Birthday resolutions kept = 0

You would never guess that I vowed to be a better blogger in this, my 29th year. I swear I keep thinking of things I want to say but I lack the appropriate amount of time to actually write them up. But I will. I promise. In the mean time you (my whole 2 readers) can content yourself with another post of randomness that I hastily pound out on my lunch break. You lucky people you.

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~ I am sweating. Profusely. At work. The receptionist upstairs just sent an e-mail out about how the A/C was broken in the building and that someone would be out shortly to remedy the situation. I was forced to reply inquiring about the apparent excellent condition of the heating system however because for some unknown reason it is roughly 98 degrees in the ladies room. It is only slightly cooler in the rest of the building given that the restroom has its own gigantic heating vent and the rest of the floor only has 6 additional vents. 3,000 square feet in the office = 6 heating vents, 100 square feet in the ladies room = 1 heating vent. Someone did not research this.

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~ A few days ago I had a dream that I got talked into actually leaving my cubicle for lunch and accompanied some of the ladies from the office to a restaurant down the street. On our way we passed one of those slightly crazy, very olfactory offensive women who sit downtown and offer to tell the fortunes of the passing masses in suits and ties. Conversation at lunch centered mainly on fortune telling and somehow it was discovered that I, along with only one other co-worker, had never had the extreme pleasure of paying some stranger to tell me my future based on the tilt of my head and facial ticks. The other woman got talked into having her fortune read on the way back from lunch. I flatly refused.

As a group we all huddled around this little old lady and my co-worker prepared to have her fortune told. I remember thinking that all of the things that this woman told my friend were predictable. She would have success at work – we were all dressed in various forms of business attire. She would enjoy the company of good friends – surrounded by 6 women. That type of thing. I was understandably not prepared when she singled me out of the crowd. “You are getting married soon,” she said to me. Congratulations Einstein - she obviously saw the engagement ring on my finger. As I turned with the girls to go she muttered something under her breath, something none of the girls caught and I pretended not to understand. “You won’t be married this time next year.”

I really need to cut back on the red wine before bed.

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~ In family news, my soon-to-be Brother in Law and his wife had their first child yesterday. Ava. In the two slightly grainy photos I have of her she looks cute, in that sort of alien newborn baby way. Don’t lie, you know what I am talking about. All accounts have the parents over the moon with happiness. One late night text from the BIL summed it up by saying it is “surreal”. I can only agree. Surreal is exactly the feeling I have when I learn that yet another friend is reproducing. But then again you know about me and the babies. Anyway, I can’t wait to meet my new little niece Ava. I might have to kill my future SIL though if she looks as good after just birthing an effing baby as she did one week before her due date. I won’t say I wasn’t the slightest bit jealous when I realized that she probably weighed less than me. She certainly looked beautiful in her little black dress.