An oldie but a goodie

So even though I have done this particular thing before, I am giving it another shot. Truth is I love learning little tidbits about people. What can I say? So thanks again to Kate for sending me the questions.

Also, I have no idea what is going on with the different fonts in this post but for some reason can't figure out how to make it better. Sorry. **wait I think I fixed it**

If you could go back and change one moment in time, what moment would it be?

Hm. This is tricky. Normally I have a strict no-indulging-in-what-if-I-could-change-the-past rule because while I certainly have regrets I think my past made me who I am today and brought the people into my life that I have now and that I would not change for a million dollars. However. In the interest of this question I'll go with the first thing that popped into my mind, sad as it will sound.

(takes a deep breath and hopes she doesn't get a lot of crap for this...)

I wish I could go back and change my wedding. I can't think back to the exact "moment in time" when the wedding stopped being about what I wanted it to be about and became this... other thing that made me miserable and from which I can't find a single good memory without it being immediately followed by two or three bad memories. Maybe I would take back the day TheBoy and I went out and found the boat we had the wedding on, which happened before we were even engaged btw. Or maybe I would take back the day I bought the dress I grew to hate. Maybe I would have fought harder the day I let TheBoy talk me out of just driving to City Hall and having done with the whole thing because he said our families would never forgive us. Maybe I wouldn't have spent time choosing my engagement ring with TheBoy, a ring I now only wear maybe 4 days a month. Maybe I wouldn't have said yes. I'm not sure how far back I'd have to go to erase the memory... Its a slippery slope isn't it?

And before I start getting a bunch of comments about how sad this all is... Save your fingers the typing. Yes I wanted to get married and yes I am happy with TheBoy and yes it does mean a lot to me that we are married. I just wish I didn't have THESE memories of that particular day that is supposed to be this huge deal. Its not like I can take it back, you know? You only get ONE wedding day. I wish mine were different is all. Maybe I should go back to the moment when I got it stuck in my head, probably sometime around the time I was eight years old, that my wedding day would be this wonderful, happy, fairy-tale of a day and give myself a reality check.

Share your most embarrassing story.

Oh Kate. I'm not sure if I should shake my head at your naivety or be ashamed that I actually had to consider WHICH embarrassing story to share. My name is synonymous which embarrassing and my stories are many and they are mortifying. However, remembering that this is a family blog ~ahem~ I'll tell you about the time I propositioned my now brother-in-law.

I had been invited to dinner with TheBoy, his father and step-mother and his brother to celebrate... something. That particular detail is unimportant. What IS important to know is that I had only met these people on ONE other occasion at this point and that I was REALLY nervous. We went to this Italian restaurant which was WAY fancier than any place I had been before. (Did you guys know that before TheBoy I had done absolutely zero fine dining and had NEVER drank wine aside from that wine mixed with fruit juice stuff? I guess you could say he took this little small town, beer drinking girl and... well he created a monster I guess. Just a little random tidbit of info for you Tiffy fans out there. Moving on.) So the only other time I had met TheBoy's brother he had this girlfriend he'd been dating for ages, like since college or something, named Liz. Liz was conspicuously missing from this second dinner so, when an appropriate time arrived in conversation I asked him about her. Well it turns out that they had recently broken up. Being a somewhat typical girl I made all the appropriate comments about how sad that was but how I'm sure he'll find someone fantastic in no time and so on. And then, in what I can only describe as one of those moments where you actually SEE the train shifting a little off the track but are powerless to stop it, I blurted out "that's okay I'd like to have both brothers."

~crickets~

Needless to say the table fell silent, both I and now brother-in-law turned interesting shades of purple, TheBoy shot me a look of what-the-hell-just-came-out-of-your-mouth-woman and I seriously considered sliding under the tablecloth to wait out dinner. However, these people being much more refined than I, and mercifully forgiving to boot, after an awkward cough or two the conversation continued on to other subjects and I made it through the second meeting of my future in-laws with no other mishaps. TheBoy loves to torment me with that story occasionally. Now brother-in-law and I never discuss it.

Where would you choose to go if you could win an all expenses paid trip anywhere in the world?

Italy. No question. My only problem would be deciding which places in Italy to visit and in which order. Can my all expenses paid trip be for like 3 months? That would be super. Because I want to do the tourist thing and see all the historical sites like the Vatican and Rome and Venice and Florence and so on but I also kind of just want to find a little village on the coast where I can swim and walk around exploring and drink homemade wine and dip crusty loaves of fresh baked bread into homemade olive oil and eat my weight in fantastic Italian food cooked for me by some one's grandma who doesn't speak a word of English but loves me and my enthusiasm for good food and good wine.

