Friday, October 28, 2005

The. Scariest. Cab. Ride. Ever.

Now, I've had some pretty notable cab rides. For example every cab ride I took the entire time I was in Las Vegas for my friend Richelle's Bachelorette Party a few years ago. Let's just say Taxi Cab Confessions really missed out with us that weekend!

But. Last Saturday night / early Sunday morning coming back from Sin? I'd have to say that cab ride takes the prize. Or rather that cab driver...

First off. We go outside to get in and the heater is up full blast. Seriously y'all it was 85 degrees in there AT LEAST. The cabbie does not seem to think this is odd. AND it's not even that cold outside!

Then there were the random comments as we got in about TheBoy being a lucky man. Granted both Liz and I were in short and somewhat sheer dresses... But it was a freaking costume party! We also had wings! And TheBoy was dressed as a devil - full on horns and everything. But he still wanted to make sure we knew that he noticed us. We get it. Fine. Whatever.

And then the most appalling sentence to ever be uttered by a cab driver came out of his mouth. Someone is calling him on his little CB radio thingy and so he picks it up and says...

"Don't worry Dave - I'm sober. I'm heading to Mountain View."

I shit you not.

I considered, briefly, getting out of the damn car and going back inside for more booze. CLEARLY I had not had enough to drink to be in the cab with this guy.

Instead I contented myself with squeezing Liz's hand, hard, and desperately trying to not make eye contact with this guy so as to discourage further conversation.

No such luck. He kept up a steady stream of neurotic babble the entire way home!

Also, he was playing classical music. Not that there is anything wrong with classical music... It's just that he just didn't appear to be the type of guy to enjoy it really. Not that I should be judging. I shouldn't. I know that. At one point during the drive he even mentioned it. Said "it's great driving music". He then promptly changed the channel to some heavier classic rock and turned it up really loud explaining "this is the stuff I really like. But then I drive too fast."


I'm not sure if it was the looks of panic or the fact that traffic was indeed slowing down on the freeway that made him turn the volume down and switch back over to classical.

And if it's not enough that we were stuck with him for the roughly 10 mile trip home, the traffic on the freeway was coming to a rather abrupt halt as we all belatedly remembered that the south bound lanes were closed due to construction.


Let's just say I have never been so happy to see ChezGhetto in the entire time we've lived there. I was tossing cash at the driver and opening my door before he'd made it all the way in the driveway!


Ran said...

Your stories always crack me up. You are a terrific writer. I hope you here about your home offer. I also hope you have a great weekend. Happy Halloween.

Tiffany said...

Thanks Randy! I apologize it took me awhile to figure out who you were!

Keep your fingers crossed for me on the house okay?

Have a great weekend.

Liz said...

For the record, it was flipping freezing and I was glad the weirdo cab drive turned up the heat. The fact that he left it up for about half the trip was disconcerting though.

Ran said...

Have you heard anything about the contract. I've said a prayer for you. You can send a note too. It is at the bottom of my website. Hope your weekend went great! We are going crazy in Dms. Take care.