Happy New Years!

I’m not quite sure how it happened… But somehow, through the drug induced haze and hunger pains from not eating solid foods in 4 days (thanks to TheBoy for this lovely little flu bug! Love you honey!), I’ve managed to drum up some real honest to goodness excitement for the new year. I just know 2006 is going to be an awesome* year for me. I feel like I’m finally taking charge of my life, doing things that are best for me, maybe for the first time ever! And I’ve got several super fun vacations planned or in the works so I can’t complain…

As most of you already know, I am the Queen of resolution making. I make New Year’s resolutions, Birthday resolutions, Monday morning resolutions… You name it. I think it goes along with the list fetish. There’s just something satisfying about this sort of internal ticker I have going. I love removing things from the list as I complete them, and I love the excitement and enthusiasm that goes into adding a new item.

I’m weird though. Y’all knew that. So here are my Resolutions for 2006. Because by posting them out here into cyber space it sort of makes me more accountable to all of y’all. Right? I feel like I accomplished something already!

*****

~ Continue working out with a goal of losing remaining 12 pounds and general toning, especially in arm and tummy regions!

~ Enter (and complete) a couple of 10K and/or half marathon races.

~ Stick to sensible eating plan as discussed with nutritionist – repeat over and over to self, “I have paid a lot of money for this advice… I might as well listen!”

~ Enroll in college courses at SJSU and begin slow and agonizing trek towards completing Bachelor Degree in History (Useful! Yay! Shut up!)

~ Work diligently toward paying off massive, soul-sucking consumer debt. Stick to budget. Limit frivolous purchases. Bring lunch from home.

~ Limit consumption of alcohol beverages to special occasions. Also limit drinks on special occasions to one or two.

~ Be the most Positive and Enthusiastic person I know.

~ Work on establishing regular sleep schedule as per Dr’s advice on insomnia issue. Remember this is why the *Dr* went through umpteen years of college and medical school where as *I* am probably going to be one of the oldest college juniors in my classes. She maybe knows some stuff.

~ Resist urge to cut all of hair off while it’s now in gawky growing out stage. (I know this one is frivolous but y’all? The hair? It has a mind of it’s OWN these days!)

~ Work on showing the people in my life how much I appreciate them every day. Or as often as is humanly possible without becoming an annoying sap. Remember what it feels like to be taken for granted and vow to never do that to someone else.

~ Spend more time with my mother. The woman deserves it for crying out loud! I was maybe not the easiest teenager… And I could learn a lot from her.

~ Make concentrated effort to remain in (or re-establish) contact with friends. These people know a lot about me – it would be nice if I could keep tabs on them! Distance is not really an issue y’all. Love you internet!

~ Get out and try new things. Or maybe more realistically… Two new things. Two seems like a reasonable number right? Two totally new and exciting, and also maybe scary and terrifying, but EXCITING new things. These two things are as yet unidentified… Perhaps I’ll sign up for some sort of lessons – with strangers! Or maybe I’ll travel somewhere – alone! The possibilities are endless!

*****

Okay y’all, that’s all this cowgirl wrote for 2005. I’m off to go flea dip the cat and bomb the apartment. Ah… the joys of being sick on a Friday night! I hope you all have a fun and safe New Year’s. Maybe I’ll be feeling well enough to do a bit of celebrating myself… We shall see. In the mean time, all you kids have fun!


*“Awesome like a hundred billion hotdogs, sir.” (Brownie points for anyone who gets the reference)

We will now return to your regularly scheduled host

Okay, I am now a believer that negativity and stress WILL give you the flu. And also maybe migraines. That is the only explanation I can come up with to justify why, after 10 days of headaches and 4 migraines, I should now have the flu. I mean that’s not fair is it? I think this all can be traced back to me not being the positive and enthusiastic Tiffy that everyone knows and loves and the beginning of the Tiffy who was letting stuff get to her and was being anything but positive and enthusiastic.

So, we’re just kicking the new Tiffy out the door (and hope the door does hit her on the ass on her way out) and welcoming back with open arms the old Positive and Enthusiastic and Optimistically Cheerful Tiffy.

*please join me in a warm welcome for our long lost heroine*

I don’t know what happened y’all. I don’t. I think I was just letting all the indecisions get to me. (Are we buying a house or aren’t we? Will we get engaged or won’t we? Should I open a restaurant or shouldn’t I?) And the stress! And the explanations! Yikes! But I’m better now. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? And the truth is that those decisions have been made and I can’t change them even if I wanted to, which I don’t necessarily. So it’s time to stop letting them take over my life!

Because at the end of the day? My life is not so bad. I have a wonderful group of friends that I can count on, a fantastic mother who teaches me how to be a strong woman, a boyfriend who loves me even if I am crazy, a great job and boss that I love, a roof over my head, clothes to wear (that are 2 or 3 sizes smaller than last year!), food to eat and health. Well I’m working on the health thing. But y’all know.

Bored

Do you see what happens when all of my friends leave town and TheBoy is sick so we haven't even gone out with the few people who are in town that normally aren't??? I go crazy! And maybe do every single MeMe I had saved "for a rainy day" all at once in some ginormous blog post!

Also, I have recently (within the last few hours) developed a nasty cough for which I am planning on murdering TheBoy later. Grrrr... I was really looking forward to a good long work out tonight too!

*sigh*

Well enjoy none the less. This will be added to the list of posts that are more than you ever needed to know.

*****

my name is: Tiffany

childhood ambition: to be a dancer or pop star

fondest memory: summers in Mississippi with Jim or trips to the Oregon coast with my mom

soundtrack: I have a perpetual internal soundtrack – lately it’s got a bit of Kelly Clarkson, some Antigone rising, and Faith Hill on it…

retreat: a beach, any beach – preferably warm weather

wildest dream: to open my own restaurant, to get married, to own my own home

proudest moment: finishing the SF Marathon in July – even if I had to limp across the finish line!

biggest challenge: trying to juggle everything I want to accomplish

alarm clock: annoying beep-y sound

perfect day: waking up early, coffee and stretching before a nice long run, making breakfast for TheBoy and I, something outdoors like hiking, hanging out at the beach or wheeling and then coming home to plan, prep, and cook a huge dinner for all of our friends with lots of wine and laughter

first job: Gymboree (y’all wonder why kids make me cringe?)

indulgence: shoes, food, wine

last purchase: pizza for dinner last night – it was sick boy’s request

favorite movie: Gone with the Wind

inspiration: my wonderful mom and my amazing girl friends

my life: is a little confused right now – but I’m happy

*****

5 YEARS AGO

How old were you?: 21

What grade were you in? Junior year in college – is that 15? 16?

Where did you go to school? GGU – I transferred around A LOT

Where did you work?: Alain Pinel Realtors

where did you live?: A condo owned by my bosses in Mountain View

Where did you hang out?: Palo Alto mainly, some downtown San Jose

How was your hair style?: short and bob like

Did you wear braces?: nope

Did you wear glasses?: for reading

sport: dancing… also, this was the year I really got into running

Who was your best friend?: I was in mid-upheaval of my life at that point. Liz and I weren’t speaking, Angie lived in Maryland… I’d have to say it was probably Tammie – or maybe Richelle

Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?: I was newly single after breaking up with my highschool BF

Who was your celebrity crush?: Matt Damon

did you have more guy friends or girl?: I’d say it was pretty much 50 / 50

Who was your regular-person crush?: This realtor I vaguely knew in passing*

How many piercings did you have?: 5, 4 in ears and belly button

How many tattoos did you have?: none

what kind of music were you into?: country mainly but I loved a little bit of everything

What was your favorite band?: Hmmm… Maybe Dixie Chicks?

What was your biggest fear?: not being able to get away from my past

favorite color: green

Had you smoked a cigarette yet?: oh yes

Had you gotten drunk or high yet? yes - it was a pretty regular occurance back then

Had you driven yet?: yep

Did you have a car? Green Saturn SL1


AND NOW

How old are you?: 26

What school year are you in?: about to go back to my Junior year in college (stupid transfer rules)

Where do you go to school?: SJSU (in a few more weeks hopefully)

Where do you live?: in an apartment in Mountain View

Where do you hang out?: at home, friend’s houses and Ugly’s

How is your hair style?: long and wavy (unless I spend the hour beating it into submission)

Do you wear glasses?: for reading

Who is your best friend: Liz and Angie

Favorite Sport?: running – though l’m into the bootcamp right now also and hoping to start some triathlon training soon (if I can find the time)

Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?: TheBoy (aka: Ryan)

do you have more guy friends or girl? girl friends

Who is your celebrity crush?: Matt Damon (pregnant wife ha!)

Who is your regular-person crush?: TheBoy

How many tattoos do you have?: 1

How many piercings do you have?: still 5

what kind of music are you into: country as always, but also jazzy, bluesy stuff reminiscent of the Rat Pack and some old school hip hop

What is your favorite band?: Antigone Rising

What is your biggest fear?: not being good enough

Have you driven yet?: LOL – this must have originated with younger kids

Do you have a car now? Chevy Z24 cavalier convertable

favorite color: pink

Have you smoked a cigarette yet?: yes and quit

Have you gotten drunk or high yet?: yes though not quite as frequently now – unless there are extenuating circumstances like the holidays


*in a strange twist of fate, said crush called and asked me to drinks literally a week after I began dating TheBoy.

