Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Soul Mates

I've lately been curious about the whole "soul mate" thing. I grew up believing that there was one man out there who was going to sweep me off my feet, complete me, be my better half, etc... As was becoming for a little Southern girl. However, I am not that little Southern girl any more. So I started thinking... Do I believe that?

The answer is no. But before everyone assumes I'm just a wee bit jaded, here's what I do think.*

So let's talk about what a "soul mate" is exactly. I've heard it described as someone which whom you can be completely yourself, at ease and comfortable. Someone who really gets you as a person. Who understands all the little nuances about your personality and embraces them. Who makes you laugh. Who lets you cry. Am I getting close here? Does anyone else feel like this person must be either a) psychic or b) completely over-burdened?

I feel like I have several soul mates. Of which TheBoy is one. He makes me laugh and loves all of the quirky habits I have that make me, me. We've always said our relationship is easy. We're both very comfortable around each other, we respect each other, life is good. But, he doesn't necessarily get me as a person. While he knows what things I like and need in my life (because we've discussed them) he doesn't understand WHY I need them. Does that make him (or me) a bad person? Does it mean our relationship is doomed to failure? I don't think so. Because I don't think it's right to expect one human being to encompass all the relationships you need in your life.

I would also call my friend Liz a soul mate. She gets me as a person, understands my faults and accepts them, treats me like a sister. Is harsh with me when needed, yet comes to my rescue if I'm down. Our relationship is comfortable in a way that only years of joint experiences (and one major falling out) can make it. I couldn't imagine life with out her. Same goes for a couple other girlfriends as well. Girlfriends are important (as our group is realizing more and more). But there is no sexual chemistry there and soul mates are most commonly described as someone you are in a romantic relationship with. But does this make these relationships any less vital?

Also my mother and I are close and share a unique bond. I wouldn't be me without her. She loves me with an understanding that only comes from having lived through my teenage years, my drunken and distracted college years and the ups and downs of various decisions (both good and bad). She understands my wants and needs, sometimes before I fully understand them myself. Isn't that a kind of soul mate?

So you see, I think that there isn't just one individual out there that can complete me and make me the best person that I possibly could be. And I am not so selfish as to expect there to be. I'll take the best parts of all of the people in my life who touch my soul, who complete me and who challenge me. Wouldn't that be an impossible mission? To be everything to someone? To be solely responsible, based on your interpretations, for someone's happiness.

And there you have it. Hold on while I climb off of my soap box.

*Because I may, in fact, BE a wee bit jaded. But that's beside the point.

1 comment:

Michele said...

Funny I was just reading an article on this very topic yesterday!