in my hometown trying to convince one of the bartenders to put the Oscars on (no cable remember?). Eventually I wore him down but in the meantime I was watching the Celtics basketball game (desperate times - I do NOT love basketball) and trying not to look like I was obviously eavesdropping on the group of guys sitting a few bar stools down. Turns out that after a few beers boys are just as bad as girls at disecting their past relationships and giving each other advice on the opposite sex. It was HILARIOUS, yet informative! I only wish I had a girlfriend there to appreciate it with me.

~On the marriage front, I think I had a major break through about why I feel so hurt and angry all the time. Now I need to find a way to discuss it with TheBoy without causing a massive argument. Really I just feel better just having recognized a root issue as opposed to just reacting (and over-reacting) to my emotions which is not really helping the situation at all. Maybe I won't have to bring it up to him at all, maybe I'll feel better just recognizing the issue within myself. Maybe? This self help stuff isn't as easy as it sounded y'all.

*The title of this post has nothing to do whatsoever with the content of this post... I just heard this Jackson Browne song on the radio this morning during my commute and it is now stuck in my head on a constant replay loop.

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