Holiday Weekend Recap

I am so glad the holidays are over y'all. I've tried to get into the holiday spirit - you know focusing on the good stuff I have in my life and all that - but today? Today I am mostly relieved. Whew - thank God that's over and that it doesn't come back for another 12 months!

I did enjoy reading about all of your holiday adventures though! And the holidays weren't all bad! Here's a brief recap - more to come. After all, everyone is out of town and work is slow, slow, slow this week!

1 awkward and painful (for me) dinner with TheBoy's mom and her BF on Thursday
2 friends I tried to call while crying and feeling sorry for myself with hurt feelings after dinner
0 friends that answered their phones
1 happy hour attended with co-workers on Friday (look at me being social!)
1 date with TheBoy
5 beers, 1 glass of wine, 1 Midori Sour (nostalgic purposes) and 1 Capt and Coke drank Friday night
3 hours I spent awake in the middle of the night vomiting
4 hours of sleep actually managed
2 hours late we were to my parents Saturday
2 glasses of wine drank Saturday (my parents don't drink)
3 games of SkipBo played
1 phone call to wish TheBoy's mom a Happy Birthday
1 engagement announced (more on that later)
20 minutes early we were to TheBoy's parents Sunday (we're trying!)
2 mimosas, 4 glasses of wine and 1 martini drank Sunday (TheBoy's parents do drink)
3 phone calls, 3 text messages and 30 minutes spent drunkenly posting to people on MySpace
5 games of pool
1 game of darts
2 hours a very sick and feverish TheBoy slept on the couch at his parents
12 hours spent in bed Monday morning (TheBoy was sick - I was reading)
1 trip to the Urgent Care
2+ hour wait at Urgent Care
5 minutes we actually waited before going home
1 trip to Jamba Juice
2 bottles of NyQuil purchased
2 movies watched

All in all it was a quiet weekend. I managed to drink myself into oblivion 3 out of 5 nights to dull the pain and so far we're on day 5 without a migraine! Unfortunately I think one of the medicines the Dr gave me is making me violently nauseous! I suppose it's a good weight loss plan right?

A light at the end of the tunnel

I am finally emerging from the dark and pain filled space in my brain which has provided me with 4 migraines in 10 days. After many conferences with my Dr, her nurse, the neurologist and her nurse, I have been told the following things:

- My blood pressure is too high

- I am under a lot of stress

- There may be something wrong with my eyes even though I have "better than perfect" vision*

Exciting huh? Merry Christmas to me. So I have been to the chiropractor, the aromatherapist (don't judge - I'd do anything to get rid of migraines) and the pharmacy for loads of new drugs. And I have strict orders to get my ass back to the gym and to R-E-L-A-X!

Also, I'm supposed to figure out what the source of my stress is so that I can mitigate it. Silly Drs... Of course I know what the source of my stress is! I just don't want to discuss it with them. Or anyone. I can't. And there is no mitigating it. If there were don't they think I'd be doing that? As opposed to lying in bed in a darkened room in excruciating pain for days on end?? Seriously, I'm not a masochist!

*sigh*

However, I do have a fun date night planned with TheBoy tonight which should help me over the migraine hump and on to holiday cheer and all that jazz. I'm really looking forward to it! I think dating is important whether you've been together 5 months or 5 years.

Also, I just had coffee with a friend that I don't get to see very often (at least not one on one) in which I remembered all of the wonderful things I liked about him in the first place. It was nice. We just chatted away an hour or so over coffee. Just what the Dr ordered I'd say!

So to all of you - my faithful blog friends - I say Happy Holiday of your choice. I wish you all days filled with friends and family. And wine. Because these are the things that are important. I'll be back in a few days with a recap and I can't wait to read about all of your crazy holiday antics!

Love, Tiff


*What's better than perfect? Isn't that the point of perfect? Nothing better? I'm just saying is all.

What does your name mean?

I thought this was fun. Go here and click on "general info" on the left hand side, then "name meanings" and enter your name. Let me know what you find out! I like mine... I bet my mom had no idea!!


Tiffany
Manifestation of God : Greek

You are responsible, determined and tenacious with sound judgement and the ability to inspire others making you ideal for positions of leadership. Having broad vision you are happy to accept the challenge of handling large projects which others may find too demanding. With your keen intuition and inventive mind you are always seeking answers. Fair and just you have a warm and compassionate nature which attracts many friends.

Stupid Blogger!*

Is anyone else experiencing "technical difficulties" with Blogger?? Specifically something about having no cookies or Java enabled when clearly you do?!?!

*sigh*

So I've been trying to NOT ignore the blog so much but it's taking me ages to actually get posts in!

AND my post from yesterday had a super cute photo to go with it but Blogger was having none of it! I could click to add it, it would say "done" and that it had been uploaded but... Nothing.

Apparently it's going to work today though so here you go, the lovely Miss Elly standing *next* to Santa:



I am now going to walk away from the Blogger before I drop kick my very expensive and company owned computer through the window. I'm just saying is all.


*PS - also shouldn't Blogger's spell checker recongize the word "Blogger"???

Scary Santa

I'm alive!

I'm just feeling a little under-whelmed by the holidays... But I'm working on it. TheBoy and I have holiday themed events for every night this week so Bah Humbug to me.

In the mean time I thought I'd pass on an amusing story from one of my closest girlfriends. Keep in mind that I don't have children nor do I hang around children if I can help it so I had no idea the following was even possible.

Enjoy!

*****

Elly and I discovered Chico Mall within a week of moving here. Around the middle of November, at one far end, a veeery large chair was placed inside of an area decorated like the North Pole; it had dancing elves, giant candy canes, and boxes wrapped in decorated paper with bows, stacked into a huge pyramid. Naturally, Elly was rather intrigued, so Mama went on to tell that Santa would sit in that special chair, so that kiddies could come sit in his lap and tell him what they'd like to receive on Christmas morning..... In that first trip alone, we must've gone back to look at that impressively grand chair three times!

We ended up seeing that chair in it's arctic (but vacant) resplendence on three separate occasions. Mama didn't think Santa was planning to make an appearance before Thanksgiving, but lo and behold: the Tuesday before Thanksgiving Mark, Elly & I went to go make sure that nothing had changed about that chair..... Much to our surprise, we found it filled! As we rounded the corner, Elly saw much more quickly than Mama or Daddy that it's rightful occupant had taken up residency -- so she started screaming like a banshee!!!

Prolific tears, howling, and death-grips-of-parents ensued..... Even Santa looked a little perplexed -- and we weren't any closer than 15 yards away! However, before we knew it, a teensy weensy infant of maybe 4 weeks old went ahead of us, and handled her visit like a champ. Well, Elly wasn't going to be shown up by some teensy weensy baby!! So after much praise, wiping of tears, several faltering starts, and screwing up of courage, Elly managed to sit in the chair with Santa long enough to hold a pose -- mind you not IN his lap, but NEXT to him!

Holiday Fun

You know normally Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year... But this year I'm having a hard time getting into it. I'm not sure why that is. May require some pondering... I'll let you know if I come up with anything other than I'm crazy.

And I'm feeling MUCH better today so thanks to all of you for your thoughts and kind words. Though Ryan is out sick AGAIN today - 2 days in a row! I think that's happened maybe 1 other time in all the years we've been dating. This cold thing must be really kicking his butt!

Here's a little holiday foolishness to start your Hump Day.

(you know I love these things!)

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot Chocolate! Mmm… It’s the only time I really LOVE chocolate.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Wrapped – totally.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White. Though, like Liz, my mom always had colored lights when I was a kid… She’s switched to white now though.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
If I’m entertaining I will but this year I’m not.

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Depends. I usually do it the weekend after Thanksgving or the first weekend in December. This year I haven’t been in the mood. I put up a few things but the rest went back into their boxes and back down to the garage.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Mmm… So many choices! I’d have to say biscuts and sausage gravy for Christmas breakfast. It’s pretty much the only time I eat it!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Getting together with all of my aunts and my uncle and all the cousins at my garndparents house when they were still married and living on the Oregon coast. We’d get all bundled up and run around playing with our new toys. Or sometimes my grandpa would pack us all in the Spruce Goose (his truck) and take us all down to the beach to play in the sand and freezing cold water. Grandma would always have some sort of warm treat for us when we got back. Gosh I haven’t thought about that in years!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I’m not sure… I don’t remember ever believing in Santa.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
I always wanted to do that! All my friends did it and I used to beg and plead with my mom every year and it was always strictly forbidden… But the last couple years since I’ve been splitting hoildays between TheBoy’s family and mine it always works out that we’re opening presents with various people for days!

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him?
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever done that… I’ll have to ask my mom.

