Thursday, October 13, 2005

It's time for a 12 step program y'all

Prompted by a post here about things that people can not live without, I have done a little research (thank you Google) and found that my little "addiction" may actually be more serious than I thought!*

Check it out! This is what I found at Lip Balm Anonymous.

Lip Balm Anonymous Self-Test for Lip Balm Addiction

1) Do you ever use more lip balm than you planned?
I never limit myself to a planned amount of Chapstick!

2) Has the use of lip balm interfered with your job?
Not unless leaving work to go buy it across the street at Walgreens is "interfering"

3) Is your lip balm use causing conflict with your spouse or family?

4) Do you feel depressed, guilty, or remorseful after you use lip balm?

5) Do you use whatever lip balm you have almost continuously until the supply is exhausted?

6) Do you ever wish that you had never taken that first application or hit of lip balm?

7) Do you have an obsession to get lip balm when you don't have it?
I have occasionally made TheBoy go out of our way to find me a store if I realize I don't have any Chapstick with me.

8) Are you experiencing financial difficulties due to your lip balm use?

9) Do you experience an anticipation high just knowing you are about to use lip balm?
Actually yes!

10) Without using lip balm, do you have difficulty sleeping without taking a drink or another drug?
Well I don't know about the drink part - but I can not fall asleep if my lips are dry

11) Are you absorbed with the thought of getting coated even while interacting with a friend or loved one?

12) Have you begun to use lip balm while alone?
OMG - All the time!

13) Do your lips, nose, or other areas hurt when you avoid Lip Balm?
Well of course!

14) Do you ever have feelings that people are talking about you or watching you?
Is it because of the Chapstick?!?!?!

15) Do you use larger doses of lip balm to get the same protection you once experienced?

16) Have you tried to quit or cut down on your lip balm use only to find that you couldn't?

17) Have any of your friends or family suggested that you may have a problem?
Yes! But they don't understand...

18) Have you ever lied to or misled those around you about how much or how often you use?

19) Do you use lip balm in your car, at work, in the bathroom, on airplanes, or other public places?
Every day!

20) Do you occasionally coat heavily after a disappointment, quarrel or rough day?

21) When under pressure, do you always use more heavily than usual?

22) Can you handle more lip balm now than when you first started using?

23) When using with others, do you try to have a few extra coats when they won't know it?

24) Are there certain occasions when you feel uncomfortable if lip balm is not available?
I DO sort of feel panicky if I don't have any and don't think there is anyplace near by where I can get some...

25) When you start using, are you in more of a hurry to get the first hit than you used to be?

26) Are you secretly irritated when friends or family discuss your lip balm use?

27) Do you usually have a reason for occasions when you use heavily?
Um... chapped lips?

28) Have you tried to control your lip balm use by switching brands or following different plans?
I have dabbled a bit with Burt's Bees...

29) Have you often failed to keep promises about controlling your lip balm?

30) Have you tried to control your lip balm use by changing jobs or moving?

31) Do you try to avoid family or friends while using?

32) Are you having an increasing number of financial and work problems?

33) Do more people seem to be treating you unfairly without reason?
Yes! But I thought that was from the blonde hair! Who would have thought it was the Chapstick this whole time!

34) Have you ever decided to stop using for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Only once or twice have I entertained such crazy talk!

35) Do you wish people would mind their own business about your lip balm use--stop telling you what to do?

36) Is lip balm affecting your reputation?

37) Do you crave lip balm at a definite time daily?

Oh yeah!

38) Does lip balm cause you to have difficulty sleeping?
Only if I go to bed without it - which I would never be so foolish as to do!

39) Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of lip balm?

40) Are you afraid that if you stop using lip balm your work will suffer or you will lose your energy, motivation, or confidence? How can one be energized, motivated or confident with icky chapped, dry and cracking lips? Honestly!

41) Do you spend time with people or in places you otherwise would not be around but for the availability of lip balm?

42) Have you ever stolen lip balm or money from friends or family?
Maybe once or twice... But I clearly needed it more than them!

43) Can you apply lip balm with one hand?
Like it's hard?

If you have answered Yes to any of these questions, you may have a lip balm dependency problem.

Can y'all see? Do you see that I am Crazy? And Addicted! If fact I'm even sitting with a little tub of Burt's Bees on my desk right now. And I have 1 tube of Chapstick, 2 different shades of lip gloss and a random vanilla scented lip balm in my purse less than 2 feet away!

Why hello Dr. What is that nice white coat for anyway?

*Just in case the sarcasm isn't coming through clearly via the Internets - this post is very tongue in cheek - please don't be concerned!

1 comment:

Liz said...

This is great!!! Oh good, does this include lip gloss use?? Michele and I are both in trouble. Though my problem is the buying part, not so much the using part.