The Bitch is Back*

Did you miss me?

It’s okay… I missed y’all too. In fact. The reason I didn’t write anything yesterday is because I spent the day catching up on reading what has been going on in all of your lives for the past 5 or 6 days while I’ve been immersed in the wonderful world of engagement parties and wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses and…

Oh. My. GOD! It’s good to be back y’all.

So let me give you just a brief little recap of the last 6 days.

Thursday
3 hours I slept in (past my usual 5 am wake up time) on my first “vacation day”
1 hour spent making grocery lists and refining the menu for engagement party
1 trip to Costco with BestFriend Liz** for engagement party food stuff
1 trip to Safeway also with BestFriend Liz** for more engagement party stuff
1 time the Groom-to-be came over with sole purpose of unloading the engagement party stuff from the back of BestFriend Liz’s Jeep
1 margarita drank at lunch to recover from morning of grocery shopping
1 fantabulous idea BestFriend Liz had of playing SkeeBall (pictures coming soon)
1 giant beer the size of my head drank while playing (Liz had one too!)
1 new Trivia game discovered
26 times during the day I tried to convince myself that I was not in fact getting a migraine
40 minutes I lasted during yoga before the migraine struck with a vengeance
3 times I can recall in the last several years I have gotten a migraine during the day

Friday
1 Mother-of-the-Bride-to-be who came over bright and early to help prep food Friday morning
1 hour I made her pound steak thin for beef rolls
4 hours she teasingly complained about it to anyone who would listen
1 cake layer I burnt and had to re bake
2 times I had to go back to the store because I forgot things
1 time I sent someone else to the store because good-lord-I-mean-really
1 time we had to go back to Costco because I bought “shrimpy” shrimp
3 batches of brownies baked
39 times (approximately) I said “wow – I can’t believe how much we’ve gotten done!”
40 times (approximate) I knocked on wood after saying the above statement
2 times I ate out – I was cooking for other people therefore I didn’t want to cook for myself
1 movie watched – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (purchased by Liz!)

Saturday
1 bagel egg breakfast sandwich thingy and Odwalla protein shake had at 10 am (note time this will be important later)
1 hour driven to my mother’s house to prep for engagement party
4 hours spent skewering shrimp, rolling flank steak, layering cake, assembling crostini, washing vegetables and fruit and arranging flowers and food to suit my taste pre-party
6 hours spent frantically chatting with guests and making sure people had enough food and beverages during party
1 glass of red wine drank
1 glass of champagne drank
1 time I cried (and thanks to the Groom-to-be for pointing it out to the otherwise oblivious room)
215 times I was told I was drunk – damn this new migraine medicine!
4:00 pm – time the party “officially” started
10:00 pm – time I had to not so subtly hint to people that maybe it was time to go home
1 time I sent TheBoy to the store for more food during the party (I HATE when that happens!)
11:15 pm – time I finally sat down to sat down to eat cold leftovers of pasta dinner from Friday night (the first thing I had eaten since the bagel and protein shake at 10 am)

Sunday
9:30 am – time I woke up Sunday morning – Y’all this is totally significant because 1) I am TOTALLY a morning person! and 2) I missed my yoga class!
1 trip to REI to buy super cute pink and grey fleece jacket for upcoming backpacking trip
1 breakfast at super favorite all time best ever breakfast place – YUM
1 nap while waiting for Bride-to-be to call so we could go shopping for dresses
1 annoyed text message to Bride-to-be at 3:00 pm as to where in the heck she was
1 book finished while waiting – All My Melancholy Whores
1 book started while waiting – The Virgin’s Lover
1 phone call from the Bride-to-be at 5:00 pm saying we weren’t going shopping (grrr!) but she was going to swing by so we could have a plan for Monday
1 dress the Bride-to-be purchased which is super beautiful and I would totally post a picture of except the Groom-to-be reads this site sometimes and well… Y’all know.
1 movie watched Sunday night – Crash (seriously the best movie I’ve seen… maybe ever.
2 glasses of champagne drunk while watching Crash left over from engagement party

Monday
1 breakfast with my mom on Monday morning
2 cute shirts bought shopping with mom
1 cute track suit bought for yoga / gym with mom for only $30!
3 Bridal shops went to on Monday with the Bride-to-be, Mother-of-the-Bride-to-be and the Aunt-of-the-Bride-to-be
23,716 bridesmaid dresses looked at and/or tried on
3 options narrowed down to and carefully considered
1 finally chosen and ordered – which takes 4 months!
5 short months until the wedding y’all!

Tuesday
1 super exhausted Tiffy returned to work Tuesday morning
2,317,894 e-mails in inbox waiting for me upon arrival
2 times my boss hugged me when he came in
4 times I said it’s good to be back
3 times I pulled the picture of the bridesmaid dress up to show it to a co-worker
6 times I pulled up the brides dress to show it off (trust me it’s prettier!)
2 times I e-mailed links to both dresses
17 times I looked at the clock because I was sure it had stopped
1 time I was very glad it was finally 4:30!
1 much needed glass of red wine after work while cooking dinner pre-yoga
1 super excited Tiffy completed first ever headstand in yoga class Tuesday night!

Okay that’s all. But don’t you think that’s enough? Did I lose you all several paragraphs ago? Do you see? Do you understand why I’m so tired? I now need a vacation from my vacation!!!

I promise I’ll be back with photos and general foolishness soon!


*Thank you Sir Elton. “I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch. Oh the bitch is back”

**BestFriend Liz = Saint Liz for sacrificing one of her “vacation days” to help me shop and prep for an engagement party for a wedding she’s not even involved in! Yay for awesome friends! I love her!

Have I mentioned that she’s awesome?

You guys should all tell her she’s awesome too.

Go on. Do it now.