Wednesday, January 18, 2006

The Song Remembers When*

And there was a God in Heaven
And the world made perfect sense
We were young and were in love
And we were easy to convince
We were headed straight for Eden
It was just around the bend
And though I have forgotten all about it
The song remembers when

For even if the whole world has forgotten
The song remembers when

I forget sometimes the way it felt to be newly dating now that TheBoy and I have been together so long. I get more caught up in the mundane details of the now and the future of our relationship and forget to spend time reliving the details that brought us together and made us fall in love in the first place. I hate that I do that. I am resolving from now on to spend more time focusing on the great things in our past and less time on the uncertainty in our future.

Like the first time we spent any time together just he and I. He had come to my place with a mutual friend and we had walked down the street for margarita happy hour. When our friend had to leave we all walked back to my place and as I was hugging my friend good bye he caught my eye over his head and winked. Next thing I know he’s telling our friend that he thinks he’s going to stay and I hear myself saying that I know of a good Mexican place for dinner. We thought we were being so sneaky! And how cocky was that, to just invite himself to stay knowing he had no car and would have to depend on me for a ride home! I loved that he was so confidant in himself and so sure I must be feeling the same thing he was feeling about us. He was right. That was an awesome night. It was the first night we kissed.

I love how he would invite me over for a couple of drinks and then insist was too drunk to drive and absolutely MUST stay the night. I love that nothing ever happened on those nights beyond a few kisses and hours upon hours of conversations. I love how I felt so comfortable with him right off the bat. I remember how I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could and yet I forced myself to go home some nights because I was afraid we were getting too close too fast. I loved how willing he was to meet my parents only 2 months in.

I joke all the time about how he tricked me into this relationship. He was in school an hour away and only home for the summer. We started dating at the end of June and he was going back to school in August. I remember thinking that I was glad to have a summer fling because I wasn’t rally looking for anyone anyway. Also, I thought he was too young for me – I definitely didn’t want a college frat boy type and he struck me initially as just that. I also remember being sad one day when I realized that it was August and I was sure he was leaving any day. I was adamant that we were not going to have a long distance relationship. Just what I needed, right? To be worried about all the hot co-eds that he’d be with all the time in college? No way.

I remember how it was all of a sudden September and he hadn’t left. I was dying to know and yet afraid to ask in case he thought that I wanted him to go. I remember the nonchalant way he came over one night after I had gotten off of work and told me that he’s taken a job here in Palo Alto and that he supposed he was staying here. That night got added to the already long list of favorite nights we shared. We drove out to the coast, had dinner, and laughingly joked about the new dynamic to our relationship now that it wasn’t just a summer fling. I remember not knowing what I was thinking only it felt suspiciously like love.

I want to spend more time remembering these things.

*Trisha Yearwood

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

oh how sweet tiff. it is important to remember those things.