Thursday, August 31, 2006

Too Soon?

How soon is too soon? After a break up to start dating? After you’ve begun dating to call yourselves serious? To move in together? To get engaged?

TheBoy and I had a friend over for a few beers and a movie last night. Well, a few beers for them, I’m still on the wagon given the cold from hell I’ve had after Vegas. I did give it “the old college try” though since it sounded so damn good after our frenzied cleaning spree earlier in the evening but… I gave up after a few sips. Beer just doesn’t taste good if you can’t, well, TASTE it.

And while I’m on a tangent anyway, where did the saying “the old college try” come from anyway? I don’t recall my college days being filled with too much “trying”. I mean I did my fair share of studying, took my fair share of honors courses. But I wouldn’t say I TRIED terribly hard at anything. Hmm… Well I did try hard to master that whole shot-gunning beer from a can thing. Still can’t do it though. I’m just saying.

Sorry. Where was I? Right. How soon is too soon?

So a friend of this friend, an acquaintance of ours really, is engaged. This in and of itself is not news. We’re of that age, she’s of that age. So, what is it that made me choke back the instant congratulatory words and obligatory smiles and questions? I won’t lie… The first thing I thought was, “wow – so soon?”

Now – please, before the “don’t be so judgmental” and “why wait for true love” comments start coming, please, please know that I am (usually) not one to judge. After all, TheBoy and I moved in together after a short whirlwind relationship of less than seven months.

“Ms. Pot?”

“It’s Ms. Kettle calling.”

“Did you know you’re black?”


It’s just that… A year ago this particular acquaintance was in the midst of untangling herself from the ending of a serious long term relationship. It was complicated. It required the division of assets, of friends. The last time I saw her, granted this was several months ago, she was dating someone else. Now? She’s engaged. To a man she’s been dating for four months.

It seems… fast. That’s all I guess. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking about it. My friend’s girlfriend I guess had a similar reaction. Followed by the inevitable… “I want to get married!” His response? A big sigh and a plea to wait… Only 9 more months of law school before he can commit himself to her. And to marriage.

A part of me thinks… What is wrong with me?


Michele said...

Nooo nothing wrong with you at all! Every couple moves at a different pace.

Liz said...

I agree with Michele.

SingleMan said...

I concur with the ladies, nothing wrong with you. Nothing potentially wrong with your friend. If they want to make it work than it will.

Laurie said...

I know all too well what you mean.