11. Snow, Love it or Dread it?
Hate it. I’m a sunshine and warmth kind of girl.

12. Can you ice skate?
Yep – though not well. I’m a little rusty I suppose, it’s been years since I’ve gone!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I love all gifts! I’m not picky, if someone took the time to buy/make/wrap something I’ll love it.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Being with my friends and family. Realizing how blessed I truly am.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
I’m not a huge desert person… Does desert wine count?

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Definitely the Annual Holdiay Cocktail Party with BestFriend Liz!

17. What tops your tree?
A star.

18. Which do you prefer Giving or Receiving?
Giving. I am an awkward gift receiver… It makes me uncomfortable!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
Baby It’s Cold Outside = Fun. O Holy Night = Beautiful.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Yuck. But I have been wanting to try a candy cane martini…

Splitting Headache...

I have been known to say in the midst of a migraine (or shortly in it's aftermath) that I would love to just get a regular old headache one day. Because as those of you who suffer with migraines know... It's a journey into the black abyss and ANYTHING would be preferable to one. Red hot pokers in the eyes? Sure. Head in vise grips? No problem. I absolutely believe that a regular headache is nothing compared to a migraine.

But could someone please turn off the jack hammer in my head soon?

TheBoy has been complaining of a sort throat for the past several days and today he's actually taking a sick day (which is odd for him) because he feels so badly! And of course this morning at about 3 am I woke up with a sore throat and my friend the jack hammer. I'm telling you, this thing is invincible! No amount of pain killer can stall it! Thanks to TheBoy for sharing with me... So sweet.

Anywho, the last few days have been hectic so I apologize to my faithful readers (all 2 of you) for my lack of blogging lately. I promise to resume regular blogging scheduling shortly. In the mean time let me give you my weekend recap, starting with Friday.

1 memorial service attended
1 glass of wine at reception
0 times I gave way to the panic I was feeling in relation to attending above service
1 much needed lunch with friends after service
1 time I tried to crawl into bed in my PJ's at 6pm on Friday
1 time I got dressed back up because TheBoy demanded it
3 bars we went to on Friday night
1 holiday party that I didn't plan on attending that I actually went to
5 awkward moments at above party
2 beers at first bar
2 greyhounds at second bar
1 greyhound & 1 lemon drop at third bar
2 times we had to send back the lemon drops (once the glass was broken and the second time the bartender put salt on the rim instead of sugar)
1 vodka cranberry made by Angie who is incredibly heavy handed drank at holiday party
2 Jaeger/coke shots I took at party even though everyone knows I can not STAND Jaeger
1 really really drunk Tiffy who said all sorts of inappropriate things and apologizes profusely to anyone who may have witnessed the above spectacle
1 very very sick Tiffy on Saturday morning
1 Jack in the Box breakfast and LARGE sprite TheBoy brought me Saturday morning
6 hours spent in bed reading Saturday
1 Taco Bell dinner finally kept down at 5 pm
1 beer managed to choke down in honor of out of town guests
1 movie watched while visiting out of town guests
1 movie slept through
1 very drunk TheBoy I drove home Saturday night
5 hours spent shopping with TheBoy on Sunday for holiday/birthday gifts
1 holiday party attended Sunday night
1 Billy Bass singing fish won by TheBoy during White Elephant exchange
1 Twister game that we brought and also took home from White Elephant exchange
3 glasses of wine drank at party
0 times I said out loud what I was really thinking during party (yea me!)
1 (hypothetical) boss who was back at (theoretical) work Monday am (this was a happy thing for me)
4 times I was told what a great job I had done in his absence the last couple weeks
1 birthday party for TheBoy's step-mom attended last night
4 glasses of wine drank at dinner
1 well received desert made by yours truly for dinner
1 awkward scene between TheBoy and myself which we are ignoring today
2 times I had to be woken up and moved from where I randomly fell asleep at party
4 hours total I think I managed to sleep last night (including the hour at the party)

So to recap, that was 3 parties in 4 days plus a funeral, roughly 12 gallons of beer and wine drank and twice I was sick, once brought on by myself and once brought on by a germ-y TheBoy.

Can I go home now???

Photos!

I love my digital camera! And I love taking pictures with it! But maybe I'm not so good at actually sharing those photos...

*ahem*

Here are some pics of Christine's birthday party, which was maybe last month. Better late than never? Unfortunately none of the group shots of us in the Karaoke room came out well. But there are some cute ones of the group at dinner.

Liz and Michele


Mischa, Christine (the b-day girl) and Michael


Angie, Erik, me and Ryan


And these ones are from Liz's birthday, which was just last weekend so I'm getting better! The first ones are at the restaurant - the last few are at Ugly's.

The group


The group with me


Just the girls




Fab 5 (at Ugly's)




And last but not least... Me and the Birthday Girl!

What am I reading?

Many thanks to Cupcake, or rather to BBrub who commented on her last post, for the new "What I Am Reading" link on my sidebar!*

I'm sure you all remember when I was going to post every month about the books I've read?? Yeah. Turns out that's a lot of work! So what I'm going to try to do now is show you what I am currently reading and then, if the book truly tickles my fancy, I'll post a review of it here.

For example - I just finished The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger which I thought was FANTASTIC! I couldn't put it down! It's a little similar to the Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon (which I may have mentioned I'm a fan of? no?) in that it's got that whole time travel and love through out the ages thing going on. But so, so good!

And I relaize that I am probably the last person on the planet to read Kite Runner. I swear everytime I have flown somewhere in the last 2 or 3 years I've been sitting next to someone on the plane who was reading this book! Don't ask me why it took so long for me to actually buy it and read it, but... WOW. I haven't finished it yet... But I'm close! It's fantastic y'all. Really.


*Kate - you HAVE to get this!

Ha!

You're Bettie Page!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

What is it about the holidays?

That makes perfectly sane women crazy? So, I don't know how many of you out there read Post Secret but there was an entry on there this week that I have not been able to stop thinking about.



Except in my case it would be my father who chose his new wife and her children over me... And after 5 or 6 years of not speaking to this man I found myself on Google this afternoon looking for his name. He's still listed in the phone book in the town I thought he lived in last. And thanks to Google Maps Satellite I can see that he lives in a house on the edge of town with a large yard.

WHY do I do this to myself? The fact that we don't speak is my choice - was my decision. He tried to get into contact with me several years ago... And we traded a few tense e-mails and strained phone conversations. But he had to call me only from work because heaven forbid his wife know he was calling me long distance. And the man has had a sad life, seriously his family (I suppose theoretically they're MY family too huh?) has issues. And I feel badly for him... In that detached, abstract, tragedy strikes a stranger sort of way.

And yet... I used to be such a Daddy's girl. I loved spending summers with him. Even if the man had no clue and I sat in his apartment all day by myself watching TV while he worked. Even if all we ate was McDonald's and Campbell's Chucky Soup over rice. It was worth it for those few hours and days just to be with him. I would always board the plane to visit with eager anticipation and board the plane coming home overcome with tears and making myself physically ill with misery.

I feel guilty about that now. My mom is the best mother on the planet as far as I'm concerned. Despite a brief rough patch in high school she is one of my closest friends. My confidant. My biggest cheerleader. My rock. And my father? Turns out he's not great at it. The man can not be alone. Unfortunately I was the sacrifice that had to be made.

I remember my 8th grade graduation. My mom had let it slip that maybe, just maybe, my father was going to make it. He was planning on it she said. It had been 2 years since I had seen him. I sat up there on that stage anxiously watching the doors. I made it through my speech and still no sight of him. I made it through the accepting of the diploma with tears in my eyes. Afterwards I remember crying to my then boyfriend (now friend) how disappointed I was that he didn't make it.

I think there were a few sporadic phone calls through high school. Christmas. My birthday. And then he decides he's coming out for my high school graduation. First it was going to be a family trip - him, the wife and her daughter and son-in-law and her son. I was plainly not thrilled about this. The first time I'm seeing him in 6 years and I have to share him? He decided to come alone. Needless to say the trip was a disaster. We had nothing to say to each other. We were perfect strangers.

A couple years after that his father passed away (I don't think of him as grandfather - I never met him) and shortly there after one of his brothers passed away also. Apparently something like that triggers a sort of life re-evaluation. He remembered wait - I have a daughter - someone out there with half of my genetic make-up. But by then I was too angry, too bitter, too hurt to accept it. And it's difficult to grieve for people you don't know. Yet I felt like my father thought we should be grieving together for OUR family. Not quite...

So I cut ties. There have been two feeble attempts on his part and I've had to threaten my mother with bodily injury not to give out my phone numbers anymore. He keeps in touch with my mother. She was the love of his life he says. I don't ask. She doesn't volunteer information. And most days? This arrangement suits me just fine.

Until the holidays...

Fours

I'm not quite sure what possessed me to take not one but 4 shots of Captain Morgan on an empty stomach last night. I don't even like Captain Morgan! I'm pretty sure it had something to do with my very long, very emotionally draining day at work yesterday. Anyhow, that on top of numerous other things is leaving me completely void of blogging fodder. And we all know what that means don't we? Right. More MeMes. This one was stolen from Liz.

