Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The meanest things

I'm desperately trying to distract myself from the house negotiations that are going on at the moment. What better way than to spout off some useless babble to all of you my IIF's and RF's too? So see, by reading this nonsense you're actually helping me retain my sanity! Consider it your good deed for the day.

Now we know that I am a blog stalker. For those of you I read regularly, I've started checking out the blogs you link to. And the blogs of people who comment. And the blogs that Blogger recommends on the start page. And so on and so on.

This self-distraction has been going on for awhile! Word to the wise: Buying a house is stressful!

I had a point to all this.

Oh right, so in all the blog reading I've been doing I've noticed that almost everyone has some sort of post along the lines of their happiest moments or their favorite things... And because I'm a sarcastic person I decided that it would be funny to do posts on the opposite things.

I present to you now, the meanest things that have ever been said to me. In general chronological order.

1) "God told me I shouldn't date you anymore."

Spoken by my first serious boyfriend ever when breaking up with me sometime around my 15th birthday. I don't harbor any hard feelings towards him though... He's turned into a really great guy! But I don't think he understands the effect those words had on my feelings about God and the church...

2) "I just can't have fun if you are there."

Said to me by my high school sweetheart while trying to explain to me why I couldn't go to a party at a mutual friend's house with him. How can you argue with that? Also, does anyone else see the warning sign here? Ah, love is blind...

3) "I'm so glad that your mother and I had you. It gives me almost an excuse to keep in contact with her. She was the love of my life."

My biological father. We drove out to the beach when he came out for my high school graduation. I hadn't seen him in over 6 years at that point. I haven't seen him since.

4) "I don't have time for you right now."

As I was trying to break up with my high school sweetheart. Seriously, you don't care enough about me to listen to me break up with you? That's just wrong! Of course we hadn't seen each other in months at that point except for some random effort on his part to have dinner on Valentine's Day. I suppose it should have been clear where I stood in his line of priorities!

5) "I don't understand why someone as smart as you would waste your life on something like that."

My mother (yes, it's true - I suppose it was the fact that we're so close that made this so mean). Over dinner for her birthday after I had just told her that I wanted to pursue my life long dream of owning a restaurant and go to culinary school. It should be a testament to how much I respect my mother's opinion that I have yet to attend formal culinary school. Though I haven't given up on my dream of owning my own restaurant.

6) "I just don't understand the point of it. Marriage seems to be mainly for the ignorant and uneducated. It's an outdated institution from another era. I suppose some day we might as well but there's no reason to now."

TheBoy. And his mother. And his brother. And the brother's girlfriend. Can you say I felt a little bit ganged up on? Ah... Shattered dreams are so bitter sweet aren't they?

Well I suppose that's enough. Those are the first ones that came to mind when I sat down to write this post. And they are clearly the ones that have had the most impact on who I am today. It's amazing how strong and resilient people are that I can now jokingly post about these things that at one point devastated me. Don't you think?


Eeyore said...

God dosent talk, He never did and never will...So why the fuck did he break up with you...It's tottal fucking bullshit >=/


mary said...

"Marriage seems to be mainly for the ignorant and uneducated"

Seriously? I think we all know how I feel about THAT.
They can all kiss this (apparently uneducated and ignorant) girl's ass!

Tiffany said...

eeyore - you can't hold against someone foolish things they said when they were young.

mary - you can join me on the foolish and uneducated team.

but really how does one argue with that? it's so... i don't know... it's almost like it's so stupid that i can't imagine arguing with them and yet they totally feel that way and think that i'm too stupid to argue with!

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lisa said...

One of the meanest things said to me that has never really left me is, "Wow. You're a sturdy girl, aren't you?"

Okay, I'm tall... Not skinny, but certainly not heavy.

But apparently I'm sturdy. Does that mean I'm good for birthin' them babies?

Anonymous said...

I want to laugh, but I don't want to be mean. All those things were horrible. I guess it's just the fact that you posted this is what's funny to me. I have a sick sense of humor. So you know I have to steal this idea.

Tiffany said...

Lisa - sturdy? what on earth would possess someone to describe a woman that way?

I actually had a choir director tell me one time that it didn't matter if I could sing or not... Just to stand there and mouth the words and look cute.


Kate - Please laugh - that's entirely how I meant it to be received! Really if we can't laugh at ourselves...

Well let's just say that when I stop being amused by my own life it will be a sad sad day!

Michele said...

I really don't understand that viewpoint on marriage!There sure must be a lot of ignorant uneducated people in this world huh?