Happy New Years!

I’m not quite sure how it happened… But somehow, through the drug induced haze and hunger pains from not eating solid foods in 4 days (thanks to TheBoy for this lovely little flu bug! Love you honey!), I’ve managed to drum up some real honest to goodness excitement for the new year. I just know 2006 is going to be an awesome* year for me. I feel like I’m finally taking charge of my life, doing things that are best for me, maybe for the first time ever! And I’ve got several super fun vacations planned or in the works so I can’t complain…

As most of you already know, I am the Queen of resolution making. I make New Year’s resolutions, Birthday resolutions, Monday morning resolutions… You name it. I think it goes along with the list fetish. There’s just something satisfying about this sort of internal ticker I have going. I love removing things from the list as I complete them, and I love the excitement and enthusiasm that goes into adding a new item.

I’m weird though. Y’all knew that. So here are my Resolutions for 2006. Because by posting them out here into cyber space it sort of makes me more accountable to all of y’all. Right? I feel like I accomplished something already!

*****

~ Continue working out with a goal of losing remaining 12 pounds and general toning, especially in arm and tummy regions!

~ Enter (and complete) a couple of 10K and/or half marathon races.

~ Stick to sensible eating plan as discussed with nutritionist – repeat over and over to self, “I have paid a lot of money for this advice… I might as well listen!”

~ Enroll in college courses at SJSU and begin slow and agonizing trek towards completing Bachelor Degree in History (Useful! Yay! Shut up!)

~ Work diligently toward paying off massive, soul-sucking consumer debt. Stick to budget. Limit frivolous purchases. Bring lunch from home.

~ Limit consumption of alcohol beverages to special occasions. Also limit drinks on special occasions to one or two.

~ Be the most Positive and Enthusiastic person I know.

~ Work on establishing regular sleep schedule as per Dr’s advice on insomnia issue. Remember this is why the *Dr* went through umpteen years of college and medical school where as *I* am probably going to be one of the oldest college juniors in my classes. She maybe knows some stuff.

~ Resist urge to cut all of hair off while it’s now in gawky growing out stage. (I know this one is frivolous but y’all? The hair? It has a mind of it’s OWN these days!)

~ Work on showing the people in my life how much I appreciate them every day. Or as often as is humanly possible without becoming an annoying sap. Remember what it feels like to be taken for granted and vow to never do that to someone else.

~ Spend more time with my mother. The woman deserves it for crying out loud! I was maybe not the easiest teenager… And I could learn a lot from her.

~ Make concentrated effort to remain in (or re-establish) contact with friends. These people know a lot about me – it would be nice if I could keep tabs on them! Distance is not really an issue y’all. Love you internet!

~ Get out and try new things. Or maybe more realistically… Two new things. Two seems like a reasonable number right? Two totally new and exciting, and also maybe scary and terrifying, but EXCITING new things. These two things are as yet unidentified… Perhaps I’ll sign up for some sort of lessons – with strangers! Or maybe I’ll travel somewhere – alone! The possibilities are endless!

*****

Okay y’all, that’s all this cowgirl wrote for 2005. I’m off to go flea dip the cat and bomb the apartment. Ah… the joys of being sick on a Friday night! I hope you all have a fun and safe New Year’s. Maybe I’ll be feeling well enough to do a bit of celebrating myself… We shall see. In the mean time, all you kids have fun!


*“Awesome like a hundred billion hotdogs, sir.” (Brownie points for anyone who gets the reference)

We will now return to your regularly scheduled host

Okay, I am now a believer that negativity and stress WILL give you the flu. And also maybe migraines. That is the only explanation I can come up with to justify why, after 10 days of headaches and 4 migraines, I should now have the flu. I mean that’s not fair is it? I think this all can be traced back to me not being the positive and enthusiastic Tiffy that everyone knows and loves and the beginning of the Tiffy who was letting stuff get to her and was being anything but positive and enthusiastic.

So, we’re just kicking the new Tiffy out the door (and hope the door does hit her on the ass on her way out) and welcoming back with open arms the old Positive and Enthusiastic and Optimistically Cheerful Tiffy.

*please join me in a warm welcome for our long lost heroine*

I don’t know what happened y’all. I don’t. I think I was just letting all the indecisions get to me. (Are we buying a house or aren’t we? Will we get engaged or won’t we? Should I open a restaurant or shouldn’t I?) And the stress! And the explanations! Yikes! But I’m better now. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? And the truth is that those decisions have been made and I can’t change them even if I wanted to, which I don’t necessarily. So it’s time to stop letting them take over my life!