*****

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE:
1 - Retail Sales (Gymboree, The Game Keeper, Papyrus, Bloomingdale's)
2 - Bartender
3 - Administrative Assistant
4 - Licensed Real Estate Assistant / Buyer's Agent

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1 - Gone with the Wind
2 - Top Gun
3 - Dirty Dancing
4 - Robin Hood (the Disney one... where Robin and Maid Marian are foxes?)

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN:
1 - Fontana, CA
2 - Cibolo, TX
3 - Menlo Park, CA
4 - Mountain View, CA

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1 - American Idol
2 - Simpsons
3 - Family Guy
4 - The OC (shut up! I realize I'm about 10 years to old for itÂ…)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1 - Aruba
2 - Cancun
3 - Hawaii
4 - Vegas

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1 - GMail
2 - Blogger
3 - Yahoo! Weather
4 - MySpace

FOUR OF YOUR ALL TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1 - La Fondue
2 - Cassanova
3 - Evvia
4 - Anton and Michel

FOUR COSTUMES YOU'VE WORN ON HALLOWEEN:
1 - Cat
2 - Naughty Catholic School Girl
3 - Angel
4 - Disco Diva

FOUR SCHOOLS YOU ATTENDED:
1 - Menlo Atherton High School
2 - Foothill College
3 - Menlo College
4 - San Francisco State

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1 - Anything Mexican!
2 - Home made spaghetti
3 - Baba Ghanoush
4 - Rare steak with a loaded baked potato

Weekend Recap

So. Tired. Must. Sleep.

What is with the insomnia going around? I've got it, Liz has got it... Is it the stress of the holidays? Because seriously y'all, I've consumed enough wine the last few nights to ensure that I sleep heavily and happily through the night. But no.

Anyway, this was a fun weekend with BestFriend Liz's birthday and all! I promise to post pics later... Once I remember to grab the cord thingy to connect the camera to the computer. I also am errant and have photos for Christine's birthday last month to post. Bad Tiffy!

Here's my weekend recap - in no particular order:

2 slices of BBQ Chicken Pizza at the Oasis dreamed of for a week and eaten by me on Friday

2 old friends from college that I got to see on Friday night

1 appearance of drunk Liz on Friday... I love drunk Liz, she's so giggle-y and fun!

1 Birthday brunch cooked - my first ever! And if the food was a little burnt the girls humored me by pronouncing it fabulous and washing it down with mimosas

1 long overdue pedicure and manicure

5 CD's bought at Target

2 books bought even though I have probably 4 or 5 books at home that are still unread

1 registration fee and application sent in so that I can (finally!) finish my B.A. (Although I am a tad nervous to be going back to school after a 5 year + absence!)

1 book finished - The Time Traveler's Wife which was excellent! Seriously, couldn't put it down...

1 Birthday dinner at CreoLa

3 rounds of after dinner shots made by Carrie at her bar for the Birthday girl...

3 shots taken by the birthday girl even though she was mightily protesting at least the last two

1 scalding bath taken because the temperature in my apartment is sub-freezing

1 trip to the mountains to go cut down a Christmas tree

1 hour TheBoy and I spent decorating the tree/apartment before our attention wandered and we started watching Miss Congeniality instead

1 glass of eggnog drank which was probably 50/50 with Captain and yet still composed 80% of my calorie intake for Sunday

1 super yummy Chile Verde burrito from Garcia's eaten

When your friends start having babies...

You stop getting e-mails with pictures of half naked hot firemen or dozens of soldiers on an aircraft carrier in flag boxers and you start getting e-mails like this:

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.

Hmmm… I always had some form of musical instrument. I think I had maybe 3 or 4 keyboards over the course of my childhood and one year I got an Appalachian Dulcimer which was awesome! I wonder whatever happened to that…

Also, I had a doll. Her name was Molly and my mother still has her in the bedroom that was mine for the brief time I lived in their house in Livermore. I loved that doll! Just thinking about her brings back warm fuzzy feelings.

And I can not forget my teddy bear Stitch. I’ve had him since I was born. Unfortunately he had to go back to live at my mother’s house with Molly because TheCat developed an over-keen interest in him. He already has a wonky stitch on one of his toes from some unremembered childhood incident! Currently he’s wearing a teeny little red t-shirt that says “Tiffany” on it. Which apparently used to fit me – but I don’t buy it!

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?

Food. It pains me to see so many people who are hungry out there. I think it’s triggered by the fact that I have so many issues with food myself. I mean my biggest concern these days is making sure I eat the right things at the right times according to the Nutritionist. How is it right that I can be so picky and somewhere there is a woman just like me who would be so thankful for all the things that I’ve thrown out?!?

Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

This is a tough question to answer; I mean we’ve been together almost 5 years! It’s not so much that I sit and think about him constantly (though lately I won’t lie, there has been increased thoughts of him and our future). It’s more like a constant stream of his thoughts running through my head. Like if someone is telling me a story – I’m thinking of his reaction to the story as well as my own. Does that make sense? I can’t explain it.

Main Course
Name something you believe in 100%.

The Golden Rule. I know it’s cheesy but… I’m a firm believer in you get out what you put in. I always try to put myself in the other person’s shoes and react or respond accordingly. I think that life is to short for unkind words or silly misunderstandings.

Dessert
List 3 things you did this year that you would consider a "good deed."

1) I raised money for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation while training for the SF Marathon in July. I was part of a training team that encouraged one another, laughed with one another and cried tears of joy and pride when the day was over. I hope that I helped those women as much as they helped me. And together I know that we made a difference for local people living with HIV / AIDS. Until there’s a cure…

2) I have, together with my wonderful group of friends, planned several birthday parties, happy hours, camping/wakeboarding trips and other miscellaneous events. Because y’all? That’s what is important at the end of the day. I don’t want to be remembered for jobs I held or money I made, I want to be remembered for the friend, daughter, and person that I was.

3) I donated blood every 8 weeks pretty religiously. Those of you who know me in “real life” can attest to the fact that this is one of those things I can get up on a soap box about… I really don’t understand why anyone, who is otherwise healthy and able to, wouldn’t make the time (less than an hour) and go donate blood every few months. It makes such a real difference! It’s so, so important!

Open Letter to the Manufacturers of Auto-Flush Toilets

Dear Sirs,

I realize that the innovation of a toilet that flushes on it’s own without people having to actually touch a handle was a wonderful day for mankind. I was just as tired as the next girl of balancing on one foot while I kicked the handle with the other. Truly you men possess great mental prowess and should be applauded.

So it is therefore with great sadness that I point out one tiny little flaw in your design. Because clearly you must not be aware of this flaw or there would have been a nationwide re-call on toilets. And while I realize that the logistics of removing and replacing, or retrofitting 100’s of 1000’s of toilets may be a bit daunting, I’m sure that once I have enlightened you to my plight you will understand the necessity of exactly that.

According the US Department of Health and Human Services the average American woman is 5’3.7” tall, or for sake of ease, roughly 5’4”. Keeping in mind that this is the “average” you must therefore assume that approximately half of women are shorter than this. I am one of these “petite” women.

I believe that if you examine your product closely, you will see that the sensor which tells the toilet whether someone is sitting or standing is positioned so that a petite woman is barely registering. In most public restrooms the toilet paper is located just slightly out of easily reachable distance, at least for the petite woman. The effect of this being that in order to reach the TP a woman must lean forward thus removing her from her place in front of the sensor which she barely triggered in the first place resulting in a bit of unexpected and unwanted splashing of cold water and toilet bowl contents.

That’s not a very pleasant thought is it? I’m sure that, now that you are aware of this most distressing defect in your product, you will be taking immediate measures to remedy the situation in order to alleviate the unnecessary pain and suffering that your toilets are unwittingly causing for petite women everywhere.

Because hell hath no fury like a woman with a soggy bottom.


Sincerely,

A concerned (and splashed) petite woman

I'm sorry!

I think I may have discovered a new form of Tourette's Syndrome where instead of shouting out inappropriate obscenities I feel a compulsive need to say the words "I'm sorry". Seriously, y'all. My post from yesterday got me to thinking... So far today I have apologized for the following things:

To TheBoy for brushing moving the covers when I got out of bed (I'm pretty sure he wasn't awake when this happened)

To TheCat for shutting the door to the bathroom before he could sneak in

To TheBoy for jumping when he snuck up on my while I was blow drying my hair (clearly this was my fault!)

To TheBoy for trying to leave the kitchen while he was trying to enter it (yes - our kitchen is THAT SMALL)

To the woman I accidentally cut off while trying to get over to the carpool lane

To the man I purposely cut off while trying to exit the freeway

To TheBoy because he didn't think my joke was funny (I do have an often dry sense of humor)

To TheBoss for being late (to which he replied, "Exactly how LATE we're you here last night? I thought we already had this conversation." I love him.)

