An apology and something to tide you over...

I know I've been neglecting the blogging lately and for this I apologize. It's been a rough week at work, the first week of "boot camp" and frankly... I'm just tired! But I promise there are a couple posts in the works including the weekend recap from last weekend with TheBoy's family, "Boot camp" and the torture that is lunges and a few others.

In the meantime I have been tagged. So here's to Nancy!

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1. Travel to Europe (England, France, Italy, Greece)
2. Invest in real estate
3. Own a restaurant
4. Be a sought after caterer / party planner
5. Run a marathon in less than 3 hours
6. Complete a triathalon in a respectable time
7. Give my mother anything she could possibly want

Seven things I can do:
1. Run a marathon (pretty impressive in and of itself I think)
2. Make people laugh
3. Put together a fantastic party (with help from Liz of course)
4. Cook a damn impressive meal
5. Improvise
6. Write
7. Spell (I’m a lean mean spelling machine!)

Seven things I cannot do:
1. Ride a bike (that whole “you never forget” thing is a CROCK)
2. Draw – not even stick people
3. The cool whistle with the fingers
4. Play tennis
5. Hop with both feet together (apparently)
6. Sit around and do nothing
7. Spend money on things I think should be cheaper

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. A fantastic laugh
2. Being able to laugh at himself
3. Sense of humor
4. Easy going attitude (NO Jealousy!)
5. Smile
6. Eyes
7. Tush!

Seven things I say most often:
1. “I’m just sayin’ is all”
2. “Truly”
3. “Have you read my blog?”
4. “Please post something!”
5. “Y’all”
6. “Brownie points for (whoever)!”
7. “Shit” (but I’m attempting to replace that with “Crap”

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Matt Damon
2. Ryan Gosling (The Notebook)
3. Tobey Maguire (Spider Man)
4. Matt Damon
5. umm… Matt Damon?
6. Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Saved by the Bell)
7. And previously I would have said Tom Cruise – but he freaks me the hell out now!

Seven people I'm tagging:
1. Liz
2. Michele
3. Mary
4. Shawn
5. Portia
6. Sabrina
7. Summer

**We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging.**

Tennis too?!?!

Okay I'm trying REALLY hard to be excited about this weekend...

But, y'all know... Tennis? Me?

AND I have to be quiet? For the birding?

*sigh*

Birding... is for the birds!

So TheBoy and I are going up to Sonoma this weekend with OlderBrother and OlderBrother's girlfriend to visit their Mom. Because they are good sons. So, as you can imagine, I'm picturing a weekend of wine tasting (though the no drinking makes that not as appealing as before...) and relaxing* with his family.

But I should have known, as OlderBrother is quite the outdoorsman, that we'd be in for some sort of activity. And in truth I would have really been looking forward to a weekend that involved kayaking... or cycling...

But birding? Yikes. I don't know anything about birds! Except that they are dirty and disease-ridden. I think I'll keep that jewel of information to myself as I suspect somehow it isn't going to score me any points with OlderBrother. Or their Mom.

A quick panic-filled call to TheBoy informs me that birding is really just hiking but with lots of stopping and binoculars. Hmm... So, y'all know how much I HATE being uninformed about stuff. So I did a little Google search and found all sorts of websites**... This birding stuff is pretty darn popular! They have pictures of birds that you can expect to see in various areas and you can even download little MP3s of the various bird calls! Who knew?

So I've committed a few useless facts to memory so that I can at least manage to sound mildly intelligent if the conversation turns obsessively to birds. Thankfully my other skills of nodding and smiling plus a keen ability to change the subject in any conversation should come in handy.

But... (Y'all knew there was going to be a "but" right?) Apparently, while birding, you have to be very, very quiet. (Insert mental image of Elmer Fudd here) Umm... Yeah. Those of you that know me personally please stop laughing! This is SERIOUS y'all!

For those IIF's I've never met let's just say... I am many things. But quiet? That's not even remotely on the list.

*sigh*

Wish me luck.


*Maybe relaxing is a slight exaggeration...

**This one is good: http://www.towhee.net/

The Top 10

Tiff’s Top 10 Turn Ons and Turn Offs:

Turn Ons:
1) Integrity
2) A sense of humor (being able to laugh at yourself/the world)
3) Honesty
4) A great smile
5) Passion (about anything just please, have something!)
6) Water
7) Hugs
8) A “take control” attitude
9) Calloused hands
10) Long, slow kisses

Turn Offs:
1) Lying
2) People who are judgmental
3) Apathy (political or environmental mainly)
4) Being unwilling to try something new/different
5) Body odor / Bad breath
6) Over sharing (when you don’t know someone THAT well)
7) Weak hand shakes (for guys OR girls)
8) Parents who let their children run wild in adult situations
9) A sense of entitlement
10) Negativity

Body Fat Percentages

So yours' truly is going to boot camp. No, no I have not enlisted in the Armed Forces. (LOVE you Armed Forces! Come home safe, okay?) I have basically just gone off my rocker and spent a small fortune (which was totally NOT in the budget*) to get up every morning at the un-Godly hour of 5 am and exercize my butt off. Seriously y'all, I'm hoping the butt goes away!

