A Whole New World

I love Disney movies. Yes, I realize that it’s a little silly that, at almost 30, some of my favorite movies are animated. But I don’t care. I love the humor, I love the whimsy, and I LOVE the love stories. It is funny how many memories I have that contain Disney movies; either the movies themselves, a song from the soundtrack, or just a quote that struck my fancy and worked its way into my every day vocabulary.

The movie Aladdin came out sometime while I was in Junior High. I saw it in the theater and then bought the VHS tape when it was released. I’m pretty sure I knew all the words at one point. I still may. It’s not surprising then that by the time High School came around I would have chosen to watch it on a lazy winter afternoon with my boyfriend. It would have been the perfect background movie while we talked and laughed and caught up after the Christmas holiday.

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

“Do you love him Tiff?” A mutual friend stood looking down at me, with all the seriousness that a 15 year old can possess when speaking about things like love. “Of course” I replied (rather flippantly), he was my boyfriend after all and we had been saying “I love you” to each other for awhile.

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

“No. I mean, do you REALLY love him? Because he told me that he’s IN LOVE with you and I think you could really hurt him.” Gee thanks buddy. Even then I had a reputation for holding a part of me back. I never let someone get too close to me, and I NEVER let myself get too attached to anyone.

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

We were sitting on his mother’s couch. We were home alone. That was a big deal because… Well… We were innocent youth. I had never been kissed at it didn’t occur to me to mind. Hand holding was fun. No need to rush things! I remember we had been talking and laughing but all of a sudden he got very quiet. And then he left the room for awhile.

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

I started thinking back to my friend’s comments. I DID love him, as much as I could given my age. I always was a practical girl. But, I reasoned, lots of people meet really early in life. Heck, if we lived a century earlier I might even be married at that age. The way I felt when we were together was something I’ve never duplicated, even to this day. I felt safe. Like nothing mattered, not school, not fighting with my mom, not therapists or cheerleading or calories… All that mattered was that this boy said he loved me.

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

He came back in to the room, oddly quiet. I teased him – something mature I’m sure. He didn’t laugh. He came over to the couch and tugged on my hands to make me stand. And then he hugged me. We hugged for a long time. I could feel his heart racing and it made my heart beat faster in response. I decided I would let myself feel whatever it was I was feeling. I decided to not hold back. To give 100% of me to this. Just this once.*

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

He leaned back and softly said my name. For years I would have dreams where all I would hear would be his voice saying my name the way he said it in that moment. When I looked up he leaned in towards me and softly touched his lips to mine. Hesitantly. I was shocked, and thrilled, and unbelievably nervous. The kiss deepened and I couldn’t think, I could barely remember to breathe! Finally we pulled apart. He smiled at me.

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

We shared many, many kisses after that first one but that’s the one I remember. Insert what you will about first kisses here. To me, it was perfect. No wonder our elders had cautioned us about kising and being alone together – suddenly it was all we wanted to do. I was definitley enjoying riding the roller coaster of emotions that I was on. We were young and in love.**

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

Of course it couldn’t last. These things rarely do.



*I still don’t give 100% of myself to anything or anyone. It’s a character flaw I suppose.


**I hesitated to use the term “in love” but then I realized that I am skeptical about love now. But then? Then I was in love and sure we were going to last forever. It seems false to deny it now.