To the receptionist (pardon, Director of First Impressions) for filling up my water bottle at the cooler while he was attempting to get by to unlock the supply room door

To someone at work for leaving two messages on their voice mail

To the waitress for picking up my glass just as she was reaching to refill it

To my boss for going to lunch at all

To a woman at the coffee shop for being in her way when she turned around from the register

That's a lot of apologizing for one day... And the day isn't over yet! Does anyone else do this? Is this a symptom of the OCD which we already know I have? Yes, I realize it's self-diagnosed. But y'all! It's so, so true! I was up this morning at 4:00 am cleaning the floor in the bathroom! Cause it was dirty. I'm just saying...

Random Tuesday musings...

I'm very unmotivated today... I'm not sure if it's the rain? Or maybe some left-over tryptophan induced sleepiness? Anywho. I did find some strange desire to steal and do another "more than you ever wanted to know about Tiffy" post.

Aren't y'all thrilled?!?! Just beside yourselves with anticipation?? No?

Well here you go anyway...

*****

TEN random things you might not know about me.

1: I have “procedures” for everything. You know, plans, patterns in which I do things. Y’all. The procedure CAN NOT be messed with. I’ve been known to break in to tears if a step is missed or something changes my pattern.
(This sounds like a post in and of itself.)

2: I desperately want to move to Hawaii. I’ve secretly been looking at housing and searching into job opportunities and ways to make connections in my field. I’ve even pretty much got TheBoy on board. My excuse to my friends would be that I desperately need a change. And they all desperately need Hawaiian vacations!

3: I tell people that I don’t regret my past because it made me who I am now. But that’s a lie. If I could erase my memory completely, and the memories that other people have of me, from the ages from 12 to about 21 or so I would in a heart beat. And I would never look back.

4: I have a terrible fear of making the wrong decision and so I tend to wait things out until the decision is made for me. I know this is wrong.

5: I feel compelled to apologize for everything. This morning I apologized to a woman on the street because she turned around abruptly and had to alter her path around me to get by. I also apologize when people are cold, hot, full, hungry, late, or early. I’m not sure why.

6: I have ISSUES with food. I know, I know, everyone does to some degree. But my issues could keep a psychologist busy for a lifetime. I could be the topic of someone’s medical school thesis. I could write a book. Or a series of books! But I’m afraid to talk about it with anyone in any depth because I hate being judged.

7: I am afraid to meet new people. I think that in some way I must be shy, though none of my friends would ever think that. I am terrified of going into things by myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve missed out on things because I couldn’t convince someone to go with me.

8: I have a huge guilt complex. Little white lies keep me sleepless for a week. Hurting someone’s feelings (even inadvertently) will make me want to cry and/or do obsessively nice things for them until I feel better.

9: I associate most moments in my life to songs. It’s like the internal soundtrack on crack. I also associate memories, both good and bad, to places. Also smells. And sounds. Seriously, I’ve moved apartments to “escape” bad memories on more than one occasion!

10: I make mini resolutions every week. Think New Year’s Resolutions… Only I do it more than once a year. Clearly I have to repeat some of them before they stick… But I’m apparently on a path for constant self-improvement.


NINE places I’ve visited

1: Mexico – various cities, some tourist-y some not.

2: Hawaii, Maui & Kaui

3: Aruba! (Thanks to Angie for reminding me!!)

4: Washington DC

5: Jackson, Mississippi

6: Tulsa, Oklahoma

7: Las Vegas

8: Newport Beach

9: Oregon – various locations mostly central and the coast


EIGHT ways to win my heart

1: Listen to me like I’m the most fascinating woman you’ve ever heard.

2: Use adjectives like sexy and beautiful, not hot or cute.

3: Be honest with me – even if you’re afraid to – Honesty will get you far.

4: Be creative. Show me that keeping the magic is important to you.

5: Be thoughtful. Actions speak louder, y’all.

6: Be independent of me and yet desire me at the same time.

7: Make nice with my friends and family. Like it or not their opinion matters.

8. Be kind to everyone. Hateful things are so unnecessary.


SEVEN things I want to do before I die

1: Move to Hawaii (see above)

2: Buy a house

3: Get married

4: Travel for an extended period of time in Italy and/or Greece

5: Own my own restaurant

6: Get certified for Scuba Diving (would be much easier if #1 were accomplished)

7: Be satisfied with my body/weight


SIX things I’m afraid of

1: Myself

2: Dying before I’ve accomplished all I want to

3: Not being good enough

4: Being alone

5: Anger – just in general.

6: Confrontation


FIVE things I don't like

1: Mean people. Really. I’m going to quote my Mama here – “If you don’t have anything nice to say… Don’t say anything at all.”

2: Food that can not be identified by sight or smell. No mystery meat for Tiffy!

3: Traffic. Also, people who can’t drive. I’m just saying…

4: Big cities. They’re nice to visit… But I’m tired of living in one!

5: Crying. Not that I’m a mean horrible person who thinks people who cry are weak or whatever. It’s just that crying freaks me out… I don’t know what to say. I have this desperate urge to fix it – what ever “it” is and more often than not I can’t. So I feel helpless. And I don’t like it.


FOUR ways to turn me off

1: Take me for granted.

2: Have an undue sense of entitlement. We’re all in this game together. No one is better.

3: Poor grooming – bad breath, unkempt hair and nails. I don’t ask that you be a fashion model. Just be clean and presentable.

4: Treat service/retail people badly. This girl spent time on that side… There is no excuse for it y’all. Those people are trying to help you – it’s their job! Give them a break sometimes…


THREE Things I do everyday

1: Think happy thoughts. I know it sounds lame but I think you can choose to be happy.

2: Snuggle with the kitty. And attempt snuggling with TheBoy.

3: Talk to one or more of my girlfriends. And my mom. It keeps me sane y’all!


TWO things that make me happy
1: “Kisses” from my kitty.

2: Long conversations with lots of giggling and wine with my friends.


ONE thing on my mind right now

1: The future.

Thankful

I hope that all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with your friends and family! In that vein, I'm posting a list of things that I am thankful for.

I'm thankful for my wonderful group of friends - and especially the Fab 5. I don't think I would last through one day without them! I'm truly thankful that I've been able to meet and establish relationships with all of you.

I'm thankful for my family. My mother is one of my closest friends.

I'm thankful for my health. Even though I've spent the last few days with a horrible cold - I'm generally well, strong and healthy.

I'm thankful for my (hypothetical) job and for my (theoretical) boss. Because, you know, if I could confirm or deny the existence of either I would tell you all how wonderful they are. And that I maybe got some un-expected time off for the holidays which I truly appreciated.

I'm thankful for TheBoy. Even though the last few weeks have been stressful for us, he has not wavered in his commitment to me and to making "us" work. Whatever the outcome I know that I am truly loved.

I know that all of the above things are the generic list that everyone has but... I am truly feeling blessed and I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge it.

I will commence regularly scheduled inane blogging shortly.

Kleptomania

noun: a very strong and uncontrollable desire to steal, especially without any need or purpose, usually considered to be a type of mental illness.*

1. Do you like Chinese food?
Yep - mu shu pork with those little pancakes... Oh and chow mein! Yumm!

2. How big is your bed?
I think it's a queen. I don't know for sure - it's TheBoy's bed.

3. Is your room clean?
Yes.

4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
Laptop at work - desktop at home.

5. Favorite comedian?
I'll have to go with Bill Engval too.

6. Do you smoke?
Not any more. But I tell you regardless of my health-Nazi-ness, if there were no bad side effects to smoking I'd smoke like a chimney! I love smoking! *sigh* I unfortunately also like living. And living heatlhy.

8. What's the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
She was a founding board member of the Center for a New Generation, an educational support fund for schools in East Palo Alto and East Menlo Park while serving as Provost at Stanford. Unless you meant physically sexy, in which she case frowns a bit too much for me.

9. Would you rather receive amazing oral seex or have amazing seex?
That's tough. I suppose by "amazing" I can assume I'd, er..., enyoy both of them equally? That never happens for me. But if it did... I'd say amazing seex. It's always better to share the "amazing" right?

10. Sleep with or without clothes on?
With. It annoys TheBoy but I just CAN NOT sleep nekkid.

11. Who sleeps with you every night?
TheBoy and TheCat.

12. Do long distance relationships work?
I think in the short term they can. But it's never an ideal situation.

13. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
Oh my. Maybe 5 or 6 times. Notably I got pulled over for speeding for the first and second time ever when I was 17 within a week of each other. Also, I got pulled over for a field sobriety test twice in the same evening within an hour of each other and within a half mile of each other.

14. Pancakes or French Toast?
FRENCH TOAST! OMG I want French Toast so badly right now!! It's my favorite decadent breakfast thing! With fresh maple syrup and sausage. Mmmm....

15. Do you like coffee?
It's really more of a "need" than a "like" thing!

16. How do you like your eggs?
Extra dry. If they're scrambled I like them browned on the edges. If they're fried the yolks have to be broken and there can be no jiggling. I'm odd I know it. I like my eggs dry and my steaks bloody.