I know, I know. And you know what's worse? I managed to catch a girlfriend in a moment of weakness and she signed up too! Yes! A partner in misery!

So yesterday was my pre-boot camp consultation. My friend had hers this morning... This is the e-mail I got:

"Well, just had mine! I'm at 22.5% body fat!!! How did yours go?"

Okay... Mine SO did not go that well!

Let's put it this way... Last night after I left the consultation TheBoy and I went out for one last hurrah dinner of Chile Verde and then I bailed on my plans for the evening and spent 2 hours going over the nutrition information the trainer had given me and making meal plans and figuring out how to cut calories.

Then I went to bed.

Yeah.

So here's the body fat chart that they gave us:



My friend? The epitome of fitness.

Me? Well, I'll give you 3 guesses... And the first 2 don't count.


*In other, unrelated news - the budget? Going so well!

Random

Yeah. I know this is boring. And I know I've promised you loads of more exciting posts... But I just got back from the lake. And, interestingly enough, I learned a few things about myself while doing this post.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
Ummm... Driving around like a maniac with my barely 4 months old drivers license, drinking and partying too much, having loads of extra practices for cheer (we wanted to make state that year but, well there was a freak cheerleading accident - maybe I'll add that to the post list) and generally causing mayhem.

What was I doing 5 years go?
Living up the single life after having broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years (High School sweetheart), working in real estate and making ridiculously too much money for a 21 year old and, y'all know, drinking and partying too much.

What was I doing 1 year ago?
Ummm... Either sitting at home on my ass un-employed or working at a friend's dive bar for peanuts to get myself out of the house, battling some serious depression-type stuff, salvaging my relationship with TheBoy and, shockingly, hardly drinking or partying at all! (I try NOT to drink when I'm upset or sad - Makes it worse every time)

What was I doing yesterday?
Driving home from a weekend of wakeboarding and camping at Lake Shasta, being a good girlfriend and driving TheBoy around to "pick and pull" lots, playing racketball (LOVE racketball!) and watching a movie.

What am I doing today?
Working. Later I'm going to my pre-screening for Boot Camp (Y'all know there's going to be stories about boot camp right?) and then to the gym and then out for drinks (only I'll be having water - more on that later) with German who has just announced their impending flight from the Bay Area into Reno.

Five snacks I enjoy:
1) Cheese
2) Berries (any kind)
3) Fritos with spicy bean dip
4) Carrots with spicy hummus
5) And more cheese

Five bands I like:
1) Antigone Rising
2) The Eagles
3) The Beatles
4) Alabama
5) Steve Miller Band

Five things I would do with a million dollars:
1) Get out of debt
2) Finish my B.A.
3) Buy a house
4) Travel
5) Invest

Five locations I would like to run away to:
1) Greece
2) Italy
3) Spain - go Spain you progressive country you!
4) Hawaii
5) Greene, Texas

Five bad habits:
1) Drinking
2) Eating when I'm upset or bored
3) Cursing
4) Avoiding confrontation
5) Not communicating


Five things I like doing:
1) Running
2) Swimming
3) Wakeboarding
4) Reading
5) Cooking

Five TV shows I like:
1) American Idol
2) So You Think You Can Dance
3) The OC
4) The Simpsons
5) Overhaulin'

Five famous people I would like to meet (or would have liked to have met):
1) Queen Elizabeth I
2) Will Shakespeare
3) Bob Dylan
4) Bob Marley
5) Princess Diana

Five favorite toys:
1) Digital camera
2) Palm pilot
3) Treadmill
4) My convertible Z24
5) Umm... the cat?

Biggest joys in my life at the moment:
My girlfriends - LOVE Y'all! You guys keep me sane!

TheBoy.

A great job/boss - FINALLY! (thanks Liz)

Magic + Diamonds = Sucessful 2nd Date

So. On our second night in Minnesota the Boss and I decide to head over to the Mall of America* for dinner. It was, after all, right across the street from our hotel and, y’all know, there isn’t much going on in Minnesota on a Tuesday night. So we found a Ruby Tuesday’s and sat ourselves down for a drink. Much to our delight we discover that it’s 2 for 1 on draft beers! Love you Ruby Tuesday!

Just because this tickled my fancy, I thought I’d share the details of our tab…

2 draft imports @ $4.29 – plus 2 free
2 draft domestics @ $3.49 – plus 2 fee
1 plate of cheese fries @ $6.99
Plus Tax

Grand Total for Happy Hour? $24.87.

For 8 beers and a huge order of cheese fries. Love you Minnesota!