Because at the end of the day? My life is not so bad. I have a wonderful group of friends that I can count on, a fantastic mother who teaches me how to be a strong woman, a boyfriend who loves me even if I am crazy, a great job and boss that I love, a roof over my head, clothes to wear (that are 2 or 3 sizes smaller than last year!), food to eat and health. Well I’m working on the health thing. But y’all know.

Bored

Do you see what happens when all of my friends leave town and TheBoy is sick so we haven't even gone out with the few people who are in town that normally aren't??? I go crazy! And maybe do every single MeMe I had saved "for a rainy day" all at once in some ginormous blog post!

Also, I have recently (within the last few hours) developed a nasty cough for which I am planning on murdering TheBoy later. Grrrr... I was really looking forward to a good long work out tonight too!

*sigh*

Well enjoy none the less. This will be added to the list of posts that are more than you ever needed to know.

*****

my name is: Tiffany

childhood ambition: to be a dancer or pop star

fondest memory: summers in Mississippi with Jim or trips to the Oregon coast with my mom

soundtrack: I have a perpetual internal soundtrack – lately it’s got a bit of Kelly Clarkson, some Antigone rising, and Faith Hill on it…

retreat: a beach, any beach – preferably warm weather

wildest dream: to open my own restaurant, to get married, to own my own home

proudest moment: finishing the SF Marathon in July – even if I had to limp across the finish line!

biggest challenge: trying to juggle everything I want to accomplish

alarm clock: annoying beep-y sound

perfect day: waking up early, coffee and stretching before a nice long run, making breakfast for TheBoy and I, something outdoors like hiking, hanging out at the beach or wheeling and then coming home to plan, prep, and cook a huge dinner for all of our friends with lots of wine and laughter

first job: Gymboree (y’all wonder why kids make me cringe?)

indulgence: shoes, food, wine

last purchase: pizza for dinner last night – it was sick boy’s request

favorite movie: Gone with the Wind

inspiration: my wonderful mom and my amazing girl friends

my life: is a little confused right now – but I’m happy

*****

5 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 21

What grade were you in? Junior year in college – is that 15? 16?

Where did you go to school? GGU – I transferred around A LOT

Where did you work?: Alain Pinel Realtors

where did you live?: A condo owned by my bosses in Mountain View

Where did you hang out?: Palo Alto mainly, some downtown San Jose

How was your hair style?: short and bob like

Did you wear braces?: nope

Did you wear glasses?: for reading

sport: dancing… also, this was the year I really got into running

Who was your best friend?: I was in mid-upheaval of my life at that point. Liz and I weren’t speaking, Angie lived in Maryland… I’d have to say it was probably Tammie – or maybe Richelle

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: I was newly single after breaking up with my highschool BF

Who was your celebrity crush?: Matt Damon

did you have more guy friends or girl?: I’d say it was pretty much 50 / 50

Who was your regular-person crush?: This realtor I vaguely knew in passing*

How many piercings did you have?: 5, 4 in ears and belly button

How many tattoos did you have?: none

what kind of music were you into?: country mainly but I loved a little bit of everything

What was your favorite band?: Hmmm… Maybe Dixie Chicks?

What was your biggest fear?: not being able to get away from my past

favorite color: green

Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: oh yes

Had you gotten drunk or high yet? yes - it was a pretty regular occurance back then

Had you driven yet?: yep

Did you have a car? Green Saturn SL1


AND NOW

How old are you?: 26

What school year are you in?: about to go back to my Junior year in college (stupid transfer rules)

Where do you go to school?: SJSU (in a few more weeks hopefully)

Where do you live?: in an apartment in Mountain View

Where do you hang out?: at home, friend’s houses and Ugly’s

How is your hair style?: long and wavy (unless I spend the hour beating it into submission)

Do you wear glasses?: for reading

Who is your best friend: Liz and Angie

Favorite Sport?: running – though l’m into the bootcamp right now also and hoping to start some triathlon training soon (if I can find the time)

Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?: TheBoy (aka: Ryan)

do you have more guy friends or girl? girl friends

Who is your celebrity crush?: Matt Damon (pregnant wife ha!)