Wow I didn't think I had put that much thought into this fantasy trip of mine but... I guess its fairly clear I have! ~sigh~ I guess I should start playing lotto.

What is your fondest memory as a child?

Okay so I saved this one for last because... well because the first memories that popped into my head are memories that I don't want to be my happiest memories. That doesn't make any sense at all. Let's see if I can explain, or at least work it out in my own head, here in writing for all of you guys to witness my neurosis. So as a child of divorced parents I spent most of my summers in Mississippi with Jim (my father) until I was like ten or eleven. So the combination of it being summertime (yay!) and being with my father, who lived far away and I didn't see often, and the age that I was, means that most of my happy childhood memories involve him.

And I wish they didn't.

So I suppose I could sit here and spout memories of swimming until my fingers were prunes, or the excitement of getting up early for church on Sunday because "daddy" had to get there early, followed by big lunches at Po' Folks or Shoneys and lazy Sunday afternoons spent playing in the park or napping quietly indoors to escape the heat and humidity. But I don't want to. And I struggle with this more than I probably should.

Instead I'll tell you about a friend of my mom's whose name I can not remember but who had this beautiful, and huge, horse named Rio. Why can I remember the horse's name but not the woman's? Anyway. Like all little girls I loved horses. My mom shares this love to this day in fact. I had riding lessons and the whole nine yards. Somehow my mom managed to get me an invite to go up to the hills and ride this woman's fantastic horse. It was like flying. I think I can safely say that is the largest horse I have ever ridden, though I will allow for the fact that every thing seemed bigger when I was young. Even though I'm probably only like four inches taller now than I was then. Ha. Its funny what I can remember about that day (all but this poor woman's name!). It was slightly rainy and overcast, that kind of day where you kind of feel the rain sitting in the air? I was wearing jeans (shocking) and I remember being sore, that good kind of saddle sore, afterwards. I remember being shy and a little afraid to ride such a big horse but loving it once I was up in the saddle. I remember feeling tall (don't laugh) and I remember feeling that I was somehow more powerful through osmosis.

Which social cause is near and dear to your heart, and why?

Right now I'm spending a lot of time poking around over at the Courage Campaign. Though I have yet to host an event or anything, I do try and get the word out and help where I can because I believe in separation of church and state and I think that discrimination, for ANY reason, is wrong. In the past I have also volunteered with women's shelters and orphanages and I did a little dialing for dollars on the Obama campaign. Lets just say I'm a big fan of equality and will do pretty much anything in my power to ensure it. Sadly there isn't much IN my power to do which is SO frustrating!

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THE RULES: 1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” 2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. 3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions. Be sure you link back to the original post. 4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Perspective

I feel like I have this GRAND VISION for the life I want. You know, the one in which I am fit and healthy and happy and spending my weekends doing fabulous things (mostly outdoors, natch) and have loads of wonderful friends to hang out with all the time?

Yeah, that vision.

The problem is... I can't seem to figure out how to get from here, the place where I am fat and out of shape, super lonely and sad all the time, to there. It's almost like THAT life is a 180 turn from THIS one and I'm stuck in an either/or situation.

You know what I mean?

Look at me go!

Three posts in one week y'all! Woot!

This new development just might have something to do with the fact that I have figured out how to blog from my cell phone, thus giving me more access since I am so very rarely in front of a computer any more. Though I do find it amusing that the one day I AM in front of a computer that none of the real life "friends of Tiffy" are online to chat with. Harrumph.

You know what else is amusing? The people at my gym who will drive around the parking lot for ages waiting for a close spot to park, right near the door, rather than just parking at the outer edges of the lot where there are plenty of spaces and walking in. I mean theoretically these folks are on their way to work out right? I wouldn't think that a 100 yard walk would be terribly out of the question if you are about to log several miles on the treadmill. But what do I know?

Speaking of the gym, I am having a super hard time staying motivated right now. It might have something to do with the fact that I have been busting my A$$ for weeks and watching what I eat and so on and have somehow (known only to God and my fat cells) managed to GAIN 2 pounds. Again I say to Mother Nature "what the hell"??? However, my company is sponsoring this fitness challenge thing that starts on V-Day and I am sorely tempted to join up. If it weren't for the $500 price tag I would have been the first in line but since catering doesn't pay nearly as well as mortgage banking I'm torn. Though since I am a mere 15 or 20 pounds away from my Heaviest. Weight. Ever. I am thinking it might be time to throw a little money at this problem. Because if I end up at that weight again I might just shot myself and have done with it.

I'm of course not 100% serious about the whole shooting myself thing. Only like 95% serious. It is a super, SUPER depressing thought. I'm just saying.