But I digress. That has nothing to do with the real reason for this story.

So, I’m sitting at the bar, thoroughly enjoying my cheap-ass beer. The Boss had gone outside to take a phone call. He got literally 4 feet from his seat at the bar when out of no where appears Joe**. Now let me paint you a verbal picture of Joe so we can all be on the same page… Joe is maybe in his late 40’s. He is a total tow-head and I’m undecided if his white hair was a product of age, of too much sun exposure or was just natural blonde. Um… Joe looks like he’s had a hard life filled with loads of manual labor. And possibly prison time. Truly charming.

His opening line to me?

Joe: “Let me get your opinion on something.”

Me: “Okay…”

(Joe shuffles around in a shopping bag and pulls out a jewelry box. Inside is a really sweet, if tee-tiny diamond ring.)

Me: “Oh that’s lovely.”

Joe: “It’s our second date.”

(I am totally stunned… Seriously y’all it was an engagement ring. Or well it would have been when it grew up…)

Me: “Well that’s nice of you.”

Joe: “Yeah she’s had a hard week. She just got out of jail. And her car got repossessed. And she lost her job. So I wanted to do something nice for her.”

Me: “Well that’s real nice of you.” – Notice my vocabulary has shrunken?

(Because at this point I have discovered that Joe is not all that bright. And perhaps I am a tad jaded and things go a bit differently with the dating in Minnesota but, if I were presented with a diamond ring – that clearly was an engagement ring only not really – on a SECOND DATE… I’d run screaming. Seriously.)

(Some awkward silence in which Joe orders a drink and repeats the above conversation to the bartender and I fervently try to will the Boss back into the bar.)

Joe: “You know when I spend a lot of money I need a drink to take the edge off.”

Me: Polite bewildered half-smile. Mental note – Practice staring at toes and looking unapproachable beginning NOW!

Joe: “So where are you guys from?”

Me: “San Francisco Bay Area – we’re here on business.”

Joe: “Oh. You know there is going to be a strike at the airport of Friday.”

Me: “Well we fly out tomorrow so I think it’s okay.”

Joe: “Oh.”

At this point my fervent willing has paid off and the Boss walks over, sits down and resumes drinking his beer. But Joe? Crazy Joe with the diamond ring? He decides perhaps he needs a male perspective on his second date idea. So out comes the ring, AGAIN, and we hear the sad tale of the girlfriend, AGAIN. Only this time? Joe must have decided that the Boss was a kindred spirit because we start getting details of the date (which is set to take place on Friday). Now the date sounded pretty normal – he rented a hotel room in one of those “fancy” hotels downtown and was planning on getting lobster, prawns and scallops take out from... (wait for it…) Red Lobster. Fine. This is Minnesota after all. Then he describes how he’s going to get some red roses and tie them with black ribbons (?) and that he’s going to sing and play for her.

Yes. Joe is a musician. He plays keyboard. Also, he’s a magician. As in “watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.” Except Joe’s act involves birds. Birds that he is unnaturally attached to. Birds whose pictures he has in his wallet! I don’t think this story could have gotten any better. Truly, it’s like the blogging gods sent him to me just for my writing (and your reading) pleasure. Because I could not make this shit up y’all! I am not that good.

So, before this post becomes an epic of War and Peace proportions I’ll just say that Joe was thoroughly entertaining. He told stories, most of which I suspect were false, and generally provided amusement for the Boss and me. But of course we had consumed 8 beers. At the end of the evening, when we decided that perhaps cheese fries were not sufficient dinner, we wished Joe well on his endeavor and left him to his solitary and now-watered down bourbon with sour mix. Perhaps the girlfriend*** is just as crazy as Joe and will adore the diamond ring and Red Lobster take-out date.

Because who doesn’t love magic?


*More on the Mall of America coming soon to a blog near you.

**Actually his real name. But I figure it’s safe because 1) it’s not like it’s a unique name, 2) I doubt Joe has access to the internet and 3) I SERIOUSLY doubt that even if he did surf the web that he’d ever find this blog.

***Can we call her “girlfriend” if they’ve only had one date?

AKA: Tiffy2

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):

Ginger Evandale

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name):

Brie Lester

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):

Fax Red Pepper

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Cumin Cancun

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):

Baby Bug Atherton

(don't ask)

6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):

T. Cat

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):

Mocha Beer

(I might be on to something here...)

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):

Kitten Menlo Atherton

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):

Croissant Beer

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):

Nicole No Idea

(although in other news I just found out that the town I was born in - Fontana, CA - is now lovingly referred to as Fon-tucky because it's that hick. How perfect is that?)

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician):

Chewy Sweet Tart Matthews

12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in):

Ticat Bafon

The "new" Niners take on Raider Nation

Last Saturday TheBoy and I went to the 49er / Raider pre-season exhibition game at the Park formerly known as Candlestick courtesy of free tickets via the Boss. Wahoo! Love you Boss! But boy, oh boy, were TheBoy and I unprepared for the spectacle that was awaiting us!