Who is your regular-person crush?: TheBoy

How many tattoos do you have?: 1

How many piercings do you have?: still 5

what kind of music are you into: country as always, but also jazzy, bluesy stuff reminiscent of the Rat Pack and some old school hip hop

What is your favorite band?: Antigone Rising

What is your biggest fear?: not being good enough

Have you driven yet?: LOL – this must have originated with younger kids

Do you have a car now? Chevy Z24 cavalier convertable

favorite color: pink

Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: yes and quit

Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: yes though not quite as frequently now – unless there are extenuating circumstances like the holidays


*in a strange twist of fate, said crush called and asked me to drinks literally a week after I began dating TheBoy.

Holiday Weekend Recap

I am so glad the holidays are over y'all. I've tried to get into the holiday spirit - you know focusing on the good stuff I have in my life and all that - but today? Today I am mostly relieved. Whew - thank God that's over and that it doesn't come back for another 12 months!

I did enjoy reading about all of your holiday adventures though! And the holidays weren't all bad! Here's a brief recap - more to come. After all, everyone is out of town and work is slow, slow, slow this week!

1 awkward and painful (for me) dinner with TheBoy's mom and her BF on Thursday
2 friends I tried to call while crying and feeling sorry for myself with hurt feelings after dinner
0 friends that answered their phones
1 happy hour attended with co-workers on Friday (look at me being social!)
1 date with TheBoy
5 beers, 1 glass of wine, 1 Midori Sour (nostalgic purposes) and 1 Capt and Coke drank Friday night
3 hours I spent awake in the middle of the night vomiting
4 hours of sleep actually managed
2 hours late we were to my parents Saturday
2 glasses of wine drank Saturday (my parents don't drink)
3 games of SkipBo played
1 phone call to wish TheBoy's mom a Happy Birthday
1 engagement announced (more on that later)
20 minutes early we were to TheBoy's parents Sunday (we're trying!)
2 mimosas, 4 glasses of wine and 1 martini drank Sunday (TheBoy's parents do drink)
3 phone calls, 3 text messages and 30 minutes spent drunkenly posting to people on MySpace
5 games of pool
1 game of darts
2 hours a very sick and feverish TheBoy slept on the couch at his parents
12 hours spent in bed Monday morning (TheBoy was sick - I was reading)
1 trip to the Urgent Care
2+ hour wait at Urgent Care
5 minutes we actually waited before going home
1 trip to Jamba Juice
2 bottles of NyQuil purchased
2 movies watched

All in all it was a quiet weekend. I managed to drink myself into oblivion 3 out of 5 nights to dull the pain and so far we're on day 5 without a migraine! Unfortunately I think one of the medicines the Dr gave me is making me violently nauseous! I suppose it's a good weight loss plan right?

A light at the end of the tunnel

I am finally emerging from the dark and pain filled space in my brain which has provided me with 4 migraines in 10 days. After many conferences with my Dr, her nurse, the neurologist and her nurse, I have been told the following things:

- My blood pressure is too high

- I am under a lot of stress

- There may be something wrong with my eyes even though I have "better than perfect" vision*

Exciting huh? Merry Christmas to me. So I have been to the chiropractor, the aromatherapist (don't judge - I'd do anything to get rid of migraines) and the pharmacy for loads of new drugs. And I have strict orders to get my ass back to the gym and to R-E-L-A-X!

Also, I'm supposed to figure out what the source of my stress is so that I can mitigate it. Silly Drs... Of course I know what the source of my stress is! I just don't want to discuss it with them. Or anyone. I can't. And there is no mitigating it. If there were don't they think I'd be doing that? As opposed to lying in bed in a darkened room in excruciating pain for days on end?? Seriously, I'm not a masochist!

*sigh*

However, I do have a fun date night planned with TheBoy tonight which should help me over the migraine hump and on to holiday cheer and all that jazz. I'm really looking forward to it! I think dating is important whether you've been together 5 months or 5 years.

Also, I just had coffee with a friend that I don't get to see very often (at least not one on one) in which I remembered all of the wonderful things I liked about him in the first place. It was nice. We just chatted away an hour or so over coffee. Just what the Dr ordered I'd say!

So to all of you - my faithful blog friends - I say Happy Holiday of your choice. I wish you all days filled with friends and family. And wine. Because these are the things that are important. I'll be back in a few days with a recap and I can't wait to read about all of your crazy holiday antics!

Love, Tiff


*What's better than perfect? Isn't that the point of perfect? Nothing better? I'm just saying is all.

What does your name mean?