17. Do you believe in astrology?
Nope.

18. Last person you talked to on the phone?
Business - a banker regarding a referral, personal - TheBoy regarding Thanksgiving.

19. Last person on your missed call list?
My dentist's office.

20. What was the last text message you received?
I don't get a lot of text messages. It's still the "no. see you at 930." one from Liz.

21. McDonalds or Burger King?
Neither.

22. Number of pillows?
1.

23. Last thing you ate?
Low fat string cheese from Trader Joes.

24. Last thing you bought?
Dinner last night. Mmmm Greek food!

25. What are you hearing right now?
My boss leaving a "back-off" message for someone who totally deserves it. It's making me laugh.

26. Pick a lyric.
"She was just a small town girl, living in a lonely world. She took a midnight train going anywhere. He was just small town boy, born and raised in south Detroit. He took a midnight train going anywhere." - from Journey. Stupid Karaoke!

27. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
Blackberry.

28. Can you play pool?
Yes but not well. Though I was getting pretty good there for awhile when I was bartending. I was trading beers for lessons!

29. Do you know how to swim?
Yep. LOVE swimming.

30. Favorite ice cream?
Baseball Nut or Pralines and Cream.

31. Do you like maps?
Maps? I suppose if they are showing me the way out of town!

32. Tell me a random fact:
I am nauseous approximately 70% of the time.

33. Ever play spin the bottle?
Actually no.

34. Ever attend a theme party?
Yep - a couple. In fact I've been wanting to put on together... Maybe in the spring.

35. Ever do a keg stand?
Sadly yes. I thought I wouldn't have to admit that outside of college or high school though!

36. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?
LOL - I'm not THAT crazy. I'm a sleep at home girl. It doesn't seem to matter how drunk I am, I WILL find my way home to my own bed.

37. What is your favorite season?
Summer. Hello wakeboarding trips to the lake, camping, beach trips with bon fires, sand volleyball and cold beer on hot hot afternoons!

38. What is the first music video you ever saw?
Faith No More by INXS. I loved the end part where the fish is flopping around and the piano explodes?

39. Pick a movie quote:
"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!" - from Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

40. Favorite quote:
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln.

41. What is your favorite Thirsty Thursday hangout?
Depends on what I am in the mood for - F&A's for a martini, Nola's for sangria or a hurricane, at home with friends for beer and wine.

42. Best friend's name?
Liz and Angie.

43. How long have you known them?
Liz - since college. We had an English class together. I just wanted to make her laugh, loosen her up a bit - I had no idea what I was about to unleash upon the world! Now she's the one making me laugh and getting me to loosen up!
Angie - since... maybe 8th grade? Awhile anyway. Her family were missionaries from our church and they were home on a stop over before they left to Fiji. They never made it to Fiji. And it's a good thing too!

44. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
I'm constantly doing stupid things and laughing at myself! Though lately I haven't done enough laughing... I need to change that.

45. What time did you wake up this morning?
6:15.

46. Wake up next to anyone?
Yup. Just TheBoy though... TheCat had abandoned ship earlier when I got up to use the restroom about 5 am.

47. Best thing about winter?
Christmas!

48. Name a couple of favorite colors:
Pink. Green.

49. How old are you?
26.

50. What month is your birthday in?
April.

51. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
Umm... real pirates? I love pirate movies and books...

52. Favorite Dave Matthews Band song (if you have one)?
Say Goodbye from the Crash album.

So here we are tonight
You and me together
The storm outside, the fire is bright
And in your eyes I see
What's on my mind
You've got me wild
Turned around inside
And then desire, see, is creeping
Up heavy inside here
And know you feel the same way
I do now
Now let's make this an evening
Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight
Stay here with me, love, tonight
Just for an evening
When we make
Our passion pictures
You and me twist up
Secret creatures
And we'll stay here
Tomorrow go back to being friends

Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best
Of all we can offer, Just a rogue kiss
Tangled tongues and lips,
See me this way
I'm turning and turning for you
Girl just tonight

Float away here with me
An evening just wait and see
But tomorrow go back to your man
I'm back to my world
And we're back to being friends
Wait and see me,
Tonight let's do this thing
All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all ours
On our way here
Tomorrow go back to being friends

Go back to being friends
Tonight let's be lovers, say you will
And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love
A thing or two I have to say here
Tonight let's go all the way then
Love I'll see you,
Just for this evening
Let's strip down, trip out at this
One evening starts with a kiss
Run away

And tomorrow
back to being friends
Lovers...love...lovers
Just for tonight, one night...love you
And tomorrow say goodbye

53. What are you doing this weekend?
Going to Bella Vista to have a late Thanksgiving with TheBoy's dad and family.

54. Who will take this survey?
Um... Liz already did it. And I'm sure Kate's doing it. So, maybe Michele? Or maybe Mary will do it and get back into blogging?

*****

*For the reference see this.

The Crazy.

I realize I am Crazy. I firmly embrace it.

But there are those even crazier than I.

This afternoon I was walking down the street to pick up lunch for the boss and I. Yes, I realize that it's after 3 o'clock and we just finished lunch... Welcome to my life. Anywho.

I was walking down the street, thoroughly enjoying the warm fall weather with just a hint of winter... My mind was on a million other things. Well to be honest, it's on one particular other thing and the millions of parts to that particular situation. But I digress.

I notice that a woman is walking towards me. I hate to generalize or assume because I am often wrong. But I'll go out on a limb and say that this woman was maybe homeless. She just had that look about her that spoke of misfortune and hard times you know?

I noticed her because she stopped to say something to the man in front of me. I couldn't hear what she said but the man shook his head negatively and walked on. I assumed she was asking for money, as is often the case in large downtown areas like the one my office is located in. I braced myself for the silent, regretful shake of the head as she came towards me.

Just as I expected, as she drew within speaking distance of me she stopped walking and moved closer to me. And said very quietly, yet clearly,

"You are going to die alone."



I wish she had asked for money. I wish I had heard what words of wisdom she had for the guy in front of me. I wish this wasn't getting to me like it is.

I wish it didn't have a ring of truth to it.

I really wish I could rewind the last month and start over.

Road Rage Pick Up Lines?

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...

Okay well actually I was on my way to pick up TheBoy's wallet, which he had conveniently left at work... I guess it's a good sign that he's as distracted as I am with all the stress that's been going around us lately.

Anywho... So I'm driving down the expressway and I notice this red mustang following really closely behind me. But this is Silicon Valley so it doesn't really phase me. After awhile he changes lanes but because there is traffic (it's like 4:30 in the afternoon on a Thursday) he never gets very far ahead of me. This apparently is annoying him. As we approach the exit I am taking he randomly slams on his brakes from the left lane and cuts across behind me to take the same exit.

Now the "exit" to get to TheBoy's office is one of those clover leaf design ones. Where you go around and under the street you were just on? And there is a stop sign at the end of the ramp because the street it dumps you onto is busy. Being the law-abiding citizen that I am, I stopped at the stop sign. And then I hear this ear-piercing squealing sound and look in my rear view mirror just in time to see my friend in the red mustang careening to a stop a few inches from my bumper. Apparently he wasn't so keen on obeying traffic signs.

And y'all. He is screaming and cursing and waiving his hands around like a maniac! I seriously sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes to digest this. Which is, of course, the exact wrong thing to do because it's making him more angry! Apparently he had some place very important to be. But because I am a nice person, and because I felt slightly guilty for laughing at him in case he did have somewhere to be (maybe surgery? anger management class?) I raised my hand in a "so sorry for obeying the law by stopping at the clearly marked stop sign and therefore causing you to nearly wreck your car" waive and merged into traffic.

Apparently my wave didn't have the desired effect. Mustang boy comes flying out into traffic, without stopping at the stop sign, narrowly missing the car he cut off and drives right up on my bumper. This is when Tiffy starts to get scared. Clearly this guy is mentally imbalanced! But I calmly take the turn which leads to TheBoy's office. And guess what? Mustang boy turned too! This is not a happy coincidence! Also, I should add that he's still screaming and waiving his hands and sending generally threatening vibes my way.

So what could I do? I pulled my car into a parking space outside the office and jumped out ready to sprint inside to safety with the desired effect of having several of the men inside accompany back out to my car just in case Mustang boy decided to stick around.

Just as I get out of my car and slam the door Mustang boy pulls up. Now y'all, I won't lie, I was no longer amused. In fact I was bordering on down right frightened at this point. So Mustang boy pulls up, looks over and utters the following words:

"Hey sorry about that back there... Maybe I could buy you dinner to make up for it?"

(insert stunned silence here)

Excuse me? Is this some new form of pick up line? Extreme dating the road rage edition? Is there any woman out there remotely turned on at this point thinking - oh yes please, I like Italian?

I can't even recall now what I said as I dashed off into the building. And thankfully Mustang boy had driven off before I made it back out.

That my friends is yet another reason to fear road rage.