First of all we thought it would only be proper to pack up some sandwiches and beer and head up a few hours early to tailgate. And of course, we took the Bronco. Let me tell you, these people? So not kidding around with the tailgating! There were people with full on gas barbeque grills larger than the one my parents have in their back yard. And our sandwiches? So out-classed by the Chateaubriand and Lobster being grilled a few stalls over. We were right on with the beer though. There was plenty of beer drinking going on.

And the fans? With the flags? And the face paint? Oh my... Plus, as I mentioned above, there was plenty of alcohol consumption to be had and clearly some of these fans had a head start on TheBoy and I by hours. HOURS y'all. There was the rather large individual who (I assume) was attempting to dance on the roof of his Suburban. With a Raiders flag. That he was waiving vigorously to and fro in what I'm sure he thought was a very intimidating "Go Team" maneuver. However, it appeared to be more of an epileptic fit... Also, did I mention he was ON TOP of the Suburban? Right. Anyone else see the danger involved?

Beer + Heights + Scary Seizure-Like Jerking + Manic Flag Waving = Impending Trip to the Emergency Room.

I'm just saying is all.

Needless to say, TheBoy and I had loads of fun people watching and drinking beer and eating our sadly inadequate sandwiches... If only I had known! We decided it was probably time to head into the stadium when we realized that there had been no chanting of "Whiner Niners" or "Raiders - You know" (insert secret gang-like symbols being made here) in several minutes. The parking lot was damn near empty! I stole a quick trip over to the Porto-Potties, because previously the line had been insanely long, and managed to take care of business amongst the 100's of beer bottles lining every available space. Is that the thing to do? Leave the beer bottles in the Porto-Potty as opposed to tossing them in the recycling bin 5 feet away? Really someone should tell me these things!

So TheBoy and I made our way over to the stadium and really we were feeling pretty good. I suppose a combination of the compliments he had received on the truck and yours' truly (ThankYouVeryMuch) plus the prime people watching and general hilarity that was the tailgating, had made him realize that sporting events can be fun! Score one for the sporting events!

Oh but the fun didn't end there. You didn't think it had did you?

No sooner had we arrived at our seats than we realize that we are sitting in the middle of "Raider Nation". Seriously y'all, we were out numbered! Now those of you Niner fans know... This is not a good sign. But there were a few home team fans out there and there was general fun-filled and light-hearted bantering going on so we began to relax.

There were 2 couples in front of us. 3 of the people were full on decked out in the Raider regalia and 1 lone woman was representing the Niners. You could tell there had been tons of good natured ribbing going on amongst her friends but she was proud. She rocked. She had a red and gold jacket / hat combo. Now, a few minutes into the game we notice that she is trading insults with a particularly vehement (read: drunk) Raider fan a few rows up from her. But here's where something went seriously wrong y'all. He stood up and came over to her, said something indecipherable and then he hit her! Full on smacked her upside the head. Seriously y'all she fell over!

Oh the outrage! Her date (husband/boyfriend/what have you) jumps on the guy but (unfortunately) security is there in an instant. It's like they have sonar or something! Actually I suspect it has more to do with careful monitoring of Raiders fans, that's just me. But, just in case you missed it, this drunken Raider fan hauled off and HIT a WOMAN! A woman, I might add, who was half his size! Who hits a woman? Seriously! Not surprisingly there were TONS of people volunteering to give statements about what they saw. They took the guy away in hand-cuffs among taunts of "it takes a small penis to pick fights with a woman" etc... And the woman? She was totally fine. Brushed it off and went back to enjoying the game.

And the Niners? They WON y'all! It was a FANTASTIC game! Could it be that the years of the Niners as a major NFL powerhouse are returning? I'm pretty excited about this new team. A girl can dream.

Miss me?

I apologize for my blog-silence over the last several days. I've been in the great state of Minnesota (ya fer shure) doing some work-related training. But, never fear, I am on my way home soon and Minnesota has given me LOADS of fuel for the blogging fire!

Stay tuned for the following posts (among others):

Mall of America - White Trash Wasteland?

Diamond Rings and Musicians = Recipe for a Successful Second Date

And of course there will be general stories of my general clumsiness and embarrassment. Because, y'all know, I shouldn't be allowed out into the general population without a chaperone. I'm just saying...

Oh and I went to a 49er / Raiders game. You KNOW that comes with a story!

Half-Ass Blogging

I stole this from Stacy @ My Life in a Nutshell, who in turn stole it from someone else's blog... But I feel compelled to give you guys fun stuff to read while I'm actually sleeping and not blogging. But knowing my luck - the insomnia will return and so will the random babbling. I promise.