I thought this was fun. Go here and click on "general info" on the left hand side, then "name meanings" and enter your name. Let me know what you find out! I like mine... I bet my mom had no idea!!


Tiffany
Manifestation of God : Greek

You are responsible, determined and tenacious with sound judgement and the ability to inspire others making you ideal for positions of leadership. Having broad vision you are happy to accept the challenge of handling large projects which others may find too demanding. With your keen intuition and inventive mind you are always seeking answers. Fair and just you have a warm and compassionate nature which attracts many friends.

Stupid Blogger!*

Is anyone else experiencing "technical difficulties" with Blogger?? Specifically something about having no cookies or Java enabled when clearly you do?!?!

*sigh*

So I've been trying to NOT ignore the blog so much but it's taking me ages to actually get posts in!

AND my post from yesterday had a super cute photo to go with it but Blogger was having none of it! I could click to add it, it would say "done" and that it had been uploaded but... Nothing.

Apparently it's going to work today though so here you go, the lovely Miss Elly standing *next* to Santa:



I am now going to walk away from the Blogger before I drop kick my very expensive and company owned computer through the window. I'm just saying is all.


*PS - also shouldn't Blogger's spell checker recongize the word "Blogger"???

Scary Santa

I'm alive!

I'm just feeling a little under-whelmed by the holidays... But I'm working on it. TheBoy and I have holiday themed events for every night this week so Bah Humbug to me.

In the mean time I thought I'd pass on an amusing story from one of my closest girlfriends. Keep in mind that I don't have children nor do I hang around children if I can help it so I had no idea the following was even possible.

Enjoy!

*****

Elly and I discovered Chico Mall within a week of moving here. Around the middle of November, at one far end, a veeery large chair was placed inside of an area decorated like the North Pole; it had dancing elves, giant candy canes, and boxes wrapped in decorated paper with bows, stacked into a huge pyramid. Naturally, Elly was rather intrigued, so Mama went on to tell that Santa would sit in that special chair, so that kiddies could come sit in his lap and tell him what they'd like to receive on Christmas morning..... In that first trip alone, we must've gone back to look at that impressively grand chair three times!

We ended up seeing that chair in it's arctic (but vacant) resplendence on three separate occasions. Mama didn't think Santa was planning to make an appearance before Thanksgiving, but lo and behold: the Tuesday before Thanksgiving Mark, Elly & I went to go make sure that nothing had changed about that chair..... Much to our surprise, we found it filled! As we rounded the corner, Elly saw much more quickly than Mama or Daddy that it's rightful occupant had taken up residency -- so she started screaming like a banshee!!!

Prolific tears, howling, and death-grips-of-parents ensued..... Even Santa looked a little perplexed -- and we weren't any closer than 15 yards away! However, before we knew it, a teensy weensy infant of maybe 4 weeks old went ahead of us, and handled her visit like a champ. Well, Elly wasn't going to be shown up by some teensy weensy baby!! So after much praise, wiping of tears, several faltering starts, and screwing up of courage, Elly managed to sit in the chair with Santa long enough to hold a pose -- mind you not IN his lap, but NEXT to him!

Holiday Fun

You know normally Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year... But this year I'm having a hard time getting into it. I'm not sure why that is. May require some pondering... I'll let you know if I come up with anything other than I'm crazy.

And I'm feeling MUCH better today so thanks to all of you for your thoughts and kind words. Though Ryan is out sick AGAIN today - 2 days in a row! I think that's happened maybe 1 other time in all the years we've been dating. This cold thing must be really kicking his butt!

Here's a little holiday foolishness to start your Hump Day.

(you know I love these things!)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate! Mmm… It’s the only time I really LOVE chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Wrapped – totally.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White. Though, like Liz, my mom always had colored lights when I was a kid… She’s switched to white now though.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
If I’m entertaining I will but this year I’m not.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Depends. I usually do it the weekend after Thanksgving or the first weekend in December. This year I haven’t been in the mood. I put up a few things but the rest went back into their boxes and back down to the garage.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Mmm… So many choices! I’d have to say biscuts and sausage gravy for Christmas breakfast. It’s pretty much the only time I eat it!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Getting together with all of my aunts and my uncle and all the cousins at my garndparents house when they were still married and living on the Oregon coast. We’d get all bundled up and run around playing with our new toys. Or sometimes my grandpa would pack us all in the Spruce Goose (his truck) and take us all down to the beach to play in the sand and freezing cold water. Grandma would always have some sort of warm treat for us when we got back. Gosh I haven’t thought about that in years!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I’m not sure… I don’t remember ever believing in Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
I always wanted to do that! All my friends did it and I used to beg and plead with my mom every year and it was always strictly forbidden… But the last couple years since I’ve been splitting hoildays between TheBoy’s family and mine it always works out that we’re opening presents with various people for days!