I suppose since none of my friends seem to want to come online to play with me I should go run errands and get some of the never-ending laundry and house-cleaning done before TheBoy and I head up to Shasta for the weekend. Here's to warm drinks by the bonfire, ping pong tournaments and good times with friends. Hopefully you all have a great weekend also!

Enough!

As I approach my 30th birthday I have come to accept that getting older means lots of good things like independence and being sure of myself and feeling confident and sexy and so on. Trust me, in my search for the silver lining I have bought into ALL of that stuff. I am 30! I am strong and independent! I am beautiful! Yada, yada, yada...

However, there are certain parts that are coming with getting older that I don't feel are particularly fair. For example the fact that I now know what under-eye concealer is for, and that I use it almost every day because either those dark circles under my eyes are getting darker or I'm becoming more paranoid about it. Either way, not good. And don't even get me started about that time I sneezed and... well lets just say that was a huge WTH moment. I mean really? What. The. Hell?!?!?!

But this morning I woke up to find the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I have a HUGE zit, right in the center of my nose ala Rudolph. And that sucker is painful! So on top of the dark eye circles and the dry skin and the *ahem* other joys of turning older I am now going to start breaking out like a freaking teenager? To that I say, enough Mother Nature.

Enough.

Public Service Announcement

To all my single IIFs, I now bring you the following news announcement. If you are looking for Mr. Right and are particularly fond of the tall, broad-shouldered, military and/or athletic type GET THEE TO YOUR NEAREST GUN SHOW!

TheBoy really, really, REALLY wanted to go to a gun show in San Francisco over the weekend and I, being the saintly wife that I am, agreed to accompany him. Best Saturday morning eye candy EVER! Seriously. If I wasn't already Mrs. TheBoy I would have been sorely tempted to smile back at any number of strapping men folk who were smiling in my direction. Perhaps it was the novelty of seeing a female at the show (I counted maybe another dozen ladies in attendance total) or maybe those boys are just friendly but...

Seriuosly. Gun Show. Who knew?

Being selfish

I have this theory that a vast majority of the world's conflicts could be solved if people would put themselves in the shoes of the other side to gain perspective. I wish people would take the time to consider things from the opposite view point a little more. Less "all about me" and more "what about them". If only people stopped to think what effect their actions and words would have on the recipient and/or witness to said words and actions... If only.

However, today on my way home from work (driving with the top down, IN JANUARY! Woot!) I was contemplating my new resolution to focus a little more on me and discovered that I have been practicing my own theory a little TOO much. I find that I care overmuch about other people's feelings, I am focused solely on my loved one's happiness to the detriment of my own. I imagine that in a perfect world I would be 100% focused on the happiness of my husband, my family, my friends and that they in turn would be 100% focused on MY happiness. Wishful thinking or just naivety? Hmm...

Either way, its safe to say that I spend a lot of time thinking about my loved ones and worrying about what I can do to make them happy which in turn leads to a lot of time spent nursing hurt feelings because they either don't seem to care that I have agonized over their happiness or that they don't seem to care as much about MY happiness as I do theirs. I think this whole "looking out for my star player"* thing is going to be more work than I thought considering its only half way through January and I am already struggling with it.

At least I am getting better at recognizing when my feelings are hurt because someone is actually a jerk as opposed to when my feelings are just hurt because I was hoping someone would take the initiative to make ME happy. I suppose people aren't mind readers and they can't be expected to just KNOW what I want in order to be happy. Though I think a little consideration wouldn't hurt. It's a fine line isn't it? Between being a little selfish and taking people for granted?


*Brownie points and my undying respect if anyone knows the quote.

What used to be and what is

I used to have pretty hands. No really. You know when people ask you what your favorite feature is and you try to laugh it off with something like “my fantastic, sarcastic wit” or something but what they really want is a physical feature? Most people I know would say eyes, or smile, or tush. But for me, it was always my hands. I was proud of them; I kept my nails manicured and always wore lotion… Maybe it was a little vanity thing on my part but I don’t care. I thought I had pretty hands.

I no longer have pretty hands. I now have cracked, chapped, dry, flaky, food-stained, bleach soaked hands. My nails tear on almost a daily basis from soaking in too much water, which is an amazing feat in and of itself because I keep them cut super short. I feel like I now have old lady hands, all that is missing are the age spots. But strangely enough I don’t really care. In fact, I would even say that in some way I’m even proud of my ugly hands. They are working hands, they got this way doing something that I love.