(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) tried chewing tobacco
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) smoked anything else
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car (no but I'm pretty good at crashing my own)
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight (um only once - and then we became friends)
(x) snuck out of parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger (at Christian Day at Great America no less!)
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) joined the mile-high club (no but am dying to!)
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada (too cold!)
(x) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) eaten Sushi
(x) been snowboarding
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) Bungee-jumped
( ) Jumped out of a plane
(x) been surfing
(x) scuba dived
(x) rode a motorcycle (note it says "rode" not "drove")
(x) driven a boat
(x) water skied (AND wake boarded!)
(x) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love/LIKE someone right now (um... Hi Ry!)
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) danced in a sun shower (though this sounds like something I'd do)
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) gone snowtubing
(x) gone water tubing
(x) cheated while playing a game (but I'm not very good so I giggled/confessed early)
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) watched the sun rise (once in Mexico - spectacular!)
(x) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
( ) robbed someone
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu (all the damn time!)
( ) danced in the moonlight (oooh sounds romantic though!)
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) kissed in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them (I loved LOTS of people on marathon day)
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
(x) Had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your toungue stuck to a pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) dived off a high board
( ) jumped off a cliff into the ocean
(x) climbed up a waterfall
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
( ) believe in ghosts
(x) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
(x) played chicken fight
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're beautiful by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone (cracked a bone)
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
( ) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
( ) been kicked out of your house

Did you learn something new about me?? Did you?

Now you go!

50 useless facts about me

1. Your name spelled backwards: ynaffit

2. Where were your parents born? Is US a good enough answer? No? I'll guess Missouri for my mom and no clue about... the other one

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? New baby pictures of Dave and Mandi's son. Michael Philip Atkinson



4. What's your favorite restaurant? Gosh... I like CasCal and CreoLa. And right now I'm dreaming of Anton and Michel's.

5. Last time you swam in a pool? Last night

6. Have you ever been in a school play? Um... Actually no. Not in the strict "play" sense of the word... A couple musicals here and there but not affiliated with school.

7. How many kids do you want? Ha!

8. Type of music you dislike most? Really angry stuff.

9. Are you registered to vote? yes - not that it's helped.

10. Do you have cable? yes

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped? no

12. Ever prank call anybody? LOL - yes... But not in a loooooooong time!

13. Ever get a parking ticket? hell, almost weekly!

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? Sky diving - yes. Bungee jumping - probably not.

15. Furthest place you ever traveled? Aruba

16. Do you have a garden? No, I used to have a few tomato and pepper plants but TheBoy killed them.

17. What's your favorite comic strip? Garfield

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? Yes

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower and always in the morning and on most nights after I've been working out.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Million Dollar Baby

21. Favorite pizza topping? Only one? Umm... Cheese?

22. Chips or popcorn? popcorn

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear? cherry flavored Chapstick

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? Can you do that?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? HaHaHaHaHa

26. Orange Juice or apple? Apple

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine? Chris, Catherine, and Ryan - Round Table Pizza in Redding

28. Favorite type chocolate bar? eh - not so big on chocolate

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls? 2004

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Last night at Sean and Linda's

31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yep, loads!

32. Are you a good cook? I like to pretend I am but lately I've been very unmotivated.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas? Um? Do people NOT know how to do this? Assuming they drive?

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial? No, but Ry did once... The ab thing that electrocutes your muscles.

35. Sprite or 7-up? Neither

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Nope

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy? Umm... birth control?

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? Aw - true love all the way baby!

40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, I think that's lust.

41. Ever call a 1-900 number? I don't think I could stop laughing long enough to!

42. Can ex's be friends? Sometimes I suppose - but not if they do stupid shit. Like cheat.

43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? Doug, when he had his hip replaced

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby? oh yes, bright red/orange and sticking up an inch all over my head like the ugliest halo you have ever seen.

45. What message is on your answering machine? Just the standard "You've reached Ryan and Tiffany..."

46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character? Oh gosh - I have NO idea.

47. What was the name of your first pet? Ginger the hampster

48. What is in your purse? wallet, cell phone, 10 types of lip gloss, digital camera, Palm pilot, finger nail file and clippers, mascara, breath mints and perfume

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime? Snuggle with the cat. Or TheBoy. Or both.

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today? An awesome job and boss - FINALLY!

Oh. My. God. (again)

This is so so so wrong.

Yet, so so so funny.

Especially given this.


*Do y'all notice my new ability to link things?? Thanks Michele!

My kind of calorie counting

This is how I am planning my daily dietary needs from now on!

Notice they give you the calories for the entire bottle?!?!

Way to go Dove!

I am sure you all have seen Dove's ad campaign for their new firming products featuring "real women" with real curves. They are every where. The first time I noticed them I was with my mother and we turned to each other and commented on how refeshing it was to see.



All I have to say is, thank you Dove! You now have a loyal customer for life.