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him?
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done that… I’ll have to ask my mom.

11. Snow, Love it or Dread it?
Hate it. I’m a sunshine and warmth kind of girl.

12. Can you ice skate?
Yep – though not well. I’m a little rusty I suppose, it’s been years since I’ve gone!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I love all gifts! I’m not picky, if someone took the time to buy/make/wrap something I’ll love it.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Being with my friends and family. Realizing how blessed I truly am.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
I’m not a huge desert person… Does desert wine count?

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Definitely the Annual Holdiay Cocktail Party with BestFriend Liz!

17. What tops your tree?
A star.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving?
Giving. I am an awkward gift receiver… It makes me uncomfortable!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
Baby It’s Cold Outside = Fun. O Holy Night = Beautiful.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yuck. But I have been wanting to try a candy cane martini…

Splitting Headache...

I have been known to say in the midst of a migraine (or shortly in it's aftermath) that I would love to just get a regular old headache one day. Because as those of you who suffer with migraines know... It's a journey into the black abyss and ANYTHING would be preferable to one. Red hot pokers in the eyes? Sure. Head in vise grips? No problem. I absolutely believe that a regular headache is nothing compared to a migraine.

But could someone please turn off the jack hammer in my head soon?

TheBoy has been complaining of a sort throat for the past several days and today he's actually taking a sick day (which is odd for him) because he feels so badly! And of course this morning at about 3 am I woke up with a sore throat and my friend the jack hammer. I'm telling you, this thing is invincible! No amount of pain killer can stall it! Thanks to TheBoy for sharing with me... So sweet.

Anywho, the last few days have been hectic so I apologize to my faithful readers (all 2 of you) for my lack of blogging lately. I promise to resume regular blogging scheduling shortly. In the mean time let me give you my weekend recap, starting with Friday.

1 memorial service attended
1 glass of wine at reception
0 times I gave way to the panic I was feeling in relation to attending above service
1 much needed lunch with friends after service
1 time I tried to crawl into bed in my PJ's at 6pm on Friday
1 time I got dressed back up because TheBoy demanded it
3 bars we went to on Friday night
1 holiday party that I didn't plan on attending that I actually went to
5 awkward moments at above party
2 beers at first bar
2 greyhounds at second bar
1 greyhound & 1 lemon drop at third bar
2 times we had to send back the lemon drops (once the glass was broken and the second time the bartender put salt on the rim instead of sugar)
1 vodka cranberry made by Angie who is incredibly heavy handed drank at holiday party
2 Jaeger/coke shots I took at party even though everyone knows I can not STAND Jaeger
1 really really drunk Tiffy who said all sorts of inappropriate things and apologizes profusely to anyone who may have witnessed the above spectacle
1 very very sick Tiffy on Saturday morning
1 Jack in the Box breakfast and LARGE sprite TheBoy brought me Saturday morning
6 hours spent in bed reading Saturday
1 Taco Bell dinner finally kept down at 5 pm
1 beer managed to choke down in honor of out of town guests
1 movie watched while visiting out of town guests
1 movie slept through
1 very drunk TheBoy I drove home Saturday night
5 hours spent shopping with TheBoy on Sunday for holiday/birthday gifts
1 holiday party attended Sunday night
1 Billy Bass singing fish won by TheBoy during White Elephant exchange
1 Twister game that we brought and also took home from White Elephant exchange
3 glasses of wine drank at party
0 times I said out loud what I was really thinking during party (yea me!)
1 (hypothetical) boss who was back at (theoretical) work Monday am (this was a happy thing for me)
4 times I was told what a great job I had done in his absence the last couple weeks
1 birthday party for TheBoy's step-mom attended last night
4 glasses of wine drank at dinner
1 well received desert made by yours truly for dinner
1 awkward scene between TheBoy and myself which we are ignoring today
2 times I had to be woken up and moved from where I randomly fell asleep at party
4 hours total I think I managed to sleep last night (including the hour at the party)

So to recap, that was 3 parties in 4 days plus a funeral, roughly 12 gallons of beer and wine drank and twice I was sick, once brought on by myself and once brought on by a germ-y TheBoy.

