20 Questions... Plus 5.

I am totally stealing this from Kate. Because, y'all know, I LOVE doing these silly tag things. I think I sometimes learn more about ME by doing them than I learn about my friends who do them... Does that make sense?

1. How old were you when you found out Santa was not a jolly man, but your mom and dad?
You know I can't recall if I ever did believe Santa was real... No memories of trying to stay up late to "catch" him. I think maybe because we lived in an apartment with no fireplace most of my early years. Hmm... I'll have to ask my mom.

2. Who was the first celebrity's poster you had hanging on your wall?
Oh gosh - how embarrassingg is THIS! I'm pretty sure it was New Kids on the Block! Torn from a Tiger Beat type magazine no less! I don't remember if it was the whole group or only Joey. He was my favorite. Love those baby blues!

3. How many times have you heard the phrase, "Please step out of the car Ma'am/Sir."
Only once. About 6 months ago. It was my second sobriety check in less than an hour too! I had been up in SF at a Bachelorette party of sorts with some friends and was the DD. I had just dropped off the majority of the party at BestFriend Liz's when I got pulled over the first time. Luckily, I had the bride in the car still and I think the cop was so entertained by her (SHE was WASTED) he just gave me a perfunctory test. After I dropped the bride off I got pulled over the second time only 2 or 3 blocks from my house! That cop actually made me get out of the car but once I told him I'd already been pulled over (less than an hour before and less than a 1/2 mile away!) he let me go. Sucked though because my feet were killing me and I REALLY didn't want to put my shoes back on to get out of the car! Also I wasn't even remotely drunk! I'd had 1 shot at the beginning of the evening which was like 6 or 7 hours earlier! But I suppose driving at 4 am IS suspicious...

4. What is the lamest reason for breaking up with someone you have ever given or received?
"God told me to." I was the receiver. And no, sadly, I'm not kidding.

5. What is the dumbest lie you ever told your parents to get out of something?
I blamed all early drunken escapades on food poisoning... Though clearly I must have smelled like a distillery.

6. Paper or Plastic?
What are we talking here? Bags? Money? I SHOULD get paper bags at the grocery store but I don't always. Those little plastic ones are so much easier to carry! But I do reuse them! And I prefer to carry my ATM or credit cards instead of cash. I don't know why. Something in the back of my head tells me I spend less that way.

7. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were little (under 10)?
A ballerina or a professional cowgirl. Yeah. That's what Texas will do to young children y'all.

8. What do you want to be now?
RETIRED! LOL - Kidding. Well sort of... Comfortable. And Happy.

9. What kind and color of underwear do you have on right now?
Pink and White stripped V-String. With a matching bra. Yes I am THAT kind of crazy.

10. What CD are you ashamed to admit you own and listen to?
Most of my really embarrassing stuff is on tape actually. I probably just dated myself didn't I? Keep in mind, Texas y'all. I own every Britney Spears CD except the greatest hits one she released last year. AND I know all the words to ALL the songs. Um... And I have a Backstreet Boys CD - but that belonged to my ex. I'm not sure how I ended up with it actually.

11. Who would you sleep with if you had the opportunity?
I'm going to suspend reality here for a minute because anyone who knows me even remotely knows I feel VERY STRONGLY about fidelity. I don't cheat. Won't cheat. Never. Comes from being cheated on A LOT I suppose. But I won't climb up on THAT soap box here. So. If I were single... I would probably sleep with Matt Damon given the opportunity. He'd have to be single also though. What's good for the goose and so forth...

12. Finish this sentence and say what movie this is from. The FBI is going to pay me to _________?
I have no friggin clue! This is a question for BestFriend Liz.

13. Are you a lame asshole who lied on the above question?
Nope. But I did Google the answer...

14. Why did you come to the blog that tagged you?
Funny. I have no idea. Any friends of Tiffy out there want to claim responsibility for me blog-stalking Kate?

15. What is your biggest fear?
Not being good enough.

16. Do you watch reality television and why or why not?
NO. Not since the first Survivor about a million years ago. Oh and I watched Joe Millionaire. He was HOT! Wait. Before I expose myself as a terrible liar... I am addicted to American Idol. But I don't lump that in with all those Fear Factor or Bachelorette type shows... Totally not the same!

17. Have you ever slept with someone and wondered why the hell you did that?
Yep. One of those "maybe my Ex and I could just be fuck buddies" moments. Clearly we could not.

18. What is your biggest regret?
Wow. I'd have to say I regret losing touch with old friends. I regret that a lot. But I don't know how to fix it. Or if I even would really want to.

19. How old were you and what happened the first time you got drunk?
LOL. Man this brings back some old memories... And some more of that regret crap from above... I was, let's see, maybe 15? Definitely not driving yet. I had skipped school with my friend Jen and my boyfriend at the time picked us up in his Jeep CJ and we went to his parent's house and drank a crap load of whiskey and rum that he had gotten from his job.* All I remember is us sitting in his bedroom and all of a sudden Jen tells him to bring her a bucket quick. He hesitated for less than a second and she threw up all over his carpet! I mean ALL OVER! Then at some point he drove us home. And I told my mom that both Jen and I had gotten food poisoning at Burger King. For years after that I had to pretend I didn't like Burger King when secretly a Whopper Junior with Cheese is my favorite fast food thing of all time!

20. Which would you rather be, the hammer or the nail?
The Hammer. I'd like to be the driving force behind change, not just a follower along.

21. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck. But seriously y'all I have got to cut down on the cussing! I'm thinking about instituting one of those quarter jars where you have to give someone a quarter everytime you cuss.

22. If there was one thing you could ask your parents, but never had the guts, what would that be?
What on earth did my wonderful Mother see in that horrible excuse I call biological Father?!?!

23. What are three things that make you go Hmmm?
Mullets, makeup on men (not stage makeup) and hot women with ugly or old men.

24. Real or fake boobies?
Either. So long as they look fabulous! And proportional.

25. Do you like being tagged by people?
Yep. So much so that I tag myself from other people's blogs! I'm a geek. We know this. And we love me anyway. Right?


*I'm not providing his name or details because I don't want to get him into trouble. Also, I was fantastically horrible to him as a girlfriend and I'm embarrassed now.