SF (Half) Marathon

I've been simultaneously looking forward to and putting off this post because I, quite frankly, am not sure I can get it out in writing, how tremendous this experience was. But I'm going to try, wish me luck. (Forgive me if this starts to sound like an awards show acceptance speech.*)

Well y'all know, I have been training for a marathon (my 2nd) for 6 months with the San Francisco AIDS Marathon program. This program follows the Jeff Galloway method, which I have to say y'all, really works well. Together, our training group raised over $672,000 for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation! That money (your donations) will support HIV services and prevention programs through out the Bay Area. Until there is a cure...

What a great cause this is and what a phenomenal group of individuals who are so committed to making a difference in the fight against HIV and AIDS that they come out month after month, year after year, to train budding runners and seasoned athletes alike to run (and ENJOY) a marathon. A special thanks to Coach Scott whom I have alternately loved and hated over the past 6 months. I never thought I'd say it but I'm going to miss your perky little self screaming "Good Morning AIDS Marathoners!" into a megaphone at 8 am on Saturday mornings... Perhaps you could call my house and leave it on my answering machine so I could play it every so often when I need some motivation and/or am feeling nostalgic?

To my fellow Z-Girls - I could not have asked for better running partners! If I had to give up 6 months worth of weekends, that I could have been spending with family and friends (being decidedly NOT sweaty), I'm glad I got to spend that time with you. Thank you for sharing all your stories with me and listening to all of mine. We logged over 250 miles together! To Heather, Heidi, Jane, Connie, Marcie and Jenny - You guys ROCK! You are so awesome, so inspiring, I am so proud of us all.

So by now most of you know that I injured my knee during our 23 mile training run in June and have been struggling with recovery since. After speaking to no less than 3 different doctors and trying all manner of stretches and strengthening moves I decided that perhaps I should pay attention to the folks with the medical degrees and only run the half marathon. Can I tell you how disappointed I was (am) that after 6 months I couldn't run the full marathon?? *sigh* I was going back and forth, over and over, until practically the day of the race! The 4 days of food poisoning (a week before the race) was the clincher. Stupid comedy club nachos...

Because BestFriend Liz is SUCH a nice person... She agreed to come up with me to the city on Saturday to the Expo. I don't think either of us was quite prepared for that Expo. First of all, it took us WAY too long to get down the Embarcadero - traffic was STOPPED y'all. And the Ferry Building is soooo much farther down than I remembered. But we finally made it down there and found parking. Upon walking into the Expo all I could think was "good Lord it is going to takes AGES to get through this chaos!" But it didn't! Like the good little sheep I am, I followed all the signs "look up bib number here" "pick up bib here" "pick up timing chip here" "follow arrows to pick up poster, t-shirt and hat" etc... Not too bad actually even though there were roughly 1200 people in that tent. And there were vendors selling cute running things inside, and totally NOT running related, er, paraphernalia for sale outside.

AND while at the Expo I did a mad dash around the area trying to locate the information desk so I could change my registration. I really did try y'all. But that's okay, they eventually figured it out and now if you go here you will notice I am back down in 858th place or something. Right where I should be. But *ahem* I am DETERMINED to make it on the front page of the results in my next marathon! Top 500 baby!

After a semi-quick lunch at Gordon Biersch, in which Liz and I noticed a full on raging bachelor party at 2 in the afternoon! 2:00 in the AFTERNOON y'all. Seriously. I heard one guy say that it was an 18 hour rager... They even had a blow up doll! (Which they proceeded to name Liz which I thought was flippin hysterical but BestFriend Liz wasn't so keen on) In broad daylight! But I digress, where was I? Right. After lunch we headed back home so I could carb-load and rest before the big race day.

The race itself was fantastic y'all. I managed to catch up with several runners I knew at the starting line and everyone was wishing people luck and giving last minute tips and hugs... It was the best feeling of camaraderie. As we lined up at the starting line waiting for the gun, Heather and I commented on the amazing feeling of seeing so many hundred of people in front of you and realizing you are part of something so much bigger than yourself. It was truly awesome. Truly.

The first 5 miles were great, I was making good time, running in familiar territory in Golden Gate park and just generally enjoying chatting with the other runners. After mile 5 we left the park and entered the Haight. Y'all I can't even begin to describe to you the feeling I had running through town. I have goosebumps right now just thinking about it. Y'all there were HUNDREDS of people out lining the course. HUNDREDS! With signs and balloons and they were all clapping and cheering. Some people were sitting on their cars, some were leaning out of their windows with their stereos blaring and some were having little mini-tailgate parties right there on the course. The SFAF had people with signs proclaiming that we were all heros. Street performers were out on the course. The cops on traffic duty were telling us that we were awesome. It was something so much... Bigger. I know I am not explaining it well but... It was... Etxraordinary.