Can I go home now???

Photos!

I love my digital camera! And I love taking pictures with it! But maybe I'm not so good at actually sharing those photos...

*ahem*

Here are some pics of Christine's birthday party, which was maybe last month. Better late than never? Unfortunately none of the group shots of us in the Karaoke room came out well. But there are some cute ones of the group at dinner.

Liz and Michele


Mischa, Christine (the b-day girl) and Michael


Angie, Erik, me and Ryan


And these ones are from Liz's birthday, which was just last weekend so I'm getting better! The first ones are at the restaurant - the last few are at Ugly's.

The group


The group with me


Just the girls




Fab 5 (at Ugly's)




And last but not least... Me and the Birthday Girl!

What am I reading?

Many thanks to Cupcake, or rather to BBrub who commented on her last post, for the new "What I Am Reading" link on my sidebar!*

I'm sure you all remember when I was going to post every month about the books I've read?? Yeah. Turns out that's a lot of work! So what I'm going to try to do now is show you what I am currently reading and then, if the book truly tickles my fancy, I'll post a review of it here.

For example - I just finished The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger which I thought was FANTASTIC! I couldn't put it down! It's a little similar to the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon (which I may have mentioned I'm a fan of? no?) in that it's got that whole time travel and love through out the ages thing going on. But so, so good!

And I relaize that I am probably the last person on the planet to read Kite Runner. I swear everytime I have flown somewhere in the last 2 or 3 years I've been sitting next to someone on the plane who was reading this book! Don't ask me why it took so long for me to actually buy it and read it, but... WOW. I haven't finished it yet... But I'm close! It's fantastic y'all. Really.


*Kate - you HAVE to get this!

Ha!

You're Bettie Page!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What is it about the holidays?

That makes perfectly sane women crazy? So, I don't know how many of you out there read Post Secret but there was an entry on there this week that I have not been able to stop thinking about.



Except in my case it would be my father who chose his new wife and her children over me... And after 5 or 6 years of not speaking to this man I found myself on Google this afternoon looking for his name. He's still listed in the phone book in the town I thought he lived in last. And thanks to Google Maps Satellite I can see that he lives in a house on the edge of town with a large yard.

WHY do I do this to myself? The fact that we don't speak is my choice - was my decision. He tried to get into contact with me several years ago... And we traded a few tense e-mails and strained phone conversations. But he had to call me only from work because heaven forbid his wife know he was calling me long distance. And the man has had a sad life, seriously his family (I suppose theoretically they're MY family too huh?) has issues. And I feel badly for him... In that detached, abstract, tragedy strikes a stranger sort of way.

And yet... I used to be such a Daddy's girl. I loved spending summers with him. Even if the man had no clue and I sat in his apartment all day by myself watching TV while he worked. Even if all we ate was McDonald's and Campbell's Chucky Soup over rice. It was worth it for those few hours and days just to be with him. I would always board the plane to visit with eager anticipation and board the plane coming home overcome with tears and making myself physically ill with misery.

I feel guilty about that now. My mom is the best mother on the planet as far as I'm concerned. Despite a brief rough patch in high school she is one of my closest friends. My confidant. My biggest cheerleader. My rock. And my father? Turns out he's not great at it. The man can not be alone. Unfortunately I was the sacrifice that had to be made.

I remember my 8th grade graduation. My mom had let it slip that maybe, just maybe, my father was going to make it. He was planning on it she said. It had been 2 years since I had seen him. I sat up there on that stage anxiously watching the doors. I made it through my speech and still no sight of him. I made it through the accepting of the diploma with tears in my eyes. Afterwards I remember crying to my then boyfriend (now friend) how disappointed I was that he didn't make it.

I think there were a few sporadic phone calls through high school. Christmas. My birthday. And then he decides he's coming out for my high school graduation. First it was going to be a family trip - him, the wife and her daughter and son-in-law and her son. I was plainly not thrilled about this. The first time I'm seeing him in 6 years and I have to share him? He decided to come alone. Needless to say the trip was a disaster. We had nothing to say to each other. We were perfect strangers.

A couple years after that his father passed away (I don't think of him as grandfather - I never met him) and shortly there after one of his brothers passed away also. Apparently something like that triggers a sort of life re-evaluation. He remembered wait - I have a daughter - someone out there with half of my genetic make-up. But by then I was too angry, too bitter, too hurt to accept it. And it's difficult to grieve for people you don't know. Yet I felt like my father thought we should be grieving together for OUR family. Not quite...

