Wednesday, September 13, 2006

No Fear?

Someone, a person much wiser than me, said to me recently that fear has no place in true love. They believe that in order to love someone, truly, you must abandon all thoughts of being hurt, of loss, and concentrate fully in the moment. You must give way to the emotions you are feeling without thinking of their consequence.

I think I’ve lost some of my ability to do this. Lately, in the last several days, weeks and months, I find myself loving a little more cautiously. I still love, with a depth of emotion that frightens me at times, and yet I find myself holding back, keeping one eye towards the future. And now that I’ve recognized it in myself? I still can’t seem to stop.

Because here’s the thing… It’s hard to give 100% of yourself to something if you don’t feel like you are getting 100% back. BFL says that in every relationship one person takes on the role of the Lover and one the Beloved. But what happens when the Lover wants to switch roles and become the Beloved?


Michele said...

Sounds like a wise person indeed.

I think you can switch roles, or at least level the playing field. Sometimes people just need a little guidance.

Laurie said...

Holy crap. It's like you wrote exactly what I'm thinking. Only, better.

Angie said...

I don't think that True love is the absence of fear but rather when you realize that your fears are no longer founded.. It's when you realize that the person you are with doesn't want to hurt you for the world.

You can't will away your fears. They disappear as you face your fears with your loved one and they leave you without doubt.

And as for roles of the Lover and the Beloved.. I think they should constantly be switching. The goal is to make each other happy. And that is harder to do if you only give or only take.