Seeing as this post is already it's own epic (a virtual War and Peace of running), I won't bore you too much longer. My knee started hurting around mile 11 (half marathon is 13.1) and really made it known that it was NOT amused by the running by mile 12. At one point I didn't think I would be able to cross the finish line! But I did hobble across it and y'all, I'm not embarrassed to say, I almost sat right down there and bawled. I guess the experience was just overwhelming. But I managed not to cry and instead I received my medal, and went to eat, drink and celebrate with my awesome, excellent, super duper supportive friends who came up (on the train - we learned our lesson) to see me run. Thanks to TheBoy, Liz and Christine, I love you guys!

So to everyone who has had to listen to me go on and on and on about this marathon over the past 6 months. I did it! And it was everything I thought it would be. Also, stay tuned because, while I promise not to bore you to death with the details of the training any more, I am planning two more runs in the next 6 months. Whether they are full marathons or halfs remains to be seen. But I will be racing... It's addicting y'all!



*Wrap it up!

Sheriff's? On the Train?

I'll preface this post by saying that I am a natural blonde. If by "blonde" you mean taupe and if by "natural" you mean fully high and low-lighted. But there you have it. Since the base color is somewhat blond-ish in nature and I was a total tow-head when I was younger I consider myself a natural.

All of that was to say that last Thursday I had an appointment to have my "blonde" touched up and to have a bit of a trim. And since out of the 3 vehicles currently residing at our home, only one works, I decided to take the train from my office in Palo Alto up to Menlo Park. Originally I had planned on walking but, y'all know... The Knee.

So I pull out my handy dandy train schedule, pick a train and walk over to the train station. As I'm making my way over to the train ticket dispenser thingy this woman walks over to me and offers me her day pass. Apparently she had no other need for it that day and as I was mildly wary at spending $2 for one stop on the train I gladly accepted it.

As I was thanking her I noticed that there were two sheriff deputies standing right there watching this whole drug-deal-looking exchange of the tickets. I thought quickly to myself, surely there is no harm in me using this ticket that someone else bought and couldn't use? I mean it would be a waste, right? But I smiled at the one closest to me and he just smiled back so I assumed everything was A-OK.

But then I started thinking... WHY are there sheriffs at the train station. Sheriffs with full on tazers and guns and walk-talkie radio things? Why? Is this a fall out from the London bombings? Do they have some reason to believe they should be at the train station right now? Seriously y'all, I was getting freaked out!

However, all they seemed to be doing was walking up and down the platform and once (unsuccessfully) trying to catch a pedestrian that was walking along the train tracks on the inside of the fence. Which along with being really stupid and dangerous, is also apparently illegal. The train before mine came and went and there was no big ruckus so I called down and decided that actually, I kind of liked having them there. They were keeping people in line. Because, y'all know, even if there are signs all over the place, there is always that one smoker who lights up right on the platform. And he's usually standing right next to me.

So I was feeling better about the whole thing really until my train came and they got on it! They were looking for someone y'all. There was lots of static back and forth on the walkie-talkies about "do we have confirmation" and such... Thank goodness I was only going one stop! I did not want to be there for whatever was going to happen. Because I've been on the train when a fight breaks out. It involves holding the train between stations until the cops can show up at the next stop to arrest the bad guys. And it takes a LONG time. I had a hair appointment to get to after all!

Then I saw this which explained so much. So perhaps my imagination was just going on over-drive and there was nothing sinister about the "confirmation" on the walkie-talkies. I'll blame it on the insomnia.

Southern-isms

Howdy y'all! (okay is that a bit much?!?!?)

I'm feeling especially Southern today. I cooked up a bit ol' pot of ham hocks and greens and baked a Johnny cake last night and that's what I'm having for lunch today. Yum! But really, this dish couldn't get more Southern unless I had black-eyed peas, fried okra, grits and chicken. But that would be too fancy for lunch y'all... That's Sunday dinner right there!

I was talking to a co-worker and let slip my most often used Southern saying - "I'm just saying is all" at which point said co-worker looked me straight in the eye and said, "what the heck does that mean anyway?" *ahem* So as I tried to explain the intricacies and nuances of the Southern, I had the wonderful idea that I should post translations for all y'all on the blog. That way if ever confronted with a confusing "Southern-ism" you won't sound like the hopeless Yanks you all are!

Here goes: (feel free to send me any additions you might have)

"I'm just saying is all" - the preceding statement was the God's honest truth.
She really shouldn't be wearing those skin tight pants. I'm just saying is all.

"As easy as sliding off a greasy log backward" - pretty damn easy.
Riding a bike is as easy as sliding off a greasy log backwards.*

"Busy as a stump-tailed cow in fly time" - very, very busy. Great visual too.
With all these new deals coming in, Jane is as busy as a stump tailed cow in fly time.

"Do go on" - you must be kidding.
Sam: I'm the best lover in the world!
Jane: Do go on.