I used to have an obsession with pretty shoes. Nine West, Kenneth Cole, Anne Klein, Via Spiga, Steve Madden, Betsey Johnson, Paolo… I love these brands and I would literally be as giddy as a 7 year old on Christmas morning every time I got a new pair. Since in my wardrobe I tend to stick with the basic neutral colors like black, brown, gray, and beige, I would always buy outrageously colored shoes. Pink and white polka-dot pumps, teal blue sandals, orange and yellow cork soled wedges, burgundy red peep-toe mary-janes, cherry red ballet flats. I love ALL of those shoes.

However, now I wear shoes that fall under the category of “comfort” and “orthopedic”. I spend a majority of my days and weeks standing, running, climbing stairs and step-ladders and lifting heavy items. All of my designer shoes are painfully inappropriate now, for reasons other than their ridiculously high heels and their open toes. I recently broke down and purchased two pairs of shoes for work. But when I opened the box, instead of feeling the elation that usually accompanies a fantastic new shoe, all I felt was relief that I would have something to wear that wouldn’t make my feet ache by lunch and mild amusement that they weren’t quite as ugly as they looked online. Almost, but not quite.

I used to have other things also. Things I took for granted like, current email correspondence, a balanced checkbook and regular access to the internet for research, education and fun. Now I’m pretty sure most of my friends have given me up for lost, it just took me almost TWO HOURS to balance our checkbook because I haven’t done it in so long and I now rarely get to play on the internet for any purpose. I check my email every couple of days (though I rarely have time to respond in detail to anything), I catch up on reading what you all have posted on your blogs and I make mental notes for blog posts. Y’all, if someone would invent an easy (and legal) way to blog post from your car while driving I would be the most prolific blogger on earth. I seem to always have great ideas when driving and even sometimes compose entire posts in my head. Of course I can never remember them when I am sitting and staring at a blank Word document. Of course.

What I DO have now is a job that I actually enjoy. I wake up every morning and know that I have something to do today that is enjoyable and not an odorous chore to be dreaded and bitched about. I have a (modestly) clean home. Even though I have had to let go of some of my AR tendencies out of necessity and fears for my sanity, our home is generally clean and tidy. The fact that our Christmas decorations are still up is neither here nor there. Ahem. I have healthy groceries in the fridge and manage to cook something both healthy AND tasty most nights of the week. I have a snuggly kitty who lays on my feet at night since it is cold and I occasionally find a minute or two to read at night before exhaustion forces my eyes closed. I have been working out regularly again and between the working out and the actual work I actually feel tired, physically tired, at the end of the day. And that feels good my friends. Very, very good.

Resolute

Hello and Happy New Year!

I can not honestly believe that it is already 8 days in to 2009. Where is the time going? And could we slow it down? Maybe? Just a smidge? I am seriously not ready for this year, the year in which I will leave my 20's behind entirely. Lucky for me TheBoy is first on that front though judging by his reaction I might as well put in my request at work to hibernate the entire month of April.

In the spirit of the season I did make some resolutions. Actually I sort of made one big resolution and am hoping that a lot of other things will fall into place because of it. I have deemed 2009 to be the year of me. I realize that sounds selfish but trust me people I am about the LEAST selfish person you could ever know. I've been referred to as a doormat more times than I care to remember. But never mind that, THIS year I will be different. I will work to improve ME as my number one priority. I want to do things, accomplish things, change things... This will be the year I actually DO.

I hope.

Happy Holidays

In these few early morning moments I have before I need to start getting ready for the not one but three Christmases I am attending over the next two days I thought I would take a minute to wish you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever your pleasure is this time of year. Its been a long, crazy year for this girl but I'm looking forward to spending some time with my friends and family in the coming days and excited about ushering in a new year. I wish the same for all of you.

Cheers!
Tiff


PS - Please ignore the bar thing hanging out behind the Christmas tree there... Home improvement never ends, not even for Christmas.

PPS - The cat is currently laying in that exact location, only this time he's chewing on the ends of all the ribbon on people's gifts. That would explain the cat-retching sounds that woke me earlier. Its a good thing that cat is cute I tell you what.

The Christmas Spirit

As a child Christmas was my favorite holiday, even more exciting than my birthday, which I didn't start loathing until sometime around 18 or 20. I loved the lights, the chill in the air and the fact that my mom and I always had company. I think that is the part of Christmas that I have tried to hold on to as an adult, the happiness of being with friends and family. Even if I haven't spoken to someone as often as I should have, at Christmas getting together becomes a priority. I love that.

What I don't love is the commercialism and materialism that surrounds the holidays. I'm sorry to all of my readers who love getting presents or delight in selecting the perfect item to bestow on a loved one. Gift giving to me is stressful at best and gift receiving makes me highly uncomfortable. Like I'm sitting in the room in my panties and have to pretend its totally normal behavior.

