Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Writing exercise - I am, I was, I am not

I am obsessed with teen movies and like Step Up and Stick It (“they don’t call it gym-nice-tics”) and TV shows like 90210 (the old AND the new if I must admit) for some known only to God reason. Maybe I feel like my high school years were too drama free?

I was not the popular one in high school, despite being a cheerleader (which means something completely different in California than in Texas, BTW) and having a fairly decent group of friends. Maybe I just chose the wrong friends? There was the pretty one, and the smart one, and the crazy one and… me.


I am not accepting of drama in my current life. AT. ALL. There are a few notable exceptions to this rule but for the most part I maintain a strict “no drama” policy. If you have drama and are still a part of my life then… well I love you. Yes, that much.

*****

I am obsessed with food and calories and weight loss and working out and… I realize this is probably not healthy.

I was sick for a very long time over those same things. I am better now. I hope.

I am not ashamed to admit it.

*****

I am a feminist, a liberal, and a bleeding heart. I am independent, strong-willed and opinionated.

I was misinformed and ignorant. I was naïve to follow everything I was told by my “elders”.

I am not apologizing for what I believe. Not ever again. Nor will I ask you to.

*****

I am the kind of woman who is honest and straight forward about who I am, flawed as I may be. I have a “take me as I am” attitude and I finally do believe that if you don’t care to know me then it is your loss.

I was the kind of girl who made up stories in order to get people to like and accept me.

I am not the kind of person to judge you. Ever. I’ve been judged enough in my life for the two of us. I promise.

*****

I am the kind of girl that cries at sad movies. Hell, who am I kidding? I cry at movies, TV shows, books, sad songs on the radio and when my friends are sad for any reason. In fact, if you are a real life “friend of Tiffy” and I have ever avoided your calls during a rough patch it is because I couldn’t talk to you without crying and I knew that wasn’t good for either of us.

I was embarrassed to be the girl that cried at movies and TV shows and sad songs until I realized how many of my sisters out there do the same damn thing.

I am not the kind of woman who will let you see me cry when I am actually in pain. Sad song on the radio? No problem. Serious problem in my life or major health scare? Total secret. And no you won’t change me. Like Brooks and Dunn say… “Cowgirls don’t cry.”

*****

I am a writer, a singer, and a chef. I am a daughter, a friend, a sister (though not my blood) and a wife. I am compassionate, I am strong, I am sensitive, I am weak and in need of grace. I am me.

I was afraid of who I really was for a long time because I felt like I wasn’t good enough.

I am not afraid anymore.

1 comment:

Michele said...

This is a GREAT post.