"Don't let the tail wag the dog" - show them who's boss.
Remember your lawyer works for you, don't let the tail wag the dog.

"Either fish or cut bait" - do it or don't just make up your mind. I also like "shit or get off the pot" - but I think I heard that here in California.
Pretty self-explanatory. Most often used when talking about relationships, ie: if you want to get married - tell your partner to fish or cut bait. That's a propose or I'm leaving kind of thing. Highly inadvisable.

"Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then" - everyone gets lucky sometimes.
Words of wisdom to a friend going through a spell of bad luck. Those would be the kind of people you tell that if they didn't have bad luck they'd have no luck at all.

"Every dog should have a few fleas" - no one is perfect.
Usually implies that it's okay that you are not perfect.

"Get the short end of the stick" - left out or slighted.
A negative thing. Sort of like "she's a sandwich short of a picnic" or "a playing card short of a deck". Y'all know.

"Go whole hog" - go for it all.
If you're going to do it, go whole hog. Coincidentally TheBoy says "go balls out" which I think is clever.

"Gone back on your raising" - deny heritage or think you're above where you're from.
Billy's done moved up north and gone back on his raising. There ain't nothing wrong with being from Miscogee!

"I do declare" - means anything, but usually nothing.
Thank you Scarlet!

"In high cotton" - coming up in the world or the good life.
We bought a house with a pool and 80 acres. We're walking high cotton now! Beware though, being "in high cotton" generally leads to "going back on your raising".

"In a coon's age" - it's been awhile.
I haven't seen Sam in a coon's age. I personally like "in a month of Sundays" better. But that's just me.
"Pull a plank off the wall" - celebrate.
My mother always said "tie one on" but it's the same thing. PARTY! Although I have had many hours of fun trying to picture where this saying came from...

"Sight for sore eyes" - good to see you.
Damn Jim, you sure are a sight for sore eyes.

"Too big for your britches" - too much pride.
My mother used to say this to me when I was being a smart ass kid. Getting "too big for your britches" can also lead to "going above your raising".

"Well, shut my mouth" - I am speechless!
Seriously, shocking news in my family generally involves a chorus of "Well shut my mouth" and "I do declare". And if someone did something bad you'll hear, "that just ain't right. I'm just saying is all."


*Unless you are me.

Ummm... Ooops!?!?

So. Um. Yeah.

I actually decided kind of last minute to run the half marathon instead of the whole... A mysterious knee injury and Dr's orders, combined with 4 days of food poisoning will do that to a girl.

And Liz can vouch for me that I totally tried to change my registration at the Expo on Saturday. But the woman said "all you have to do is cross the starting line at the half and they'll know that you only ran a half. Well I don't know who "they" are but damn "they've" made me look like a stud!!!

I'll post more on the marathon and the whole experience in greater detail soon. But TheBoy just got home from work (at 10:00 PM!!) so I'm done for tonight y'all. Just thought you'd enjoy the chuckle! Me! In 6th Place! Well actually if you read the fine print - I'm in 43rd place for my age group... But I digress! Me! A 7 minute mile! Ha! I like it!

So the question remains - when I do this race again next year and don't score even remotely close to that... Will people think I've slacked off? Become lazy? Hmm... Maybe this is something to shoot for?!?!

HaaaHaaaHaaaHaaaHaaa! Whoo... I crack myself up!

Jen and Sean DeLapp's wedding

A big heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS goes out to Ryan's cousin Sean and his lovely new bride Jen who tied the knot Sunday July 24th. The wedding was held at the Natural History Museum in Los Altos which is a fantastic setting - I had never been there before. The bride was beautiful, the groom handsome and the ceremony (performed by the bride's brother - how cool is that?!?!) was blissfully short and sweet given the rapidly rising temperatures. Ryan and Josh even got to help out with the wedding at the last minute by ushering some of the bride's family to their seats.

The reception was at Spago in Palo Alto. I had been to Spago a few other times and quite honestly wasn't too impressed however, they really do pull out all the stops for the wedding receptions. Very fun! Also, the people were wonderful and the toasts were hysterical and appropriately embarrassing to the lucky couple. The bride's mother and aunts even got up and sang a couple of songs for the bride and groom, which I thought was sweet.

All in all it was great. And you know me I love any excuse to dress up! Love weddings, love, love, love! So congrats again to the lucky couple. May you have a lifetime filled with the friendship and mutual respect you so clearly share.

(Because the ceremony was brief I didn't manage to get any pictures - I'm new to the whole digital camera thing y'all. But we did get some pictures of the family while we were waiting for the reception to begin.)

Josh and Kristi


Me and TheBoy


Me and TheBoy with his dad and stepmom (Doug and Kate)


Doug, Kate, Josh, Kristi and me and TheBoy


And now y'all all know why I love TheBoy and his entire family... Look how handsome the Mooney men are!!