This Christmas in particular I've noticed that I have had numerous opportunities for reconciliation with my past. And for some reason my instinct has changed from "run screaming from that jerk who broke my heart or the ghost of fathers past" to "maybe its time to forgive and move on with my life." We'll see if anything comes of any of this but I've decided as a New Year's resolution of sorts to just relax and be open to communications I might otherwise not have been.

It's the craz-, craziest time of the year!

You know I used to be one of those annoying people that had all their holiday shopping done by mid-October AT THE LATEST. The key phrase in that sentence being "used to be". It seems that between the wedding and the honeymoon and the being unemployed and the career change I somehow... forgot to buy presents. In fact, before tonight I had only purchased one (1) gift for Christmas at all and that was something I intended to send to a friend on the east coast.

No, I have not in fact actually MAILED said gift to the east coast. Ahem.

But lord all mighty was it insane out there tonight! I'm not stupid (or desperate) enough to even remotely attempt anything resembling a mall but I did swing by a local book store to take a look at some things on my way home from work this morning and it was not pretty. The traffic, the lines, the rain, the harassed looking staff... Why do we put ourselves through this every year again? I've forgotten.

Though I do now have more than one (1) gift purchased. In fact, if I play my cards right I may not even need to go to another store again until well after the new year! Fingers crossed!

Brrrr....

Dear State of California,

I know you and I have had a love/hate relationship over the years. Really its been more of a tolerate/hate at best but that's neither here nor there. The fact is that I've remained faithful to you for almost 17 years, I've paid the exorbitant rent prices, I even bought an overpriced home! I've endured the higher average price per gallon at the pump (though I do thank you for lowering prices down from $5 a gallon - I can actually afford to drive to the gas station now!). I've even learned to cope with the millions of people constantly in my space and the houses popping up one on top of the other every where.

You, on the other hand, have not kept up YOUR end of this bargain. I endure the people, the expensive cost of living, the traffic and the high gas prices and YOU provide tolerable weather year-round. Considering that it took me 5 minutes (and most of a cup of much needed coffee) to get myself into my frozen over car yesterday morning, and then an additional 15-20 minutes to de-ice the windshield enough to drive (at least the side windows roll down), I would say this definitely does not fall under the definition of tolerable weather by any stretch.

The final straw was when I noticed snow (SNOW!) on the hills directly to the north of my home yeasterday and when they had to actually close all but one lane over the pass due to snow and ice on the roadway. You know, California, as well as I do that the people who call you home are TERRIBLE drivers and do not understand the concept of wetness coming from the sky. When this "wetness" appears to freeze... It's like a holy armageddon!

I would appreciate your immediate attention to this matter. I'd hate to have to sell my home and move away, especially since this over-priced real estate? Totally not worth the money, but anyway! Moving on! At least bring me back my mild winter weather. Please?

Sincerely,

T.

Living the Good Life

Having spoken to many bloggers "off the record", I've noticed a common theme among us regarding posting. Our best writing is done when fueled by angst or anger or worry or sadness; we find it harder to put together coherent posts when we are happy. How many posts on weekend updates or how much one loves one's job/house/husband/wife/life can you write after all? Day 1 - very happy... Day 12 - still very happy. It gets a little stunted.

That is sort of where I am. I am happier than I have been in years. I no longer wake up in the morning with an ever-present sense of dread, I am no longer uneasy for no reason, I no longer well up with tears unexpectedly or cry to myself in the car for no discernible reason other than I feel sadness. Now I wake up happy, I feel optimistic, I laugh, I mean really laugh, and I do so frequently. Unfortunately I feel like the details of this happiness aren't exactly blog worthy.

And though there are a couple things going on in my life right now that I DO lose sleep over, alas I can not blog about them here either as the audience is inappropriate. So I am at a loss. Do I post superfluous posts about how much I love my new job, how happy I am to finally be doing something I actually ENJOY as opposed to doing something I am simply good at? How many times I can post about loving matrimony? How many times I can I fail miserably at explaining why I love being married and why a stupid piece of paper made me feel safe, secure, hopeful about the future?

Or do I just throw all caution to the wind and post about what is REALLY on my mind, backlash be damned?

Why hello December...

First things first I have to send a big internet hug to BFL whose birthday is today!!! Happy Birthday darlin', can't wait to celebrate with you on Sunday!

