Insomnia

(And no, I'm not talking about that Al Pacino / Robin Williams / Hilary Swank movie from a few years ago... Though I did think that was a good story.)

So I didn't sleep last night. Again. It's starting to feel like I haven't sleep in ages. But if I concentrate my remaining 3 brain cells long enough I think it's actually been about 5 weeks. 5 friggin' weeks y'all!

I was looking online for tips - because I don't believe in self-diagnosis but I'm pretty damn sure this is insomnia. Womenshealth.gov says insomnia is when you have one or more of the following problems:

*difficulty falling asleep

*waking up often during the night and having trouble going back to sleep

*waking up too early in the morning

*unrefreshing sleep

Let's examine these 4 things shall we? (Humor me y'all it's the sleep deprivation!)

Difficulty falling asleep. Well this starts off positive because any of you who know me know I have no problem at all falling asleep. I have fallen asleep at your houses, in the car waiting for you, during movies, at bars, and once (notably) during a particularly LOUD rock concert. Definitely not a problem for me. Unless there was mass consumption of RedBull during the day... Or I have a date with Harry...*

Waking up often during the night and having trouble getting back to sleep. Ding ding ding we have ourselves a winner! Because while, as discussed above, I have no problem getting to sleep I do have some huge problems with staying asleep. Right now I'm averaging about 3 or 4 hours before I am bolt upright in bed. What the hell is wrong with this picture?!? And seriously y'all, there isn't that much to do at 3 am. I pet the cat. I draft blog posts. I blog stalk people. I read (not my favorite option because I don't usually retain what I've read at 3 am). Sometimes I have fully insightful conversations with TheBoy while he's sleeping. But that's a whole other sleep disorder isn't it?

Waking up too early in the morning. Hmm... I'm torn as to whether this applies to me. See because I like getting up early in the morning. I'm what you might call "a morning person". So it doesn't bother me if I wake up early in the morning. Usually. But when I have just managed to get back to sleep at 5:30 or so... And the alarm goes off at 6:00. I'm not a happy girl y'all. Not at all happy. So we'll leave this one as a maybe.

Last but not least, Unrefreshing sleep. I'm going to have to give this one a resounding yes. Y'all know.

And the effects of insomnia? According to my good friends at women's health they are: sleepiness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and irritability. Oh let's not even get into the sleepiness and fatigue. It's a given. I'm pretty sure my boss thinks I'm hung over. All the time.

The difficulty concentrating? Oh yeah. I have that. I can't even speak clearly. My generally expansive vocabulary has shrunken to about 5 dozen phrases. And I can't even get those out correctly all the time! *sigh*

In my own defense I will not discuss the irritability. But I will take the chance to apologize here to anyone I may have offended in the last 5 weeks. I probably didn't mean it. In fact chances are good that I didn't. Aren't I normally a nice person? But things have been getting to me y'all. Stupid things. And I realize I am being irrational. Also, sleep deprived. So, I apologize.

And I apologize for future irritability too. Because, so far, there is no end in sight.

*Harry Potter y'all. Sheesh. Dirty minds...