"Fitness" is good!

So by now y'all should be pretty darn familiar with the table above. And you can probably tell by my post title where I have finally sweated, grunted and clawed my to. Yep - I am now in the "fitness" category!

Wahoo!

(insert funky Roger Rabbit type dance move here)

AND? The coach didn't totally laugh at me when I told her I desperately wanted to lose the last 10 pounds (of the 40 I put on a few years back) by Christmas. She calmly looked at me and said, "well that gives us 6 weeks... Let's talk about what you need to do."

Have I mentioned I love her? I take back every horrible mean thing I ever thought or said about her during those first few weeks of agonizing lunges and squats! I do. So. So. Sorry! Love you Mary Beth!

So here I am armed with my plan to break into the "athletes" percentages and lose the last 10 pounds. I have a PLAN. And a STRATEGY. Food has been bought. Exercises planned. Drinking minimized.* Also, people have been told. So, you know, I feel sort of accountable and stuff. You know?

Wish me luck!



*So. So. HARD! But notice I said "minimized" not "eliminated"? That's just crazy! Crazy talk right there! I'd hate to have to break the new PLAN within a moment of starting it after all.

Because y'all were DYING to know!

How many people on your friends list are exs? Um… One.

What is your favorite part of the chicken? Breasts.

What's your favorite town? San Antonio.

How did your last relationship end? With him telling me he didn’t have time to talk to me about breaking up because he had more important things on his mind.

What's the first word that comes to mind right now? Music.

When was the last time you saw your mom in person? Saturday.

Whats the best insult you've ever heard or said? “Enjoy it, because that’s the last time a little man like you will ever get to f&$@ a girl like me.” I’m not proud but there it is. I was pissed!

What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT? Steak Wraps – thanks Liz!

How long have you been at your current job? A year.

What's the last thing you said out loud? “This is Tiffany”

Look to your left. What's there? A water bottle and a file I’m working on.

What is the last thing/person you spent over $100 on? New skinny clothes!

Who's your favorite villain? I have no idea…

Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? I think a black dress with leather straps from Liz about 2 years ago – which I still have!

What’s the last piece of clothing you bought? Um… I went shopping on Saturday for the first time in AGES! So I bought a pair of brown slacks, a pair of black corduroys, new jeans, a black sweater, a white button down shirt and a pink tweed jacket.

What word makes you laugh no matter where, when or how many times you hear it? “cheesy” as in “do I look cheesy or what” not like “this pasta is so cheesy”

What website do you visit the most during the day? I assume this means non-work related? I’ll say GMAIL.

Go into your text message log on your phone...what does the last message say? “no. see you at 930.” From Liz.

Do you have an air freshener in your car? Nope.

Do you have plants in your room? Yes. One lone plant that the cat hasn’t managed to destroy.

If you could drink anything right this second, what would be? Freshly made sun tea.

Last piece of e-mail opened? A message from Mary.

Does anything hurt on your body right now? My left hamstring is pretty tight but otherwise, no.

What city was your last taxi cab ride in? Reno.

Last alcoholic drink? Red wine with the girls last night.

If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave? Um no. Karma’s a b*&@$ man!

Do you own a picture phone? Yes.

What's your bf/gf, or most recent Ex birthday? January 11

What were you doing last night at 9? Watching the first part of Matagascar.

What's your favorite Starbucks drink? Eh. I’m not so crazy about Starbucks. But I go there a lot because TheBoy is a caramel macchiato fiend! I always order a grande soy latte with an extra shot.

Do you exercise as much as you should? 6 days a week!

did you do the deed on prom night? Yep. But I’d been dating the guy for almost a year by then.

Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated on you? Oh this is going to make me sound like a huge hypocrite… Yes.

Something purple within 5 feet of you: Ew. I strongly dislike the color purple. Oh wait… The border on the card that came with the flowers TheBoy sent on our anniversary is purple.

The sexiest item of clothing you own: Yeah, “me” and “sexy”? They don’t often get said in the same sentence… I love the way the black dress with leather straps looks on me, but Liz owns that so…

Your nails were last painted: Saturday. Clear. I think we’re seeing why I was having so much trouble with the sexy thing above!

How much Japanese do you know? Enough to order sushi.

Do you look good in yellow? I think so.

Do you sing? All the time.

Ever danced naked in front of a crowd? Um no.

Do you spit? Nope.

Is your hair long enough to chew on? Yes. But, ew.

Least favorite color? Purple.

Ever had Dippin' Dots? Nope. They freak me out.

Ever played an instrument? The violin in the 3rd grade. And I’ve been attempting to learn the guitar for oh… 7 years now.

Ever had a H2O massage? Nope.

Do you believe in Big Foot? Nope.

Ever been to a palm reader? Nope.

Did you have a good weekend? Yes I did.

Current yearning: Shhh… It’s a secret…

Have you ever had a black eye? Um, no. Not that I can think of.

How is the day going for you? Pretty darn well.

Any plans for tonight? Dinner with TheBoy and our friends Angie and Erik.

Ever photograph something that was dead? No.

Are you ready for Christmas? NO!

Do you find Smurfette sexy? Sure!

Current disappointment: Not buying a house. But it’s my own d&#% fault. And something I’m proud of at the same time…

Holy &$@%!*

*Notice how I'm trying to cut back on the cursing? Call it a New Year's resolution a few months early...

*****

Anywho. I normally try to stay away from talk of politics within the spaces of this blog. However, I read something today which absolutely stopped me dead cold in my tracks.

I present to you all Bill O'Reilly of Fox News, in response the the voting that took place in San Francisco earlier this month where the public passed legislation opposing military recruitment in public schools and banning handgun ownership.*

"You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds,' "

And oh, it gets better...

"Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead, and if al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead."

*ahem*

Anybody else wondering if O'Reilly missed his 12th grade Government class where they explain the beauty of the democratic system and the whole entire point behind voting and freedom of choice and expression and all that? Anyone?

Also, I'm wondering where the angry backlash is. The mobs with burning clubs? Public outcry? I mean - isn't this just a teensy bit more serious than Natalie Maines going over to London and expressing her embarrassment that she and Bush share the same home state? THAT little tidbit made the radio and news for WEEKS! Where is his public apology?

I hear that there have been some formal complaints lodged with Fox but come on y'all. Isn't this a little akin to shouting "fire" in a movie theater or "bomb" on an airplane? You can get ARRESTED for those things!

Oh. My. Goodness.

I'm just saying, is all.


*Not that I personally agree with either the opposition of military recruitment in public schools or the ban on handgun ownership... But I can at least appreciate the majority opinion of the voting public in San Francisco. It's the beauty of being an American right? Being able to make your voice heard through voting? I would never call down terrorism on someone just because I disagreed with their political view points.

Look what I found!

I realize this particular MeMe went around MONTHS ago... I copied it and saved it to do later. And, well, now it's later. I actually found it when I was going in to update my budget. Wahoo! Budget time! Actually normally that statement would be laced with enough sarcasm that even those of you who don't know the real me would get the point loud and clear. But now? Since I've paid off my car? And the last of the student loans*? Budget time is so, so exciting!

What/who makes you:

Laugh the hardest: My girlfriends, especially Liz, she just gets me. Sometimes I think we frighten TheBoy!

So mad you wanna punch a baby: Punch a BABY? That’s wrong! I think I can safely say I’ve never been THAT mad.

Really really truly happy: Being at the lake, a clean house, waking up with my boys next to me (TheBoy and TheCat – don’t get any weird ideas!)

Jealous: When someone else is getting the attention or credit for something that I feel is rightfully mine.

Act like an asshole: Jealousy.

Think: My friends. Songs on the radio.

Feel all warm and fuzzy inside: An unexpected hug from TheBoy.

Cringe: When people say things without their “filter” and inadvertantly hurt someone’s feelings.

Roll your eyes: People letting their children run like rampant beasts.

Feel inadequate: LOL! Practically everything!

Feel superior: Nothing.

Appreciate your life as it is right now: My friends. We’re all here together so it can’t be that bad. Right?


*For a degree I still have yet to finish... It's a sad, sad thing really.

Wahoo!

Anyone care to explain to me how I cash in on this??

My blog is worth $3,387.24.
How much is your blog worth?

More favorites...

I'm sure this could go on and on and on forever but this morning driving home from boot camp I was just amazed by all the beautiful fall leaves that are changing and falling. So pretty!

Also, that got me to thinking (because Fall is not usually my favorite season) that I didn't mention the first early season wakeboard runs! When the water is still cold and the lake isn't crowded because only the crazy people are out. For those of us who think it's entirely too long between the end of October and the first of May!

I'll be back later with another post but I just wanted to share a few more favorites. I'm really enjoying this happy place I seem to have stumbled into!

"I've got a peaceful, easy feeling..."

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

I saw a reference to the Sound of Music on TV yesterday and I've had the "Favorite Things" song stuck on repeat in my head all day today! I suppose there are worse things... I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel as far as the overwhelming work goes, I committed to a weight loss goal and the trainer from boot camp thinks it is totally do-able, and TheBoy and I are more comfortable and relaxed around each other than we have been in weeks.