*****

So... Did November just up and disappear all abrupt like on anyone else?? I swear between being gone for 11 days and Thanksgiving I misplaced half a month y'all! Here it is 3 days into December and I'm just now feeling like life is returning to normal. We're home safe, back to work, the laundry is almost done and the bags 98% unpacked. AND I'm blogging! A girl has to have priorities I guess. :D

The honeymoon was fantastic, better than either of us imagined or dared hope for. We stayed at this awesome all inclusive resort outside of Punta Cana, Dominican Republic and yes, it really is as beautiful as it looks in the pictures on their website. You know how sometimes at the end of a vacation you are sad to be leaving but also kind of ready to go home? Yeah well this trip was NOTHING like that. Neither TheBoy or I wanted to leave and it was SO hard getting up that last morning to pack.

The only downside of the whole trip was that flying there from the West Coast is terrible! On the way out there we had three flights with a 2 hour lay-over in LA and a 3 hour lay-over in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The fact that TheBoy is 6'7" and doesn't fit into any normal sized airplane seats comfortably didn't help as he spent each flight (including the 6 hour one between LA and Puerto Rico) with either his knees jammed into the seat back of the person in front of him or stretched out into the aisle where the stewardesses I swear were aiming for his knees with those drink carts. Also, since I was still sick (am still sick, whatever) 3 take offs and landings did a number on my sinuses!

Of course once we got there and breathed in the warm tropical air and felt the sunshine on our backs all complaining ceased. I reserved a private taxi through the resort because the #1 thing people kept telling me about the DR was that pretty much anyone can drive out to the airport, call themselves a taxi and pick you up to take to your hotel. Which is fine if they do in fact take you to your hotel directly as opposed to taking a little side trip out to the middle of nowhere and robbing you first. And after seeing the hour long drive out to the beach from the airport I can see would be pretty easy to do! We went through cow country on these crazy rough roads with HUGE potholes and even bigger speed bumps, there are no street signs to speak of and ideas such as "right side of the road" and "two cars abreast" don't seem to matter there. It was definitely an experience!

The people at the resort welcomed us with a cool towel, a glass of champagne and a chorus of "welcome home", it was fantastic. Pretty much after that we never left the resort. Unfortunately because I was still sick, my energy level was not what I hoped it would be but TheBoy was content to let me sleep in and spend most days laying out by the pool reading (or napping) or swimming around lazily. This was our first time at an all inclusive so we weren't sure what to expect but the food was great in all the restaurants though we didn't care too much for the Asian fusion restaurant (I think because we have such awesome Japanese and Thai food here at home) and we definitely LOVED the french restaurant best. And all the booze included too? It was awesome! From the bars in and around the pool to the daily re-stocked mini-bar in our room (including bottle service!) we never were far from our next CocoLoco, Crazy Monkey, Mai Tai or glass of champagne. It was heaven.

Believe it or not we actually managed to take about 70 pictures! I know that may not seem like a lot to some of you who come home with hundreds and hundreds of photos from your vacations but trust me, TheBoy and I usually get home from some fabulous trip only to discover we took 12 photos and 10 of them were on the last day when we discovered we didn't have any pictures! So without further ado...

Room, the first.

View from room #1

Dinner, first night, totally jet lagged and with the ONLY tequila we drank the whole entire trip. Crazy no? They're into this thing called "rum" down there and you know, when in Rome...


Room, the second. Upgraded to swim up suite in the "excellence club" area. VIP. That's how we roll y'all. Woot!

View from the pool, looking at our "porch" of the room #2. Notice the hammock? TheBoy Had. To. Have. the hammock. He spent as much time as possible, when it wasn't raining, the the hammock.


Even though we never left the resort really, there were tons of things to do. We played pool in one of the most lopsided and damp tables ever in the sports bar and TheBoy even tried his hand at the archery they had set up.


Here is TheBoy enjoying the pool and waiting for the next round of pool volleyball to start up. He actually played quite a bit of pool volleyball and water polo though I think he might have had an unfair advantage since 4' deep water is like waist deep for him but... he certainly was a popular choice on people's teams!


In our rooms they provided these super plush robes and slippers to wear as part of the whole "spa" experience. They were of course too big for me but comically too small for The Boy. Check out the one-size-fits-most slippers y'all.


Here we are hanging out in the hammock after dinner one night...


Did I mention the birds? There are a ton of birds all over the resort. Flamingos, parrots, geese, ducks, peacocks... You name it and they are wandering around. Normally I think birds are dirty and gross but somehow in paradise I didn't mind so much. Which was good since they like to come up and visit you in your room and hop onto your hand while you are taking pictures of them.



Also, TheBoy got all artistic on me with the camera one night in the bar after maybe one too many Mama Juana shots. (I know that article says it tastes like port but it most certainly doesn't taste like any port I've ever had... It tastes like maple syrup. Seriously.)




Of course it did rain about half the time we were there. Funny I didn't mind it... Probably because it was still 85 degrees and someone was always still at the pool bar which was right outside our room.


