Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Being selfish

I have this theory that a vast majority of the world's conflicts could be solved if people would put themselves in the shoes of the other side to gain perspective. I wish people would take the time to consider things from the opposite view point a little more. Less "all about me" and more "what about them". If only people stopped to think what effect their actions and words would have on the recipient and/or witness to said words and actions... If only.

However, today on my way home from work (driving with the top down, IN JANUARY! Woot!) I was contemplating my new resolution to focus a little more on me and discovered that I have been practicing my own theory a little TOO much. I find that I care overmuch about other people's feelings, I am focused solely on my loved one's happiness to the detriment of my own. I imagine that in a perfect world I would be 100% focused on the happiness of my husband, my family, my friends and that they in turn would be 100% focused on MY happiness. Wishful thinking or just naivety? Hmm...

Either way, its safe to say that I spend a lot of time thinking about my loved ones and worrying about what I can do to make them happy which in turn leads to a lot of time spent nursing hurt feelings because they either don't seem to care that I have agonized over their happiness or that they don't seem to care as much about MY happiness as I do theirs. I think this whole "looking out for my star player"* thing is going to be more work than I thought considering its only half way through January and I am already struggling with it.

At least I am getting better at recognizing when my feelings are hurt because someone is actually a jerk as opposed to when my feelings are just hurt because I was hoping someone would take the initiative to make ME happy. I suppose people aren't mind readers and they can't be expected to just KNOW what I want in order to be happy. Though I think a little consideration wouldn't hurt. It's a fine line isn't it? Between being a little selfish and taking people for granted?

*Brownie points and my undying respect if anyone knows the quote.

1 comment:

Kitty #8 said...

So true, very fine line. I seem to find that I end up screwing myself too because I go out of my way so often for others that when I chose to (god forbid) help myself first, I often get called SELFISH! Sometimes I gotta take care of me, what the hell?