Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Baby, Hold On*

Hey, it might never be the same
We might never live those days gone by
But we can try

I think I get stuck on “the way things were” or “the good old days” and you know what I’ve discovered? The way things were wasn’t necessarily that great. It’s just that those days were better than the more recent days. The grass IS always greener after all I guess.

Good morning
Let's kick the babies out of bed
How bout you and me instead hanging on
Not up and gone

Okay no babies… But for the record I would kick TheCat out of bed in favor of more snuggling time with you. You know how much I love to snuggle! And in my defense, I think part of the reason we feel so estranged from each other is because of the lack of intimacy in our relationship. You just can’t fake those kinds of feelings – no matter how much I wish I could.

(Baby, hold on)
Let's start this over
(Baby, hold on)
We're not much older now
(Baby, hold on)
If you still see what I see
Keep holding on
Hold on to me

Can we start over? Probably not. Too many years of history there. But we could act like we’re starting over, try a little harder to make each other smile, do little things to let the other know we care. I really believe its not too late for us – that this doesn’t have to be the end. I feel like we have our entire lives ahead of us and all we need to do is spend more time turning to each other for strength and comfort and less time filling that void with other people and things. Will you hold on to me?

Baby, it's good to see you smile again
I know we can't escape
So let's pretend
We're someplace else

No doubt things are hard right now. These definitely feel like burdens above and beyond what I can bear. Maybe we need to just forgive ourselves and each other for things that are ultimately out of our control. All marriages suffer strain… Let’s get away – you and me – even if its no farther than the backyard. Enjoy the moments as they come and save the stress for tomorrow. We can handle anything if we stand together.

It's a new day
Let's look at all we've got
It's everything we thought
We ever wanted
It's beautiful

Believe it or not, but this life that we’re living right now? This is exactly the life I thought I wanted a few years ago. What woman wouldn’t want to be married to her best friend? And how many years had I been working on you to move out of the Bay Area because the crowds and traffic and noise make me crazy? How much did I love our house when we first moved in? It felt like infinite possibilities – the whole world was at my doorstep!

How could I have known that all of these things would eventually make me miserable? When did they stop being beautiful and start being burdens?

(Baby, hold on)
Let's start this over
(Baby, hold on)
We're not much older now
(Baby, hold on)
If you still see what I see
Keep holding on
Hold on to me

But we still have each other. Maybe that’s what we need? To get back to basics and just have it be you and me against the world? Just like it used to be… Back when I would rather be with you than anyone else in the world – and you with me. Back when our house was constantly filled with love and laughter and friends and good times. Back before the silence and the anger and the hurt feelings and the tears. Lets move past all that - lets hold on to the one thing we know is right – each other.

I look across the room and catch you staring at me
And see the love we almost left behind
So lead me by the hand and let's make up
Let's make up for lost time

Do you love me? Do you still want to spend the rest of your life with me? Do I make you happy? The answer to all those questions for me is yes. But it is a cautious and quiet yes because I can’t tell how you feel. I am afraid to be rejected, to look across the room and see nothing (or worse) in your eyes. You have to make the first move here. I promise I’ll meet you half way, hell I’ll meet you 75% of the way. But the first step has to be yours. Take me by the hand?

(Baby, hold on)
Let's start this over
(Baby, hold on)
We're not much older
(Baby, hold on)
If you still see what I see
Keep holding on

Do you see what I see? Can we move past the past and concentrate on the future? Forgive and forget? I don’t know if it is possible, but it is definitely impossible without you on board also. We can start over, build our life together starting now, its not too late, we’re not too old.

Hey, it might never be the same
We might never live those days gone by
But we can try


*Dixie Chicks - Taking the Long Way - Baby Hold On

4 comments:

Melina said...

so...how are things?? Have you guys talked?

Tiffany said...

M- no because of course I can write these things but I can't say them out loud in a conversation... Work in progress?

Earn 200 said...
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