Contradiction

I want to be his Angel. I want to be treated like I’m something sacred, someone special, precious. I want to be the light in his eye. I’d like, just once, to wake up and catch him watching me sleep. I’d like to hear the words. I want to know that he respects me, that I’m the one he chooses. It’s nice that his friends and family think “I’m a great girl”. It’d be better if he thought that. I want to be called “Angel”.

But…?

I want to be best friend. I want to be buddy. I want “let’s have fun”, “catch a game”, “grab a beer”. I hate being defined as the girlfriend. I want to be friends first and foremost. And I don’t like being pissed on. Affection is fine. But people know I have a man, it doesn’t take his hand on my ass 24/7 to remind them. I love that he gets that. I want to be equals. Be independent.

I know I’m complicated. Can’t I have both?