Good things all around. Maybe that's why the "Favorite Things" song is prompting a post about... You guessed it, my favorite things. As opposed to, you know, annoying the heck out of me and everyone with in earshot. It's fun to have a good feeling day. Especially after the disaster that was last week! And Thanksgiving is just around the corner... Which kicks off my favorite time of year. I just love the holidays!

So I'm compiling a list of my favorite things. I'm sure I'll add to it as there is no way I could cover everything in one sitting! Feel free to add your own favorites to my list.

*****

Those first few minutes you are awake and warm in bed before you have to get up into the cold of your bedroom.

Having an awesome work out, one where you leave drenched in sweat.

When my cat tries to climb up my leg because he wants to be snuggled. And how he puts his little nose on mine - I taught him to "kiss" when he was a kitten and he still does it!

Skinny jeans. Or more importantly - being able to fit into the skinny jeans up easily. Or, as I recently discovered, turning your skinny jeans into fat day jeans and buying new skinny jeans in a smaller size!

The smell of wood burning fireplaces on a cold night.

Watching the sun rise and knowing the day ahead has infinite possibilities.

Finally saying something you've been holding inside, and having those feelings justified by the one person you thought wouldn't understand.

Hot chocolate made from scratch after a cold day's outing.

Waking up in your sleeping bag, listening to the sounds outside and realizing that you are blissfully alone (except for your campmates) and the world is so much bigger than anything you could possibly imagine.

Shooting stars.

Nights with friends spent sharing stories and laughing so hard that your cheeks / stomach hurt the next morning.

Running - long, even strides pounding out a rhythm on the pavement in time to your heart beat. Also, being healthy enough to run.

The smell of dinner cooking when you walk up to someone's door.

Pine trees.

Making lists. Then, crossing things off of the lists and feeling accomplished.

Newly sharpened #2 pencils and a brand new spiral notebook filled with blank pages.

Driving in my car with the top down and my hair blowing in the wind. Thank God the wind-blown look is considered "in".

Baseball games with hot dogs, peanuts and $7 beers. The 7th inning stretch.

Planning, shopping for and cooking a meal for friends who appreciate it all the more because they know how much you worked to make it perfect for them.

Skinny dipping.

Running barefoot in the grass.

Finishing a great novel. One that made you laugh out loud and cry silent tears.

The first pedicures in the spring when it's starting to be warm enough to wear sandals again.

Picking blackberries for cobbler on the side of the road and eating roughly half of the sun-warmed berries before they even make it to your basket.

Knowing smiles shared between old friends.

TheBoy.

Countdown Thing...

Sorry guys - I am just really not in the mood to blog today...

10 Favorites...
Favorite Color: Pink
Favorite Food: Mexican
Favorite Band/Singer: Antigone Rising
Favorite Hobby: Reading
Favorite Movie: Dirty Dancing
Favorite Sport: Baseball
Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Day Of the Week: Sunday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Baseball Nut
Favorite Time of Day: Morning

9 Currents...
Current Mood: Anxious.
Current Clothes: Black slacks and a pink silk sweater
Current Underwear Color: Pink
Current Desktop Picture: Yellow Tulips
Current Nail Color: Clear
Current Time: 12:00 pm
Current Surroundings: Files, printer on the left and Phone, Day Runner on the right
Current Annoyance(s): My own indecision
Current Thought: Am I making a mistake?

8 Firsts...
First Best Friend: Laurel Grey
First Screen Name: Tiffy2
First Pet: Ginger the hampster
First tattoo: Forget Me Nots (flowers)
First Crush: Ross Wells
First Music or Group You Remember: Alabama
First Car: Green 1995 Saturn SL1

7 Lasts...
Last Cigarette: Brooks and Dunn
Last Drink: alcoholic- dirty martinis and red wine last night. Non-alcohoic- water just now.
Last time on drugs: Umm… I took some pain killers a few weeks ago for a sore quad
Last Kiss: this morning when I dropped TheBoy off for work
Last Movie Watched: Something really horrible with Wesley Snipes last night
Last CD Played: Antigone Rising

6 Have You Evers....
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: A pre-existing best friend? No.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Yes.
Have You Ever Been Arrested: No.
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes.
Have You Ever Been on TV: No.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Yes.

5 Places You've been
1. Aruba
2. Cancun
3. Hawaii (multiple islands)
4. Vegas
5. Disney Land

4 People You Can Tell Anything To:
1. Liz
2. Angie
3. TheBoy
4. My Mom

3 Things....
1. 3 Things u can hear right now: A diesel motor, voices, me typing
2. 3 Things You Can't Live Without: The Fab 5, Chapstick, and Sugar-Free Redbull
3. 3 Things You Do When You're Bored: Read, Blog, Sleep
2 Choices...
1. Black or White: White
2. Hot or Cold: Hot

1 Thing You Want to Do Before You Die: Own my own restaurant.

Unfair!

How is it that I can toss and turn and be wide awake all night only to finally fall into deep deep sleep 20 minutes before the alarm goes off?

If only I had 1/4 of her wardrobe!

You Are Most Like Carrie! You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date. But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal? It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky. Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a great closet of clothes, no matter what! Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year... Totally different from any guy you've dated. Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You Most Like? Take This Quiz Right Now! Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Quick Update

Sorry kiddies... I've got an enormous amount of crap do get done today. Made worse by the fact that I haven't been able to concentrate much lately with all the house stuff going on!

But I know you guys have been crossing your fingers and toes for me and I really appreciate the support! So I thought it would be rude of me to just abandon you all for the day without a quick update on the housing situation.

We received the seller's counter offer last night. It basically boils down to this... He doesn't want to sell that badly. If we buy this house it will basically be on his terms. Whether or not those terms are acceptable is a matter of hot debate over in ChezGhetto.

So there you have it. An update but no decision. And of course, more waiting.

I think I must have done something really awful in a past life! Maybe I was one of those habitually late people that always kept everyone waiting? That would seem fitting wouldn't it?

Now back to the grindstone for me! Y'all have an awesome day!

The meanest things

I'm desperately trying to distract myself from the house negotiations that are going on at the moment. What better way than to spout off some useless babble to all of you my IIF's and RF's too? So see, by reading this nonsense you're actually helping me retain my sanity! Consider it your good deed for the day.

Now we know that I am a blog stalker. For those of you I read regularly, I've started checking out the blogs you link to. And the blogs of people who comment. And the blogs that Blogger recommends on the start page. And so on and so on.

This self-distraction has been going on for awhile! Word to the wise: Buying a house is stressful!

I had a point to all this.

Oh right, so in all the blog reading I've been doing I've noticed that almost everyone has some sort of post along the lines of their happiest moments or their favorite things... And because I'm a sarcastic person I decided that it would be funny to do posts on the opposite things.

I present to you now, the meanest things that have ever been said to me. In general chronological order.

1) "God told me I shouldn't date you anymore."

Spoken by my first serious boyfriend ever when breaking up with me sometime around my 15th birthday. I don't harbor any hard feelings towards him though... He's turned into a really great guy! But I don't think he understands the effect those words had on my feelings about God and the church...

2) "I just can't have fun if you are there."

Said to me by my high school sweetheart while trying to explain to me why I couldn't go to a party at a mutual friend's house with him. How can you argue with that? Also, does anyone else see the warning sign here? Ah, love is blind...

3) "I'm so glad that your mother and I had you. It gives me almost an excuse to keep in contact with her. She was the love of my life."

My biological father. We drove out to the beach when he came out for my high school graduation. I hadn't seen him in over 6 years at that point. I haven't seen him since.

4) "I don't have time for you right now."

As I was trying to break up with my high school sweetheart. Seriously, you don't care enough about me to listen to me break up with you? That's just wrong! Of course we hadn't seen each other in months at that point except for some random effort on his part to have dinner on Valentine's Day. I suppose it should have been clear where I stood in his line of priorities!

5) "I don't understand why someone as smart as you would waste your life on something like that."

My mother (yes, it's true - I suppose it was the fact that we're so close that made this so mean). Over dinner for her birthday after I had just told her that I wanted to pursue my life long dream of owning a restaurant and go to culinary school. It should be a testament to how much I respect my mother's opinion that I have yet to attend formal culinary school. Though I haven't given up on my dream of owning my own restaurant.

6) "I just don't understand the point of it. Marriage seems to be mainly for the ignorant and uneducated. It's an outdated institution from another era. I suppose some day we might as well but there's no reason to now."

TheBoy. And his mother. And his brother. And the brother's girlfriend. Can you say I felt a little bit ganged up on? Ah... Shattered dreams are so bitter sweet aren't they?

Well I suppose that's enough. Those are the first ones that came to mind when I sat down to write this post. And they are clearly the ones that have had the most impact on who I am today. It's amazing how strong and resilient people are that I can now jokingly post about these things that at one point devastated me. Don't you think?