Mere hours after that rain photo was taken, TheBoy was outside in the pool building a raft out of all the floating mats that blew to our end of the pool during the storm.


And last, but not least, I wouldn't be me if I didn't have my own night of too many Mama Juana shots and convinced this nice girl who was also there on her honeymoon to go swimming with me at midnight even thought the pools are technically closed. Y'all know you love me.

Under the wire

I totally was NOT going to blog today. Because when pairing down the list of a million and two things I had to do today before I left, blogging didn't really make the top 10 list of essentials. Ahem. But since I was sneaking on the computer anyway to check the weather in the Dominican (rain and thunderstorms all 11 days we're there - WTF?) I thought I would check my email real fast, and then check the blogger reader to see who had posted and... slippery slope y'all.

Anywho, on Wednesday when I was deluding myself that I was not still sick as a dog I ran some errands after work to sort of primp and pamper myself before the honeymoon. Bikini wax and pedicure are fairly standard for me if I'm going out of town. Because sandals are much cuter if I don't have scary winter/half polished toes and well the bikini wax... Well that's probably enough about that.

What I did want to tell you guys about is my new amazing spray-on airbrush tan!! Why did I not discover this before? I'll admit to a few trips to the tanning booth back when I didn't have proper respect for things like skin cells and cancer but for the last several years I have been the queen of SPF. I wear sunscreen every day, in the winter, all the time. The result of this is that a) I am skin cancer free and haven't had one of those oh-so-attractive sunburns where instead of simply peeling the skin seems to slough off in sheets like I'm molting and b) I am day-glo white.

Well not anymore baby! 30 minutes of being airbrush painted and roughly 12 hours of processing time I am now a wonderful shade of... slightly less white. What? You didn't think I'd actually tan myself into some sort of Bahama Mama did you? Come on people, no one would recognize me! I am still blonde and freckled after all. But I do feel better that now I am not so blindingly white. Though all through the process the nice woman spraying me was talking about how a lot of women get these spray tans before their honeymoons because they make your skin look firmer and you look like you magically (!) lost 1o pounds.

Well I will say the cellulite on my ass is slightly less noticeable now that I am spray tanned but as for looking 10 pounds lighter? Alas I think that is one more miracle (!) weight loss ploy that just doesn't work. But. I think the desired effect was still accomplished because instead of wearing long pants and mu mu's this entire trip I might actually strip down to my bikini, if only to show off my fancy airbrush tan. A girl has to get her money's worth after all!

T-minus 24 hours and counting...

This time tomorrow I will be on my way home from work to meet TheBoy and my mom who is graciously driving us to the airport. I will be packed, ready and understandably both nervous (this trip is THREE long flights out there and THREE long flights home) and excited. Whee fun! This time tomorrow I will be looking forward to tropical weather, the possibility of thunderstorms, days of lounging and relaxing by the pool, awesome food and drinks and lots and lots of good quality time with my husband. Eleven whole days of relaxing and doing everything and nothing and having no timeline and... paradise.

Today, however, I am stressed out because I have two huge catering jobs at work to prep for tomorrow before I can go home. I am stressed out because I am STILL sick and in fact I swear I am getting sicker by the minute. I am stressed out because the house is not as clean as I would like it to be before I leave on vacation*, but mainly I am stressed because I know that it will not be cleaned because a) I am sick and don't feel like cleaning and b) TheBoy's niece who lives with us will be here and, well, as much as I love her she's just not the scary AR/OCD clean freak that I am. I'm stressed because we fly home on the day before Thanksgiving. THE. DAY. BEFORE. THANKSGIVING!!! What the hell was I thinking??

Of course I am not really helping the stress level by sitting here drinking tea, nursing this God-awful head cold and bitching to the internets at large. But looking at pictures of the resort we are staying at and reading reviews of fun things to do in the Dominican IS making me less stressed and more happy and excited so... I think its a wash. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone and I'll talk to you all when I get back!


*Yes I am one of THOSE people that cleans the house before going on a trip so I have a nice clean home to come back to - are you surprised?

It figures

So with something like 72 hours to go until TheBoy and I leave for our long overdue and much anticipated honeymoon it just figures that I would wake up this morning at like 1:30 am with a fever and a burning sore throat. I have felt like crap all day and even put off my immense to-do list for today in favor of crawling back into bed and sleeping away most of the day. My body is extremely good at letting me know when I've been pushing it a little too hard and with the new job (in and of itself physically exhausting), the new work out routine and the general craziness surrounding this upcoming vacation I'm not exactly surprised I'm feeling ill. I'm more annoyed at the universe's sense of humor.