So I cut ties. There have been two feeble attempts on his part and I've had to threaten my mother with bodily injury not to give out my phone numbers anymore. He keeps in touch with my mother. She was the love of his life he says. I don't ask. She doesn't volunteer information. And most days? This arrangement suits me just fine.

Until the holidays...

Fours

I'm not quite sure what possessed me to take not one but 4 shots of Captain Morgan on an empty stomach last night. I don't even like Captain Morgan! I'm pretty sure it had something to do with my very long, very emotionally draining day at work yesterday. Anyhow, that on top of numerous other things is leaving me completely void of blogging fodder. And we all know what that means don't we? Right. More MeMes. This one was stolen from Liz.

*****

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1 - Retail Sales (Gymboree, The Game Keeper, Papyrus, Bloomingdale's)
2 - Bartender
3 - Administrative Assistant
4 - Licensed Real Estate Assistant / Buyer's Agent

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1 - Gone with the Wind
2 - Top Gun
3 - Dirty Dancing
4 - Robin Hood (the Disney one... where Robin and Maid Marian are foxes?)

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1 - Fontana, CA
2 - Cibolo, TX
3 - Menlo Park, CA
4 - Mountain View, CA

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1 - American Idol
2 - Simpsons
3 - Family Guy
4 - The OC (shut up! I realize I'm about 10 years to old for itÂ…)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1 - Aruba
2 - Cancun
3 - Hawaii
4 - Vegas

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1 - GMail
2 - Blogger
3 - Yahoo! Weather
4 - MySpace

FOUR OF YOUR ALL TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1 - La Fondue
2 - Cassanova
3 - Evvia
4 - Anton and Michel

FOUR COSTUMES YOU'VE WORN ON HALLOWEEN:
1 - Cat
2 - Naughty Catholic School Girl
3 - Angel
4 - Disco Diva

FOUR SCHOOLS YOU ATTENDED:
1 - Menlo Atherton High School
2 - Foothill College
3 - Menlo College
4 - San Francisco State

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1 - Anything Mexican!
2 - Home made spaghetti
3 - Baba Ghanoush
4 - Rare steak with a loaded baked potato

Weekend Recap

So. Tired. Must. Sleep.

What is with the insomnia going around? I've got it, Liz has got it... Is it the stress of the holidays? Because seriously y'all, I've consumed enough wine the last few nights to ensure that I sleep heavily and happily through the night. But no.

Anyway, this was a fun weekend with BestFriend Liz's birthday and all! I promise to post pics later... Once I remember to grab the cord thingy to connect the camera to the computer. I also am errant and have photos for Christine's birthday last month to post. Bad Tiffy!

Here's my weekend recap - in no particular order:

2 slices of BBQ Chicken Pizza at the Oasis dreamed of for a week and eaten by me on Friday

2 old friends from college that I got to see on Friday night

1 appearance of drunk Liz on Friday... I love drunk Liz, she's so giggle-y and fun!

1 Birthday brunch cooked - my first ever! And if the food was a little burnt the girls humored me by pronouncing it fabulous and washing it down with mimosas

1 long overdue pedicure and manicure

5 CD's bought at Target

2 books bought even though I have probably 4 or 5 books at home that are still unread

1 registration fee and application sent in so that I can (finally!) finish my B.A. (Although I am a tad nervous to be going back to school after a 5 year + absence!)

1 book finished - The Time Traveler's Wife which was excellent! Seriously, couldn't put it down...

1 Birthday dinner at CreoLa

3 rounds of after dinner shots made by Carrie at her bar for the Birthday girl...

3 shots taken by the birthday girl even though she was mightily protesting at least the last two

1 scalding bath taken because the temperature in my apartment is sub-freezing

1 trip to the mountains to go cut down a Christmas tree

1 hour TheBoy and I spent decorating the tree/apartment before our attention wandered and we started watching Miss Congeniality instead

1 glass of eggnog drank which was probably 50/50 with Captain and yet still composed 80% of my calorie intake for Sunday

1 super yummy Chile Verde burrito from Garcia's eaten

When your friends start having babies...

