Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Random Tuesday musings...

I'm very unmotivated today... I'm not sure if it's the rain? Or maybe some left-over tryptophan induced sleepiness? Anywho. I did find some strange desire to steal and do another "more than you ever wanted to know about Tiffy" post.

Aren't y'all thrilled?!?! Just beside yourselves with anticipation?? No?

Well here you go anyway...

*****

TEN random things you might not know about me.

1: I have “procedures” for everything. You know, plans, patterns in which I do things. Y’all. The procedure CAN NOT be messed with. I’ve been known to break in to tears if a step is missed or something changes my pattern.
(This sounds like a post in and of itself.)

2: I desperately want to move to Hawaii. I’ve secretly been looking at housing and searching into job opportunities and ways to make connections in my field. I’ve even pretty much got TheBoy on board. My excuse to my friends would be that I desperately need a change. And they all desperately need Hawaiian vacations!

3: I tell people that I don’t regret my past because it made me who I am now. But that’s a lie. If I could erase my memory completely, and the memories that other people have of me, from the ages from 12 to about 21 or so I would in a heart beat. And I would never look back.

4: I have a terrible fear of making the wrong decision and so I tend to wait things out until the decision is made for me. I know this is wrong.

5: I feel compelled to apologize for everything. This morning I apologized to a woman on the street because she turned around abruptly and had to alter her path around me to get by. I also apologize when people are cold, hot, full, hungry, late, or early. I’m not sure why.

6: I have ISSUES with food. I know, I know, everyone does to some degree. But my issues could keep a psychologist busy for a lifetime. I could be the topic of someone’s medical school thesis. I could write a book. Or a series of books! But I’m afraid to talk about it with anyone in any depth because I hate being judged.

7: I am afraid to meet new people. I think that in some way I must be shy, though none of my friends would ever think that. I am terrified of going into things by myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve missed out on things because I couldn’t convince someone to go with me.

8: I have a huge guilt complex. Little white lies keep me sleepless for a week. Hurting someone’s feelings (even inadvertently) will make me want to cry and/or do obsessively nice things for them until I feel better.

9: I associate most moments in my life to songs. It’s like the internal soundtrack on crack. I also associate memories, both good and bad, to places. Also smells. And sounds. Seriously, I’ve moved apartments to “escape” bad memories on more than one occasion!

10: I make mini resolutions every week. Think New Year’s Resolutions… Only I do it more than once a year. Clearly I have to repeat some of them before they stick… But I’m apparently on a path for constant self-improvement.


NINE places I’ve visited

1: Mexico – various cities, some tourist-y some not.

2: Hawaii, Maui & Kaui

3: Aruba! (Thanks to Angie for reminding me!!)

4: Washington DC

5: Jackson, Mississippi

6: Tulsa, Oklahoma

7: Las Vegas

8: Newport Beach

9: Oregon – various locations mostly central and the coast


EIGHT ways to win my heart

1: Listen to me like I’m the most fascinating woman you’ve ever heard.

2: Use adjectives like sexy and beautiful, not hot or cute.

3: Be honest with me – even if you’re afraid to – Honesty will get you far.

4: Be creative. Show me that keeping the magic is important to you.

5: Be thoughtful. Actions speak louder, y’all.

6: Be independent of me and yet desire me at the same time.

7: Make nice with my friends and family. Like it or not their opinion matters.

8. Be kind to everyone. Hateful things are so unnecessary.


SEVEN things I want to do before I die

1: Move to Hawaii (see above)

2: Buy a house

3: Get married

4: Travel for an extended period of time in Italy and/or Greece

5: Own my own restaurant

6: Get certified for Scuba Diving (would be much easier if #1 were accomplished)

7: Be satisfied with my body/weight


SIX things I’m afraid of

1: Myself

2: Dying before I’ve accomplished all I want to

3: Not being good enough

4: Being alone

5: Anger – just in general.

6: Confrontation


FIVE things I don't like

1: Mean people. Really. I’m going to quote my Mama here – “If you don’t have anything nice to say… Don’t say anything at all.”

2: Food that can not be identified by sight or smell. No mystery meat for Tiffy!

3: Traffic. Also, people who can’t drive. I’m just saying…

4: Big cities. They’re nice to visit… But I’m tired of living in one!

5: Crying. Not that I’m a mean horrible person who thinks people who cry are weak or whatever. It’s just that crying freaks me out… I don’t know what to say. I have this desperate urge to fix it – what ever “it” is and more often than not I can’t. So I feel helpless. And I don’t like it.


FOUR ways to turn me off

1: Take me for granted.

2: Have an undue sense of entitlement. We’re all in this game together. No one is better.

3: Poor grooming – bad breath, unkempt hair and nails. I don’t ask that you be a fashion model. Just be clean and presentable.

4: Treat service/retail people badly. This girl spent time on that side… There is no excuse for it y’all. Those people are trying to help you – it’s their job! Give them a break sometimes…


THREE Things I do everyday

1: Think happy thoughts. I know it sounds lame but I think you can choose to be happy.

2: Snuggle with the kitty. And attempt snuggling with TheBoy.

3: Talk to one or more of my girlfriends. And my mom. It keeps me sane y’all!


TWO things that make me happy
1: “Kisses” from my kitty.

2: Long conversations with lots of giggling and wine with my friends.


ONE thing on my mind right now

1: The future.

5 comments:

Liz said...

Ok, I love you and am a little concerned. You are a wonderful person that anyone would be blessed have in there life.

You should be joyed to be you, I am joyed to know you.

Oh and the Hawaii thing, while I would love the idea of a permanent vacation destinaion, you are not allowed to move.

Because my biggest fear is all my friends moving away and I will be all alone.

Please don't erase all the way to 21, we have some serious moments of hilarity, I mean really, you met me at 19. Do you really want to erase Spanish class and the hang overs we endured.

kate said...

Okay for the ten random things I agree with #2,4,6,7,8. We have lots in common girl. I think I may be stealing this next.

Michele said...

I think about moving to hawaii too, I mean who wouldn't want to it's paradise. But I think you need a balance, you know yin and yang. You don't appreciate the good as much without the bad.

Oh, and MV? A big city?

Tiffany said...

Liz - I love you too!

Kate - I told you we were very much the same!

Michele - It's not that MV is a big city so much as the whole Bay Area is one big freaking city! Like a run-on sentence that won't quit!

ran said...

Tiffany,
Once again, catching up on your writing has again brought a smile to my morning. I sometime think about where my life is right now and how I barely know you, yet feel like I do know you better every time I read what you share here. The time you took to give me the advice I asked about was fabulous. So, I'm keeping a list of people I talk to in Colorado. My girlfriend and I are exploring that move in about a year. But what is ironic is that her first choice would also be Hawaii. She and her son went there last year and she fell in love with it. She does not like the cold weather we have here. So, my point is...TheBoy is onboard your exploration of Hawaii...That is a good start...but a total plan of how to attach that kind of move is required. Two and half years ago I made the decision to move here. Now, my marriage is gone which at this point I have no regrets. I could not fix it. I've become a grandpa...I love it; she brings me a lot of joy when I keep her overnight. My kids (19 & 20), even though they live with their mother, depend on me more than ever. The point again, even with a plan, you have to be prepared that things don't always go as planned. I guess I'm trying to give a bit of advice in return for your great advice you shared with me. Thank you again. Time to play grandpa, she just woke up. Have a terrific weekend.
Ran