Hello Universe? Going on vacation of a lifetime in 3 days. Please knock off this flu/cold bug joke that you're running ASAP. Thanks, me.

Anyway, here is hoping that I wake up tomorrow and all of this is just a vague memory and I feel back to my normal chipper self. After all there are pedicures to get, bikini waxes to have and something must be done about the pasty white status of my skin before I have to blind all the fellow resort stayers in my bathing suit. But before any of that I am now off to work, for the second time today, with zinc tablets and EmergenC packets and loads and loads of Tylenol Flu.

Cross your fingers for me, k?

From the archives...

I'm not sure if anyone else does this but I have probably 50 "posts-in-progress" from over the years that I never quite got around to finishing. In the interest of giving you something to read while I run around frantically like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready for the honeymoon I thought I would post a couple.

This one is from May of 2007. Before TheBoy and I had what turned into the last of the knock down drag out fights over the future of our relationship, before we bought our home, before we got engaged and then married this last summer. It's been a year of changes since I wrote these words and I apologize that its incomplete... While I distinctly remember the feelings behind this post it feels fake to go back now and finish it.


**********


I don’t know how old I was when I first read these words. I know that I didn’t even know they were song lyrics until I tried to Google the author recently. I thought it was a poem… But the sentiment haunted me. It still haunts me but now it rings true. Perhaps it was a premonition?

I have a hard time expressing my emotions sometimes. I’m not that girl you know? The one who cries to her friends all the time and wants to talk about her feelings. I’m a strict ignore it til it goes away or explodes kind of girl. This is maybe not a good thing but it works for me. Tears make me uncomfortable. Especially mine.

So I dreamed we were somewhere
And everything you said was real
And everything I said was right
That we don’t have to fear the night

I always say the wrong thing these days. I feel like I have to censor everything I say. I just want to go back to feeling carefree and easy. Back when things were easy.


Then I’m in light and I still find
That when we look around we still feel
Like were running out of time
And there is nothing left for us to try

My friend Tammie said to me the other day, after maybe too many cocktails but I know she loves me so I let it slide, that she was afraid I’d wake up one day… 6 more years down the road and regret all the time I’ve spent waiting for something that may never happen. Only then I’d be 34 and maybe a little bitter and I’d have to start over, alone, after 12 years with someone who ended up not being the one after all.

We stay together now
When all the signals say we
Should move on from here

But I don’t think its coincidence
And I don’t believe in accidents
Its time to ask ourselves
Why are we still here

Is love enough?

Come back down and we still find
That all our waking fears are around us and
Shining in our eyes
They are blinding out the skies

Why is it that I can go days, weeks and months without a single reminder of the life I’m giving up and then sometimes… I just can’t escape it.

Something still you don’t give me
Something that just won’t break
You sit there silent in your place
And try to see your face

I need something from him – something unbreakable. A commitment that goes beyond his word, a promise made in front of our friends and families, a last name. He’s my best friend. I know the fear – I’m afraid too. But if he would take my hand I would jump. We could take that leap together.


Why do we still try
When all our time is spent in
Holding on to hope

Bitter Sweet

I'm not sure exactly what I want to say here. And I only have about 5 minutes before work to say it... I'm thrilled to see Obama elected and I'm elated that a handful of measures I was supporting went the way I wanted them (No on 4 - for example). But. Y'all. On what should be a happy celebratory morning all I can do is constantly refresh SFgate.com and watch the tallies of Prop 8. 52% percent in favor with 95% of precincts reporting.

I can't believe that 52% of the people I live around, work with (no scratch that all the women at my company are fabulous), people who shop at the same stores as me, ride the same public transit and walk their dogs on the same streets I go on my morning run down... I can't believe that more than half of these people are so bigoted and close-minded as to have let us approve legislation on one of the most personal moments of a couple's life. Last time I checked no one voted for or against MY marriage just because I happen to have met and fallen in love with a man.

I know that I might be alienating some readers by what I just wrote but the truth is I'm not sure I even WANT those types of people as readers. So I can't bring myself to care. I'm off to get ready for work and am praying for a miracle in that last 5% of precincts. I feel like I might vomit.

NaBlaPoMo

So about 6 months ago I decided I would finally, this year, participate in NaBlaPoMo. I felt I needed the incentive, the motivation, to get back into regular postings. And then I scheduled my honeymoon for the last two weeks in November and blew all those plans to hell. But, I thought I could post at least every day for the first 14 days... I was wrong.

So while I have many thoughts for posts running around my head, posts about marriage and death, about inequality and hope, I will once again NOT be posting every day for a month. But I have resolved to post more frequently. As for what "more frequently" will mean... Its anyone's guess. But thanks to all of you who still come by and visit. I do appreciate it!