You stop getting e-mails with pictures of half naked hot firemen or dozens of soldiers on an aircraft carrier in flag boxers and you start getting e-mails like this:

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

Hmmm… I always had some form of musical instrument. I think I had maybe 3 or 4 keyboards over the course of my childhood and one year I got an Appalachian Dulcimer which was awesome! I wonder whatever happened to that…

Also, I had a doll. Her name was Molly and my mother still has her in the bedroom that was mine for the brief time I lived in their house in Livermore. I loved that doll! Just thinking about her brings back warm fuzzy feelings.

And I can not forget my teddy bear Stitch. I’ve had him since I was born. Unfortunately he had to go back to live at my mother’s house with Molly because TheCat developed an over-keen interest in him. He already has a wonky stitch on one of his toes from some unremembered childhood incident! Currently he’s wearing a teeny little red t-shirt that says “Tiffany” on it. Which apparently used to fit me – but I don’t buy it!

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

Food. It pains me to see so many people who are hungry out there. I think it’s triggered by the fact that I have so many issues with food myself. I mean my biggest concern these days is making sure I eat the right things at the right times according to the Nutritionist. How is it right that I can be so picky and somewhere there is a woman just like me who would be so thankful for all the things that I’ve thrown out?!?

Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

This is a tough question to answer; I mean we’ve been together almost 5 years! It’s not so much that I sit and think about him constantly (though lately I won’t lie, there has been increased thoughts of him and our future). It’s more like a constant stream of his thoughts running through my head. Like if someone is telling me a story – I’m thinking of his reaction to the story as well as my own. Does that make sense? I can’t explain it.

Main Course
Name something you believe in 100%.

The Golden Rule. I know it’s cheesy but… I’m a firm believer in you get out what you put in. I always try to put myself in the other person’s shoes and react or respond accordingly. I think that life is to short for unkind words or silly misunderstandings.

Dessert
List 3 things you did this year that you would consider a "good deed."

1) I raised money for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation while training for the SF Marathon in July. I was part of a training team that encouraged one another, laughed with one another and cried tears of joy and pride when the day was over. I hope that I helped those women as much as they helped me. And together I know that we made a difference for local people living with HIV / AIDS. Until there’s a cure…

2) I have, together with my wonderful group of friends, planned several birthday parties, happy hours, camping/wakeboarding trips and other miscellaneous events. Because y’all? That’s what is important at the end of the day. I don’t want to be remembered for jobs I held or money I made, I want to be remembered for the friend, daughter, and person that I was.

3) I donated blood every 8 weeks pretty religiously. Those of you who know me in “real life” can attest to the fact that this is one of those things I can get up on a soap box about… I really don’t understand why anyone, who is otherwise healthy and able to, wouldn’t make the time (less than an hour) and go donate blood every few months. It makes such a real difference! It’s so, so important!

Open Letter to the Manufacturers of Auto-Flush Toilets

Dear Sirs,

I realize that the innovation of a toilet that flushes on it’s own without people having to actually touch a handle was a wonderful day for mankind. I was just as tired as the next girl of balancing on one foot while I kicked the handle with the other. Truly you men possess great mental prowess and should be applauded.

So it is therefore with great sadness that I point out one tiny little flaw in your design. Because clearly you must not be aware of this flaw or there would have been a nationwide re-call on toilets. And while I realize that the logistics of removing and replacing, or retrofitting 100’s of 1000’s of toilets may be a bit daunting, I’m sure that once I have enlightened you to my plight you will understand the necessity of exactly that.

According the US Department of Health and Human Services the average American woman is 5’3.7” tall, or for sake of ease, roughly 5’4”. Keeping in mind that this is the “average” you must therefore assume that approximately half of women are shorter than this. I am one of these “petite” women.

I believe that if you examine your product closely, you will see that the sensor which tells the toilet whether someone is sitting or standing is positioned so that a petite woman is barely registering. In most public restrooms the toilet paper is located just slightly out of easily reachable distance, at least for the petite woman. The effect of this being that in order to reach the TP a woman must lean forward thus removing her from her place in front of the sensor which she barely triggered in the first place resulting in a bit of unexpected and unwanted splashing of cold water and toilet bowl contents.

That’s not a very pleasant thought is it? I’m sure that, now that you are aware of this most distressing defect in your product, you will be taking immediate measures to remedy the situation in order to alleviate the unnecessary pain and suffering that your toilets are unwittingly causing for petite women everywhere.

Because hell hath no fury like a woman with a soggy bottom.


Sincerely,

A concerned (and splashed) petite woman