Every few days I open up a new post on this here blog and think "today! today I will resume this activity I once loved so much!" Then one of two things happens. I either a) sit staring at that stupid blinking cursor and typing then deleting random positive crap that sounds hollow even to me ("hey guys - getting divorced is great - yay!") or b) the shit I write is so dark and depressing that I'm afraid to publish it for fear someone will call me in on a 5150.
But then... I was perusing some of my favorite blogs because, while I can't seem to muster up the energy to post anything meaningful, I still love keeping up with all the great things happening on my favorite blogs and I found a link to a blog I've never read before. Turns out the author of this blog (comic strip?) had been MIA for over a year and then just last week finally posted something new - so people were understandably excited.
That post was perhaps the singularly best description of depression I've ever read in any book, blog, magazine or self-help article at the doctor's office. The quote that literally stopped me in my tracks was "Yet there I was, casually wishing that I could stop existing in the same way you'd want to leave an empty room or mute an unbearably repetitive noise." And reading that, and even (gasp) laughing at some of her cartoons, I felt... hope. Like if this person gets it (and you guys, she TOTALLY gets it) then maybe... Maybe what? I don't know. But maybe feels like enough right now.
So. If you're wondering where I am or want a little glimpse in to how I'm feeling you can read her posts in their entirety on her blog:
Latest post here
Or, if you'd rather, just scroll through her "best of" section. This chick is hilarious - truly. And in the meantime I'm going searching for corn.