Thursday, September 28, 2006


I leave for Cabo in 41 hours. I have accomplished almost nothing on my list of “to-do” items. As you can imagine, this is causing me a lot of undue stress! Between the laundry and the ironing and the packing (don’t even get me started on the ever changing FDA approved items for travel list!) and running around to take care of the *ahem* personal grooming items that needed to be maintained before I could possibly wear a bikini… I’m going crazy over here!

A couple of weeks ago after the biopsy, in which the doctor cut a hole in my foot, I was having just one of those days. Ladies, you know what I mean… I was just starting to feel like maybe the universe should put down the ugly stick it’s been beating me with for the past several weeks. Take for example:

1) I am in desperate need of a haircut but my stylist says it’s pointless to do anything before Cabo because the salt water and chlorine will ruin it.

2) All of my nails have been breaking like crazy. I think this might be another joyous effect of whatever infection is currently running rampant in my system. Being able to grow strong and healthy nails has always been a point of pride for me.

3) I have not been to the gym in WEEKS. Because I have a HOLE in my FOOT. Have I mentioned that before?

4) Also, let’s not forget that I have some serious purple scarring going on all over my feet and legs. AND? Now I have mysterious bumps showing up, not only in the scars but also in places that I previously had no bite! Is this fair?

So, as I sat at my desk at work, having my own little pity party (table for 1) I decided that at the very least I could have cute hands. So I took my scraggly haired, plague having, limping fat ass down to the nail salon closest to my office and bought a set of nails. Oh yes I did. And I love them – click clickity click.


So that was 2 weeks ago and I wanted to get a fill before I left for Cabo. Cute hands in Cabo – check! Scary plague rash on legs under sundress – check! check! Anywho, I was going to try to find a cheaper place to go (as downtown is quite expensive) but in the interest of saving time I went ahead and made an appointment at the salon with the girl who did the original set. When I got there she was “at lunch” (?) even though I had an appointment so another girl was going to work on me.

I sat down in the chair and explained what I wanted (fill, shorten to length of my nails, very thin) and then started zoning out to all the other things I have to do before I leave. However, I was drug back from la la land by the SEARING PAIN in my fingers! Seriously, this girl had a dremmel tool sander thing and she was going to use it! It felt like every nerve in the tip of my fingers was on fire. I literally had to close my eyes and breathe deep to get through it. I tried a couple times to explain the agony but she just kind of giggled and offered some encouragement (so pretty!).

It’s a shame really because at the end when I finally became brave enough to open my eyes, where I was expecting to see bloody stumps, sat what is probably the best fill I’ve ever had. No pain no gain? Even so I think I’ll take my chances with a new salon next time! My fingers are STILL tender in some places! But I have pretty bought and paid for nails. A girl’s got to have something.


Liz said...

Yes, no pain no gain :( Sorry to hear about your experience.

blog Portland said...

I really don't have anything funny or witty to comment about this, I just hate lurking. So there.

Michele said...

Oh yes, searing pain, ha ha! I swear, those girls are always laughing (at me?) and I can never figure out why!

Laurie said...

My nail lady uses the Dremmel on me, too. Trust me, after a while, you develop a tolerance for it. Five years after my first set, I'm a freakin' pro. Sometimes, though, it gets REALLY FREAKIN' HOT, and she stops for a second, lets it cool and then gets back to business.

It's always worth it in the end. :)

Tiffany said...

Laurie - so that burning sensation I was feeling might have actually been from BURNING?!?!?

I just thought my nerve endings had gone on strike!

Anonymous said...

You are cracking me up, Tiff. I don't mean to laugh at your misery, but damn. You've had it bad.

But I'm not gonna feel to badly for you cuz you're going to Cabo while I'm stuck in this hell hole. LOL. Have fun babe.